Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

SQUAAAAWK! SQUAAAAWK! HUOH!-HUOH!-HUOH! SQUAAAAWK!

A dozen eagle-sized seagulls crashed down on the short-haired brunette. "QI WALL!"

Rein threw up a weak barrier, but the overwhelming force crashing into it caused it to shatter.

"Storm Chamber!" Steve yelled, visualizing a blueprint for a technique she had never heard of. He waved his hand, and a viciously howling wind slammed into the seagulls, sending them flying.

​ Despite pushing them away, the wind stuck to each seagull like glue, wrapping a small vortex around them.

"Compress!" The Asian man yelled, clenching his fist.

SQUAAAAWK! SQUAAAAWK!

His action caused the seagulls to thrash around wildly as the visual wind condensed smaller and smaller and smaller until—

CReeeaaCkKkkKkK!

—their bones snapped into fragments.

It was a gruesome spectacle, but it didn't last long. From start to finish, the attack only lasted a couple of seconds.

"Combustion!" Steve yelled, reaching to the sky.

KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!

Seagulls preparing to attack burnt to a crisp abruptly, falling from the sky.

"Whoa! Chill… huuuuuuh… Romeo!" Larkin yelled, bursting through the door to the rooftop, "You're burning through Qi like reefer at a hippie fest! I get this is your girl, but don't croak."

Steve was surprised that the man would deduce something so nuanced. However, he looked down and learned that there was nothing nuanced about it. His meridians sucked Qi from the atmosphere erratically, usually a sign of Qi deprivation. "How…?"

Rein was equally confused. He had only released two attacks but was already showing intermediate Qi withdrawal symptoms!

She wanted to grab hold of him but couldn't, as she was in the same boat.

Luckily, the lanky jester caught him as his vision got hazy and laid him beside the brunette. "Here, rest up next to Juliet, but don't die."

The hazy brunette gritted her teeth but fell onto the ground, confused about why they were both so Qi-deprived.

"Alright, bitchez!" Larkin yelled, pulling his elbows back and wiggling his tongue, "You wanted the clamps; now get some! Hahaha! Hahahahaha!"

Like a madman, he clamped the air, shredding through the seagulls.

While others had a problem because they could only handle one attack, the Immortals didn't have that problem, as they could control their Qi and fire semi-auto.

Just as Rein was thinking about that, she realized why they were so Qi-deprived. "It was the scale of the attack…."

They attacked hundreds of seagulls in the air, a massive space without perspective. As a result, they expended ungodly amounts of Qi to kill hundreds of creatures simultaneously!

"Is that so?" Steve chuckled amusedly, looking into the sky, "It didn't seem that big to me. I suppose that's because our frame of reference is so twisted."

An image of Kiera topping a skyscraper flashed in both of their minds, making the Qi-deprived Immortals chuckle bitterly.

"What was that attack?" Rein asked weakly.

"A pain in the ass I got from the Sky Plane cultivators in June." Steve replied bluntly, "The amount of Qi control required by technique is absurd. It's not even worth it."

"So you didn't disclose it because it's a pain in the ass?" She asked in confusion.
"Correct." He replied wryly, "I only used it because I needed a shield for you. Otherwise, I would've just used air slashes to kill them, as this technique isn't lethal by default."

"So wait…." Rein's eyes lit up, connecting the puzzle pieces, "The reason that you're so talented with Qi control—"

"Is because I have a shit technique that requires it." Steve smirked, "I also had an earth-grade technique before I showed up to Immortal Skye. I'm just lucky, and that's why I—"

"Don't say it." The short-haired brunette snapped, cutting him off, "I don't want to hear excuses."

"Love you…." He corrected shrewdly, throwing experimental chaos into the pot, "What are you talking about?"

"There's no reason you should be gambling." Rein huffed, rolling her eyes, "Least of all, w-w-wait! Wh-What!?"

"That isn't an excuse—it's a fact." The Asian man replied, "Wait, what did you say?"

-

HUOH!-HUOH!-HUOH!

"Oh, you want some, too?" Larkin yelled, moving his neck back and forth, "Well, lucky for you, I'm feeling generous today!"

-

"Wait, you first!" She snapped aggressively, eyes shut tightly, "What did you just say after saying you were lucky!?"

"I said [gamble]." Steve chuckled in amusement, watching her adorable expressions, "I'm just lucky, and that's why I [gamble]."

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Rein demanded, her face bright red with embarrassment, "WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

-

SQUAAAAWK!

"Did you just squawk at me?" Larkin asked with eyes narrowed, "You wanna die, bitch?"

-

"Sheeesh, does it matter?" He asked amusedly, "If you're going to kill me, at least don't make me repeat something so embarrassing."

"Kill you!?" She cried awkwardly, her voice cracking in embarrassment, "I wouldn't… why would I… gah! Just say it again!"

"Commit to not killing me, and I'll consider it." Steve smiled cheekily, "You gotta be more committal than that."

"FINE, I WON'T KILL YOU!" Rein yelled with her eyes closed, her entire body burning, "NOW TELL ME!"

"Okay, okay!" The Asian man chuckled in amusement, enjoying her meltdown that answered his question, "I said I love you—obviously. I did it, so it's your turn."

"M-My turn!?" The beet-red brunette cried, hearing his words, "What do you mean by [your turn]!? That's rather presumptuous, don't you think!?"

-

SQUAAAAWK! HUOH!-HUOH!-HUOH!

"Ten of you?" Larkin grinned, "You shoulda brought eighty if you were planning on interrupting this moment!"


-

"Presumptuous? I don't think so." Steve huffed dramatically, "Otherwise, you would have ranted about men putting words in women's mouths, sexual harassment, or both."

Rein blushed furiously, and she turned away. "I…uh… lo… enjoy your presence… I guess."

-

"Yeeeeeeeehaw!" Larkin yelled, hearing the words, "Looks like we've got ourselves a celebration! So get your party favors, peoples!

You get an air slash, and you get an air slash, and you all get air slashes!"

A dozen real slash attacks shot through the air, cutting down birds above the roof like a blender.

"This is a monumental moment!" He declared, putting his hands to the sky, "We gotta let Immortal Skye know! KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!"

-

"Wait, don't do that!" Steve yelled, snapping out of his trance when he heard the jester's keyword.

"Larkin!" Rein yelled, "You can't—"

Unfortunately, it was too late. A massive bubble of warping Qi overtook the skies, and—

KA-BOOOOOOOOOM!

A massive explosion rocked the skies, incinerating fifty seagulls despite the birds being spread out.

"Ka-boom… bitchez…." Larkin said woozily, swaying back from side to side, "Feel the power… of… love~eh…."

Thud!

"LARKIN!" Rein yelled, trying to push herself up, "You idiot! Didn't you see what happened…."

Thud.

All three wheezed on the ground, feeling extremely weak due to Qi deprivation.

"If we die like this, I hope no one finds our bodies." Steve groaned, seeing bloodthirsty scavengers flying above them, "The Emperor will know that all three of us didn't learn from our mistakes. Not only that, we'd all be safe is Larkin just grabbed us and brought us inside."

SQUAAAAWK! HUOH!-HUOH!-HUOH!

"STEVE!" Rein yelled in horror, watching a seagull dive toward the Asian man. She was certain it was the end, so she shut her eyes. "I LOVE YOU!"

SQUAAA—

BOOOOM!

Steve and Rein's eyes widened when they saw the bird explode like a hybrid between a grotesque water balloon and a firework.

"Was that the…." He muttered in a haze, "Wait, no, the shot was from the east…."

Another dozen seagulls exploded to the west as a Guided Arrow weaved through the air, hunting them down.

"Don't tell me…." Rein chuckled in a haze, seven layers deep in the depths of lunancy.

═─┈─═

"Something pre~tty damn saucy better have happened to get me involved." A pink-haired teen scoffed, sitting on a crane with her hand extended, "If I find out that I dropped my bag of dilly chips because you're genuinely stupid, I'm gonna rip out your ribs and shiv you with them."

The teen looked down to check the camp's progress.

SQUAAAAWK! HUOH!-HUOH!-HUOH!

Soldiers stood in rows like ancient archers, pointing Guided Arrows at the seagulls diving into the shipping yard to eat the fish.

"Fire!" Sandra yelled.

WHoooOOoshHHhhooOOoshhHhhshoooOoooOosSH!

A hundred arrows shot across the sky, piercing birds flying and dropping them like flies.

"Yeeeeeeeeaahhhhhhh-hhaaaaaa~" Kiera yawned cutely, stretching her arms, "It's almost getting boring with the sheer numbers we have. It'll—"

Her eyes snapped open when she felt a strange sensation and activated God's Eyes' second level. When she did, she saw a large Soul Qi bolt, ten times the size of the decoys, slam into a shipping container. While it didn't make a sound—

SQUAAAAWK! Squaaawk! HUOH!-Huoh!-Huoh-Huoh-HUOH! Squaaawk, squaaawk, SQUAAAWK! HUOH!-Huoh!-Huoh-Huoh-HUOH!

Every death squawker in the city stopped their attacks and shot into the air in unison. Then they turned to the east, facing the camp, and charged.

"Bro!" Kiera cried, waving her arms cutely around in protest, "You can't just switch from easy to nightmare mode like that!"