Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Kiera looked at the massive mountain of death fish with a murderous gaze. Then she clasped her hands and looked to the sky. "Dear lord, please give me the strength to beat my man savagely.

He has ruined yet another sacred ground by turning it into a disgusting fish market, and I shan't allow it. However, I'm weak, lord, and need strength.

Please help me not to be tempted or swayed by cake, a butt squeeze, or any other charming sin you can think of.

May I have the strength to look into his vibrant green eyes and see a target for stabbing, not a wonderful and encapsulating galaxy of all things perfect and holy.

Give me clarity, so I can see this for what it is and not forget it the moment I see his face.

Allow me the will and fire to beat him savagely until the point of death before release. Amen!"

The cabinet members shuddered, hearing Kiera declare a deep-seated desire to murder her man. That's how they knew she was pissed off.

That fear multiplied when the person in question walked through a portal.

"Forgive me, loves." A hypnotic voice called out, walking into an area, "We needed these hideous creatures, and Evalyn's training has made that rather difficult.

Presented with a remarkable opportunity, I was forced to accept without delay. It honestly couldn't be helped."

"KAZEY!" Kiera cried with sparkling eyes, running to him and flying into his arms, "I knew that you wouldn't make our sanctuary into hellscape stew!"

"I'm glad you can see the value." He smiled, hugging her under the lifeless gazes of the previously-worried cabinet members.

However, a stunning reversal happened the next moment when the slang riddler smelled his clothing.

"Do I... smell floozy?" Kiera asked with trembling eyes, looking up at him, "Why do you smell like a low-grade, uncultivated clout prepper?

Oh, Lord. Please give me the strength to rain hellfire and brimstone if this man's been schmoozing the fish market."

"If your twisted vernacular is expressing a female human, I saved one from the ocean." Kaze smiled mockingly, "Then I dropped her off on the beach and came here not a moment between."

"So you didn't shmooze a flooze above the O town?" She asked with wide eyes.

Kaze rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Must you always find new ways of describing your hatred for other women? While it's a remarkable talent, it's uncouth."

Her eyes trembled, looking away. "But you didn't, right?"

"No, I didn't shmooze a flooze above the O town." He scoffed in annoyance.

"Eeeeeeeek!" Kiera squealed joyfully, "I knew you wouldn't shmooze a clout-prepping flooze above the O town and turn this sanctuary into a hellscape stew!"

Jake and Veronica looked at each other with lifeless, disbelieving expressions. Then they looked at the lake full of hundreds of massive death fish that went through Satan's equivalent of pocket monster evolutions.

If there were ever a scene befitting of a title [Hellscape Stew], it would be what they were looking at.

Despite that, the murderous teen purred against Kaze like a cuddly kitten, thanking him for not creating it, and he was patting her head lovingly as if it were only natural.
The scene was so psychotic and surreal that the cabinet members couldn't find words to express it. However, somehow, it made them all feel strangely jealous.

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"We survived... somehow." Chen groaned, into a large shipping yard on the pier, "It's been days, but we finally made it to base."

The shipping containers had been picked clean. Now, there were a ton of empty shipping containers that acted as temporary shelters for tens of thousands of soldiers.

Crux lay lazily on a shipping container, eating a honeybun with a cracked-out expression. It wasn't the good stuff, but it was enough to get her blood pumping after spending time in Lainwright.

"We're not in the clear yet...." Denzel said, avoiding the urge to look at the shadow cat, "We're [days] late getting this food here. Considering we only have enough for a hundred people, I doubt we're getting off easy."

They had large frame backpacks and duffle bags with food items collected throughout the city. However, such quantities were paltry when feeding over five thousand people.

"This is ridiculous." Moe said with a downcast expression, "While people have been training on a beach, we killed over two thousand zombies and survived two collapsing buildings. You'd think she'd give us a break."

"Look, it is what it is." Eric said dryly, "Now, let's go. We need to check in."

They nodded and walked into camp for the first time. While they expected it to be a lively place full of complaining people, it was the dead opposite.

"What the hell is this?" Chen scoffed angrily, "Everyone's sitting around in their swimsuits, and they're depressed? What type of bullshit is this?"

Most of the people training at the beech were huddled in gloomy, whispering groups. Everyone looked shaken to the core.

"Chen, calm down!" Jackson yelled, watching the Chinese man stomping to a group, "Remember that we don't know what they've been through!"

"Like surviving hordes of zombies all night?" Chen scoffed, reaching for a soldier to interrogate. However, Eric and Denzel grabbed him by the arms.

"W-What?" The brown-haired soldier jumped, crashing to the ground neurotically. Likewise, the men and women around him spread out, shaking in fear.

Chen's angry expression lifted instantly, seeing the look of horror and trauma written on the people's faces. "That fuck's wrong with you guys?"

One of the females from the beach reached out her shaky index finger.

The group turned in the direction she was pointing and froze. Behind a stack of containers was a massive pile of nightmare sea creatures.

"W-What the fuck is that thing!?" Denzel yelled, looking at a golden, scally fish with massive teeth, "I've seen just about every type of shark, but I've never seen that thing!"

"T-That's because it's not a shark...." Moe said in horror, "That's a tigerfish that's the size of a g-great white...."

"Wait, you know what that thing is!?" Jackson cried, trembling.

"Y-Yeah, it's supposed to be 100 pounds, not a thousand!" She replied, "These look like mutant fish, but they're just normal fish that are ten times the size!

Same for that Billfish, Bull Shark, and--WHAT!? That's a fucking electric eel!"

The group had separated a massive eel from the rest. It was eighty feet long and had the circumference of a drainage pipe kids got lost in during horror movies.

There were dozens of people working on cutting it up and processing it. Fires billowed in the distance with people preparing to grill the fish.

"Like, is it really electric?" Denzel asked in a daze.

"Hell yeah, it's electric!" Moe cried, "Something that size could kill a thousand swimmers at the beach!"

The group shuddered, hearing her words.

"Wait a minute... how did you catch these fish?" Chen asked, turning to the traumatized people to ask them what had happened. However, they had already gotten up and run away.

"You're not going to believe this shit." A man laughed, walking up with a group of people, "Those things ate eight of us, and a god showed up to save us."

"Don't be ridiculous, Adam." A brunette scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Emperor Lexicon of Immortal Skye saved two of our people and wiped out thousands of those things. He wasn't a god, but it was amazing."

"Not a god?" Adam scoffed, "A flying man radiated with blinding golden light that spread across the entire ocean, Carla, and you're saying that he's just a guy!?

Even if General Skye confirmed it was Emperor Lexicon, it wouldn't change the fact that he's a god."

Watching Kaze cultivate Soul Qi from thousands of mammoth fish over the ocean was nothing short of angelic. No one denied that.

Eric's team's jaws lowered, listening to the crazy man ranting. However--

"That was a technique." Another man rolled his eyes, "He's a bad motherfucker, that's for sure, but stop calling him a god. It's creepy as fuck."

"You mean that men can create a cyclone of blood and kill thousands of whale-sized sharks with it?" Adam scoffed, "If so, sign me up to learn how to do that."

The group fell silent, conflicted about what to say.

Their silence only intensified the bafflement Eric's team was experiencing! They couldn't believe that the arguing people didn't disagree about the details--only the interpretation!

"I'm just curious...." Jackson swallowed nervously, "Why do you all look fine? Did you experience something different than the people shaking on the ground?"

"Hmmm?" Carla hummed, looking at the groups of shaking people, "No, we saw the same thing.

Their reaction is understandable. We watched our people get eaten, and then the ocean lit up, showing us that thousands of those creatures were in the vicinity when the attack happened.

I don't think any of us will ever get into the ocean again. Some of us are just more traumatized than others."

"Deny it all you want, but the Immortal God is giving us strength." Adam said seriously, "Everyone who is talking about him is fine, everyone shaking on the ground is talking about fish. There can't be a coincidence."

Jackson looked at everyone with an excited expression. "Do you think that Emperor Lexicon could actually be a god?"

"Who gives a shit!" Chen groaned, dropping his 800-pound backpack on the ground, "Don't you get what's important here!?"

Everyone looked at the exasperated Chinese man.


"What?" Eric asked in bewilderment.

"WE DON'T NEED FOOD!" Chen lamented, dropping to his knees dramatically, "WE DID ALL OF THAT FOR NOTHING!"

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"Gah, this is the worst!" Evalyn groaned, laying on her military cot with a frustrated expression. "I only spread the rumor that Kaze was a god to give the soldiers something to talk and argue about other than the killer fish.

So why am I hot and bothered about it? Do I have a god fetish? Do I get off with people thinking my partner is a god? Do I think he's actually a god? His ego doesn't need any of this! GAH!"

The blonde rolled onto her stomach, gripping a pillow against her chest.

"Why are you making a big deal out of this?" Evalyn asked herself bitterly, "Just ask him to get you off. If you did earlier, you wouldn't be finding abstract reasons to want to sleep with him."