Ore no Osananajimi wa Joshikousei de Yuusha

Lady Demy left her room, accompanied by Yuuki.
She left the door open, and her ‘attendant’ Yuuki hurriedly turned around to close it.

They did not notice the shadow hiding in the ceiling of the staircase a few meters ahead of them, concealing its breath.
Yes, it was the assassin in the employ of the wicked lady.
He blends into his surroundings with magic, wore strange clothing, and with his tempered mental power hid his presence, waiting for his target.

This is the plan.

The target, Yuuki, would start to go down the stairs. At that time, the assassin would blow a poison needle with his mouth.
The needle would pierce his neck, the neurotoxin stop his heart, and he would lose his balance, tumbling down the stairs. The needle is itself made of the poison, frozen with magic.

It disappears instantly, leaving no evidence.

His death will surely be dealt with as an accident of him falling down the stairs, or maybe a fall-down curse by someone… Either way, what happens next is not for the assassin to know.

The assassin held his breath, continuously waiting.
The moment Yuuki came along…….

†

Together with Lady Demy, I walked along the corridor that was as wide as my own room.
Not long after, I saw the staircase where I split up with Arina.

“That Arina, I wonder if she’s doing well.”
I suddenly thought of her and muttered.
“Oh? how rude. Thinking of another woman while I’m right here with you.”
“N, no…. I don’t mean it like that.”
Somehow I talked about her like a love interest, I somehow feel itchy.
Lady Demy looked at my unrest happily with roguish eyes and smiled as she said, “I’m kidding.”

Maybe because we’re outside, Lady Demy took on a sadistic, high-handed character.
Her switch flips quickly.

“You’re worried about her?”
“She’s a birdbrain after all…. She’d run into trouble as soon as you take your eyes off her, and she’s bad at socializing with people, too. I hope they don’t give her a hard time.”
“It’s almost like she can’t do anything without you around.”
“I’m not saying that, but… she’s not someone who can do things on her own.”
“That girl is not as bull-headed as you think she is, actually, she’s scarily crafty.”
“Huh?”
She’s a good-for-nothing who still holds her chopsticks in a fist even after she’s become a 11th grader you know.
“Just what do you see that makes you think that highly of her.”
“I don’t know? …… A woman’s intuition, I guess?”
“If you call her crafty, then all I can think of is that your definition of crafty is different to mine. Foreign culture is seriously scary.”
“You really look down on her, don’t you.”
“Well, she really is dumb…”
As we talked like that, we started going down the stairs.

“Yuu-ku—n!”

……. Uwaa!
The topic of conversation herself appeared wearing maid clothes.
I didn’t even have the time to say “Hi, how are you doing.”
She was thinking something and ferociously dashed towards me… She’s fast!
“Watch ooooooo—ut!”
In the blink of an eye she jumped at my back.

*slap*

She hit the back of my neck with her palm.
“OUCH! What are you doing!”
“I, I I I, I’m sorryyyy! Arina is a useless and garbage maid! Please insult me as much as you like! K, k, kick me hard!”
“Enough with your awful hobby! Tell me why you did it, why!”
“B, because…”
Arina showed me her palm.

There was a small louse there, dead.

“I was stopping a mosquito…”
“Ah, really…. Thanks. You can see a mosquito from that distance, huh.”
“E, ehe, ehehehe. Arina, has bad eyesight but if it’s Yuu-kun I can watch you from meters away! I can tell the sound of Yuu-kun’s footsteps in a crowd! From the scent as well!”
What are you so damn proud of….
“Look at ojousama’s face, will you? She’s totally creeped out. And you’re making too much of a fuss over a mosquito.”
I nonchalantly said so.
“Y, you can’t, you can’t make light of mosquitoes!”
She said with an angry look.
“Mosquitos are vectors for infectious diseases! Especially in a foreign country, there are many cases where you have no resistance or treatment for mosquito bites! —says mother.”
“U… uh-huh.”

“If Yuu-kun catches HIV or syphilis or anything, h, h, how will I live my life?”

“Why am I getting venereal diseases.”
Also, mosquitoes don’t carry syphilis.
“Y, y, you’re right. A, A, Arina, has nothing to do with it, right. No matter what venereal disease Yuu-kun gets.”
“Leave the venereal diseases out of it already!”
“B, but, Arina… no matter what illness Yuu-kun catches, I’ll accept you.”
“Stop, STOOOP!”
What are you saying in public you nitwit!

“My apologies, Lady Demy. She made you listen to such graphic stories. Just ignore her.”
“N, no…. that was quite enlightening.”
“Huh?”
“Yes! No! Y, you, have a little shame! Hmph, really… you’re beyond hope!”
Oi, you were frantically trying to stop yourself falling forward just now.
Is this princess really all right….
“But well, Arina’s right about the disease.”
I have an insect spray in my E:ID phone so I’ll handle it later.
“That was careless of me… you saved me there.”
“E, ehehe.”
As I thanked her Arina put on a drowsy smile. Just the way she usually does.
“U, um. F, for my reward, will you step on me with all your strength….”
“Rejected.”
“Uuu…. and after I finally put on maid clothes, too.”
“Your image of maid clothes is too crooked. Apologize to every other maid out there!”

The three of us went down the stairs.
We went down with me in between Lady Demy and Arina.
“Arina, are you doing your job properly? Did you make trouble for other people?”
“N, no… I didn’t… I think?”
“Oi oi. Are you really going to be all right.”
“Yes. Arina will be all right. … Yuu-kun as well, watch out for bugs, okay.”
“Is that your important point.”
“Because it’s really dangerous!”
“Yeah yeah.”
……. hm.
So she didn’t get a mental breakdown.
If she broke down she would’ve cried and complained.

“Oh right, this is good timing. We were going to the chapel, can you tell Tris?”
Having received the message from Lady Demy, Arina nodded.
“Okay then, I have work to do so…”
She waved her hand.
…… well.
It seems that she’s going to be all right.
I still have a touch of anxiety I can’t shake off, so I watched her back as she went away, and felt just a little bit of relief.

†

After Yuuki and the others left the premises, the killing intent waiting hidden on the ceiling started to move.
The assassin was feigning calmness, but he was shaken beyond measure.
The target appeared as planned, but just as he shot the blowgun an intruder appeared.
The calculated shot missed the mark, hit the floor, and disappeared.
Well…… he was ready for that much.
Somehow the target was surrounded by the maid and the Lady, going down the stairs as if protecting him.
With that formation, it was impossible to kill him with a blowgun.
No matter how he aimed, it was going to hit someone other than the target.

……. was this a calculated move?

No no no. There couldn’t possibly be an attendant who uses his own master as a shield… He doesn’t register my presence in the first place. It was a coincidence. It must be.
He decided that was the case and went out of the mansion for the next plan. If they were going to the chapel, then he should ambush them there.

The Isky residence gardens are covered by groves of trees, so if one entered those groves and left the gardes one would reach the chapel faster than through the normal route.
He ran through the groves with stealth steps and a speed faster than normal people—….

But there was a single maid standing there, the assassin became more and more taken aback.

It was Arina.

The invisibility robe doesn’t work on her.
She saw through the assassin’s existence.
“Ah, dear me. These insects keep buzzing buzzing buzzing around my precious Yuu-kun.”
Arina made an affected lament.
“Not that I don’t understand, though. Yuu-kun’s aroma is just like sweet nectar dripping from a flower. Can’t be helped that it would draw insects.”

The assassin probably noticed that this maid is not normal.
He prepared a short sword and got ready for a fight.
But Arina showed no signs of stopping and continued talking incoherently as if in a trance.
“That’s right! Hey you, be a honeybee! Steal some pollen from Yuu-kun’s stamen secretly and pollinate my pistil! It would be great! That way Yuu-kun won’t be troubled and I will be blessed with a child that carries his sublime genes!”

It was beyond his understanding, or perhaps he didn’t care, the assassin did not react to Arina’s nonsensical remarks.

“Huh? You don’t understand? Is it too difficult? In short, this is your last chance from Yuu-kun the merciful. If you say yes you will become a useful tool for Yuu-kun. It’s all right, this way you will be happy without having to think about anything anymore. Most of all, isn’t being useful to the sublime Yuu-kun the greatest honor for anything alive? You must be glad, right. There’s no other answer but yes, right!”

The assassin did not respond.
Instead, he ran forward without any excessive movements.
Then with a speed that the eye couldn’t follow, he lunged at Arina with the short sword—.

“Ah, okay. Die then.”
Arina caught the short sword with just her index and middle fingers and smashed it.
More fear came rushing on to the shaken assassin.
Arina grabbed her enemy’s head with her hand.

“Pest extermination,” she says as she shoved an off-the-shelf can of bug spray into his nose and emptied it there without a shred of hesitation.

“AGAAAAAAAAAAH!”

The assassin who had forged his willpower his entire life screamed.
“GAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

The potent poison that could paralyze even cockroaches, who possessed high survivability, hit his mucous membrane like the cut of a blade, his body started to convulse against its possessor’s will, and the assassin writhed on the soil.
Arina trampled him on the forehead, unmindful of the fact that her underwear is clearly visible from that angle.

*pshhhh*!

The spray assailed his face.
“HIGYAAAAAAAAA!”
“It’ll be all right! You’re not going to die at once! Arina reckons that you have three minutes!”
Which means he was sentenced to three more minutes of hellish anguish.
Arina bound the suffering man with magic.
This way, he looks like a gigantic writhing caterpillar.
Then Arina sat down on the ground, and thinking something, she placed the man’s head on her knees and gently brushed his head like she was cradling a baby.

“The—re there. You jusht made the lasht mishtake of your life, you did—” «TN: I can’t into baby talk»

The man’s eyes were bloodshot and popped out. His face dyed red as if it was painted with blood, fluids ran unceasingly out of his nose, and from his gagged mouth leaked a roar that did not sound like anything human.
On the other hand, Arina watched over him with an expression full of a mother’s kindness.
“You’ll be awwight. I’ll tell you about the gweatness of living for Yuu-kun’s sake so you can die in peace, okay. If you’re born again be useful to him okay. Fufu. I’m really kind, aren’t I.”
She said with an enraptured expression.

……three minutes later.

“Huh?”
Arina, who was fervently talking about Yuu-kun’s physical traits, noticed her listener was no longer moving.
Arina took the spray can in her hand, shook it, and sprayed it in her victim’s nose.
Now that he’s a dead body, he did not react at all.

“Aa-ah. Even though I was getting to the good parts. You’re really disappointing, dying without listening to it.”

Arina stood up.
The corpse on her knees fell down to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut.
Arina tore the corpse’s clothes away, baring his chest. She picked up the point of the blade she smashed up earlier. Then she made thin cuts on the corpse’s chest.
Soon those cuts became a sentence.

It was written thus in the letters of this world.

I will not die to small fry like this.
Do not raise your hand against me or Lady Demy again!
Otherwise it will be your turn next!

A few minutes later, the corpse was thrown into Lady Welsh’s room and caused a small ruckus, but because it was dealt with in secret it remained unknown to Yuuki or Lady Demy.