Please, Divorce Me

“Together…”

“…”

“Next time, let’s choose a flower together. Something the baby will like.”

What would he say? Would he dismiss it again, saying I was being presumptuous, or would he get angry? 

It felt like an eternity to wait for his answer. My hand that gripped the hem of his robe trembled, and my heart felt like it would drop and jump at once. 

“…”

No matter how long I waited, I didn’t hear an answer. Ah, I messed up again. It was a mistake. 

With that thought in mind, I let go of him, but suddenly, Kyle’s low voice rang, “Alright.”

My eyes widened as I looked up. I wanted to see his face, but the hem of his robe was coldly slipping through my grasp.

I stared blankly at his back as he passed by me. I looked down, placing my hands on my stomach. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. 

I tucked my hair behind my ears and whispered, “Thank you, baby.”

To me, seeing his back always made me feel bitter and lonely, but for the first time, it didn’t. It was thanks to the baby. 

Did he open his heart to the child? Even though I wasn’t far along yet, I could feel my heart beating through the palm of my hand, as if the baby was answering me. 

With my grin still in place, I turned to Laura. “Laura, I think the baby will be as intelligent as His Grace. I have a feeling.”

“Madam…” Laura smiled awkwardly as if unsure how to deal with my rarely excited appearance.

It was a quiet noonday, and the autumn scent blew through the window. It had rained the day before, and the humid and damp air had a strong seasonal scent.

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I put down the book I was reading and looked up at Laura. “Where is Kyle going?”

I’ve gotten used to saying his name now. At first, I had a difficult time uttering the word. Even just saying the first syllable made my heart race. But, even now that I’ve gotten used to it, I still haven’t been able to call Kyle comfortably. 

“His Grace will attend a meeting in an allied country.”

“Isn’t the war over?” 

“His Grace has to be there to discuss the territorial distribution of the defeated country.”

When we met in the garden a while ago, he didn’t say anything. I see. I pursed my lips and nodded.

Laura blinked and smiled, a sight I rarely saw. “Are you upset to hear the news from me?”

“No way,” I denied, wildly waving my hands. But it was clear from the look on Laura’s face that she didn’t buy it. 

I wasn’t really upset about it. In the first place, Kyle never talked to me about his work or daily life, and if he had something to do, someone would usually notify me instead. 

I’ve become greedy. Being able to call his name made me curious about his life and his thoughts.

Did he sort out things with Hari? If so, that would be great. I was greedy even for areas I knew were off-limits. 

I smiled bitterly and tucked back my hair. Then, when sunlight hit my face, I frowned. 

“Your complexion has brightened up a lot.” Laura closed the curtains in the study and continued the conversation with ease.

“Really?” I asked, cupping my cheeks. 

Knock, knock–.

At that moment, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

It was none other than Takan. It’s been a long time since I frequently saw him in the mansion.  

“Takan,” I stood, greeting him. 

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Takan walked in and bowed. “You were looking for me?”

I smiled as I approached him. It was nice to meet him after so long, and I moved without knowing that my tired body felt heavy. “Did you have a good vacation?”

“Yes”

I heard he went on vacation, but Takan had a dark expression on his face, like when he asked me for the handkerchief. 

Takan’s eyes, as blue as the autumn sky, were on me but fell after a moment, so I decided not to ask any more questions.

“Takan, can you find an orphanage to sponsor?”

“If it’s a sponsorship…” he trailed off, looking at the ceiling. 

“I’m thinking of sponsoring one using my budget for maintaining dignity. I was planning on giving grains and school supplies. What do you think?”

“My opinion doesn’t matter,” 

he answered. “Then I’ll look for an orphanage.”

After a while, Takan left the room. He was usually ruthless, but he was even more so today.

Confused, I turned to Laura, but she shook her head as if she knew nothing. 

“His Grace has proposed to eat a meal together.”

“A meal?”

Did I do something wrong again? Let’s calm down first. Two seasons have passed since I last sent a letter to Father, to which he never replied, and I never heard of the business being opened. After that, Kyle no longer mentioned it.

I hope you didn’t change your mind about the child. 

Maybe it’s because the random thoughts made me nervous, but there was a prickling discomfort in my lower stomach, and I could feel a headache coming. 

Laura asked if she should tell Kyle I was feeling unwell and to postpone it if I continued to feel sick, but I stubbornly attended the meal. 

I knew if I didn’t, I would continue to feel anxious, and it might affect the baby. 

It shouldn’t be a big deal.

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I took a deep breath and followed Takan as he guided me into the dining room.

“I’m here.”

The same scene as last time unfolded before my eyes. There was a dinner on the table, and Kyle was waiting for me, looking contemplative. 

Except for Kyle waiting for me, everything was the same. I licked my lips and sat down in the chair Takan pulled out. As I moved, the candle that adorned the candlestick flickered and swayed.

Soon enough, only Kyle and I were left in the room.

“Did you hear from Laura?”

“About what?” I asked, confused. 

Kyle didn’t answer and just stared at me. Then, a moment later, he picked up the tableware and started eating. 

He wasn’t one to engage in useless small talk, and since he didn’t ask the question again, maybe it didn’t matter.

I followed his lead and quietly started eating. In the quiet room, only the sound of the tableware hitting against each other resonated. 

I glanced at Kyle, who seemed to only play with his food. Did Kyle even eat? Thinking back, I couldn’t think of a moment I’d seen him eat. He was always just drinking something.

The food looked delicious. I salivated at the spread. 

Would he mind if I ate? My appetite grew when I became pregnant, so it had been a struggle to resist delicious food. 

Before I knew it, I left my worries behind and, as if possessed, cut the meat into small pieces, drizzled it with sauce, and chewed heartily.

But I suddenly stopped, my eyes widening. 

“Your Grace?”

Kyle had put his plate in front of me. I swallowed hard. 

“I heard that having a child is hard on a mother’s body.”

Unlike me, Kyle had a glass of wine. His words and behavior weren’t that different from usual, but his slightly furrowed eyebrows looked softer.

“T-thank you…” I stammered and gently rubbed the tableware I was holding with my fingertips. Then, I hurriedly shoved the food in my mouth and chewed because if I didn’t, I might not be able to stop myself from laughing hysterically. 

Sometimes good things can happen if you don’t expect and just assume the worst. 

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Kyle turned his gaze to me several times as he handed me more food. He hesitated for a while before speaking. “I’ll be back.”

“Yes?”

After blinking a few times and staring at Kyle in confusion, I finally understood the meaning behind his words. 

It was a low voice, but it was clear that he was talking to me.

‘Did you hear from Laura?’

‘I’ll be back.’

When I recalled Kyle’s words, I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on my face. I bowed down to hide my expression and covered my mouth with the back of my hand. His heart didn’t even come to me, but it felt as if I’d made progress.

Could I hope for more? That I’m finally moving Kyle’s heart? 

I cleared my throat and looked up. “Are you going to the allied country?”

The beautiful hand wrapped around the wine glass twitched. The furrow between his eyebrows deepened as he set down his glass. I didn’t know if the look on his face was that of displeasure or embarrassment. Was my question difficult?

I bit my lip in regret and swallowed the rest of my questions. I was worried I might ruin Kyle’s mood.