Pain Fetish

Qi Han prayed for blessings all night on the mountain, saying those four wishes thousands of times, and none of them were related to himself.

He didn’t know if the snowy mountain had heard him, and if it heard him, whether it would bless him with his wishes coming true, but there was nothing else he could do.

In just twenty-three years, his life had reached the end of the road, mountain and river exhausted (with nowhere to go).

Before rushing back to the hotel, he sent two messages to Fu Ge but didn’t get a reply. Thinking that it was still early and Fu Ge hadn’t woken up, he bought some breakfast outside, but he didn’t expect to bump into the young Beta in the corridor on his way back.

Not only him, but also that girl.

They came out of the room, and their clothes were changed. The girl’s hand was still on Fu Ge’s shoulder, as if they were lovers who had spent a night tangled up in a hotel before leaving.

Qi Han, with unmistakable clarity, smelled the unfamiliar pheromones on his lover, from the female Alpha in front of him.

At that moment, his head went blank and his whole body went numb from head to toe.

Xiao Ge and her… did they do it?…

No Alpha can stand his mate being tainted by someone else. The uncontrollable anger rushed to Qi Han’s throat like a volcanic eruption, and all his blood poured into his head. Qi Han clenched his fists, his gasping breath horribly ragged. He was going to explode with anger.

At that moment, he almost wanted to rush up and strangle the girl to death, then drag Fu Ge into the bathroom and rinse him repeatedly with disinfectant, and finally break his legs and fill him with his own smell and stuff no matter what.

However, he did nothing from beginning to end.

He didn’t have any position, let alone any qualifications, he didn’t even dare to question or do anything, because he knew Fu Ge would not be on his side.

He just froze there in silence and asked in a dumb voice, “Have you eaten yet?”

The little Beta was startled for two or three seconds: “…what?”

Qi Han lowered his eyes, his heart riddled with holes, cut into bloody pieces and thrown into the mud like garbage. It hurt so much that he couldn’t breathe.

In fact, what he wanted to ask was, have you taken proper measures?…

Gege’s inner cavity hasn’t healed well yet, it will hurt, swell, and become infected and inflamed. I don’t even dare to touch it anymore. Did she cherish you properly?

But when the words were said, they became: “I’ve bought breakfast, do you want to eat some?”

Fu Ge was stunned for a moment, his gaze wandered and met Qi Han’s red eyes. He saw the girl’s hand on his shoulder, the door that had just been opened, and he almost instantly figured out Qi Han’s misunderstanding.

But he didn’t want to explain.

“No, we’re going out to eat.”

Qi Han blinked; his stinging eyes turned redder and redder until he could only lower his gaze again and squeeze out a smile: “Are you going to go out to play together today?”

Fu Ge: “Yes, tomorrow too.”

The hand holding the breakfast bag trembled several times. Qi Han hid it behind his back and raised his eyes with difficulty: “Okay… then have fun, gege.”

The girl could see that something was wrong between the two. She thought they were friends but a little strange, so she whispered an invitation, “Xiao Ge and I are going to look at the Eye of Genie, do you want to join us?”

The Eye of Genie, the four words rolled through Qi Han’s heart. He remembered that this was a trip planned by him and Fu Ge. For this, he also bought a drone for aerial photography.

But now all of this belonged to someone else.

Qi Han lowered his eyes and smiled, “No, you guys have fun, later… I’ll go over and take pictures for you, okay?”

It was ridiculous; it was obviously Fu Ge who was “cheating”, but Qi Han was like a third party who wanted to intervene in other people’s feelings. Even in this embarrassing way, he wanted to take a closer look at his lover.

The young Beta stared at him silently. A lot of emotions flashed in his eyes, and finally he just said, “Come whenever you want.”

He didn’t stay a second longer, took the girl and left without a glance back.

The narrow corridor was divided into bright and dark sections by the light falling through the window. Fu Ge and the girl walked into the bright morning light without nostalgia, while Qi Han was once again left in the dark corner.

He looked at the back of his lover slowly disappearing from his sight and wanted to ask: Isn’t this gege’s honeymoon for me… Aren’t you my lover?…

I only have twenty-six days, you have already been with her, so how many more days can be left for me…

Fu Ge almost fled from the hotel.

He walked quickly, his disordered mind like torrential rain, and he barely managed to stabilise his mood when he got into a taxi.

The girl looked at him quietly and finally asked about Qi Han: “That person just now… seems to be very sad. What happened to you two?”

Fu Ge didn’t know how to answer her, so he turned his head and looked into the girl’s eyes.

The irises of her eyes were blue, brighter and clearer than Lake Wusehai. Fu Ge would be forever grateful to her for accompanying him as a friend during these few days.

For he was on the verge of not being able to hold on alone.

This place was full of shadows of the time he and Qi Han had loved each other, and he remembered every detail of their time together with the knowledge that before long he would be thrust into eternal hell.

Memories were like swords, and Litang was his execution ground.

How sweet the eight months of love were, how painful the fourteen days of execution would be.

“I’m… hurting him,” Fu Ge said.

The girl was a little confused, and just said, “He looks like he’s in pain.”

Fu Ge looked away. “Yes.”

He knew too well how painful the misunderstanding just now was to Qi Han. It was not an exaggeration to describe it as cutting out his heart and sawing his bones.

The girl suddenly asked, “Do you hurt too?”

Fu Ge looked out the window for a long time, then suddenly smiled bitterly, “It hurts, ah…”

It took Qi Han nearly an hour to sort out his emotions and go to meet with them. It was already nine o’clock in the morning when he arrived at the Eye of Genie.

At an altitude of 4,500 metres above sea level, there was a reservoir with a diameter of tens of metres on Mount Genie, clear and mysterious like the tears of the gods dripping on the earth. This was the Eye of Genie, the holy place for the young couples to visit.

Unfortunately, Qi Han had passed here three times, each time alone.

The first time was when he was dying of allergy; the second time was to pray all night; and the third time was now when he wanted to pick up his lover and take him back.

But he didn’t even dare to get closer, for fear of annoying Fu Ge.

He stood under a tree two or three hundred metres away, watching from a distance through the camera as Fu Ge and the girl chatted while wandering around the pond, occasionally making some funny gestures.

The smile on Fu Ge’s face was very light but comfortable, not as depressed as when he was with Qi Han, as if his throat was choked and he couldn’t breathe.

“Is it only today that you have the most fun?…” Qi Han looked at the photos and rubbed the shallow smile on Fu Ge’s face, his heart aching as if cut by a knife.

He raised the camera behind his back, held it high, turned his head, and adjusted the angle for a long time before getting himself in the same frame as Fu Ge in the distance, without the girl interfering.

He pressed the shutter, transferred the photo to the phone and saved it in the photo album prepared for Fu Ge.

He looked at it tenderly for a long time, and carefully wrote a note—

Litang, early winter, on the fourth day of our honeymoon, Xiao Ge and I watched the Eye of Genie together. He was very happy.

This was the first photo of them together on their honeymoon, and Qi Han stole it.

Scrolling further, there were also other bits and pieces, some true and some false. He had learned to seamlessly deceive himself.

The first photo was of leftover barley candy. The note said: There were walnuts in the candy. I ate it by accident, and Xiao Ge took the initiative to kiss me.

The second photo was the sweet milk tea in the restaurant. The note said: I said the wrong thing and made Xiao Ge sad, but he quickly forgave me.

The third photo was the khata he bought himself in the souvenir shop. The note said: The khata that Xiao Ge won for me in the horse race. He is always so dazzling.

The fourth photo was the IV stand at the hospital. The note was: Allergic to walnuts. He accompanied me for an infusion. I want to see him tomorrow.

The fifth photo was Mount Genie the night he prayed for blessings. The note was: On the third day of my honeymoon, I made four wishes. In fact, there is one wish I didn’t dare to say – I want him to stay with me tomorrow.

Obviously, this wish did not come true.

Qi Han closed his eyes and pressed the photo to his eyelids, saying very lightly: “It’s okay, I know gege is tired and can’t bear it anymore. I won’t force gege.”

Acting was very tiring, and every minute and every second of being with him was unbearable. He knew that Fu Ge was exhausted, so he no longer insisted on being together.

He could use fake photos to make up a honeymoon for himself.

The phone dinged twice, and Qi Han saw that it was the profile of the female Alpha sent to him by a subordinate.

He had heard Fu Ge call her by her name, and he took pictures of her just now. Most Tibetans who could speak Chinese fluently worked as tour guides. Combining these three points, it was not difficult for Qi Han to find her information.

All her social connections, her biography and even the records of awards and punishments from her school days were described in detail in the document, and Qi Han read it very carefully, analysing it word by word.

Both parents were alive and well, and there was a younger brother, so she should be very family-oriented.

The family had a lot of cattle and sheep, and the job was stable, so she should not let her mate suffer.

Her grades were good, she was smart, and her physical fitness was excellent. She had been waiting for Fu Ge for so many years… It showed that she was very loving and should not make Fu Ge wronged.

“Pretty good… pretty good in all respects…”

Qi Han smiled and switched off the phone, muttering these words. His throat was bitter, his moist eyes were dried by the wind, and his heart was throbbing with pain.

He thought that at least one wish was about to come true.

My Little Song may have a very good lover.

This lover just appeared too soon, why couldn’t she have waited for me to finish my honeymoon?

If they were the most ordinary and normal couple, if Fu Ge still had a little bit of love left for him, then he would swear not to let anyone touch his mate, not even have an extra look.

Unfortunately, they weren’t.

He didn’t have more than a few days left to live, but Fu Ge’s life was about to start over. He just wanted the little Beta to live well; it didn’t matter what happened to him.

Qi Han bought the ticket for the earliest flight back to the capital and sent a screenshot to Fu Ge. The  little Beta didn’t look at his phone, still chatting with the girl.

The Alpha looked at them in a daze for a long time, lowered his head and finished editing his farewell words carefully.

The wind blowing from the top of the mountain was so cold that it stung his bones, and a huge hole opened up in his heart, his blood and flesh rotting into a puddle.

[Gege, this is my ticket to go back tonight. Everything here is arranged for you. Zhuo Ma is a very nice girl, you guys have fun, I won’t bother you.]

[Your inner cavity is still healing, remember… to make her wear a condom…]

I used a lot of pheromones and only made you get better a little, please, gege, don’t let her hurt you…