Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Martha gulped, looking at the mysterious stick with reverence and fear. "What is that thing, anyway?"

"It's a meridian tracing tool for exposing people's Qi channels and Qiites patterns." Kiera explained, "That's its purpose.

Technically, it's an arbitrary stick of limestone preloaded with a regular dual cultivation technique, and fueled by Yang Qi stored within it."

"Lies!" Martha scoffed, her mood reversed, "Experts in the Sky Plane haven't figured out how to store Qi in objects in tens of millennia, but you're saying that you learned how to in two months?

Not only that, attaching a non-soul cultivation technique to it? Hah! I'm not sure what that thing is, but it's not what you're saying it is."

"New thing I've learned about the air benders...." The teen said, standing up and using the chalk to write on her hands, "They deny the truth as it's actively skull fucking them."

The cultivator gritted her teeth in humiliation. "What proof do you have?"

"Hmmmmmmm...." Kiera hummed, pretending to think, "Howa~bout... this.

I'll teach you how to waterfall your technique with this chalk. If you sploosh, it's proof that some pretty dank Yang Qi is stored in this sexy~chalk."

"What happens if I don't?" Martha asked weakly.

"That's irrelevant because you're still gonna writhe on the ground like a sexually oppressed worm." Kiera smirked, "However, if you don't have a rolling orgasm, I'll give you the Guided Arrow technique. Just for the lulz."

The cultivator's eyes widened in shock, and she gulped, hearing that she could get a prized technique from the Killian army. It was a game-changer!

With her intense passion and determination, she could overcome anything, even suppressing an orgasm. She had done it most of her life, the supposed problem, so she had faith that she could do it again.

"I accept." Martha said resolutely, "I'll learn waterfalling with you. And while I may moan, I won't have a rolling orgasm."

🟇Five minutes later🟇

BOOOOOOM! CRaaaaaACkKKkkKkK! BOOM! Boom! BOOM!

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Veronica yelled, avoiding trees as a Qi slash ripped through the earth, "Just how much pent up Elemental Qi did that lady have!?"

BOOM!

Dirt exploded in Jake's face as he ran for his life. "I don't know, but she has it, she's pissed off, and we can't kill her. So we need to run!"

"Keira!" Kylie yelled, "Why didn't you warn us this would happen!?"

"How the fuck was I supposed to know, lady!?" Keira snapped back from a boulder, "I haven't dual cultivated with Kazey! I know it would release energy, but I didn't know what would happen!"

"You haven't dual cultivated with Kaze!?" The wavy-haired brunette replied in shock.

"Nope, just normal, intimate sexytime!" The slang riddler smirked, "He doesn't need to dual cultivate to please me to the maximum extent.

Wait... why the hell am I telling you this!? Pay attention to what you're doing!

I mean, no, wait, don't pay attention and die. Let's talk more about me and Kazey's sex life!"
"Gah, this isn't the time!" Kylie yelled, seeing a pissed-off cultivator flying toward her at full speed.

Martha had an arrow pointed at the brunette and was only holding back to calm her bloodlust, ensuring she didn't die expressing herself. "You're lucky I'm forced to meditate before attacking!"

🟇3 Minutes 15 Seconds Before🟇

A cultivator wearing a tight bun and a tattered toga sat in the lotus position, wearing a stressed expression as the slang riddler watched her cultivating carefully. "Are... you going to use the chalk?"

"Pipe down and cultivate before I pretzel your intestines tighter than that bun on your head." Keira scoffed, "I don't know your technique and you're so bad at waterfalling that I'm having trouble reading the pattern."

Martha's eyes flashed with murder for a moment, but her emotions reversed when she realized what the teen was doing. "Wait, you're reading my technique!?"

"Well, yeah. You have a low-grade sky-grade technique that makes your [Qiites] pull Qi around like novice ice skater." The teen replied, "It's not easy learning this mess."

Low-grade!? This was a military-grade technique! It wasn't the best, but she was on her way to being a platoon leader!

"Look, lady." Keira scoffed, "If the air benders didn't horde techniques like jealous curmudgeons, you wouldn't be in the Mortal Plane picking up ants to be your meat shields. Would you?"

The cultivator shut down, realizing the teen's point. She was also frustrated with a system where people could work menial jobs for a century to get a sky-grade technique in the [Sky Plane].

They let the poor go mad with Qi sickness and gave low-grade earth techniques to disposable workers. It was a travesty, but that's how it was.

"Exactly, so just calm your tits and cultivate." Kiera sneered.

"I'm not going to--AhHHHhHHhhhHhh~!" Martha moaned, violently spasming as the teen hastily drew a simple line down the woman's spine.

"Breathing techniques use the Elemental Qi channels, making them unavailable for Yin Qi processing." The teen smirked, watching the woman twitching on the ground, "So you can't feel pleasure if you do it right.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut... if you're not cultivating correctly, you'll die of dehydration."

While the cabinet members giggled involuntarily, thinking it was a joke, the cultivator didn't! Her legs were soaking wet, and she hadn't even orgasmed!

If things continued as they were, all the water in her body would end up on the ground, and she'd die! There would be no death worse for a prude!

"H-How do you know this!?" Martha cried, "How did you know this would happen!?"

"Shoulda started with that, don't you think?" Kiera smirked derisively, "Yin Qi traps the impurities that Soul Qi flushes out of your system.

Sexual release breaks the impurities down, releases the Elemental Qi stored in the Yin Qi, and reopens the Elemental Qi channels.

Since you haven't even touched yourself for god knows how many decades, centuries, or... whatever, your Elemental Qi channels are clogged like a sumo's arteries.

It doesn't take a genius can spot the [symptoms] of dusty cunt syndrome when they're staring at a textbook case."

The cultivator cringed, and everyone else smiled wryly. They didn't even notice something was wrong with the woman's cultivation, so hearing that it didn't take a genius felt offensive!

"This Yang Qi chalk is processing that dusty Yin Qi and lighting up your pleasure channels like a New Year's firework show." Kiera smirked, "Then boom! Bang! Sploosh!

But, once~again, you can't sploosh if you're cultivating correctly. So I suggest you cultivate like your dignity depends on it--because it does."

Martha shuddered on the ground, trying to gain the courage to sit up. After a few deep breaths, she got up and pushed herself into the lotus position, revealing her soaked toga. She looked like she wet herself!

Everyone exploded in involuntary laughter, making the cultivator turn crimson in humiliation. She would rather get her teeth stomped in again than cultivate in her current state!

However, her heart pulsed, letting her know she was releasing bloodlust. When she opened her eyes from wincing, she saw the blue chalk, and her heart filled with terror.

She immediately drowned out the giggling and closed her eyes again, cultivating intently.

"Are you ready, juicy?" Kiera asked playfully.

"Yes." Martha said, gritting her teeth.

🟇2 Minutes Later, Present Time🟇

BOOOOOOM! BOOM! Boom! BOOM!

"How much Qi does she have!?" Veronica yelled, "This is absurd! Her power isn't even on the same level as it was yesterday!"

"No, it's not!" Kylie screamed, "But this isn't just an upgrade after her Qi channels opened up!

She can't have enough Qi for thirty attacks of this magnitude with a sky-grade technique; she'll die if she keeps this up! Kiera, we need to stop this!"

Just like Evalyn, the woman was releasing immense amounts of built-up energy. However, she didn't have Kaze to explain what was happening or guide her through it.

So she was just releasing the Qi violently to try to regain her equilibrium, all while fighting through the embarrassment.

"You think that we can stop this!?" Kiera yelled back, "You saw the water bender, didn't you!?

She looked like an anime villain who injected themselves with a demon blood syringe in desperation, fought the protag, lost, and then screamed after the L as mana turned them into a frag grenade!

She was like, ai, Ai, AI PAPI~! AhhHhhHhhHHhHhhHhHhhhHhhH! SPOOOOSH!

I swear, I saw blue light come out of her mouth and eyes and everything!"

CRAaaaaACkKkkK! BOOM!

"This isn't a joke, Kiera!" Sage yelled angrily, avoiding a falling tree, "Especially when you make it sound like you assaulted her!"

"Bitch, I drew a circle on her back for training." Kiera snapped, "I didn't make a shady deal to improve her power. So shut the hell up and keep running for your life, everyone else, exploit Sage's dire situation to regroup near me!"

The redhead scoffed angrily as the cultivator flew overhead, chasing her through the forest. Her bitterness reached an all-time high at the slang riddler used as bait.

Everyone else ran toward Kiera as requested. Once they were out of the way, the teen finally addressed the situation.

"MARTHA!" Kiera yelled, "EXERCISE FIN! SHOOT SMALL ARROWS INTO THE DISTANCE UNTIL YOU'RE COMFORTABLE AGAIN!"

Martha's body twitched, hearing the loathsome teen talk. She gritted her teeth and turned away from the embattled redhead, and created an arrow the size of a spear.

Whooooooooooooooosh!

Then another.

Whooooooooooooooosh!

And another.

And another.

Another.


Until--

"Son of a bitch." Kiera scoffed, seeing Martha sway in the air with a woozy expression. The teen hit a full sprint right before the cultivator fell from the sky lifelessly. "PRACTICE IS OVER! GO HOME!"

All the cabinet members shuddered in horror when the fiery teen got dead serious and sent them away. They all wondered what would come of the cultivator who crashed through the trees and fell silent.