The World Has Problems

When I was in college before, I tried to live as my parents liked, trying to be a bright and cheerful person.

I have done a lot of things, experienced a lot of things, and tried to do everything in my hands.

But unfortunately, in the long-term social entertainment, I increasingly find myself resisting and disgusting this kind of staggered entertainment.

The more I tried to change myself, the more distorted and miserable I became.

Eventually, I realized that writing is probably the only life that suits me.

No boring people pointing fingers, no need to waste your time socializing with a group of people who may never meet again.

Since then, the more I write, the more I find myself enjoying being alone.

Maybe not like being alone.

Instead, he likes to be alone in a quiet world, tapping the keyboard lightly, letting each character and story be woven into a dream in his own hands.

I like the feeling of being immersed in a story.

It seems to me that only that state of total immersion, total ecstasy, can brighten my life.

I am not the lucky one who can stand on the finish line at birth, I am just a member of the general public, the "eight" in the "[-] rule".

For a person like me, the normal trajectory of life should be to find a stable job, and under the dual pressure of society and life, try to squeeze out a smile and deal with everyone.

Then, after decades of ignorance, I don't know what I have done, and I look back and find that I have achieved nothing.

Maybe even a cemetery can't afford it...

I am so ordinary, and I am so ordinary.

I'm not even funny.

I am not interested in most of the entertainment, and the various games, travel, chess and cards that people can have fun playing make me lack interest.

Netizens are addicted to crazy online games and mobile games, for me it can only maintain a sense of freshness for a while.

As an otaku, it seems like I should be addicted to games and buy a bunch of them to play.

But alas, I found that even playing games was such a luxury for me.

No matter how interesting the game is, I can only play it for a while. After the novelty is over, I will feel bored, boring, and boring, and then give up.

I played The Witcher [-] for two hours and never opened it again.

Assassin's Creed played for an hour and a half, same treatment.

Even those online games that are very popular, such as eating chicken and League of Legends, can only keep me interested for a while.

Even watching cartoons seems too boring to me.

I'm a lazy and unfun old man.

For me, the only embellishment in life is probably only novels.

When I wake up every morning, brush my teeth and wash my face on time, and finish breakfast, the first thing I do is turn on the computer.

I love the feeling of coding, especially when the plot reaches an exciting climax, my whole body and spirit get excited.

But that's all there is to it.

The monotonous old man turns on the computer every morning, and sometimes stares at the blank interface of the writing software for a day, but can only write a few numbers.

For me, whether it's when I'm in good shape and can type a lot of words, or when I'm in a terrible state and can't write a single word, the result is actually the same - I do nothing but sit in front of the writing software. Neither did.

I couldn't go out to exercise, I couldn't call my friends for a big drink, I couldn't even watch even an interesting episode of movie animation.

Sometimes, I really envy those friends who can play games for a long time.

But even so, I don't hate this feeling of loneliness.

Because only in such loneliness, can I fully immerse myself in the world of the story, constantly think about the development direction of the story, and then write the most suitable plot.

In the past five years, I have barely written a book with a complete ending.

There are not only the reasons for my lack of personal ability, but also many practical factors.

People like me often don't know how to continue writing for a long time once there are changes in real life that affect the rhythm of writing.

When I write in that state of empty head, if I'm not careful, my writing is really crooked and broken.

Then the plot exploded, trying to circle back, but it exploded even more.

In the end, it was completely broken, and after indescribable entanglement and struggle, it gave a miserable ending.

This feeling annoys me.

So, I have enjoyed the loneliness of the past year.

Because I no longer have to worry about unimportant things, I can spend more time on writing.

I could lock myself in a room all day, not say a word to my family at all, be mute all day, just because talking to my family might interrupt my ongoing train of thought.

I enjoy this kind of loneliness, and I like this kind of loneliness.

Because it is this lonely year that allows me to devote myself to writing, so that my mind does not have to think too much about things that have nothing to do with writing.

I have a lot of time to think about how the next plot should be written to be good-looking and shocking.