Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

"This is going to take forever." Kaze gruffed while rolling his back in the tub, casually pushing as much glass into his back as possible.

It wasn't breaking past the first layer of muscle tissue, so he tried pushing it in. Unfortunately, it only served to grind the glass into dust.

"Perhaps I'll teach Evalyn the [Razor Flurry] technique, and let her practice on me for a few hours." Kaze pondered, "It will be the first time I'll let her hit me with it in—"

The emperor sighed again. His mind always flooded with memories instinctively, and he caught himself mid-thought. It was uncomfortable.

Kaze casually stood on the glass bed and stepped out of the tub. Then he waved his hand, and a gust of wind hit his body, pulling the glass out of his shredded skin.

Tiny prisms playfully whipped through the air, creating a sparkling chandelier above the tub.

The gust reached under his individually lifted feet before reaching the tub and creating a thin twister.

The emperor shut his right hand forcefully, and the diamond dust compacted into a ball. Once perfectly spherical, it lit on fire, melting into a solid ball in the air.

Kaze reached out his hand into the twister, ending the upward pressure and causing the crystal ball to drop into his hand. He placed it on the sink before walking out of the bathroom as if it were only natural.

The room was now rearranged and clean, and the sheets were pristine and tucked. The emperor couldn't remember the last time he did housework but did it begrudgingly because he refused to live like a "corpulent swine."

"Okay. Let's see if people have developed common sense." Kaze chuckled with a mocking expression. He opened his laptop and navigated to Yanko.

When he did, he grinned when he saw the number of comments.

-----

***Hard offers from prominent people only.***

I offer to help any woman break into the Earth Realm of cultivation with dual cultivation, a powerful sex-based cultivation technique.

Will journey to the client and offer their husband earth-grade cultivation and offensive techniques if they're married.

$10,000,000 for the first woman; must leave a public testimonial.

***Waste my time with baseless [contact me] messages, and I'll double it again.***

—

Comments: 178,928

Ivanka_Rhodes: I'm certain my name and reputation speak for themselves. I'll accept your offer if it's verified and complimentary, as my name is worth more than your ask. Please contact my manager at | +272,029

—— …

— Anonymous: I run a famous technology company. We'll pay $20,000,000. Please send a direct message, and we'll present our full information. We will not post it publicly until we have verified the validity of your statement.

-----

"Your name holds weight?" Kaze scoffed in disgust, "I wouldn't let you dig ditches in my palace's forest."

He sent a message to the anonymous posters. Within seconds, he had already gotten a reply.

—

User: Company name, link to your public profile, and one major news story.

Anonymous: Trotsky Technology, Phillip Trotsky, Inessa Trotsky, https://trotskytechologies/news/182/phillip-trotsky-makes-top-100-weathiest-list

Anonymous: Can you provide proof of your claims?

User: I would provide the cultivation technique to Phillip upon arrival and will provide an Earth-grade offensive technique upon completion.

User: Inessa would receive a dual cultivation technique, which she can teach Phillip for sexual cultivation, and the same Earth-grade technique. Give me your address and a time in the evening.

Anonymous: Address: 1837 Palco Drive, Lexington AW 8271 | Manager Phone: 137-273-9183

Anonymous: There will be an entire guard division present. Can you do it tomorrow?

User: Let me contact my manager. Her name is Lisa, and she'll call you from an anonymous number. I wish not to disclose my identity, as I will never be able to walk six inches in peace again.

Anonymous: Of course. We'll await your call.

—

Kaze chuckled with a grin. "Humans are the same, no matter what level of cultivation they're at."

He pulled out his phone but twitched when he saw another 37 texts from Jake. Most sounded anxious, believing he was abandoned like a kitten.

The emperor scoffed and finally hit the reply button in irritation.

—

You: I told you I'd be in closed cultivation, did I not? I will not permit my regent to disregard my words as baseless falsehoods! You have one warning before an adequate punishment is administered.

The Fool: I'm... sorry. I was just making sure I didn't offend you.

You: I'm glad your actions had partial common sense. I will see you at 3:00 pm sharp at Lamers Park. I will promptly continue fulfilling my promise of a divine technique. Do not be late!]

—

Another apology text immediately came in, but Kaze disregarded it and texted Evalyn.

—

You: First client tomorrow. Trotsky Technology, Phillip Trotsky, Inessa Trotsky, https://trotskytechologies/news/182/phillip-trotsky-makes-top-100-weathiest-list

You: Address: 1837 Palco Drive, Lexington AW 8271 | Manager Phone: 137-273-9183

You: Prepare to wire $20,000,000.

Ice Pheonix: It's been less than an hour since the declaration went out! It takes a minimum of four days to start an LLC!

You: Never underestimate the loathsome resourcefulness of the wealthy when they're desperate. Call the manager. They'll find every sketchy loophole imaginable to get me there tomorrow.

You: Now shed that nauseating weakness. It's a heinous betrayal to your charming countenance.

Ice Phoenix: How do you effortlessly lace compliments with toxic messages? It's inspiring.

You: I regret to inform you that some innate talents are gifts only those destined for greatness can possess.

Ice Phoenix: That in itself is a gift to the world. Gotta go. I received a sketchy number a moment ago and will be busy for the next 72 hours trying to avoid prison time.

You: That sounds unfortunate. If you need anything, I will send my regent to provide it.

Ice Phoenix: Regent? Hah. Well, I'll need coffee. Can you have your imaginary servant fetch one for your real one, your excellence?

You: If a woman of your caliber declares servitude to me, I'd be a fool to refuse such an inconsequential ask.

Ice Phoenix: Your lack of humor is remarkable. I'll make sure to mention that to my therapist. Bye.

—

Kaze chuckled with a warm smile on his face. Then he texted Jake.

—

You: If you are sorry, get a coffee and deliver it to Classroom 37 at 10:58 sharp. It can be anything so long as it has lavender. Speak this phrase to her when you see her.

You: …

You: Do not disappoint me. See you at 3 pm.

—

Kaze walked through the halls of Lockheed University, constantly flipping between charming smiles and bittersweet expressions.

"Hello, ladies. You're looking charming." He called out to a group. All the women's eyes widened in bewilderment with gaping expressions.

"Who's the new guy?" A blonde student asked.

"I don't know. He's cute, though!" Her brunette friend exclaimed, triggering them to burst into giggles.

"Right? He's… perfect. His face, smile, and… muscles look like a perfect statue."

A guy ran up with his smartphone, recording Kaze's back with a crazed smile.

"Wait, is he a celebrity?" The blonde asked.

The man recording turned to them with a toothy grin. "I know you're not gonna believe this, but that's Scrawn Fu!"

"Wait! No way!" A redhead interjected.

The entire hallway exploded in an uproar.

"I should've just avoided class to pick up women." Kaze said with a murderous smile. He took a deep breath, cultivating while walking to obtain willpower not to kill the man.

The emperor couldn't ravage his budding reputation with a public killing. However, that didn't mean he'd foolishly allow people to trample upon his reputation.

"You're not going to believe this, but—" The man said to another group of women before—

Kaze discreetly pulled out a quarter in his pocket and flicked it over his shoulder without looking, hitting the man's phone and causing it to explode.

Everyone was so shocked that they didn't notice the emperor leaving the hallway to Lamers Park.