Overturned Tower
Vol 2 Chapter 16: misplaced relationship
Russell could probably imagine what was going on at the time.
Delphinium, who was only sixteen years old, killed her favorite grandfather with her own hands with unshakable determination.
Before that, the ordinary life that was smooth sailing encountered sudden changes. Fall into the abyss without doing anything wrong.
"That was the most correct action I could do. But thinking about it now, I still feel regret and sadness."
Delphinium smiled helplessly: "If I were asked to choose again, after serious consideration, I'm afraid I would still do it.
"But that doesn't stop me from still suffering from it."
That is the "correct answer" approved by reason but rejected by emotion. Delphinium acts with that kind of rationality, yet the heart is still touched by sensibility.
It was a situation where everyone acted with love and tortured each other...until everyone completely broke down.
It's like trying to keep a machine running as before when a gear has become worn out and broken.
Although desperate, but not desperate to the limit.
So there is no way to hate, no way to be angry.
True sadness, love and killing intent are intertwined, but at the same time, there is absolutely no hatred or anger. Brewed in such a heart for a long time, "love to death" was born.
"...It really is only half a step away from the devil."
Russell was a little scared just listening to it.
Just listening to Delphinium's understatement, he felt the pain and despair.
Had it not been for Delphinium's strong mind and strong will, she would have degenerated into a demon long ago.
At this moment, when he looked at Delphinium's gentle and steady smile, Russell felt a little more about the weight of this smile in his heart.
…no wonder the delphinium's smile and words are always reassuring.
Because that is not a carefree and innocent smile. It is a complex smile that has experienced despair, abandoned a lot, and finally reached the other shore.
"So, how did you awaken the psionic power?"
Delphinium asked softly.
But Russell was silent.
That's not "don't want to say", but "don't know".
In fact, he himself doesn't know what his original desire is.
Compared with the origin of the inferior and the life of the delphinium, Russell's own pain seems so insignificant, whether it is in the past life or in this life.
In front of the delphinium, he felt ashamed for a moment—it was the hesitation caused by the unspeakable suffering.
"...Don't talk about it for now, is that okay?"
"it does not matter."
Delphinium, on the other hand, smiled tolerantly, and comforted in a low voice: "It doesn't matter whether you can't speak, or you can't speak, or your heart is hazy...it doesn't matter.
"When you want to speak, I will always be there. No matter when or where... This is my promise to you as your chief."
"...just sir?"
Russell couldn't help asking.
Hearing this, he always felt a little empty in his heart.
If you want to describe it, it should be a "cognitive gap".
I already have a lot of knowledge about Delphinium's past, but the other party still doesn't know anything about me—this gap in cognition creates a kind of gravitational potential energy between hearts. Just by looking at the delphinium, Russell would want to tell her something.
Seeing Russell who was restless, Delphinium squeezed his ears a little funny: "Otherwise?"
"I just think…"
"Thinking about how to pick me up?"
Delphinium smiled and asked straightforwardly.
As she spoke, she raised her left hand slightly: "I still hold this hand and don't want to let it go."
This made Russell's cheeks turn a little red, and he let go of Delphinium's hand like an electric shock.
But at this moment, Delphinium reached out to chase after him very naturally, and grabbed the back of his hand with his backhand.
Delphinium propped her cheek with her right hand, looking sideways with a smile on her face.
Her snow-white hair hung messily by her ears, making her look a little lazy.
"I didn't say no."
She leaned over and whispered in Russell's ear: "But have you thought about it? My love is poisonous... I once killed my favorite grandpa."
"I…"
Russell opened his mouth.
Delphinium chuckled, and loosened Russell's hand.
"You hesitated."
she affirmed.
"…Yes."
Russell took a deep breath and nodded slowly.
He did have a crush on Delphinium, but that was closer to the heat of the head after hearing the story.
But now that I have calmed down a little bit, I will find that it is just "like", or a little "pity" and "respect".
It's not even close to "love".
Not to mention putting in life and death.
"It's better to hesitate."
The corners of Delphinium's mouth rose slightly, and said with relief: "If you hesitate, it means you are thinking. You are rational about feelings, seriously... that's good.
"I don't want short-term relationships. Otherwise, I'd have a boyfriend when I was in school... It's a bit bragging to say it, but I actually think I'm pretty cute."
Russell nodded in agreement.
She is indeed a rare beauty. Just sitting outside, you will be accosted.
Even in terms of Russell's adopted aesthetics, it can be called beautiful and generous.
Otherwise, he would not be easily charmed by Delphinium.
To put it bluntly... If another person were to tell the story of the past, maybe Russell would only have pity, sadness and regret in his heart, and would never have such an impulse to "like".
As if aware of what Russell was thinking, Delphinium also said bluntly: "I also think you are very cute and suit my taste. That's why I told you these things.
"However, what I want...is a permanent covenant for a lifetime. If the relationship is based on marriage, we will know too little about each other. It is far from the appearance, ability, background, and appearance of personality alone. Not enough. The determination, seriousness, and responsibility required for this relationship are not something that can be promised with a single mouth during the first date."
"…what?"
Russell was stunned: "Is this a date?"
He thought it was just pure psychotherapy.
"You can understand it as yes, or you can understand it as no."
Delphinium came over and touched Russell's head, showing a gentle expression: "For some girls, just walking together is a date; for some girls, going out to eat and having fun together is just getting along."
"how about you?"
"I can do it. It depends on what you think."
She reached out and stroked her left breast, where the heart was.
Delphinium sighed helplessly: "Now that things are up to now, I don't dare to fall in love easily. Being in love with me is not a happy thing... I can't even imagine what kind of new love will be brewed in that kind of love." poison."
“…I know some girls too. But they are very secretive about their true criteria for choosing a partner, about their emotions and thoughts.”
Russell felt that he was not good at it: "You are not shy."
"Have they killed so many people and so many demons like me?"
Delphinium propped her face, smiled and said terrible words: "After deeply realizing my own ugliness and understanding my true heart... a girl's longing for fairy tales is over. What I need to seriously consider is The reality of the future. Not unreal dreams and fantasies.
"...In the end, I also want to live such an ordinary life, dreaming the dreams that girls should dream, and having unrealistic fantasies."
She drank the last sip of fruit tea, raised the cup and shook it at Russell, and then got up.
At this moment, the barbecue was finally served.
Delphinium first helped Russell bring chopsticks and plates, poured him a glass of lemonade, and helped him replace the hot milk with new ones.
Then she brought her own portion and distributed it to Russell's full dipping saucer: "I remember you like to eat non-spicy ones. So I brought you a portion of dry ingredients and sauces. tell me when."
"Ah, yes...thank you."
After Russell took it, he whispered: "I have a bit of a cat's tongue. I can't eat spicy or hot food."
He has a strange sense of dislocation.
For the first time, he experienced this feeling of "sit in the seat and don't move at all" when he went out to eat with other people.
It's like he's the one who's taken care of on the date, as the female side... and Delphinium is more like a calm, mature and active, reliable brother-like character.
When Delphinium was seated again ~www.readwn.com~ also helped Russell bring disposable napkins.
She pulled Russell over and helped Russell put on the napkin carefully. Prevent the juices from the barbecue from splashing on you and staining your clothes.
At that moment, Russell had some inexplicable and inexplicable touches.
After the delphinium sat down, he continued the previous topic and said with a light smile, "But how should I put it... Maybe poverty is also a disease. Just reading its case book, you know that dreams and fantasies are a kind of disease that is not good for the disease. No, no drink. It's like wine."
"I think... the world is the one that is really sick."
Russell whispered.
Delphinium stared at him steadily, then nodded slowly. And staggered his eyes, picked up the barbecue and put it on the hot barbecue plate.
"Yeah," she said softly, "I think so sometimes too.
"Friend after friend fell or died before me, and I protected innocent lives and took the lives of equally innocent people.
"Some people have tried their best just to live, while others are doing their best to destroy the lives of others. Some people have done nothing wrong, but they have to experience despair... Some people make many mistakes and it doesn't hurt.
"Some people have changed their faces like beasts since they were born; some people have been alive for a thousand years without aging.
"If it is said that the world is sick, I would feel relieved. After all, as long as it is a disease, there will be a day when it will be cured."
Delphinium helped Russell turn the barbecue, and whispered softly without looking back.
It was as if he was just talking to himself.
"... Rather, what I'm afraid of is that it is not sick. I am afraid that this world should be like this... Isn't that the deepest despair?"
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