Pride and Sanctimony

Chapter 52

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The Iron Maiden. 

She knew they were talking about her, but it had been a while since she’d heard the name spoken so freely. It was so sudden and unexpected that she felt her heart drop in her chest just hearing it.

She recognized the voice, too. It was his closest friend, Tex—Heir to Duke Langbell.

[Tex] “Are you really seeing her now?”

[Lexus] “She said okay, as far as I know.”

[Tex] “So, why aren’t you guys spending time with each other?”

[Lexus] “She asked me to give her space while she studied for exams.”

Somehow, his voice sounded a little uneven.

[Tex] “Wow, she’s kind of amazing. To think she’s kicking the Prince to the side just so she can study.”

[Lexus] “We went to the Fall Banquet together.”

[Tex] “Right, you did. Did you do anything besides that?”

[Lexus] “Nothing.”

[Tex] “Nothing? That doesn’t sound like the Prince I know. I’ll ask again—did you do anything besides that?”

[Ruth] “So, did you sleep with her?”

Another friend of his, Ruth said. He asked such a low bar question, but it came out far too easily.

Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding. She was afraid to know what kind of answer he would give, and she was so shocked and surprised by what she was hearing that even her breath was coming out all ragged.

[Lexus] “I’m under no obligation to answer that question.”

He didn’t say anything concrete in response, but even his vague answer was extremely telling. It was the kind phrasing that could easily be understood by anyone, even if he wasn’t affirming their suspicions. 

Valentia’s cheeks flushed red.

[Ruth] “I guess that means you won the bet. I really didn’t think it would work. What was the wager, again?”

A bet? This was…a bet?

What on earth were they talking about? What was this!?

Valentia yelled at herself in her mind. Her head already understood it very clearly, but she wanted so desperately for it to not be true. That maybe….maybe it was all just a strange misunderstanding.

Don’t pretend you don’t understand, Valentia, the voice inside of her said. You already knew. You knew right from the very beginning.

Connecting the dots based on their words made things easy.

Lexus made a bet to see if he could successfully sleep with her. On whether or not he could conquer her. And no further listening was needed to understand when this bet was likely made. 

It was probably right after she slapped him. Prior to that, they’d never once bumped into one another.

For the person considered to be the most desirable man in the entire Empire, a bet like this would be a simple thing. All so he could see if he could ensnare the woman who despised him enough to slap him despite the consequences.

He must have decided that a bet like this was worth that kind of effort.

Oh, how much fun he must’ve had, seeing her get all confused and bewildered by his calculated kindness. What fun to see her get pulled around like that!

And then she ended up getting serious while he was just toying with her. Even now, though she knew the truth with utmost certainty, she so foolishly wanted to believe it was a lie.

[Tex] “No, this can’t be real. She’s the Iron Maiden. No matter what kind of man you are, there’s zero chance a woman made of iron can fall in love with a man.”

[Arthur] “But he’s the Prince. Even a Prince’s charm can work on the Iron Maiden.”

At Arthur’s snide comment, Tex grabbed both sides of his head as he stood up from his seat, shouting into the air.

[Tex] “No, my land! My lake! My villa—!”

The first time she spoke to him, the interaction was horrid. He misunderstood things, poured out all those terrible insults, and Valentia even slapped him in the face as a form of rebellion. That was how they first met.

Now, the reason for why he approached her in spite of that was clear.

Why did he keep pushing her? Why did he keep talking to her, following her around and taking the empty seat next to her? Why was he so kind? Why did he treat her well?

Everything that didn’t make sense was suddenly filled with clarity.

That’s how it was.

It was always like that.

Valentia flinched, taking a sudden step back. She couldn’t even breathe properly. 

Though she heard every vivid truth with her own ears, even though she knew it was ridiculous, she couldn’t believe it was all a lie. That nothing, absolutely no part of how he treated her was real.

And she was not courageous enough to shove open the door and demand answers.

All she could hear was the sound of something shattering. What is her heart that was making that sound? Or maybe her misplaced faith? 

She didn’t know. 

Perhaps it was her ill begotten love.

And she didn’t know what to do with the shattered pieces left in her hands. There was nothing left but devastation. Valentia was suffocated by the knowledge that those things she held so dear meant absolutely nothing.

Who exactly was it that she had given her love to?

She saw him sitting in the room, completely silent with a languid but crooked expression on his face. 

It was very strange to look at him now, though she was so certain that she loved him. But though his face was no different, she couldn’t recognize him any more.

Valentia could no longer see the person she once felt affection for.

Though his friends mocked her, calling her the Iron Maiden, he never stopped them or tried to refute them. He could’ve denied it at least once, telling them not to call her that, but instead he stayed completely quiet.

And then, unable to listen any longer, Valentia left that place.

What she was running from, she could not say. Was she running from him? Or because she could not bear the pain in her chest from this wound he had caused? 

Bearing the weight of this terrifying sense of betrayal, Valentia stepped back, not knowing she would never be able to return to how things once were.

But one must wonder—Had she not run away, had she walked in, gotten angry and made him explain…..would things have turned out differently?

But in the end, such was a useless question to ask.

Filled with a sense of betrayal that could not be abated, Valentia left. All she could do was get away.

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His daily life was boring. After his lectures were complete, he was planning on just heading back home to the palace when he was suddenly accosted by Tex, Arthur, and Ruth.

[Tex] “Want to go hang out?”

[Lexus] “Not interested.”

[Tex] “What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting a little modestly these days.”

[Lexus] “Modest?”

[Tex] “It’s true. You aren’t seeing any women like you normally do and you don’t even go out lately.”

Tex stuck out his tongue as he grumbled. 

The Prince was spending all of his free time diligently studying these days, quietly passing away his daily life before returning back to the palace.

Honestly, the Prince was an entertaining person to watch. Any time he caused a commotion, it was sure to be a fun scene. But now, thanks to the Prince keeping to himself and never seeing any women, Tex’s fun was being shattered.

[Lexus] “Honestly, it’s about time you grew up, too.”

[Tex] “What are you, my mother?”

Tex had a look of disgust on his face, especially peeved since he’d just heard the same from the Duchess not long ago.

[Lexus] “Who wouldn’t feel a little uncertain if they had a son like you?”

[Tex] “Is that really how you’ve been looking at me this whole time, Lexus?”

[Arthur] “Come on, don’t fight. Ah, but that reminds me, what happened with that whole thing with the Iron Maiden? Are you working hard?”

Arthur quickly brought up another topic of conversation, hoping to lighten up the mood, but it made Lexus flinch. 

This was an unwelcome topic to talk about.

[Tex] “Oh, that’s right. How’s that going? I was going to ask if you’ve made any progress.”

[Lexus] “…..I was planning on going out with her first.”

He felt very uncomfortable right now, almost like his stomach was turning while he was talking.

[Tex] “Oh, so you finally made your move?”

Move? 

An unconscious frown grew on Lexus’ face. Somehow, he didn’t like the sound of that word. It felt wrong and bad.

[Tex] “It’s amazing that you actually managed to net the Iron Maiden.”

The Iron Maiden. 

Though they called her that, she actually wasn’t like that at all. Honestly, from what he’d seen of her, she was a much more weak-hearted person than her hardened title made her out to be.

She couldn’t even reach out and pet a stray dog because she was afraid of getting attached, even though she spent so much time painstakingly taking care of him. And when the dog was in trouble, she instinctively went out to save it.

And she was even the kind of woman who reached out and took care of a young kid who was crying after losing his mother.

He really didn’t like where this conversation was going.

They were finally starting to talk about this goddamn bet. It wasn’t as though he was pursuing her, wanting to keep seeing her just because of that.

No. That’s not quite right. The bet was how this whole thing got started, but as time went along, he gradually forgot about it until it was out of his mind completely. 

He wasn’t even reminded of it until right this moment, when he realized that he’d technically won.

But while his head was spinning, their conversation went sideways.

It was only just now that he felt extremely ashamed over his own actions. Valentia didn’t even know the whole story, but that subtle guilt was enough of a thorn to make him uncomfortable.

[Lexus] “I……..”

[Tex] “What?”

Lexus clenched his teeth.

Just say it. I lost.

In the middle of Tex’s griping, yelling about his precious land, lake, and villa, he tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. 

If he were to say those dreaded words of ‘I lost’, no doubt Tex would immediately jump on the chance to mock him.

Lexus had never once bent to the will of another, nor had he ever declared himself the loser. Those words were no different from biting on his own tongue just to give another the chance to cut it out—words he believed he’d sooner die than say.

This goddamn pride of mine.

[Lexus] “Don’t call her that.”

[Tex] “What? Don’t call who what?”

[Lexus] “Don’t call her the Iron Maiden. You know she has a name, right?”

And so, instead of the phrase ‘I lost’, that’s all he said in its place. Hearing Lexus’ words, the others threw awkward glances at each other.

[Tex] “Wh, what’s her name?”

It was extremely unpleasant that they didn’t even know what her proper name was. 

But it was hypocritical of him to get mad at them for that. He had no right to act all self righteous about it, like he was so much better than them when he was no different not long ago.

Perhaps that’s why it was so unpleasant for him to have to listen to them. Their actions were like mirrors, reflecting his own awful behavior right back at him.

[Tex] “Uh, well, um, right…..Was it Valentia?”

But honestly, he didn’t really like hearing them call her Valentia, either.

[Lexus] “Don’t even call her by her name.”

[Tex] “What the hell, Your Highness?”

[Arthur] “Then, what do we call her?”

[Lexus] “Call her by her last name. Her last name.”

[Arthur] “……Last name……What was it, again?”

For these three, Valentia was just the top student at the Academy and the source of their now failed bet—the Iron Maiden. There was no need for them to understand anything about her beyond that, much less her name; both first and last.

Lexus was certainly the same as them at one point, but now it all just felt so disgusting.

He normally would’ve enjoyed these sorts of conversations in the past, but their words just kept making him feel worse, like he was getting sick. What the hell was up with this feeling? Why did he feel so empty, like something was missing?

He just wanted to move on from this already. He wanted to leave.

What he wanted to do was go see that woman. 

Her face was always so stiff, but sometimes she’d get these little grins without even realizing it, and her normally rigid voice would turn light and free. He wanted to take a walk with her, their steps following after that golden puppy who’s tail never failed to wag when she was around.

And now he knew the reason for his listlessness. The reason for why his daily life had become so dull—It was because Valentia wasn’t here.

He missed her dearly, and the time left until he could see her again felt endless.

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T/N: (1) ‘Seeing’ as in dating. To be fair, the word used could also feasibly be translated into dating since it’s just a term meaning to be in a romantic relationship, but ‘dating’ felt very off kilter for what should be a historical setting.

Oh my goodness, this chapter though! My favorite to translate so far. Valentia’s feelings were so intense to read, and so I hoped I did her whole internal monologue justice. It was very heart wrenching to read, and I actually cried. Didn’t help that I was listening to my sad music playlist….