Payback

t/n: I’ll remove the password lock on the whole novel for now… (wait was it even locked in the first place? i feel like i havent had to enter it) anyway gentle reminder not to mention or share on public social media!!

The shabby film company that I was called to at the end of the day was where Hansoo was interviewed. The top floor of the building smelled like it was about to crumble, and when I opened the door to the studio, I saw a small office with desks attached to it. Perhaps it was the company that was planning this movie, and when we entered the open door, a man in his early 40s who seemed to be PD Jung was talking to a woman. Talking about the casting with a serious expression and tone of voice, he did not notice even though I had entered. Instead, the manager and Hansoo, who had come in advance, welcomed me. 

“Did you finish class well?”

The manager was like a parent who sent his first child to elementary school. When I nodded my head, Hansoo came up to the side and lowered his voice and asked.

“But don’t you need Cheongshimhwan?”

Why would I need it? More importantly, I wondered if everything was resolved and returned to the original state, as the manager and Hansoo looked at each other as usual and chatted casually. 

“As expected, it’s because he has a strong heart.”

“Isn’t that right? When he was interviewed for the first time, I noticed that he didn’t even blink an eye like he had a heart of stone.”

“Right. His heart is stone, so I’m sure he’ll be more worried about what to eat for lunch than any audition.”

“Aye, well said. But would he really think about what to eat for lunch? Since his heart is stone? Taemin-ah, are you concerned…”

“…”

“… Are you mad?”

“Yes.”

They both flinched and turned their heads at the same time and coughed in vain. It was surprising to see the two of them going back to how they were in the past so quickly, but I did not miss Hansoo’s red eyes. There was also a little swelling. After looking into the eyes that seemed like they had been crying for a while, I turned my head to the manager. 

“Why did you ask me about the Cheongsimhwan?”

“Hm? That’s because you’re going to be tested today.”

“Who?”

“You.” 

“…”

“What? Didn’t I tell you? You will be tested too. I bragged a lot about you to PD Jung too~”

My face, which was hardening, was buried by the manager’s lively voice, and I heard words confirming the situation nearby.

“Ah, is that friend the genius actor who looks alright in real life, but is a killer in photoshoots?” 

Watching PD Jung turn around and approaching, I almost asked myself. Who?

———

In front of a pile of stuff piled up to the ceiling and covered with messy clothes, there was a desk and chair that were typically used only at school. There, PD Jung and the manager were sitting next to each other, and Hansoo and I were standing in front of him. Hansoo and I both had a short one-page script in their hands. We were given 20 minutes in advance to learn, but to be honest, I was a little appalled.

When I was reading the script in class, the instructor explained the script in advance and gave me simple instructions on how to read it, so the paper with nothing but lines and lines seemed like a blank piece of paper to me. On the contrary, there was nothing to be afraid of when being came at without knowing anything. The content of the lines was simply that one person described his daily routine. I’m trying to imagine the situation, but PD Jung announced the start. 

“Who wants to do it first? Your name is Hansoo right? The one with camera phobia.”

As Hansoo nodded his head with a stiff face, PD Jung sent a signal for him to try saying his lines. After reading the script for a moment, Hansoo took a small breath and raised his head. And he showed his true form where there were no cameras. The lines he had memorized in a short amount of time flowed out of his mouth. I heard a low and restrained voice in my ears, something I had no idea how to use to read the lines with.

The line that was just a list of daily routines turned into the sadness of someone who calmly convinces the other person that they were living a good life by suppressing the suffering. The insignificant content made the listener’s heart suffocate. The last explanation of what they ate for lunch, what they did at work, and that they missed their favorite show because the bus was late, seemed to make one tear up at any moment, but the story ended with a casual smile. Amazing. While admiring Hansoo’s ability up-close, I heard PD Jung’s impressions.

“It’s not that you can’t do it.” 

While I was surprised by the uninterested voice, he turned his eyes away, and Hansoo bowed his head saying thank you. I couldn’t believe he said something like that. I was stunned, but PD Jung pointed out to me.

“You, Lee Taemin, try it.”

Maybe it was because I had seen Hansoo’s amazing acting earlier, and I felt my mouth dry out. I closed my eyes for a moment, looking down at the script in my hand. I completely erased the Hansoo I had seen a while ago from my mind.

If you don’t know, just do it. What did it mean to list one’s daily routine? I widened my eyes, looking down at the script that I could not memorize, and began to say the lines. In a voice full of boredom, as if I were explaining work to someone. And when my acting was over, PD Jung also informed me of his impressions. 

“You’re pretty bad.”

Of course, when I heard this, I did not intend to bow down like Hansoo to greet him. I looked at him with an ‘Ah, is that so’ expression. But the strange thing was that the manager was next to him and smiled at PD Jung’s sentiments. When I changed my focus and looked at him, the manager who made eye contact with him cleared his throat with a ‘Hmmm’ and complimented me to PD Jung, raising his thumb.

“Still, it looks amazing on the screen.”

PD Jung ignored the compliment, of course. And he ordered Hansoo a second time. 

“Try the previous line one more time.”

“Shall I do the same thing?”

When Hansoo asked, PD Jung shrugged his shoulders and muttered ‘whatever you want,’ adding casually.

“In front of the camera this time instead.” 

In an instant, the blood drained from Hansoo’s face. Of course, he knew he would have to act in front of the camera, but he still seemed to feel fear. However, PD Jung’s next words were strange.

“I think it would be comfortable to do the same thing as before when comparing the shots.”

Then he turned and pulled out a small camcorder from among the piles of stuff behind him. He placed the camcorder on the desk with the red recording light lit and instructed.

“Try it.” 

The first or second audition in front of the camera was the complete opposite of the first. Hansoo repeated the same thing, who was stiffened pale and a stuttering voice couldn’t even come out with. PD Jung, who stopped recording after the acting was over, pulled the camcorder forward and looked at it for a long time as if to confirm the recording. He fast-forwarded and stopped at some point, glanced at Hansoo, and then checked the screen again. While waiting for him, the rest of the people kept silent, but PD Jung spoke up after a long time.

“Gb sbe xcbk ktja gbif la lr, gluta?”

Ktfgf kjr cb ulnfc ab ktbw atf defralbc kjr jrxfv, yea atf wjcjufg jcv P ibbxfv ja Ljcrbb ja atf rjwf alwf. Ljcrbb rkjiibkfv tlr rjilnj klat afcrlbc, klat tlr ojmf ralii qjif.

“… Tfr. P xcbk.” 

“Pa’r bcis j ofk mear. Ciatbeut la lr j reqqbgalcu gbif atja lr mibrf ab jc fzagj, atf ilcfr jgf j yla ibcu jcv atf mbcafca lr rswybilm, rb P tjv cb lcafcalbc bo mjralcu pera jcsybvs obg atja gbif.”

He mumbled, closed the camcorder’s screen and raised his head.

“Honestly, I like Lee Hansoo. Because you act more realistically than anyone else.”

Hansoo’s heart, who seemed to have stopped breathing, was pounding loudly. Either way, he was standing in front of the camera. And I thought that experience would help him alleviate his phobia. The manager, who had held his breath as much as Hansoo, asked PD Jung with a choking voice. 

“But is there a problem?”

PD Jung frowned slightly and rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Just as I said to CEO Choi, this film is at the level of an independent film. I stopped filming a few scenes and barely found an investor after a few months to begin filming again, but to be honest, there is no guarantee I can give to the actors, and the filming equipment is on a small scale. You might have to take care of your own meals and accommodation.”

He stopped talking and turned his eyes from the manager to Hansoo. 

“Are you still thinking about doing it?”

“… Yes.”

Hansoo, who barely spoke up, nodded his head quickly and added.

“Please let me do it. I really want to do it.” 

PD Jung smiled bitterly at the desperation of the trembling voice.

“It’s not as great as Hansoo thinks, I’m sorry.”

“That’s not it, PD Jung!”

The manager, who was tearing up next to him, grabbed PD Jung’s hand. 

“How can it not be great! It’s a movie made by that great PD Jung whose movies do the best at the broadcasting station, and receive a viewership rating of 30% by default, of course it’s amazing!”

“Whew, that’s for dramas. Now, even when I see the actors I worked with, they don’t even pretend to know me.”

PD Jung sighed deeply and continued his dismayed voice.

“It was only when I was filming dramas that I was known as a great person. Everyone bowed their heads to look good to me, and I only got compliments that my filming was unconditionally interesting. However, dramas and movies are different. I was arrogant because I got used to seeing the ratings for the next episode if I just put a moderate amount of comedy in each episode and add something that could make people intrigued. I didn’t know it was hard to put that much into a short film. Besides, I didn’t even know that the movie scene was such a difficult place. After all, what would I have known as a mere office worker? Thanks to that, after a few movies, I ended up having to sell my house.” 

The manager, who had been quietly listening, comforted him with a trembling voice at the last words.

“I also sold my house…”

PD Jung smiled and turned his head towards me.

“But how did you get it? My screenplay.” 

“I got it from someone I know.”

He closed his ‘hmm’ lips and tilted his head as if he didn’t understand.

“The scenario was only sent to investors a few months ago. Also, most of them were rejected and returned or sent directly to the trash, so I’m very curious as to who it is. Is it hard to say?”

I said yes, and he said something strange. 

“Actually, the revised scenario with a new role for Hansoo came out recently. There was only one investor whom it was sent to. No, he said he would find me and invest in me.”

Then he muttered a little, ‘Well, there was a condition.’ I asked him which investor he was thinking after a moment’s silence.

“May I ask who the investor is?”

He glanced up and opened his mouth indifferently. 

“If you keep a secret, I will tell you. I heard Dream didn’t know about it because he invested his personal money.”

Dream? The moment a strange feeling came up, I heard a familiar name.

“Dream’s Director Yoon. He is my investor.”

… Oh? Another situation was that Director Yoon and the madman were entangled. It was so coincidental that it was hard to ignore. What on earth did these two… Before I could dig up more information, I heard PD Jung’s voice. 

“Then, when Hansoo comes to Seoul next week, we will do the shoot. Also,”

He turned to me and added.

“Lee Taemin will also be filming at that time.”

“Yes?” 

“Why, you don’t want to shoot a movie where you can’t even get paid?”

Instead of answering, I looked at him for a moment and then opened my mouth slowly.

“You mean you’re going to give me the role?”

Yes, he nodded, pointed to the camcorder, and replied jokingly. 

“Because you look great on screen.”

Right next to him, the manager raised his thumb again and exclaimed.

“A hundred times better than the real thing!”

It’s a really bad compliment every time I hear it. PD Jung added with a smile. 

“Actually, Lee Taemin has a role that is just right for him. It’s a new supporting role, but one of the main characters’ friends is an office worker. It’s a very dry role, but somehow I keep overlapping the character with Lee Taemin. After listening to the script you had read a while ago, I was convinced.”

I looked down at the script in my hand. Was he actually trying to test me? At that time, PD Jung briefly explained the role.

“A friend who happens to commit suicide after going about his tasks nonchalantly as usual.”

——— 

I barely slept. The lines for the role I received were only a sheet long, including a few words where I talked to the main character. It’s a shorter role than Hansoo, but I couldn’t take my eyes off that short scene all night. However, it wasn’t the excitement that came from the opportunity to officially stand in front of the camera for the first time. The lines of my role, which I read in a boring tone, strangely did not leave my mind. If it wasn’t for the part-time job that the manager was talking about on the weekend, I might have read it over and over again.

I already put the lines in my head, but I was looking at the scenario until I went out and headed to the company. As I entered the small conference room I frequented, I was greeted by the manager who was yelling at the phone in anger.

“No, what is that?! Actor, I said actor! Do you know that the company he belongs to is Dream? But you’re saying that he has to do this kind of work? Even if he’s not the host, shouldn’t he be able to show his face at the very least if he’s going to be on stage? Is that too much to ask for?… What? You don’t have time to find someone else, so he just has to do it?!”

I wondered why he was so agitated, but I thought the call would be long, so I went back into the hallway. The reason for the manager’s agitation was revealed before the door closed. 

“But wearing a mascot suit and playing a role next to the host on stage! A mascot suit you say! Waving hands cutely too!”

I thought of it as I headed towards the vending machine in the central lobby. Was the manager angry because of the mascot suit or because of the cutely waving part? I strongly speculated that it was because of the latter, but then I met an unexpectedly familiar face in the lobby. The good-looking guy from class whom I hadn’t seen in a while because I didn’t come to class was pulling drinks from the vending machine. He already had three other drink cans in his arms.

Clang.

The can fell under the vending machine and the good-looking guy bent over to pick it up. At that moment, he noticed me and stiffened for a moment. Am I some kind of ghost? As I was being sarcastic, I remembered how hard I had beat him while using boxing as an excuse. Well, I guess it’s fine that he’d be a little shocked. 

“Taemin, are you doing well?”

Yes, I answered and pointed at the vending machine with my chin at him, who was still in front of the vending machine.

“Are you going to keep using it?”

“Oh, no. Use it.” 

As he stepped back, I moved to the spot and pulled the coins out of my pocket one by one.

Click, click, click…

As the coins entered one by one, a voice was heard from behind, as if he had been waiting.

“I will start filming a drama next month.” 

If it was a proud tone, I would have ignored it, but for some reason it was a low and calm voice, so I replied, ‘Is that so?’ When one of the red-lit menu buttons was pressed, a can fell with a thud. I bent over and put my hand through the exit, while he called me hesitatingly. I grabbed the can and turned around when I heard something unexpected.

“I really didn’t know.”

“What?”

“The fact that Hyungseok was deliberately harassing you under someone’s order.” 

It didn’t matter if his words were true or not. I just didn’t understand why he was talking to me like that.

“It doesn’t matter whether you knew or not.”

As I spat those words out as if it was bothersome, he smiled as if he was frustrated and explained.

“Just. I just wanted to make an excuse. Because it’s hard to pretend to be close like this when Hyungseok is there.” 

Then he turned around, waving his hand, and then turned his head again as if he remembered something.

“Really, even if you see us in class for a while, Hyungseok won’t bother you. I heard that Song Yoohan is desperate to find someone else and get rid of him, so he doesn’t care about you.”

He said it was good news, but it wasn’t for me.

“Who is Song Yoohan trying to find and get rid of?” 

“Ah, that’s…”

After looking around for a moment, he took a step closer to me and lowered his voice.

“Song Yoohan is after a person named Director Yoon in our company, but recently, there was a person who approached him and became very close to him. If there is a slight hint of temptation, he cuts them off and takes the role, who knows who he is, but he must be a great man.

“A man?” 

When asked in surprise, he nodded and whispered.

“Yes. A man. He has a great name too. Lee Baekwon.”

… Fuck, the madman.

There was only one thing floating around in my mind. 

The madman, that son of a bitch.

Having a preconceived idea was scary. Mr. Yoon and Mr. Han. The conclusion that they cannot be the same person because they have different surnames was established like a thick wall. However, the wall that was very strong was something that could be broken as easily as glass. But I just had to think of one possible solution. Whatever it was, that guy lied. It was this point that kept making me think that things did not match up. The fact that the madman was Director Yoon.

It had been a long time since I had been so angry that my whole body heated up. I was reminded of the old saying about how my head was about to explode. So I wasn’t listening to the good-looking guy. It was only after he called me a few times that I realized what the situation was.

“Taemin?” 

When I raised my eyes, he looked at me in wonder.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen a person who didn’t laugh after hearing that name.”

“…”

“Isn’t it funny?” 

“It’s not funny.”

“…”

The good-looking guy stiffened with his mouth slightly open, but it did not catch my eye because I was pissed off. In my mind, I wanted to run right away and avenge my anger on him for deceiving me by punching him. However, the habit of calming my temper for several years was pulling the brakes. First, I had to check to confirm. I tightened the hand holding the can and suppressed my anger.

“How did Song Yoohan know? That the person is close to Director Yoon.” 

When I changed the subject, he shrugged slightly.

“Not sure. I only heard a bit, but he said that he saw Director Yoon kissing a man himself. Because of that, he poked here and there, and in the room where Director Yoon went well… Oh, you must know where it is. Do you remember the bar we went to before?”

“…Alice’s Labyrinth.”

“Right. there. I guessed he must have gotten the name there. Alice’s Labyrinth is famous for its tight security, how did you find out… huh?” 

He stopped talking and looked at me in amazement.

“Come to think of it, I heard from Hyungseok that Taemin seems to be working at Alice’s Labyrinth…”

I stared at him without a word in reply. He kept silent as if expecting a response from me, and eventually asked directly as if he was curious.

“Do you know the person named Lee Baekwon?” 

“No.”

I answered briefly and emphasized again.

“I don’t know anyone whose name is Lee Baekwon.”

Then he nodded. 

“Then again, there is no way Director Yoon, who is thorough, would expose the identity of the person next to him so easily.”

The thorough Director Yoon, huh. Yeah, seeing that he deceived me like this, he must be thorough. No, I was the one who was stupid. Rather than praising him, let’s just say that I was an idiot. I clenched my teeth and clenched the cold can again, as the other person checked the time and frowned.

“Oh, I’ll have to get going.”

Speaking hastily, he held several cans to his chest. And he turned around and smiled. 

“When we meet just the two of us like this, let’s pretend to know each other sometimes.”

“Why?”

He stopped. His expression hardened as he turned around. But he soon realized that I was just asking out of curiosity and he smiled faintly.

“Just. Because I like Lee Taemin?” 

If so, I should be thanking him. Even if we weren’t close, it was convenient if there was a source who knew about the situation here. Still, I wanted to make sure. Strangely, I felt like I should give a small warning. I deliberately pushed aside the feeling that this situation was similar to when I was involved in Hansoo’s work.

“If it becomes known that you are talking to me, you may be in trouble later. Song Yoohan will hate me even more the way things are going.”

So there will be friction. I think he must have understood what I meant. Although, seeing that he hadn’t smiled yet, it seemed like he thought the friction wouldn’t be great. If I, who had just started acting, had conflicts with Song Myeongshin who had a strong backing, it would not seem like a big deal.

“If my position becomes difficult, I will take care of myself. Well, at that time, Taemin might pretend to not know me and I’ll be hurt.” 

And I stopped him who was about to say goodbye again.

“Is it worth it?”

What is? Hearing the question, I looked down at the can he was holding.

“The situation now. You changed your mind after 4 years and decided to get involved with men.” 

“Hey, Lee Taemin, if you’re trying to mock me…”

“It was a difficult decision, but I hope you won’t change your mind.”

He frowned at the unexpected support.

“Why would you say that?” 

“If there is a problem later, if you still have that mindset, I’ll think of helping you out.”

A problem? He asked, but I just muttered ‘this and that’. He still looked at me strangely, but it was clear in my eyes. He was associated with Song Myeongshin. He tried to somehow rise by getting a male sponsor, an idea which he compromised with after some difficulty. But there was no way Song Myeongshin, whom he thought would help him, would let him rise in popularity. Why would he let someone who was competing in the same field go? It was just like how the current Song Myeongshin wanted to ruin the president of his former agency just because he felt animosity.

And, of course, saying that he would help was just a bluff. Just as it seemed that the good-looking guy was greatly connected with Myeongshin, I only said that so I would be able to use it to my advantage. But, as if he took my words as courtesy greetings, he answered with a light smile.

“Okay. I’m walking down this path in agony, so I won’t back out if there’s any trouble. So please help me in the future.” 

He disappeared to the end of the hallway with loud footsteps. I turned around and headed to the manager’s office. Internally, my anger rose again.

Fuck, that madman.

I’ll make sure to catch the evidence and ensure he’s unable to lie.