Pride and Sanctimony

Chapter 57 | What I Can’t Say in Person

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[Shopkeep] “Welcome!”

When Valentia entered the store, the lady at the counter greeted her with a friendly smile.

This place smelled different from other businesses, the air thick with the scent of paper. But it was not heavy or nauseating, it was just subtle yet distinct, bringing with it a feeling that calmed her heart.

But that was only natural. This was no mere paper shop, but rather a business that dealt with paper used by the nobility to send letters.

[Staff] “What is your family name?”

The noble families would oftentimes like to use the same paper every time, so shops like this would usually keep their wares stored and categorized by family—managing product for specific houses separately from others.

However, Valentia’s outfit was rather plain and she came alone, so the shopkeep mistook her for coming here for the first time to input her family name.

[Valentia] “I came here for some personal shopping.”

[Shopkeep] “Is there any product in particular you’re looking for?”

[Valentia] “No. What would you recommend?”

[Shopkeep] “Depends on the use.”

[Valentia] “I wish to send a letter.”

Did the type of paper make a difference? Valentia never had anyone to send a letter to before, much less a reason to send on in the first place, so she wasn’t really sure.

That was a very rare occurrence for a noble lady, since many of them were bound to send letters to their friends and family at one point or another. But Valentia had no such people and so she had no reason to put pen to parchment for another’s sake, even at the Academy.

[Shopkeep] “The paper one might use for a friend or for their parents are very different, usually elegant and neat in their making. Sometimes people will even pick something the person in question might like. There are sometimes even small images of flowers and animals imprinted on the parchment.”

[Valentia] “I see.”

[Shopkeep] “Perhaps this letter is meant for your lover?”

Usually a customer would take the sign and indicate whomever it was that they wished to write a letter to, but this particular customer did not speak of it, and so the shopkeep decided to ask outright.

The only times when people were hesitant to bring up the recipient of their letter was when it was meant for their lover or someone they hoped would become their lover.

But Valentia didn’t know how to answer her question.

Were they lovers? What sort of relationship did they have, and how would one even begin to describe it? After learning such a cold and cruel truth, so much of Valentia’s former conviction was failing her.

All she knew for certain was that she sincerely fell in love with such an awful man, and that she hated him for it.

But also that she didn’t.

[Shopkeep] “How about this one? This one is very popular for when ladies write love letters. It has a lovely scent to it as well. Would you like to see it?”

Valentia took the paper from the shopkeep and brought it closer to her face.

Just as she said, there was a subtle flower scent to it. It was a finely colored paper, peach-like in its hue, and it felt nice to touch.

[Valentia] “I like it. Is it a rose scent?”

[Shopkeep] “That’s right, you got it right away. In the past, they used to dry flowers and send them with the letter, or sometimes spray perfume on the paper before they sent them off. Eventually that led to a product like scented paper coming out. Of course, it’s far more romantic and meaningful for one to dry flowers themselves, but thanks to such a custom, something like this was born into creation.”

[Valentia] “I see. That’s very interesting.”

[Shopkeep] “Would you like to see something else?”

[Valentia] “Yes.”

[Shopkeep] “Can you guess this scent?”

This paper was a light purple in color with a spindle like design on it. When she took it to her nose and took a sniff, she smelled flowers again.

[Valentia] “……Lavender.”

[Shopkeep] “Right again! You’re incredible.”

The shopkeep was very excited as she showed her different types of paper, with Valentia eventually settling on the second parchment that was shown to her.

[Shopkeep] “If it’s a love letter you wish to write, wouldn’t the first one be better? It has such a sweet scent, even men like it.”

[Valentia] “It’s true that the one I am sending it to is a nobleman.”

But she wasn’t sure if this letter could be considered a love letter of all things. So this particular parchment, one made of a cold light purple hue rather than the sweet and pink one that beamed affection, was much more appropriate.

[Shopkeep] “Thank you for your patronage, dear customer. I’m glad I was able to help you.”

[Valentia] “Yes. Thank you.”

The shopkeep packed the paper between thin wooden separators, meant to keep the paper neat and tidy, and to prevent it from getting crushed in transport. This shop was a rather special place, considering this was the type of service they offered.

Yes, the price of this paper was expensive to say the least, but Valentia didn’t want to send this message on just any old parchment.

This was a letter she was going to write to Lexus. It was almost laughable, to think the first love letter she would ever be writing would contain a farewell.

And the reason why Valentia decided to write this in a letter was because she knew she did not have the courage to finish this in person.

[Lexus] ‘Congratulations.’

[Valentia] ‘Excuse me?’

She realized that fact on the day he gave her a sudden congratulations.

[Lexus] ‘What, you haven’t checked the bulletin board yet? Even after everything, you still got the top spot.’

[Valentia] ‘Oh, I see.’

[Lexus] ‘You mentioned you were worried before the results came out, but you don’t seem all that interested.’

It was hard to believe the rankings were already announced. She remembered the day she went to go check, but her mind wasn’t all that busy before like it was now.

[Lexus] ‘Did you know you’re the first student in all of the Academy’s history to rank first all the way from year one until graduation? It’s impressive.’

[Valentia] ‘Oh, thank you.’

[Lexus] ‘You never change, Valentia. Most people would want to brag about it to whoever they could.’

[Valentia] ‘I have no one to brag to.’

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[Lexus] ‘You have me.’

Valentia looked up at him with a look of surprise in her eyes, but she eventually smiled.

[Valentia] ‘Is it alright if I brag?’

[Lexus] ‘Of course. You can brag as much as you want.’

[Valentia] ‘Should I?’

[Lexus] “Yup. Go on. Give it a try.’

Valentia stood up straight, stretching out her body and puffing out her chest a bit, but the moment she tried to open her mouth, she couldn’t find the words to say.

She’d never bragged or even really talked in depth about her achievements to others, so she didn’t know what the right way to go about this would be.

[Valentia] ‘……How do I brag?’

Though she was filled with groundless confidence before, her shoulders sank, and her awkwardly asked question made Lexus laugh at her.

[Lexus] ‘Alright, just follow my lead. Repeat after me—’I am going to graduate as the top student of the Academy. Amazing, right?’ Now you try.’

[Valentia] ‘I am going to graduate as the top student of the Academy. Amazing, right?’

But she couldn’t say what he did without it coming off as robotic and awkward.

[Lexus] ‘Yeah, it’s really amazing. Seriously, congratulations.’

[Valentia] ‘Thank you.’

[Lexus] ‘Why don’t I treat you to a meal to celebrate?’

[Valentia] ‘Very well.’

She knew it was just an excuse to have a meal together, but she didn’t mind. Valentia didn’t have the kind of social skills that he had, so she was glad that he asked her first.

They went about their travels by way of a horse drawn carriage, and they arrived at a mansion that was different from the one before, but even so, Goldie was still there to meet them.

[Goldie] ‘Bark, bark!’

Before Lexus even had the chance to get out and take Valentia’s hand, Goldie ran up, shaking his little butt with doglike pride, waving his tail wildly.

And while Valentia made her way down, stepping onto the ground, Goldie calmly waited for her as Lexus guided her along. Even as they walked, Goldie remained proud and brave, walking just ahead of her like he was escorting her.

This mansion wasn’t too opulent or grand, but was rather the perfect size, filled with pink flowers and decorations. The blue sky mixing with the pastel hue filled her vision as she took in the sight.

[Hugo] ‘It is an honor to meet you again, my lady.’

While Goldie was excitable and rambunctious, Hugo’s voice was slow and calm. Valentia bowed slightly at his polite greeting, her body shifting into the perfect angle.

[Valentia] ‘I am glad to meet you again as well, Hugo.’

Nestled among the pink lilies was a gazebo draped over with a translucent white canopy cloth. It was a temporary set up, so it lacked the lovely vines and nature from before, but the white cloth protected them from the harsh sunlight, and each of the four pillars was decorated with pink flowers.

The imagery of the light cloth flowing in the wind was a lovely sight, as was the meal that was prepared below it.

[Hugo] ‘Today’s main dish will be shrimp and crab.’

[Lexus] ‘I had seafood prepared today because I thought you might like it.’

Seafood was a difficult delicacy to eat since it was time consuming to prepare, not to mention costly to obtain. And because of those two reasons, it was not something she’d ever eaten a lot of—certainly not enough to say that she liked it.

But strangely enough, she felt too pleasant right now to remember that. But as the meal went on, Valentia remembered something very suddenly.

[Valentia] ‘But did you rent this mansion? And the one from before, too?’

[Lexus] ‘What? Rent?’

[Valentia] ‘If not, then who’s the owner?’

[Lexus] ‘I’m the owner.’

Lexus spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Valentia realized it was probably a foolish question to ask, once again being reminded that the man in front of her was a Prince.

[Lexus] ‘If it’s alright, could I be your escort during the graduation ceremony?’

[Valentia] ‘Why me?’

[Lexus] ‘……Oh, do you dislike the idea?’

Her answer was very cold, and Lexus spoke back with a look of embarrassment on his face.

[Valentia] ‘Oh, no, I’m sorry. I just assumed you would have another partner in mind. I don’t hate it.’

And once she realized her mistake, Valentia said the first excuse that came to mind. His request was unexpected and so she ended up responding rather flippantly. Since the day she entered the Academy, she did so with the assumption she would be walking through the graduation ceremony alone.

[Lexus] ‘I never thought to escort anyone but you.’

She assumed she would be alone, but if he was going to act as her escort, then maybe it would be okay to take that last memory with her. It would certainly be a fitting end to everything, having her final day with him be of the graduation ceremony itself.

[Yusef] ‘Lord Lexus.’

Suddenly, Yusef appeared and called out to him.

[Lexus] ‘What’s going on? I thought I told you not to disturb us.’

[Yusef] ‘That’s….’

Yusef leaned down and whispered into Lexus’ ear with a hushed voice. As he listened to the report, Lexus’ expression slowly turned a little grim.

[Lexus] ‘I’m sorry, but I need to step away for a moment. It’s really important.’

[Valentia] ‘That’s alright. Take your time with your work.’

[Lexus] ‘I can’t do that when I’m supposed to be having a meal with you. I’ll be right back.’

It was the strangest thing in the world.

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Everything she thought was so beautiful as she walked in suddenly lost all meaning the moment he walked away, turning dreary and fleeting in an instant. It was definitely lovely before, but now it was like she couldn’t see color at all. All the stunning and soft pastel pink flowers turned dull and gray, and even the once gentle breeze felt biting and cold.

And Valentia realized it was all because he wasn’t here any more.

What am I supposed to do? It’s already turning out like this. Will it be possible for me to exist in a world without you?

Woof. That was when Valentia looked down, greeting the source of the sound just below her feet.

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