Payback

As part of class, I visited drama sets several times. I was just watching around like any other onlooker, but it was enough to get used to realizing that what I saw on TV was just the tip of the iceberg. Dozens of people and various filming equipment surround the actors seen on the monitor. 

I didn’t know in detail what role they played, but since there were so many, it seems that it took quite a while to prepare. In addition, I learned that even if they started filming, the actual acting time was much longer than the time on the screen because the same scenes would be shot repeatedly with different cameras. So, although the filming was scheduled for 5 o’clock, I thought it would be much later when Myeongshin was actually filmed, and I was right.

Myeongshin appeared in the quiet outdoor exhibition hall on a weekday afternoon when it was almost 6 o’clock, the time that I asked Hansoo to come. I was watching him from afar, starting with his makeup, when the phone rang.

I almost burst out laughing when I saw that it was Hansoo’s newly saved number. He had said he was going to quit completely, so it seemed that he hadn’t deleted my number yet. When I pressed the call button, I heard Hansoo’s voice.

[…I’m here.] 

Seeing that his voice was stiff, it seemed that he had seen the filming inside. He sounded annoyed that I deliberately called him to where the cameras were.

“Wait in the bathroom behind the annex.”

After that, I heard a voice saying something, but I cut the call off and turned off my phone. Then I moved and walked closer to where Myeongshin was with a drink in my hand and a card I had prepared in my pocket.

“Excuse me.”

After calling the nearby shooting staff, I pointed to Myeongshin.

“I’m a fan, can you please give him this?”

The staff took the feminine pink card along with the drink, thinking it was funny. Hiding in the corner of the building, I watched them approach Myeongshin. Myeongshin, who was getting his hair done after finishing his makeup, noticed the approaching steps and raised his head, and after a while, accepted it. He must have heard from the laughing staff that a male fan had sent it.

Even if he didn’t show it on the outside, I knew that these were words that would please Myeongshin. So of course, my expectation that he would look at the card first was right, as he unfolded the pink card in his hand. I turned around without watching what happened next. Because I already knew. His face must have been horribly contorted. The contents of the card must have been completely unexpected. 

— I have proof that you ruined my audition with the camera. If you don’t want this to spread on the Internet and be shamed, go to the bathroom behind the annex right now by yourself.

After the museum had already closed, the only thing left inside was the filming team. So no one came to the bathroom behind the annex far from the filming site. Except for Myeongshin walking in front of me. I followed him as he walked fast with a crumpled card in one hand. I walked at my own pace after seeing him disappear into the bathroom. Neither of the two will come out right away. One person must have a lot to say. Standing next to the open entrance, I could hear a loud voice resounding from the inside right away even if I didn’t listen closely.

“Fuck, the Internet you say? Yeah, put it up, bastard. I don’t know what evidence you have, but I’m not scared at all. Are you threatening me when you’re an idiot who can’t do anything in front of the camera? Fucking hell! Do you want to die?”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden? I’m waiting for someone here…” 

Hansoo, who was also agitated, blurted out the end of his words as if he remembered something. He must have vaguely noticed. Why did Myeongshin appear instead of me? When Hansoo stopped talking, Myeongshin’s swears grew louder.

“Son of a bitch, if you call me out like this one more time, I’ll send a knifed gangster, not a camera. Got it? Since we’ve been close to each other before, be grateful that I only ended things there. I thought you were an absurd guy when you accepted the casting, but you’re really acting up without knowing the subject. What kind of crazy director would cast an actor who can’t stand in front of the camera? It’s your fault for misunderstanding and accepting. Alright? I don’t know what evidence you have…”

“That… hyung really did that?”

I heard Hansoo’s stiff voice. 

“You set up a casting that didn’t even exist.”

There was a silence for a while, and Myeongshin spat out “fuck” in a lowered voice. That guy really got a lot of bad language, I recalled, as his threats continued.

“What did you just say? You’re asking if I really did it? What sort of evidence do you have to be spouting lies like that? You really want to die…”

But why did his ugly words sound so funny to me? I walked in while thinking. 

Tap, tap.

My footsteps rang loudly on the tiled bathroom floor. After a few steps, I saw Myeongshin with his back to me, but I passed him as if I was just using the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. And I turned on the faucet as if my purpose was to wash my hands.

Sshhh~

At the same time as the sound of the water flowing, I heard Myeongshin’s threats become quieter as he whispered to the other person. 

“If you don’t really want to die, don’t show up in front of… me…”

The sound completely disappeared as soon as the conversation faded. I felt a focused gaze on me as I washed my hands under running water with soap on my hands. I raised my head slowly on purpose. And in the mirror, my eyes met with the person who was looking at me from behind. It’s just for a short while, less than a second. But we could clearly see each other’s faces. No, I already knew him, so the other person must have confirmed it.

For a brief moment, astonishment and surprise spread through Myeongshin’s eyes. His eyes were dyed in darkness, as if the ink suddenly spread. And his pale face as if he had seen a ghost took a breath as soon as he confirmed that it was me. It was amazing that he recognized me right away. Have I not changed that much? I wanted to see more, but unfortunately his head turned away.

Staring at him in the mirror, I turned off the noisy running faucet. In the silence as if no one was present, time stopped. As I slowly straightened my back and stared into the mirror, Myeongshin had turned around completely, with the sound of tapping footsteps. Then, he hurriedly left the bathroom. Myeongshin disappeared, exposing his embarrassment, but the sound of his footsteps echoed inside for a while. 

“He must have really done something wrong.”

When I turned around wiping my hands with a paper towel at Hansoo’s voice, he pointed to the entrance where Myeongshin disappeared.

“Lf gjc jkjs ilxf atja jr rbbc jr tf rjk sbe.”

P jirb aegcfv ws fsfr ab atf vbbgkjs. Qfii, la kjrc’a pera atja. Ktf wbcfs tf abbx ogbw wf wjs tjnf yffc j iba bo wbcfs obg Zsfbcurtlc ja atf alwf, yea la kjr cba j ylu vfji cbk. Lf vlvc’a tjnf ab gec jkjs lo tf atbeuta atf bcis kgbcu tf mbwwlaafv kjr atf wbcfs wjaafg. 

So the reason was simple. Maybe it was because the perception of the past was still there. As soon as he saw me, the feelings of the past that he was afraid of, enough to turn his head numb, would have risen without realizing it. Even if you think you’ve forgotten an experience, it’s bound to come up at some point. But when you meet again, the situation would have changed. I had time to organize the past fears I once felt, and now I’ve adjusted to the changed present. Well, it doesn’t matter. That way, it’s more fun.

“Did you call me for this? To let me know that Myeongshin hyung did it?”

It was not an angry voice. On the contrary, he sounded so calm that I speculated that my words might not work. Did the manager’s appeal to his emotions not work? Looks like I had no choice but to be honest. Feeling bitter, I opened my mouth calmly.

“That’s just a taste.” 

Hansoo frowned, knowing I was talking about Myeongshin.

“What do you mean a taste?”

“You said it yourself. That you didn’t want to do this anymore even if a fool like you had divine luck. And I asked if you wanted revenge like me.”

As if to confirm, he nodded slightly with an expression to show that he didn’t understand. I tilted my head to the side, paused for a moment, and asked. 

“Say it again. Do you really not want to do it even if you get lucky?”

“Why are you asking that…”

“There’s a director who wants a fool like you.”

Hansoo’s eyes grew big for a moment, but soon they were filled with distrust. 

“I didn’t come all this way to listen to jokes like that.”

“I didn’t come all the way here to play a joke on you.”

“…”

“What are you going to do?” 

“You must be kidding. Damn, now that I think about it, what Myeongshin hyung said was right. It’s like I didn’t even know the subject and got ahead of myself. What director would want an actor with a camera phobia?”

“That’s why I’m saying it’s lucky.”

However, Hansoo could not believe it yet and did not lift his frown.

“What the hell are you talking about…” 

“It’s a role that only you, who stiffens up in front of the camera, can do. So of course the director would want it, right?”

As if holding his breath, Hansoo stared at me without moving. His wavering eyes showed what was inside of him.

“That’s… how could there be such a role…”

“There is. Appearance of a foolish actor like you. It’s your job to shiver in front of the camera and expose your fear. Understand? The acting you want to do is the real you. Isn’t it interesting? Your shortcomings may give you a chance and maybe even overcome it. If you still don’t like this luck, you call the manager and say no. Because he is the one who’s bringing the director.” 

“!”

“But it’s up to you to say no, but then know that what you’re losing isn’t just a chance to act.”

After a while, Hansoo barely exhaled and whispered.

“What do you mean it’s not just a chance to act?” 

What else would there be? I answered the question.

“Revenge.”

Again, looking at the doorway where Myeongshin left, I added dryly.

“You’re missing out on a chance to get revenge.” 

“Do you think… I will get revenge?”

“No. I don’t think you’ll get revenge. Of course you don’t want to get revenge. But, you must be upset. Don’t even think about lying that you weren’t angry after hearing Myeongshin’s words a while ago.”

I looked at him and bit my lip.

“You don’t have to take revenge. I will do it for you.” 

“… W-why? Is it because perhaps, you need me to get your revenge?”

“Are you stupid? There’s no need for someone like you.”

Hansoo shut his mouth again and looked at me with complicated eyes. Sure, he wouldn’t understand. To be honest, there were parts that even I still didn’t understand. About the reason I was doing this.

“I just want to.” 

While muttering, I suddenly wondered if it was the so-called ‘fate’ or a bad coincidence. Whatever it was, it was unpleasant to me.

“You don’t like me very much. When we first met, you kept your distance so much that you didn’t even like to be called hyung.”

“It is still the same. I hate when you call me hyung.”

I looked into the eyes of the man who was surprised and did not understand, and let out a dry voice. 

“There’s something about you that I don’t like.”

“What is it?”

“… Name.”

Damn coincidence or fate. 

“You have the same name as my brother.”

———

My prediction that the manager would solve the problem in three days was correct. As I was walking from the darkened art museum to the subway, I got a phone call.

[PD Jung and I will go to Seoul early tomorrow.] 

As if he had finally persuaded him, there was excitement in his voice. He had left at dawn and arrived at some time, and PD Jung was busy with work, so he had to go back down after a day. I just replied with ‘yes, yes’ but I knew that the other person wanted to hear something different from me. It was only after the trivial report that the hesitant question which seemed difficult to put into words was heard.

[By the way… have you met Hansoo?]

I stopped walking slowly while looking at the phone and turned his body halfway. Hansoo, who had followed me silently from the museum, was looking down at the floor as if lost in thought. Then he felt something, raised his head and met my eyes.

“Yes.” 

When I answered the manager, I heard a question that did not hide the urgency this time.

[What did he say? Will he listen to your persuasion? Does he want to give it a try?]

Instead of telling him what he wanted, I took my phone from my ear and held it forward. When I suddenly stretched out my arms, Hansoo, surprised, looked at the phone and blinked.

“You want me to take it?” 

I nodded.

“Who is it?”

“Manager.”

He stiffened for a moment, but Hansoo slowly reached out his hand and picked up the phone. After a while, I heard a voice from him saying, ‘It’s Hansoo,’ and started walking back to the train station. Maybe it was because the phone call was long, so I had to wait a long time at the entrance of the train station before I could see Hansoo following me. It was rush hour, so the entrance was crowded with people coming and going. I was standing in the corner of the sidewalk that was messy so as not to get in the way, but he recognized me right away and approached me. 

“Tomorrow…”

Hansoo stopped and hesitated for a moment without making eye contact with me.

“I have an interview tomorrow.”

After finishing his words, the guy raised his gaze and added calmly. 

“I still can’t believe that I’d be so lucky, but I’m not going to run away.”

Is that so? Staring at his dry eyes, I reached out my hand for the phone. I didn’t want this to change the way he felt me. It was especially uncomfortable because I brought up my story for this job. Perhaps realizing what I meant, Hansoo quietly looked at me and handed me his phone.

“Thanks, Taemin hyung.”

I paused. I raised my eyes while gripping the phone halfway, but he smiled shyly. 

“Is that okay? I’m attaching ‘hyung’ to your stage name instead of your real name, so you won’t confuse it with your younger brother.”

“I still hate it.”

I let out a low breath and grabbed the phone as if it were stolen. However, despite my actions, the smile did not disappear from his lips.

“Yes. I’ll call you hyung after I get to know you a little more. For now, I’ll just say thank you. And… I’m sorry. For the things I said when you came to find me at school.” 

He spoke brightly with his original grin, but his voice was a little shaky. I knew it was hard to pretend that it’s okay, and act as if you’ve quickly forgotten something after turning your back on doing something you love. However, the boy spoke in a bright voice just like before. Thanking me while trying to keep a distance from me, he knew he had to speak lightly as if it was no big deal. However, any way of speaking was uncomfortable and unnecessary to me.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m doing this because Myeongshin was trying to screw you up later. I didn’t mean to help you because I liked you.”

“That’s why I’m thankful.”

“…” 

“If you had felt sorry for me because I had failed and wanted to help, I would have become more miserable and would not have done anything.”

He had a bittersweet smile on his lips and spoke calmly.

“So I will help you now. You’re taking my revenge, so I’ll help you with anything.”

“Mind your own business.” 

I coldly refused, but strangely, instead of being offended, he smiled softly and answered, “Yes.” Thanks to this, my face turned more ugly, but Hansoo didn’t mind and pointed to my cell phone.

“Oh, you just got a text message. It came in the middle of a phone call with the manager so I accidentally saw it.”

Before checking the cell phone that was handed to me, I heard Hansoo speak up first.

“I’m just asking, but it’s not a lover, is it?” 

What was he talking about, how could I have something like that?

— You’ve been wanting to see me all this time, haven’t you? Me too. I’m waiting for Lee Baekwon, come quickly-

If it wasn’t for the sender, I would have just deleted it, but no matter how much I looked at it, it was correct that the message was sent by the madman. Did he send this to piss me off? As I suspected this, there was one more message after that.

— Oh, stop doing that bad part-time job that’s stealing our time away- 

… So it was the boss. I couldn’t figure out how the hell he sent the message with the madman’s phone number, but I couldn’t help but frown when I thought of the boss believing that his plan was perfect. After looking down for a long time, Hansoo asked me.

“By the way, they said ‘waiting for Lee Baekwon’, did you borrow 200 won from that person?”

When I sharply raised my eyes, Hansoo flinched, but soon he couldn’t contain his curiosity and opened his mouth.

“Moreover, you work part-time? What does a ‘bad part-time job’’ mean? Could it be a hos…” 

“You should go now.”

As I cut off his astonished words and turned my body, a hesitant voice caught me.

“By the way, are you and your brother that close?”

Looking at him again, the people passing by remained like a slow still image. 

“No.”

A brief reply brought a look of wonder in his eyes.

“Really? But you said you didn’t like my name because I had the same name as your younger brother… Didn’t you mean that you didn’t like it because you were very close with him?”

“No.” 

When I repeated the same answer, Hansoo tilted his head.

“I thought it was a serious issue, but I guess not. How old is your brother?”

“… 3rd year of middle school.”

‘Wow, he’s young.’ I heard Hansoo exclaim, but I turned around. I walked a few steps, mixed with people and hid myself. And soon another thought took over in my head. The madman hadn’t come to Alice’s Labyrinth for the past few days. He didn’t come often, so it was not strange, but seeing the boss sending a message pretending to be him, it seemed like he was coming today. 

I was not happy to see him, but I had something else to say. I had to explain that I showed my manager the screenplay without telling him and even contacted PD Jung. At that moment, the phone vibrated.

[Don’t go to Alice’s Labyrinth]

This time it was actually from the madman.