Chapter 49 – Suburban Open-air Café

The shop Lady Demy and I was going to was a small one compared to the bar I had lunch it with just several seats on the open terrace and counter seats on the inside.
It’s the kind of small shop where a residence was opened up into a café.
Rather than a café it felt more like a tea house.
There was no sign of other customers, either.
Either we came at a time they had few customers, or that the shop doesn’t have that many customers to begin with.
Rather, from the way it looks, it was completely devoid of people.
“…… Do we just go in?”
“I, I dunno …”
An otherworlder and a noble estranged from the common masses wouldn’t know the etiquette for a shop of this scale.
Can we just sit down here somewhere?
We looked at each other in front of the store, but that won’t help any, so…
“Excuse us!”
I gathered my courage and called.
Then.
“Yes ye–s!”
An answer came from inside.
A short while later a small girl came running out.
She was wearing a maid’s hairband on her short cut hair and a common linen apron.
“Welcome!”
She made a dazzling business smile.
Even though she’d be a grade schooler in my world, this girl’s got her wits together.
“Can we go in?”
“Yes! Sorry, I was preparing things inside. Please sit wherever you like”
Thank goodness. I sighed in relief and sat on a terrace seat.
“……”
“……”
So.
…… What should I order?
There’s no menu, and I can’t read one even if there were.
The waitress girl smiled cheerfully while standing ready behind me.
They probably had ‘standard’ stuff, like where you have hot coffee in a coffee shop or draft beer in a tavern, they might have menus but I wouldn’t know about that.
— Princess, I’m counting on you.
I signaled her with my eyes and Lady Demy, after thinking for a few moments, resolved herself and slowly nodded.
“Leave it to me…!”
Shows how much a resolve she had to make an order.
Princess then turned to the girl and said this.
“Do you have Querl highland tea?”
“Eh?”
With an almost muddled sound, the girl’s shaking voice was heard.
“…. I, I, I’m very sorry ….. We don’t have expensive teas like that…”
“Eh? I thought it’s not that expensive”
“U, um… but even B-grade products cost no less than ten thousand gold per cup?”
That’s wealth disparity seen from a tea leaf.
If I’m not mistaken, the guards’ monthly salary is a hundred thousand gold, right?
The Engel’s factor¹ makes you roll on the floor laughing.
In place of the princess who gave up with tears in her eyes, I ordered.
“Anything you recommend, two”
“Yes! Please wait a little while!”
I should’ve done this from the start….
¹ «TN: Proportion of one’s daily income spent on food»

Once we’ve calmed down at our seats, we spread out a map and argued this and that.
We don’t know what stores are where anyhow.
The princess’ local familiarity is limited to the north end’s ‘Noble district’
She has completely no clue about the shopping town.
Of course, I wouldn’t know what goes where just from looking at the map.
Worse, the shops in this world doesn’t have windows or display cases, so it’s hard to know what the store carries from outside. There were signboards but since their trade goods is indicated with illustrations, it’s all gibberish to an otherworlder like me.²
At the same time, the princess who usually looks down from above won’t understand, either.
So in the end we have to brute force it. That said, if I don’t come back with a kettle, I can’t show my face to Mist who I left behind, so I was desperate.
“Shouldn’t we ask someone to buy already?”
Finally, I came up with that proposal.
“Like, ask Cars or someone to do it”
“Knights aren’t errand boys!”
“Well we don’t have to ask those two. People who panics in a teahouse can only give up”
“………..”
*hmph*, Lady Demy puffed her cheeks and put her teacup to her mouth.
“….. don’t wanna. Definitely no”
She’s hardheaded for some reason.
“We have to buy a kettle with the two of us somehow”
She said that and had a staring contest with the map.
She’s probably burning with rivalry with Mist….
Looking at her like this, she’s just a silly little girl.
Which is shocking, because this is the Her Highness the Princess-sama who was sitting on the royal throne a few hours ago.
I can only wonder if she’s someone else.
I don’t think anyone in the Ivan Kingdom ever saw this side of her….
While idly having those thoughts, I watched the princess.
² «TN: e.g. an otherworlder in our world won’t immediately associate  with toilets»

“— Oi, get a fucking grip already!!”

A rough voice roared in the housing district, that gave me a fright.
Then CRASSSH, I heard something break.
I looked and found two evil-looking men blowing up at the girl.
When did they come in…?
“Please stop, there are other customers! Please go! Please!”
The girl begged, but they’re not people she could stop.
“No use talkin to brats”
“Get the old man out, the old man!!”
… looks like things are going to go bad
Just when I was going to stand up.

“You’re being rude to a girl, aren’t you. Calm your heads down a little, please”

It was Lady Demy.
She stood up faster than I could move, rebuking their rudeness with a solemn grace.
“Huuh!?”
“Who the fuck are you!?”
The hoodlums turned their attentions on us.
“I’m the third daughter of a certain divested noble, Demy. If you have a problem, then let’s hear it first”
“There’s nothing to talk ’bout”
“S’easy, this brat won’t pay up”
I see, they’re debt collectors.
And they didn’t even flinch hearing she was a noble.
“I already paid you didn’t I?”
The girl yelled.
“You still haven’t paid the interest!”
“It’s five million up to today! Hurry up and pay up, bitch!!”
…. Well, it’s kinda shocking how clichéd this is.
They’re definitely swindlers, aren’t they.
“…. I don’t have that much money…”
Said the girl, holding back her tears.
“You can just work for the money?”
“Work at the Wame Kame and you can pay up in a year, you know?”
What’s a Wame Kame?
… Well, I’m sure it’s nothing decent.
“Wait. A loan with interest that big needs approval from the country or a noble”
Lady Demy fought back with the power of the law.
“Let’s see which House put their seal on it. You won’t mind if I examine the deed?”
“Tch, … what’re you blabberin about!”
“Outsiders should just go home!”
One of the men raised a chair.

[Ready]
“[Skill] — ‘Strike Bubble’ !!”

“Huwhaaaooff!!!”
The bubble stream I fired hit him right in the face.
“Looks like talk ends here”
Tapping the E:ID phone, I drew the hoodlums attention.
It’s my turn now.
“You want to fight? I’ll take you on”
“Bastard!!”
Hi raised his fist and sprung up at me.
Compared to the fake Marquis, he looks so slow a fly could’ve landed on him.
” ‘New Recruit’s Shin Guard’!! Equip!!”
[Ready … Equip!]
With extra leg strength, I quickly stepped aside and countered with bubbles.
“Damn you, using weird magic!”
The first hoodlum had revived and came at me.
Looks like I can’t win this unarmed.
I wanted some kind of weapon, but the ‘Knights’ sword’ but the damage of that is too big.
Ah, that’s right.
” ‘Frying pan”, Equip!”
[Equip!]
Using the newly-bought frying pan as a weapon, I hit him in the chest.
After a delayed sensation, the enemy crouched down holding his stomach.
“Where did you pull that weapon from!!”
Every time an item or another came flying, the hoodlums shrieked.
“You want more? The next souvenir is a big one!”
[ ‘Salamander Cannon’! Make it to equip!] «TN: sic»
I took out the SF cannon and pointed the barrel at them.
*EEK* they faltered.
“You haven’t seen the last of us!!”
They ran leaving those parting words behind.