Pride and Sanctimony

Chapter 48

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Not a soul ever said that to her before.

No one was ever worried about her.

And because no one had ever expressed concern for her, she didn’t know how warm those words could feel. Nor did she know just how much they could break her. 

Her heart was stuck in a frigid winter, and as those warm words melted the snow, the tears pooled up.

Why did it have to be you? Why did you have to be the one to say those words to me for the first time?

Why did he insist on leaving behind such wonderful memories? When he said things like that, he made it sound like he wanted to protect her. No, truthfully he’d already saved her life before.

Twice, actually. Back when she was almost hit by that carriage, or when he risked himself to save her from wild dogs in the forest. Why did he keep going that far?

[Lexus] “Wh, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?”

Her sudden tears, pouring out without any prior warning, shocked Lexus. 

It was obviously a little bit concerning for him that the person in front of him suddenly started crying. Valentia shook her head, her tears falling from her cheeks to the ground.

[Lexus] “Then why are you crying?”

Because you’re so warm. Because you’re so very kind to me.

[Valentia] “No, it’s nothing.”

More than an appropriate number of women had shed their tears in front of Lexus.

They cried because they hated him.

Because they resented him.

Because they loved him.

They cried for so many different reasons, and not once did he feel a desire to help them. 

But for the first time in his life, Lexus was bewildered and unsettled by a woman’s tears, and so even her tears were considered special and unique.

Lexus took a shaky hand and held her cheek in his palm, touching her tears with his thumb. Only a few drops managed to touch him.

But despite that, the feeling of her tears wetting his gloves and seeping through to his hand was painful. As if he were touching acid against his skin.

[Lexus] “Don’t cry.”

[Valentia] “Okay.”

She answered obediently, but her tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

There was no woman in this world whose tears could move his heart, he thought. But he could not turn away from her.

[Lexus] “Tell me why you’re crying.”

[Valentia] “It’s nothing.”

She didn’t know how to describe such a complex emotion to him. And with no words to describe this, she said nothing, just shaking her head a little bit.

[Lexus] “I think I must be an idiot.”

[Valentia] “What do you mean?”

With a gentle but clumsy movement, he started wiping away her tears with his thumb.

[Lexus] “I don’t know what I can do to make you stop crying. And I can’t even figure out what’s making you cry in the first place. That must mean I’m an idiot.”

He always seemed like he had everything in the world under control, so seeing him perturbed and confused by her tears made her feel a little special. 

This massive man, made so uncertain by her crying, was so lovely in her eyes. The warmth that filled her chest swelled as more tears poured out.

[Lexus] “You have to stop crying. If you keep going, you’ll make me want to do something bad.”

He whispered, his fingers fumbling as he traced the line of her tears.

[Valentia] “Something bad?”

[Lexus] “Yes.”

[Valentia] “How so?”

[Lexus] “Something like this.”

She was so caught up in her crying that she didn’t even realize how the formality of his speech had entirely disappeared. Lexus held Valentia’s face with his hands, and carefully got closer.

Before she could even register in her mind how this giant man was now filling her vision, she felt his warm breath against her skin as he pressed his lips against her wet cheek.

Valentia’s eyes widened in surprise at the sudden feeling, and the tears that were once clinging to the edges of her eyes fell. But then, kiss— kiss— He moved his lips along her cheek, as if he were taking them all.

It was so strange. Her tears felt so painful on his finger, burning like salt on a wound, but against his lips and his tongue, they tasted so sweet.

Then he kissed the corners of her eyes and up near her brow, and Valentia closed them as if his touch were only natural. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell exactly where he was as his warm breath moved across her skin.

And when she tasted his lips softly against hers, she did not open her eyes.

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[Lexus] “Are you all done crying now?”

With the remnants of her tears still left on her face, Valentia glanced at the man who asked if she had shed all that she needed to. 

She was so embarrassed, she wanted to pretend she didn’t know him. Valentia just nodded her head without saying anything back.

[Lexus] “You’re a bigger crybaby than I expected.”

She glared at him coldly as she silently cursed the tears that wouldn’t stop even as he kissed her but even now, she remained completely silent.

Still, she was grateful that he allowed this to pass by quietly, not continuing to question what had made her so suddenly cry. Even Valentia didn’t really know how to explain this.

These feelings were already difficult to organize in her mind, and would be even more difficult to articulate to another person. 

She’d never cried like this before, so she ended up going a little overboard. She couldn’t remember crying like this growing up….No, she probably hadn’t cried like this since she was a baby.

[Valentia] “You should have left. Why did you stay next to me?”

[Lexus] “How can I leave a crying woman behind?”

[Valentia] “It sounds like something you would do.”

[Lexus] “As much as I would love to deny that, it’s a shame I can’t.”

He was such a terrible person. But all the same, she really loved this awful man sitting next to her.

[Valentia] “Why did you stay?”

[Lexus] “It wasn’t a bad situation for me.”

He shrugged his shoulders all theatrically, but it wasn’t a bad thing to see.

[Valentia] “What is that supposed to mean?”

[Lexus] “I got to kiss you since you were crying.”

[Valentia] “You’re shameless.”

His words were unexpected, and she was nearly stunned into silence. Those warm and cozy feelings that were once so strong just a moment ago disappeared within a second.

Hearing her reply with obvious disgust, he let out a low laugh. His comment definitely made the atmosphere feel a little lighter.

[Lexus] “But I think it would be a little difficult for us to return to the banquet.”

[Valentia] “What do you mean?”

[Lexus] “Your makeup’s all smudged.”

It took her a second to realize what his words meant as she pondered a response, but the moment she did, her face turned beet red. It didn’t even occur to her to think about her makeup since she hardly ever wore any, nor did she ever really cry.

Valentia buried her face in her hands.

[Valentia] “Don’t look.”

[Lexus] “But you’re still lovely.”

No, she definitely looked ugly and he was just trying to say that to follow along with a gentleman’s courtesy. But despite knowing that, the tips of her ears turned red.

[Valentia] “Don’t say things like that!”

As Valentia kept covering her face with her hands, she felt his big hand covering hers. And based on the warmth she now felt acutely beside her, she knew he was very close.

[Lexus] “I’m being serious.”

He spoke with a friendly and soft voice.

Valentia’s hand flinched as she felt him shift beside her, kissing the back of her hand. Even through the lace of her gloves, it still felt so warm.

[Lexus] “Move your hands.”

[Valentia] “I don’t want to.”

[Lexus] “I’ll take them all.” (1)

Take? What was that supposed to mean? Valentia sunk down deeper, keeping her head down, but he only came closer, pressing her into his arms.

[Lexus] “Hurry.”

His voice whispered out like he was in a rush.

[Lexus] “I want to see more.”

See more of what?

[Lexus] “I want to see more of your face.”

[Valentia] “I look terrible.”

[Lexus] “You’re beautiful. So hurry.”

Valentia slowly lifted her head up, pulling her hands away. With his gloved hands, he held her face in his palm, rubbing his thumb against her cheeks and the corner of her eyes. 

And he kissed her very softly. 

He kissed her repeatedly, quietly whispering over and over again how beautiful she was, letting the words settle into her skin.

Then–

[Elizabeth] “Hey!”

Elizabeth appeared out of nowhere, calling out to Lexus in a loud and unafraid voice. He could even feel Valentia tense out of surprise because of it.

Lexus let out a long sigh.

Luckily, she appeared from behind, and so she didn’t catch sight of what he was doing. If she had, she would not have called out to him with a simple hey.

With a regretful hand, Lexus pulled away from Valentia, turning back behind him.

[Lexus] “I think you’re old enough that you don’t need me to look after you.”

[Elizabeth] “Why are you going off somewhere without me? What were you doing here?”

[Lexus] “I wasn’t doing anything, you little troublemaking Princess.”

[Elizabeth] “Liar! Miss Syner’s face is all wet! Did he make you cry?”

Elizabeth quickly ran up to Valentia, anxiously grabbing her hands as she looked up at her. 

Her hands were small, and she was holding Valentia’s with such care and warmth that she almost started crying again.

[Valentia] “O, of course not, Princess.”

But her voice was still trembling. Anyone who heard her would know that she was definitely crying a moment ago.

Elizabeth turned her head back, and glared harshly at Lexus. But as fierce as she tried to look, he didn’t feel intimidated in the slightest by his lovely sister and her adorable face.

[Elizabeth] “You made her cry, didn’t you? What did you do to her? Agh, you should’ve smacked him right in the face again!”

[Valentia] “It’s really not like that.”

[Elizabeth] “You don’t need to lie for him. I know he must’ve done something awful.”

[Lexus] “This is truly unfair, but it can’t be helped at this point. I wanted to take you home, but it looks like I’m going to have to take this troublesome Princess back instead. I will ask Yusef to make sure you return home safely.”

[Valentia] “It’s alright. Thank you for today.”

[Lexus] “Of course. I’ll see you again soon.”

Valentia understood that he was talking about the weekend.

Though, he had no choice but to speak vaguely. If his troublemaking little sister were to hear him say anything specific, no doubt she would say, What were you planning on doing together over the weekend?

Lexus took Valentia back out to the carriages, making sure she was safely inside and in Yusef’s care. Once he confirmed that her carriage had left, he then set about his task of taking his troublesome sister back to the Imperial Palace.

[Lexus] “What were you doing, coming here like that?”

[Elizabeth] “I was curious about your partner………”

[Lexus] “You’ve never been curious before. You need to understand your position better than that.”

[Elizabeth] “What are you talking about?”

[Lexus] “No doubt a servant or two is going to get in trouble since you came here without permission. It’s good nothing happened, but what would you have done if something went wrong?”

Lexus was normally the kind of brother to laugh and say something like I’m usually the one who makes all the trouble and gets scolded for it. 

But instead, he was talking with a very serious voice, looking down at his sister with a rare frown.

[Elizabeth] “Th, that…..”

It was a small act on her part and her way of having a little bit of fun, but the people below her who were meant to look after her would undoubtedly be severely punished for failing to watch her properly.

[Lexus] “Even if you just wanted to make trouble for me, your actions were wrong.”

[Elizabeth] “…….Okay. I won’t do it again.”

[Lexus] “Have you reflected on your wrongdoings?”

[Elizabeth] “Yes.”

Then, Lexus’ expression softened and he smiled.

[Lexus] “Alright. Then I’ll graciously ignore how my tactless younger sister came out swinging, interrupting things by asking if her brother was the one who made someone cry.”

[Elizabeth] “What?”

[Lexus] “You know what you did.”

Lexus held his chin, his smile turning bitter.

[Elizabeth] “Ah, oh, that.”

Elizabeth realized her mistake just a little bit too late, and was at a bit of a loss.

She got all scared and worried after she realized her brother had run away and ditched her, and so she completely forgot what it might mean for him and the lady to be left alone.

But that was to be expected. She was still just a little girl who had not yet become a lady yet.

[Elizabeth] “I’m sorry.”

[Lexus] “It’s already over.”

He smirked.

This whole thing was a mess from start to finish. Nothing turned out the way he wanted it to. He couldn’t help Valentia pick a dress, and he couldn’t partake in a single dance with her despite attending the Fall Banquet as partners.

He couldn’t escort her properly, he couldn’t figure out why she started crying, and to make matters worse, he couldn’t even take her home because of his younger sister’s unexpected appearance.

It was the first time everything had turned out so messed up.

And yet, it was a night far warmer and kinder than any one before it.

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T/N: (1) He’s talking about her tears. The raws use a term meaning “to drink” or “to lick” depending on contextual understanding.

For context, Lexus is later stated to be around 6-7 years older than Elizabeth. Elizabeth is currently 15 years old, making Lexus 21/22 years old at present. I have a soft spot for MLs who have positive sibling relationships, huhu.