Prince and His Fool

The next morning Rong Zian woke up with a slight headache regretting ever suggesting such a stupid game, he really missed WiFi otherwise he wouldn't have to resort to such methods to keep himself entertained. Feeling lethargic, he got off the bed and looked around for Wu Yange but his side of the bed was cold as though he hadn't even slept there the entire night. "I wonder what type of nonsense kept him from coming back," he mumbled feeling a little disappointed. First official night dating he ran off the entire night.

Rong Zian freshened up at a snail's pace hoping Wu Yange would eventually show up but he was nowhere in sight. He asked the maiden who had brought his clothes but her response was, "His Highness is in the study and he instructed us not to disturb him," in a small voice as though terrified that Rong Zian would overreact.

"Fuck! He promised to help with my hair every morning!" complained Rong Zian taking it out on a brush scaring the maiden who was already afraid of him. Seeing how scared she was, Rong Zian apologised and dismissed her. Bored out of his mind and lazy to deal with his dishevelled hair, he decided to visit Guang and let her know the exciting news. Not that he thought she didn't know, knowing her she had already recorded the entire thing for her own viewing purposes. Yep, Guang had absolutely nothing going on for herself so her hobby all day was watch reality drama featuring real people.

He sat on the bed comfortably cross-legged and instantly entered Guang's space with the fluffy clouds cushioning his body. He opened his eyes expecting to see her messing around with a face mask or playing cards but he was met with a floor filled with packages of all shapes and sizes scattered all over the place. Some had red ribbons tied around them, some red boxes others, their leads were open while she was holding a notepad writing something down with a brooding look.

"What's all this junk on the floor?" asked Rong Zian scanning the packages wandering what the goddess was up to this time.

When she saw him she leapt up in excitement jumping over the packages with a beaming smile. "Ah-Zian, mummy saw everything, I am so excited!"

'Oh crap! Why does she seem more excited than she should be? Did she expect Wu Yange to reject him or is it something else?' he thought scrutinising her cautiously.

"Look, look, look!" she said pushing the notepad in his face, "I already prepared the dowry for the wedding. Do you think it will be enough or I need to ad-," she said before she was cut off by a screaming Rong Zian.

"AHAHAHAH! Why would you be preparing for a dowry? We aren't getting married fuck! Seriously did you have to do all this?" he yelled looking at the list with a petrified look.

Guang reached for his neck and pulled out the ring that he was wearing as a pendant. "Hahahaha so fuckin' dense. Not your fault though, you inherited that trait from your father. Why would Wu Yange use his inheritance from his grandfather, the only person who ever showed concern for him, to make you this?" she said holding up the ring dangling on a chain, "He said he wants more and we both know what more means."

"No, he didn't say the m-word. More can mean moving in together," he replied with an 'I am totally freaked out' expression on his face.

"You have been sleeping in the same room ever since he saved you from the Rong mansion and sometimes even slept on the same bed. Yes, I know about that too," she replied with her hand on her hip like an actual mother.

"Haha, so old fashioned more can mean a dozen things like throwing a love party, get a pet together or get matching couple tattoos. If he didn't say the m-word then it doesn't qualify," he replied nervously laughing but Guang focused on the wrong thing.

"Who the fuck do you think you are calling old fashioned! So disrespectful," she said angrily changing into her thirteen-year-old form. "Why are you here anyway or you are just here to rain on my parade?" she said handing him back the ring and continued with her list ignoring him while mumbling, "Tsk old fashioned. Who does he think his calling old?"

Seeing that he had made her angry, he decided to pacify her seemingly interested in the dowry gifts, "Why would we be the ones giving the gifts don't you think he would take offence being treated like the bride?" he said in a gentle tone while peeking at her list.

"Haha, silly child. I am the goddess, he would be stupid if he doesn't accept these gifts. I even got Guan Yu to forge him a sword a hell-raising sword so powerful it can bring down the imperial palace with one swing,"

Rong Zian had to admit that was pretty impressive, "Wow Li Wei would not like that, that sword has a temper. By the way who's Guan Yu?'

Guang gave a look that translated to 'wow how can you not know that' but still obliged him, "the god of war, he owes me a favour."

Having successfully appeased his mother, Rong Zian could now lay down his problems and hopefully, Guang could give him some advice. He didn't have anyone to ask other than her and beggars are definitely not choosers. "I need your advice, it's about the thing I did in the alternate universe with the other Wu Yange when I thought it was a dream. Yesterday we played game and w-,"

Guang cut him off and scolded him for playing such a stupid game in the first place, "That was fucking childish playing a game that can screw things for me, I mean you. Screw things for you. Technically you had the birds and the bees with the other Wu Yange but you didn't cheat on him but you can't lie to him either. You have to tell him at some point." Her tone was so convincing that Rong Zian had to applaud her for excellent guidance counselling skills. What he didn't know was she had her own agenda.

While he was distracted thinking over what she said, Guang snapped her fingers and dressed him up in red bridal attire, veil, makeup and everything else that comes with being a bride. "What the Fuck!"

"So gorgeous, Ah-Zian you make a perfect bride!" she said squealing with her pigtails jumping up and down in excitement. A thirteen-year-old little goddess was circling around him ecstatic like a little fujoshi scrolling boy love pictures through Instagram.

"Shit! Why did you have to dress me as a bride though!" trying to take it off but it seemed glued to his body, "Take it off!" he yelled fidgeting while trying to free himself from this humiliation.

Guang stopped in front of him twirling one of her pigtails around her finger. "Guess what?" she said with a terrifying smile that gave Rong Zian a bad premonition, "you are also wearing this on your actual body and Wu Yange just walked in." She let out satisfied laugh proud of her handiwork.

"Fuck!" yelled Rong Zian instantly disappearing from Guang's space only to find his actual body in the bridal attire with Wu Yange staring at him speechless rooted to the ground.

The prince was hypnotised by this breath-taking splendour, dumbstruck with his IQ dropping drastically. He had just come over to help Rong Zian with his hair when he walked into this kind of scene. He walked over to him and couldn't resist suggesting something that made Rong Zian kick him out.

"Do you want me to make arrangements now, I am sure I can gather everything in less than an hour," he said with his embracing Rong Zian's waist while scotching closer to him like a high schooler trying to get close to his crush.

Rong Zian took off the veil and gave him a warning gaze, "Wu Yange if you know what's good for you, you better leave now," but his warning seemed to fall on deaf ears, the prince was bewitched by his face and wanted to kiss those lips. Using a guerrilla fighting method, the hit-and-run tactic, he lightly pecked those lips and made a run for it. 'Hahaha, bridal chamber highlights,' he thought running off while Rong Zian was yelling something he didn't even hear.

Rong Zian touched his lips only to realise his mother had gone as far as putting lipstick on him. "Fuck! Seriously, do l look like a girl to her!" he yelled rubbing off the lipstick. He hurried unfastened the dress but couldn't figure out how the contraption worked. The dress was so complicated he couldn't reach certain places and felt like crying, Guang was just too ruthless.

He finally gave up and sort help from the guy he had just thrown out who was stubbornly standing outside. "I know you are still there Yan Yan. Can you help me?" he said sounding so pitiful with a slouching posture all dejected.

Rong Zian didn't have to say it twice, the man ran in all excited like a little puppy, wagging his tail vigorously with a radiant smile. Judging from his face, you would think he had scored a Lexus in a lucky draw. Thus the two men spent an hour trying to get that dress off. Why not ask one of the maidens to help? Well, Wu Yange stubbornly refused saying, " no one was allowed to see my man naked," so the prince struggled with it while a maiden yelled instructions outside the door.