Payback

Drr. Crash. 

The pile of files next to me fell to the floor as I stood up. However, I couldn’t hear a thing in my ears. Strangely, my heart started beating fast. The black eyes staring at me indifferently made me feel as if they knew everything about me. I held my breath for a moment like a fool, even though my rationality came back.

It was funny, but terrifying. I had been living casually for five years, but deep down, I may have been filled with darkness, with a sense of guilt. The more I pushed my desires away, the more I suppressed my emotions, the more I overworked my body, the more I tried to feel okay, the greater the darkness may have grown. Soon, a familiar calmness subsided everything, but the fear I felt at that moment did not easily disappear from my heart.

“Honestly, I don’t believe it.”

Finding the answer in my silence, he spoke, squinting his eyes slightly. 

“The death of your family was so great for you that it changed everything about you.”

“… No.”

“…”

“It wasn’t that.”

I explained in a calm voice.

“It was something else.”

I thought the next question would be ‘then what?’, but he turned his eyes towards the TV instead. In his hand was a remote control. As he changed modes as if he was adjusting something on the TV, he spoke.

“I called you here to watch a movie, but also to give you a small reward.” 

Perhaps because he had switched to the desired screen, he put down the remote and asked with a smile he originally had on his face.

“I heard you took a picture with Photographer Lee at XX Studio?”

Who did you hear it from? Chief Park’s face immediately came to mind, but I turned my attention to what he was saying.

“I don’t know how you persuaded Photographer Lee, but everyone at Dream headquarters was surprised.” 

That’s why I decided to take nude photos in return. I thought that it would be bothersome if I explained the reason, so I looked at him silently and asked a question.

“So what’s the reward?”

A screen appeared on the TV as soon as I asked that question. A view of a small room taken by a camera fixed to one side of the ceiling. The moment I saw it, I frowned because it was me in the room. I was also wearing the same clothes as now.

That was the room the manager had told me to wait before entering this room. As I turned my eyes away, he did not take his eyes off the screen and opened his mouth.

“I thought I would be expecting something interesting because you played around quite a bit in the past.” 

Contrary to his disappointment, he was still smiling. On the screen, I could hear my voice saying ‘get out’.

“Did you test me?”

I glared at him without hiding my feelings. He turned the screen quickly as if he were bored and glanced back at me.

“That’s right.” 

“With what rights?”

“Since I can’t get a refund, I should be able to see this much.”

There was nothing to respond to the shameless words of the man. As expected, I regretted that I chose the wrong opponent, but suddenly I thought this would not be the reward he was talking about. He said with his own mouth that it was going to be a reward, so it should at least be something that would surprise me rather than annoying me.

When I looked up, 30 minutes had passed and I was standing up on the TV screen. I could tell what I was trying to say by looking at the room on the stationary screen. If I had been filmed, the others would have been too. There may be surveillance cameras in other rooms besides that one. Then the question I had asked him earlier popped up. 

‘… How did he know?’

No one around me knew my past. Except for one.

“Did you film Myeongshin?”

When I asked him directly, he seemed to squint his eyes and soon curved his eyes and made a wide smile. 

“Well done.”

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[Your name is a pseudonym? Why did you use that name?]

The man asked, stroking Myeongshin’s thigh slowly. Myeongshin, who closed his eyes, contemplating whether he was drunk or if it was because of the touch, opened his mouth. 

[Mmmm… it’s nothing. It was the name of a person I used to know.]

[Someone you knew? It must have been someone you liked.]

Myeongshin, who was leaning on his opponent languidly, bowed his upper body and burst into laughter.

[Someone I liked? Hahaha~ Ah, I sure liked him. When I was very young. He looked really cool back then.] 

[How was he cool?]

[He was a thug who was in a motorcycle gang and borrowed money from a loan company after dropping out of high school.]

It was the same thing that came out of the madman’s mouth.

[The money he earned for his family was wasted on entertainment, he enjoyed fighting frequently, and brandishing knives while pretending to be cool. Thinking about it now, it’s really pathetic, but back then I was immature. I wonder why, at that time, he just looked strong and amazing. He was a strong-willed person. He wasn’t tall, but he never lost to guys who were taller than him. 

I felt the eyes staring at me sting with my skin, but I focused on the screen. The man was now resting his hand near the center of Myeongshin and asked more questions.

[Hmm, you must have followed him a lot. Because you liked him, didn’t you live together?]

Myeongshin twisted his body slightly as the man’s hand lightly touched the center.

[That’s right. We used to live together. He had been nice to me. Ah, stop asking and do it quickly.] 

Myeongshin excitedly twisted his waist, and brought his center of gravity to the man’s moving hands. The man smiled cutely at Myeongshin’s behavior and rubbed his bulging pants as he wanted.

[He was nice to you, so why did you break up? Perhaps you got rejected?]

The man giggled and whispered in Myeongshin’s ear as if playing a joke. It was a very small voice, but it managed to sound recorded, and it was clear that it was heard by Myeongshin. Although he still had his clothes on, he answered even when his face was heated by direct stimulation.

[No, I dumped him. To be honest, I ran away with his money. Ah, hurry up!] 

Myeongshin raised his voice as if he couldn’t stand it. The man skillfully pulled his pants with one hand and put his hand into the protruding underwear. When an excited moan came out of Myeongshin’s mouth, the man moved his rubbing hand in a hurry. In the meantime, he didn’t stop asking questions.

[Hmm, the money was stolen, but he never came back? He must have seen Yoohan on TV?]

Myeongshin’s groan, which sounded rough for a moment, suddenly stopped. And with an expressionless face, he grabbed the wrist of the man who was rubbing him. The atmosphere suddenly changed as if he became a different person. I narrowed my eyes and took a step forward. It was a look I had never seen five years ago. No, it was an expression he could never make. The man hardened like ice in his cold eyes staring at his opponent.

[Why do you keep asking?] 

[I was just curious… Ah!]

Myeongshin twisted the man’s hand and lifted it into the air. Unlike in the past when he was skinny, tendons sprouted from his arm, which was gripped by his muscles.

[Just curious? Just that?]

[Of course, that’s all.] 

The man’s physique was bigger, so it seemed like he could pull off Myeongshin if he used all his strength, but he didn’t and put a smile on his face.

[Actually, I was jealous. I wondered who’s the ex-boyfriend you were named after because he was cool.]

Myeongshin suddenly changed his expression again this time, just as he suddenly changed while looking at his opponent coldly while grabbing his wrist.

[You’re good at talking as always. But.] 

He let go of his wrist and instead placed a hand on the man’s cheek, pulling him in the face.

Afterwards, the voice that lowered like a whisper was hard to hear, but it seems to have been something like this.

‘I won’t forgive you next time.’

As the man nodded his head with a tense smile, Myeongshin pushed his shoulder down. And spread his legs, commanding.

[Suck it, it went down because of you.] 

The man entered between his legs without hesitation and bowed his head. Myeongshin soon returned to his original excited face, closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Then he moaned as he stroked the man’s head with his hand.

For a while, only the sound of a man sucking his genitals and Myeongshin’s harsh breathing flowed on the screen. For me, it was a scene that was boring and made me sleepy, but I didn’t complain. There must be a reason why the madman was letting the screen continue playing like that. Sure enough, Myeongshin, who was gradually out of breath, grabbed the man’s hair and muttered.

[Ah, suck it harder. Today, ha, I was annoyed because CEO Choi. That fucking bastard. It was lucky enough for him not to be penniless but he’s still so arrogant as to complain to the company about taking the picture. Ahh!]

He trembled as he spoke and let out his moans. Myeongshin didn’t let go of the hand holding the man’s head until the shaking stopped, but when his excitement subsided, he finally freed the man’s head. The man coughed for a moment, probably because it was difficult to breathe, and Myeongshin made an apologetic expression and stroked the man’s face. 

[As expected, you’re the best at this.]

At that, the man wiped his lips with the back of his hand, grinned and averted his eyes slightly. For a moment I thought he looked towards the camera but he immediately straightened his back and got up and sat down on the chair. He sat next to Myeongshin and pressed the button on the table and held a glass of wine. Perhaps he was really well-trained, he treated this situation casually and asked leisurely.

[CEO Choi was dismissed as manager?]

[I dismissed him. But it bothered me when he asked for some punk from somewhere.] 

As he frowned, he suddenly burst into laughter.

[Actually, it will be more painful if he takes the classes supported by the company.]

[What are you talking about?]

[Ah~ I planted a guy who listens to me well to step on the guy who CEO Choi is taking care of. Right, I told him to come here.]

As soon as he finished speaking, he heard a knock as if he had been waiting, and a notice was heard that a customer was waiting. Perhaps it was some kind of signal that the man pressed the button. After a while, the door opened and someone stepped into the room. And the screen stopped before his face was revealed. 

“That’s all for the reward.”

I returned to reality at the voice of the madman and took my eyes off the TV. I asked him the necessary questions first.

“When was that filmed?”

If it was after the manager called, it must have been today, maybe a little while ago, right? 

“While you are watching the movies.”

Could it be.. He made me watch the movies on purpose to dig up information from Myeongshin at that time and see how he reacted to the manager’s phone call? No, it was quite a coincidence. What if Myeongshin didn’t come here? The answer to the question is revealed in his following explanation.

“This is a place where Dream actors usually come to. In addition, strict advance reservations are required. Do you think I grabbed a share of this place for nothing?”

Suddenly, I remembered his words that this store has many uses. So that’s what he meant. To spy on the actors. The more I got to know, the more of a pain-in-the-ass this man seemed. I looked at the still screen again and opened my mouth. 

“Why did you stop there?”

The person entering that door might be the person Myeongshin called to step on me. Probably one of the people in the classes I was going to take. It was a question, but I didn’t ask because I didn’t know the reason. Since the reward was over, it meant that I had to give something in return to find out. The question was to ask what he wanted, and it came out of his mouth instead.

“Tell me who it is.”

Who is what? I frowned and looked at him, not knowing what he meant. Then he kindly added an explanation. 

“The one who topped you, I’m asking who he is.”

“…”

“If you tell me, I’ll show you the rest.”

“What are you going to do after finding that out?” 

He mumbled ‘I wonder’ and grinned.

“Shall I find him and blow his head off? To wipe his memory.”

What is he talking about? I stared at him for a long time, not understanding why he was so obsessed with this. Did he have other intentions? What was he aiming for? But nothing came to mind. In the meantime, he spoke slowly, as if he thought I was keeping silent because I was worried about something.

“Don’t worry. I won’t touch your head. I’ll let your memory slide.” 

The suspicion grew. What did he mean by pretending to be interested in me?

“Tell me. It’s easy.”

The soft, persuasive voice gave me goosebumps. I did not give in because of the tension and instead asked the question in order not to be suppressed by him.

“If it’s easy, you do it. Just go find the guy who topped you and blow his head off.” 

“Do you think there was someone who topped me?”

Then again. Without realizing it, I grumbled inwardly.

“Then go find all the ones you fucked.”

“I’m searching.” 

I raised my eyebrows thinking it was a joke, but soon realized it wasn’t. His eyes were not smiling again but there was a smirk on his lips. When I saw it, I got resistant and scoffed again.

“How many are you still looking for?”

“One person.”

“…” 

“Surprised?”

I was honestly surprised. If you really believe that he never tells jokes, it would really be surprising. However, the subsequent casual tone surprised me even more.

“Up till now, I’ve only embraced one guy. And it was only once.”

“…” 

It was surprising that I couldn’t respond right away, but on the other hand, I was wondering. Because it didn’t suit him. Judging by his words so far, it is clear that he had no objection to men. Rather, he talked about thrusting into people to an extent that I even started thinking he took pleasure in doing it with men frequently. Therefore, the word ‘once’ did not suit him.

He may not have had a promiscuous sex life, but he was the type to at least enjoy it when he pleases. It’s not just ‘once’. To be more precise, it was not suitable for him to think of someone enough to endure with ‘once’. My eyes naturally frowned because I had rarely gotten my sense of someone stronger than me wrong. And after a while, I opened my mouth to him who was watching as if my reaction was interesting.

“Originally, you didn’t have a preference for men.”

If all the other situations didn’t suit him, there could only be that one conclusion. That ‘once’ was a deviation from the norm. He agreed with my conclusion so quickly that I was discouraged. 

“That’s right.”

It was an easy answer, but after hearing it, a question arose. How attractive was the man for him to embrace him even though he didn’t have a preference for men? To the extent that he couldn’t forget him, so he kept looking for him. On the contrary, when I realized that this was a deeper pure love, I frowned again.

“It doesn’t suit you. Fell in love with someone so much that you couldn’t forget and keep looking for him…”

As I was talking, I suddenly realized. It was the opposite in this case. 

“You’re not looking for him because you fell for him.”

“Ah, that’s right.”

There was still a good-looking smile on his face, but the words from his mouth were terrifying.

“He pissed me off.” 

I didn’t know what happened, but I felt sorry for that person. If he gets caught, he’ll have to dig his grave that day. Isn’t that guy really stupid? Picking people and pissing them off. Then again, just looking at this man’s smiling face, you can’t tell if he’s a nutcase. If that’s the case, even if I knew it from the beginning, I might be a more foolish person.

I realized something strange while worrying about someone I didn’t know. If you don’t like men, why is he making a fuss about thrusting into me? Perhaps, even though he doesn’t desire men, he can do it to harass me. I felt even worse.

“Then work hard to find the one who pissed you off and fuck him. Don’t harass me.”

Just as I spat that out, wanting to end the conversation, I heard his characteristic languid voice. 

“He is him and you are you.”

“What?”

“Why are you acting like a fool all of a sudden? I’m saying you’re the second one. A man I think I can embrace.”

“…” 

“How could I harass you who is so precious.”

A kind and friendly voice. But at that voice, a chill ran down my spine. Without realizing it, I barely endured taking a step back. Then I just stared at the other party, but the smile disappeared and with an expressionless face, he added dryly.

“So you can’t hide anymore. I don’t make the same mistake twice.”