Princess Shu

“It was Lady Eve. Do you remember her?”

Schuden seemed to have hardened without nodding or shaking his head. Valia looked at him patiently. If she had asked something more, he would have answered accordingly. When she just looked at him, Schuden made excuses, or actually brought up an excuse.

“…Nothing happened with her.”

“You didn’t even date her?”

“…”

Schuden was literally speechless. It was blow upon blow. The mercenary who was said to be Valia’s foster parent came to his mind. Obviously, he must have taught her his tactics.

When he did not give any answer, Valia looked at him and took off his arm that was wrapped around her waist. It was literally a gesture to remove him lightly, not to decline him. Schuden could not even catch her as usual. He just accepted his fate.

Valia took a couple of steps away from him and held back the laughter that was about to come out involuntarily. She could feel that Schuden was perplexed even just by looking at him. Was there even anyone in the Empire who was able to directly see the Marquess Garth being perplexed? Perhaps she was the first and the last. Just thinking about that made her feel better.

Whatsmore, he was bewildered when she talked about the woman from his past. Although it was a topic that could be bluntly passed if he wanted to, Schuden did not do it. Valia was also a little happy about that, it just seemed to prove that he cared for herself to some extent.

Most of all, the situation was very interesting for Valia. She wanted to tease her bewildered husband a little more.

“I think her name was Louise. But I didn’t take a good look at her face.”

“…”

Schuden wanted to somehow block Valia’s lips, that kept talking about Louise. But he could not do it because he felt guilty. Only his hand that had been pushed from Valia’s waist twitched lightly. Regardless of Schuden’s feelings, Valia was only smiling as usual.

“But I remember that she was a blonde.”

Of course, her words were very different from usual.

“…Do you really need to remember that?”

“Because she came in front of me.”

“…”

Schuden shut his mouth again. It was already the third time. He was supposed to reply but he had no idea what to answer. He had never been so speechless in all his life. He never imagined that his wife would bring up a woman from his past. No, to be precise, he did not even expect that the story would bewilder him.

“…Did Lady Eve say anything to you?”

“She didn’t say anything. I only saw her face for a moment. She was a very pretty lady with platinum hair. I heard that clear platinum hair like that was rare.”

While telling about Louise, Valia’s voice was just refreshing. But from Schuden’s point of view, that was more of a concern.

A woman waiting for an answer and a man who could not answer easily. Silence flowed. Eventually, Schuden let out a low sigh. He had never sighed like that even when the enemy reinforcement was suddenly increased on the battlefield when he was still an heir. 

“Valia.”

Schuden pulled Valia into his arms. She was embraced with no resistance. He bent his back slightly to look at her and opened his mouth as if he was confessing his sin.

“I have only briefly dated Lady Eve in the past.”

“I see.”

“So, please don’t suspect me. There’s no need for that.”

“What do I suspect?”

“Aren’t you suspecting that I had a deep relationship with her?”

“…Deep relationship?”

“I mean, sleeping with her.”

“What?”

Valia reflexively looked over Schuden’s shoulder. Fortunately, Paul and the employees were walking slowly like tortoises from a distance. It was a distance where it was impossible for them to hear her, but Valia still lowered her voice.

“It’s not like that!”

“…Then, why do you keep praising her appearance?”

You’re not even being jealous.

Schuden swallowed the last sentence.

“I just remembered that Lady Eve was pretty so I just said it as it is. Platinum blonde is not common so I was just amazed.”

Schuden frowned in response to Valia’s answer.

“I prefer dark hair.”

Valia blinked her eyes. She muttered slowly.

“…No wonder.”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing. When should we go to the study?”

Schuden frowned. It was obvious that she was changing the topic but the topic right now was not very good for him to question closely. Schuden wanted to get away from this topic as soon as possible. He took Valia’s hand as usual. Fortunately for Schuden, Valia did not decline.

She took his hand and slightly moved her gaze as she walked. She caught her black hair fluttering across her chest in her eyes. Valia could have gotten excited when Schuden said he liked dark hair, but there was one story that came to mind first.

After rumors circulated that Schuden was in love with Yeri, there was a topic that popped up in high society. What made Marquess Garth fall in love with the Crown Princess? As she was a separate entity from the existing ladies, there were many things that were assumed. One of them was dark hair that barely exceeded her shoulders.

All of the ladies in Gel grew their hair up. Only Yeri’s hair was uniquely short. Her short hair looked so confident. Valia also thought that she looked pretty. Of course, she could only think of that. She wondered if someone could fall in love because of subdivided parts like that, but now that she looked at it, it seemed that Schuden had a preference for it.

“Schu.”

Valia lightly waved Schuden’s hand.”

“I have a question.”

Schuden’s hand stiffened slightly. If it was about Louise, he was nervous about what to do.

“When I said she was pretty, why did you relate it with… a deep relationship?”

“…Oh.”

Among the women Schuden had met in the past, there were those who had such mindsets. They mentioned his ex-lovers and implicitly added compliments such as pretty or seductive. At first, he thought it was jealousy so he ignored it.

He later found out that it was a kind of sounding out. When Schuden was not interested in sleeping together even when they wore seductive clothes, they were devastated. They wanted to know what kind of women Schuden had slept with.

He rarely observed women carefully so the memories he relied on were fragmentary. Still, he could tell whether she was jealous or not, and his wife in front of him was definitely not jealous. Of course, he did not even say this. Schuden was very tactful, so much so that he knew she was not. He could just feign ignorance.

“I’m just guessing.”

“…Don’t just guess something like that.”

Even as Louise walked away, Valia thought that she had such shiny hair. She was a lovely lady even at first glance. The reason Valia was able to bring up Louise so casually was because she knew that Schuden did not develop a deep relationship with her. Just as she was his first, she was also his first. There were many women who coveted this muscular and firm body but Valia was the only one who actually had it.

Besides, there was no way Schuden loved Louise. Based on what Valia had observed, Schuden was a man who would have proceeded for marriage without delay if he ever got a woman he loved. It was a little odd, but this was the reason why Valia did not have much jealousy when she looked at Louise. Schuden did not give his body and feelings to another woman.

So, Valia was no different than usual. Schuden was the only one who felt strange. He was concerned about how she looked the same as usual even when they had dinner and went to bed together. He would rather she be jealous. But she was not. She did not even ask about this and that so even that was unbearable.   

Schuden looked down at Valia silently. She was already asleep. He stared at her flushed cheeks, then brushed away the messy hair around her forehead. He had never attached any meaning to someone’s hair color but black hair now made Schuden think of Valia.

‘Platinum hair?’

It was only after listening to Valia today that she remembered that Louise had platinum blonde hair. He had almost forgotten about Louise. To be honest, he also thought that it was fortunate that Valia brought up Louise’s name first. When he heard Valia talk about the woman in his past, Schuden could not immediately grasp who she was talking about.

After dating many women for a while, Schuden and Louise quickly broke up. The last time he met Louise was a year ago. He had not dated since then, but before that, he had dated a few times. It was not out of indecent curiosity, he had no interest in such things. Schuden was a man who had never understood the love between a man and a woman.

If the one he hated was his grandfather, then the one he could not understand was his parents. This lack of understanding was particularly focused on his father’s side. His father was a contradictory man. Schuden heard he ran away because he became disillusioned with the family that neglected all values other than gold. But did he want Schuden to be born, who inherited that family’s blood? Of course, Schuden could never get to ask him that question. His father died of an illness shortly before Schuden was born.

One thing was certain. No matter how passionately his parents were in love at that time, there was no trace of such love in his mother after his father’s death. Only the longing for the dead remained to some extent. He did not think much about it because his mother said so herself. 

His parents gave birth to him for a love that would fade so faintly in just a few years. And the former Marquess Garth came to pick him up because he was still of Garth’s blood.

It had only been a tragedy since then.

Schuden actually wanted to ask one question. If they had known in advance that he was the culprit that would take many lives in a few years, would they have given birth to him still? He could not even guess because he could not hear the answer.

Schuden was not the type of person to blame himself. Carrying and dragging around were two different things. However, he was clearly aware that the beginning of numerous deaths was ultimately because of him. It was ridiculous that this sinful and disillusioned life began only because of the love between a man and a woman.

It was for this reason that he dated. Because of cynical curiosity—What the hell was love? Why did it make people act to that extent?

He had this attitude the whole time he dated, so there was nothing left. The only problem was that he did not know what Valia was thinking right now. She was obviously smiling. She did not seem very angry. Usually, a woman would get angry when they were in a situation like this and slap the man.

‘Does she not feel bad?’

Schuden could not fathom how Valia was feeling. She was someone who did not change her expression very much outside of bed. It was difficult to guess so Schuden tried to reverse the situation as a temporary measure. He imagined if Valia had a lover from her past. Schuden’s expression was distorted at once.

‘I feel awful.’

Even just assuming it, he felt so bad. But there were some things that needed to be followed. If another noble brought the man from Valia’s past in front of him at the Imperial banquet…

‘I feel very bad.’

If that happened, two bodies would need to be removed from the grand banquet hall that day. Schuden’s expression rotted away. He lightly touched Valia’s soft cheek.

‘Does it not matter to her?’

Does she feel bad but is pretending to be okay? Or is it really nothing to her?

Neither felt very pleasant, Schuden could not sleep until late.