Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

The Immortals loved Larkin Downs for his decisive judgments on whether something was [awesome]; they feared Kiera Snow for her rulings on whether something wasn't. So when the jester announced that the princess fought the enemy, everyone wanted to know if the battle was awesome and her opinion of the cultivators. As a result, everyone rushed by the dozens to another charismatic individual: Mars Vanity.

Though none had met him, Mars' assertive beliefs created an electric atmosphere, overpowering the bonfire's heat as he spoke.

"Look at this crowd—that's what I'm talking about!" Mars exclaimed. "I knew that girl was special when I met her. I mean, how can she not be? She broke five cultivators without touching them!"

"That's our princess, for ya!"

"Emperor Lex sends her out to cull the weaklings."

"I don't blame them. Her words are lethal!"

"How'd you meet her?"

"How?" Mars laughed, "I was sitting around up in the mountains, hating life because I wasn't fighting anyone, and then suddenly shit goes bat shit crazy."

His words sucked in the audience, instantly immersing them in his story.

"Now, I'm not talking a little bat shit crazy," he chuckled. "I'm talking about a post-apocalyptic death blender-style attack level of crazy. The animals started going ape shit, whooping, barking, howling, and clawing their way to the west, where a billowing smoke stack signaled danger."

The Immortals and nearby cultivators' eyes flickered with excitement, feeling adrenaline coursing through their veins, rushing on an expedited drip. Mars' words drew them in, visualizing the location and chaos.

"So I'm like, let's gooooooooo!" Mars declared, pumping his fist. "But the Major's not paying attention. Instead, he's holding his jade slips, saying, 'No one's fucking picking up! Roxy, the strike force, and now my evil minions!? How the hell am I supposed to know if there's danger if no one talks to me!?"
Those around the bonfire convulsed with laughter, seeing the teen looking around at the invisible running animals with an agape expression. The scene was so vivid that the crowd believed they could see and hear large animals charging through the area, their battle cries and snapping branches echoing through the night.

"Five," the teen declared with his fingers spread out. "I spent five minutes trying to explain the situation to this man in every way imaginable. Then when he decides to go outside to see if a barrier is blocking the signal, he notices this stampede and looks at me with this nasty look and says: why the fuck didn't you tell me about this!?"

The crowd died down, looking at the aghast expression on his face in anticipation.

"In case you're wondering why the guy's dead, this is foreshadowing," Mars added nonchalantly.

A sudden cackle of laughter shattered the tense atmosphere, giving way to an onslaught of whistles and cheers.

Roxy watched in horror, realizing the attention Mars drew with his immersive performance. She felt nervous, hoping that Kaze, Kiera, or Harper wouldn't come to witness it.

"Anyway, he looks at me and says:" Mars began, "Fight-fight-fight-fight-fight! That's all you ever talk about, so why aren't you doing it?"

Pressure and tension built up around his pause.

"So, I did the right thing and said, 'I wasn't thinking, sir. I'll get right on it!'" he sassed, making people smirk. "But it came out, 'You, you fuckin' moron.' — So now I'm pending demotion and leaving to kill some shit."

Once the winding irony of his words had sunk in, the crowd roared with delight. The story felt personal, as if they were in Mars's body, whistling innocently through the forest, disregarding the resentful glares of the six flying beside him. It was as vivid as a lucid dream yet as natural as reading words from a novel and letting the images form in their minds.

"Five minutes later, we encountered a disturbing scene that made our blood run cold," Mars said gravely. "There was a pretty boy sporting a real-world harem of mind-bending beauties in their skivvies! Worse, these goddesses slaughtered a feast of wild animals while he sat around critiquing them—what type of bullshit is that!?"

Overwhelming feelings of understanding engulfed the Immortals, swallowing their sanity whole. Every time they looked at Kaze, their laughter intensified. Seeing women in short shorts delighted the men and made the women laugh, hearing them called "underwear."


Roxy, however, had the opposite reaction. She prayed that Kiera and Kaze wouldn't show up while Mars was telling the story.

"So anyway, these women are going wild with Guided Arrow, Wind Scythe, and Qi Wall, butchering the shit out of EVERYTHING." Mars recounted excitedly, "And you couldn't even see the blood because they're standing on a scorched wasteland of fire and shrapnel. They were war goddesses, mauling canines, slicing birds, and piercing herds with grace."

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeew!" Larkin whistled, "Hear that, boyz!? Our women are war goddesses!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Roxy's heart pounded like a war drum as she went through simulations to stop the story while under the reaper's scythe. She didn't have to stop the story—she only needed to clear the canvas.

Mars was recreating a memory with visual detail, not just telling a story. Listeners were transported to Twin Rocks Wildlife Reserve, watching a recording of Kiera, Kylie, Addison, and Marilyn battle beasts in short-shorts and tank tops, their bodies glistening with sweat.

Those who listened from the start felt it was the immersion, as they could see Mars' real body and the bonfire. However, anyone who joined mid-way would find themselves transported to a new location as Mars replayed back images with his hyperthymestic memory.

While most rulers valued such an unfathomable skill, Kaze's ominous gaze at Mars in the recording suggested otherwise. Though the teen might interpret it as "I see you, [enemy]," Roxy read it as "I should probably kill you, [Mars Vanity]." It felt personal to the core.

Roxy needed to divert everyone's attention, breaking their immersion from Mars's narrative. She channeled solutions at blinding speed, hoping to find one.

"Yes, they were goddesses—and I was a cultured gentleman and pending demotee," Mars added, eyes closed, pompously touching his chest. "That's why I courteously let them finish. Then when the time was finally right, I swooped in for my grand entrance."

Excitement spread through the crowd like wildfire, burning their lungs with ragged breathing.

"Now, I thought I was pretty damn cool," he smiled, circling the crowd in his real body from the skies. "However, Kiera Snow: the Princess of Immortal Skye—"

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"She says to me:" Mars said mysteriously, looking at the pink-haired teen in everyone's mind.

"I hope you have a divine technique," a cute voice snapped abruptly, making everyone look around in horror. "I know you think your petty tricks are cool, but we're not impressed. The only thing we see is a flashy idiot who doesn't know when he shouldn't show off."

Roxy and the others' hearts pounded when Kiera's sharp voice addressed the maroon-haired teen murderously. The brunette pixie activated her vision technique and scanned the crowd, eventually spotting a pink-haired teen wearing a hood. Roxy could sense an unnatural Qi pattern around the person beside her; they were wrapped in an illusion, meaning it could be Kaze or anyone.