Ore no Osananajimi wa Joshikousei de Yuusha

Translator: Kohi

Editor: Asada

My head hurts. In fact it’s not just my head, my whole body feels heavy. This feeling of listlessness is all encompassing. It feels as though I’ve just been made to run a long distance marathon in school, or something like that anyway.

Gathering my strength, I at last let out a long groan. “Ugghhhh”.

I’m in my bed. The bed in the house that the three of us live in- Myself, Princess Rose, and Mist.

It’s morning huh… Why do I feel so tired?

Ton Ton Ton Ton.

With a Rap-tap rhythm comes the sound of a kitchen knife chopping away at something. Seeing as Arina can’t cook, it must be Mist.

As I sit up I hear Mist’s cheerful voice call in. “Oh, Yuu-kun! Are you awake?”

Rubbing my blurry eyes, and gathering oxygen, I let out a yawn “Ahhhh-hhaaaaaa. Morning”.

It’s a gloomy, dim day. It looks like it might even rain. Mist is stood in the kitchen in a frilly apron, hard at work cooking breakfast.

Giddily I think to myself, Cooking in that get-up, she kind of looks kind of like she could be my wife… Wait, just what in the hell am I thinking!

Suddenly something about Mist comes to my attention. “Ho, hold on a second! Mist!”

“Huh?”

Mist spins around with a clueless expression on her face, but the small smile playing at the corner of her lips is telling. “What’s wrong?”.

Just beneath the turning and twisting pretty frills of her apron, her soft skin is showing bare. That girl’s antics again…

In other words, besides her apron, she’s not wearing a thing.

Mist stood in the kitchen like that, very nearly stark naked but for her frilly apron, playing the part of a newly wedded wife.

“That outfit is NOT going to do”.

“Eh? Whyyy? Doesn’t Yuu-kun like this sort of thing?”.

She sticks her tongue out at me before turning back to the kitchen.

Honestly? Well, I love it, but I can hardly say that out loud, can I. Shoving the truth to the back of my throat, I retort, “No no no no no. To wake up to this first thing in the morning? It’s not wholesome… Or how should I put this, it’s too stimulating, to the point it’s almost like a drug to a guy… You know? Anyway, just get some clothes on!”.

“Whaat? But why isn’t this ok? You like it, don’t you?”

“Why? Well for a start, Arina is here too, isn’t she”, I reason.

Thwack.

Mist’s previously steady knife work in the kitchen, in an instant, gets out of hand and stops with a loud thwack.

Did a pumpkin or, maybe something hard perhaps, just break into countless pieces?

Long moments drag by.

“Mist?” I call out. Nothing but silence. Something isn’t right.

I try calling out to her again. “Are you okay? You haven’t cut your hand or something, have you?”.

No sound, no movement, just stillness permeating the house.

After a long interval Mist finally turns around to face me, with a big smile on her face.

“Yeeah ♪, I’m okaaay ♪”.

“Umm, ok…”

“Breakfast will be ready soon. I made this by hand just for Yuu-kun, so be sure to eat a lot, ok? ♪”.

Hmm, she seems normal enough. A little excited about our new life here perhaps, but normal enough. She doesn’t seem to have hurt herself either. What the hell was that all about just a second ago?.

…New life? Wait. How long has it been since we started living here? If I remember correctly, Princess Rose arranged our accomodation,provided us with furniture… And then? Time is flying by.

Wait. What was I doing yesterday?

“Hey, Arina. What did we do yester-”.

I look over at the bed next to mine. Or rather, I look at the spot where Arina’s bed should be.

Arina is nowhere to be seen.

I would have assumed that she just woke up early to go out somewhere, but the bed itself is gone too.

“Huh? What the… Mist!”.

From the back, I can see the gentle protrusion of her delicate shoulder blades, and on each side, the straps of the apron that delicately cling to her small frame. Seeming to mistake my concern for impatience for breakfast, Mist’s care-free reply comes straight back. “I know I knooow. It won’t be long now, so just hold on a little longer ok?”. 

“No, what I mean is, Arina is gone!”.

When she doesn’t react, I continue. “It can’t be that she’s just gone out on some errand or something. I mean, her actual bed has vanished as well”.

Still Mist doesn’t react to the growing panic in my voice.

“I mean… Hey, what did we do yesterday? Since we started living here my memory has gotten patchy. Hey, Mist! What’s wrong with you, you okay?”

At last she spoke. “…Hey, Yuu-kun?”.

“Uh-huh?”, I press, with growing unease.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, a~~nymore! ♪”.

Uwa!? With a start I realise that Mist is suddenly sitting on my lap. Perhaps she was able to move so fast by turning into mist form, I don’t know, but more than that is the fact that she is now sitting on my lap, as butt naked as the day she was born.

She looks up at me and considers me for a moment, before saying by way of explanation, “Arina has returned to your world. Our life together begins today, Yuu-kun! ♪”. She smiles sweetly.

Arina, gone home!? She just left me here? Pfft.

“Do you honestly believe she would do something like that?”.

“Like what?”.

“It’s not like she would leave me here and go back to our world by herself, for no reason! If she left she would have said something, surely!”.

“She hates you now. But anyway, it’s just Arina, you don’t actually need her. You have me now”.

“It’s not about needing her or not. Look, I know you’re hiding something. You are, aren’t you!?”.

At that, Mist’s expression suddenly changes.

“Hey, Yuu-kun…”.

“…What!?”.

With the tip of her finger, Mist caresses my cheek, and then says, “Repeat after me, ok?” Arina isn’t here. There is only Mist”.

A long pause, then, “nor is Princess Rose here either. Only Mist. Horahora ♪, I said repeat after me, ok? Let’s do it again. Three, two, one~

“Arina isn’t here, Princess Rose isn’t here, there is only Mist. From today onwards, there is only Mist”.

That innocent smile… There’s something clearly not right with her. Maybe she’s being controlled by a bug again, or perhaps this is the doing of some new enemy? I have no clue, but no matter how you look at it this isn’t good.

“Look, Mist…”.

“Yes?”.

“I’ll ask you this once more. Where is Arina?”.

Mist purses her lips together and lowers her gaze”.

“Mist, I understand how you feel about me, I do. But this isn’t okay. If you’re not comfortable with the current situation between us all, we can talk about it and-”.

Suddenly Mist interjects. “We’ll start anew”.

“…What?”.

“Yuu-kun, this is our chance to start over, a fresh start”.

Saying this, Mist’s body begins to transform into a mist.

What the, this isn’t her usual mist! This is something more chemical… Like… It’s almost like some kind of… chemical weapon!?

This isn’t good.

I feel my senses slipping away.

“Goodnight~ Make sure you wake up again in time for breakfast, ok?”.

I feel her kiss my cheek.

“I love you, I really do. This time, surely, you’ll be a completely new Yuu-kun ♪”.
Just as I feel my consciousness fading completely, I think to myself. So that’s how it is… I’ve already lived through this situation countless times before…