Pain Fetish

It was as if the rich, bitter Alpha pheromones had finally found an outlet, rushing rampantly towards Fu Ge.

Qi Han’s crimson, moist eyes were filled with pleading and longing, and the young Beta looked at him for a moment before stepping inside the room.

“You’re in rut, aren’t you?”

Confusion flashed in the Alpha’s eyes.

Was he in rut?

He moved the tip of his nose to smell, but the large loss of pheromones had dulled his five senses, and he couldn’t smell himself.

He raised his hand again to press his festering glands. The delayed pain invaded his brain and he felt his hand getting wet with blood.

“Maybe I am,” Qi Han said honestly, his eyes dull and downcast, “I can’t quite feel it anymore…”

Fu Ge seemed to chuckle, “And what will it take to feel it?”

He took off the wide hospital gown that he had put on to go outside, leaving only a thin shirt, and took a step towards the Alpha in rut.

The soft shirt was clinging to the curves of his chest and waist, the almost transparent fabric wrapping around his slender body.

It was swaying as if splashed milk was sliding over the white, tender skin. Fu Ge’s own special scent mixed with the smell of bellflowers, making Qi Han dizzy when he looked at him.

“Can you feel it like this?”

His fingers seemed to slide across the bridge of Qi Han’s nose as he murmured in a low voice, “Or do you want me to get closer?”

The Alpha’s breathing suddenly hitched; his heart beat violently, and at the same time boiling blood rushed into his brain. He looked at the Beta as if he wanted to swallow him, and his two arms that strained in endurance until the blue veins almost burst seemed to be ready to tear his lover to pieces.

But the vicious dog in rut was now a good dog, obedient to the core, for its master had not given it permission to go wild.

“Is gege… here to comfort me?” He couldn’t help asking.

“How do you want me to comfort you?”

Fu Ge leaned over, and the wide opened collar revealed the softness of his body, the light blush on his skin fraying the Alpha’s nerves.

No one knew better than Qi Han how wonderful it tasted, for he had begged Fu Ge to let him taste it too many times when he was awakened by nightmares at the age of eighteen.

“Will this be comfortable, Ah Han?”

“Xiao Ge… Xiao Ge…” The familiar name moved him so much that he whimpered and begged for his master’s comfort, “Hold me… I want you to coax…”

“Okay.”

Fu Ge stood in front of him and embraced him with open arms. The Alpha’s hot face finally touched his lover’s body, and at that moment, both his soul and his body were trembling.

He wanted Fu Ge so much.

It was the only love he had ever known, the only lover who had ever soothed him during the countless painful and desperate ruts, the Beta he had been dreaming of for years, the one he had finally gotten.

The Alpha cried, sobbing, “Gege… I miss you so much…”

Fu Ge said “hmm” and stuck his fingers into the hair at the back of Qi Han’s head, rubbing twice as if taming a dog.

Qi Han immediately let out a comfortable purr, closed his eyes to kiss Fu Ge’s pelvis and abdomen, scorching kisses spreading all the way up to his chest. “Baby… is so good….”

Soft palms stroked his head. Fu Ge said, “Haven’t I always been good, allowing you to take what you wanted?”

Qi Han’s hand reached into his shirt and touched him, wanting to dominate him and rub him into his skin; but subconsciously he felt guilty, “No… you weren’t good, you hated me…”

In the relationship between the two, it seemed to be Fu Ge who was good and tame, meek and submissive, but in reality it was Qi Han, and the young Beta always loved and hated distinctly and held the initiative.

When Fu Ge loved him, he was the cutest, most clingy bird. When Fu Ge hated him, he was the murderous falcon without mercy.

“How can I hate you… I love you the most…”

He said it softly, sitting on Qi Han’s lap, allowing Qi Han to hug him, kiss his neck and behind his ears.

“Is it uncomfortable? I will help you.”

He rubbed the side of Qi Han’s face, staring into his eyes, opening his clothes to be played with as he whispered something softly.

“I used to think that we’re the luckiest couple of lovers. Starting a family at eighteen, me being a Beta but being marked for life, we will definitely live happily ever after.”

Fu Ge cupped Qi Han’s face, looking at him with bottomless eyes, his gentle voice soft and tender, “It doesn’t matter if we don’t have parents, we’re each other’s family, we can adopt a baby if you want it too.”

“I’ll teach him to draw, you’ll teach him to play ball. In the spring I’ll bake cakes and wait in the courtyard to wipe your sweat. In the winter we’ll gather around the warm fireplace and listen to those nonsensical stories. The light will be dim and we’ll kiss quietly behind the baby’s back.”

Qi Han stopped moving; his mind was full of pictures described by Fu Ge, flashing scene by scene. The longing and attachment in his eyes were too strong to hide, his confused mind unable to even distinguish fantasy from reality.

Fu Ge smiled gently and kissed him on the forehead, “I know you’re afraid of needles, and you get cranky and out of control when you’re in rut, but that’s okay.”

“I’ll put away all the sharp things in the house to keep them out of your sight. Even if it means taking painkillers, using Rush and getting myself drunk, I’ll still try my best to make sure you get through every rut period unharmed.”

Completely lost in hearing this, the Alpha felt his heart tremble. He leaned to kiss Fu Ge’s lips with tears in his eyes.

Just before their lips met, Fu Ge’s voice cooled abruptly, “It’s a pity that all this has been ruined by you.”

“President Qi,” he raised his eyes mockingly, like a cat that had successfully played with a mouse: “What are you still expecting so pitifully?”

As if a ringing bell split his mind, startling him awake, Qi Han’s gaze suddenly cleared up, and trickles of tears flowed from his bloodshot eyes.

Fu Ge watched coldly, only feeling extremely happy.

“What are you crying for,” he wiped those tears and stuck another knife in Qi Han’s heart, “Ah Han, if it wasn’t for those fourteen days, you would have had everything you wanted.”

“Gege… I…” He couldn’t speak, he just felt cold, his heart along with his whole body pierced by remorse.

“You… you didn’t come to comfort me… did you?”

“Comfort you?”

As if he had heard some great joke, Fu Ge wiped his naked shoulder stained with a little bit of wetness.

“I wish you were worse than dead.”

The Alpha smiled stiffly, “Yeah… what else was I expecting…”

Whether it was cake or comfort, “Happy birthday” or “does it hurt to extract pheromones,” Fu Ge would not give it to him.

Everything that was within reach of the eighteen-year-old Mr. Bear Cub was destroyed by him, and all that was left for the twenty-three-year-old Qi Han was drained glands, a lover who wanted to stab him to death, and the debt that could never be repaid.

Completely exhausted, he gritted his teeth and set the man on the floor, nearly falling over as he rose to leave the chair.

Fu Ge stuck his fingernails into his palms, clenched his teeth and stood still, his beautiful eyes like snakes and scorpions.

“Why don’t you do it anymore? Didn’t you want it? Isn’t that what President Qi likes best?”

He took off his shirt and stood naked in front of Qi Han. As long as he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help thinking of everything that had been inflicted on him in those fourteen days. Underneath the shell of anger was the never-ending hatred and fear.

Qi Han stood up, defending himself weakly: “I didn’t mean… I wouldn’t do it, you’re still healing inside… I just wanted you to hug me… “

He stiffly moved his fingers, knowing full well: “Besides, even if it heals well… gege won’t want to do it with me…”

Fu Ge sneered, “Is my wish so important? Who are you showing this hypocritical look to?”

He took a step forward, showing Qi Han the light bruises from their intimacy that still remained on his neck and waist, and asked, “Haven’t you done it, huh?”

“Lying to me, using me, torturing me, humiliating me, abusing me! Isn’t that what you did? Didn’t you take pleasure in being high above! Come on! What kind of good guy are you pretending to be now!”

With a sharp tug, everything on the table was overturned by Fu Ge. Qi Han’s birthday cake with eighteen candles fell upside down on the floor, and the lotus lamp singing the birthday song was also smashed.

Now he could no longer hear anyone say “happy birthday” to him.

The Alpha watched all this in silence, stunned for a long time, and finally moved and walked up to Fu Ge, trembling, holding out his hand.

Fu Ge backed away instinctively and closed his eyes in fear.

Qi Han’s movements stopped. He blinked and carefully helped Fu Ge put on his clothes, never touching him for a moment from beginning to end.

“Go back to sleep, it’s late, you have to have an infusion tomorrow.”

As Qi Han said that, he picked up the sketch book he had hidden under the table. In one afternoon he had flipped through Fu Ge’s more than two years of drawings dozens of times. As he walked to the door, he murmured, “You want my life, wait a little… when you… get well, I’ll give it to you… what gege wants, I will give it all.”

“Stop.”

The man behind him suddenly called him. Qi Han’s footsteps paused, and his heart, riddled with holes, still ignited with the last glimmer of hope.

Was gege not really able to bear the thought of him dying?

But he turned around only to see the young Beta holding out his hand towards him, “Give me back the sketch book, you don’t deserve to see it.”

“……”

Qi Han lowered his eyes with a bitter smile and wrapped his arms around the sketch book. It was the only thing that could accompany him through his rut period.

“It’s painted for me.” He tried to fight for himself.

Fu Ge said, “It’s painted for Mr. Bear Cub.”

Qi Han choked and took a step back, “But I am Mr. Bear Cub…”

“You weren’t for a long time!”

Fu Ge snatched the sketch book and picked up the lighter Qi Han had used to light the candles. The dry old paper was instantly set aflame, the tongues of fire rushing upwards, engulfing the whole book in an instant.

Qi Han obviously didn’t expect him to do this. He lunged forward and reached to the fire without thinking. His fingers were about to touch the flames when Fu Ge kicked the album away.

His trembling hands stopped abruptly and Qi Han fell to his knees, staring dumbly at his feet. He didn’t even have much strength left to speak: “Gege, you’re going to destroy all the memories I have left… aren’t you… “

Fu Ge looked at the top of his head with cold eyes, his sluggish heart aching with raw pain, “Those are your memories, but for me, it’s a nightmare that reminds me every moment of how stupid I was.”

Qi Han let out a chuckle and raised his head, meeting Fu Ge’s eyes through the bright flames as if he finally realised, “Ah… so…”

In the blurred afterglow of his vision, the evidence of Fu Ge’s love for him for almost three years was obliterated in the not-so-large fire, along with his no longer beating heart.