Madam, I Really Like You More.
Page 226
Hasegawa thought so, and then flipped through Saikiza Yoshiki's novel.
Just as soon as he opened it, Hasegawa couldn't help frowning, because the purpose of entry was a lot of settings, pure settings, and no story content at all.Hasegawa quickly flipped through a few pages, and the settings are still the same as before, the settings for the characters, the settings for the story, the settings for the power system, the settings for the worldview, etc.
After turning through more than ten pages in a row, finally, the setting in this guy's novel finally came to an end.
Hasegawa raised his head and glanced at Yoshiki Zaikiza, who was looking at Hasegawa nervously, even sweating on his forehead.
Read on.
It's just that although this is the beginning of the story, Hasegawa couldn't help frowning again, because, let's not talk about other things, what is the order of this kind of messy sentences?The way of speaking is upside down, and the sentences are not smooth at all.Then, there are quite a few typos.
In addition to typos, Hasegawa found that there are also many words that are difficult to write or read.Even Hasegawa still feels particularly jerky and blunt when reading it.
Frowning, he raised his head and looked up at Yoshiki Saikiza again. This guy seemed to be even more nervous, and his fat palms kept wiping the sweat off his face.
Bear with it, Hasegawa said to himself, and continued to read.The boring plot is flat, without any waves at all. I want to deliberately write a sense of humor, but when I read it, I don’t feel any sense of humor at all. Instead, I find it boring and boring. Hasegawa simply can’t calm down to read this novel .
Finally, Hasegawa couldn't bear it anymore and put down the novel.
"Well, Hasegawa, how about my novel?" Saikiza Yoshiki looked at Hasegawa nervously and expectantly.
"How should I put it, actually, I'm not very willing to speak." Hasegawa hesitated a little: "Because, it's very, very bad. This is the worst novel I've ever read."
When Saikiza Yoshiki heard Hasegawa's comment, his complexion changed, and his plump right hand pressed his undulating chest.
"First of all, the format of the novel is completely wrong. This is a novel, not a game description. Why do you write so many settings at the beginning of the novel? It makes people have no interest in reading it." Hasegawa said mercilessly .
"Well, I, I just, I just want everyone to know, know the setting in the previous novel, after all, if readers don't know the setting in my novel, they will feel inexplicable, yes, I'm all for It’s just to make readers understand my novel.” Saikiza Yoshiki quibbled.
"Couldn't it be possible to substitute these settings into the story when telling the story? Substituting a little bit and revealing the setting a little bit will not only make readers feel less boring when reading, but will even arouse readers' curiosity. Did you not expect this approach? Or, you simply don’t have the confidence to write well?” Hasegawa said unceremoniously: “I’m sorry, I may have spoken a little more directly. But, I think, in your current situation, It is a serious illness, so it needs serious treatment. I need to clarify your problem first, and then how do you change it? Or maybe you don’t want to write a novel. Whatever you do is good, at least you can recognize your own situation earlier.” Hasegawa said Said to Saikiza Yoshiki.
Hikiya Hachiman, who originally thought Hasegawa's way of speaking was a bit vicious, suddenly realized when he heard Hasegawa's words.
Thinking about it, what Hasegawa said seems to be correct.At least let Zaikiza Yoshiki realize his true strength, so that he can make choices based on his own strength.
Thinking about Zaikiza Yoshiki's character, Hikiya Hachiman felt that if Hasegawa's way of speaking was a little more tactful, Zaikiza Yoshiki probably wouldn't listen to him.
"So, Zaikiza, do you want me to continue?" Hasegawa looked at Zaikiza Yoshiki and asked.
Saikiza Yoshiki frowned, looking like he was thinking hard, and finally looked at Hasegawa, then at Hikigaya Hachiman, and Hikigaya Hachiman nodded at Zaikiza Yoshiki.
"Okay, okay. You—you continue to admonish—you continue to talk. I, I'm listening." Saikiza Yoshiki had a resolute expression, as if he was about to step on the guillotine to die heroically.This guy really will add drama to himself.
Hasegawa rolled his eyes: "In addition to the setting at the beginning, your sentence usage is also very inappropriate, giving people a feeling of confusion and chaos. You, high school, no, junior high school or even elementary school Didn’t you study Chinese well when you were young? I feel that even a composition written by a middle school student or even an elementary school student may be smoother than yours.”
Saikiza Yoshiki once again covered his undulating chest, with a painful look on his face.
"Then, typos, some of the most basic words are not accurate. You should go back to the middle school, no, it is the elementary school to learn from the heart."
Saikiza Yoshiki was already kneeling on the ground.
"Also, why do you use a lot of uncommon words in the text? Readers don't know or understand uncommon words. Why do you write this? Do you want to test your readers? Sorry, I think your article , probably there will be no readers..."
Saikiza Yoshiki had already got down on the ground.
"Also, you should have read light novels, but, why, do you have to arrange the plot of your story like this? Don't tell me about the novelty, why do you set up your story like this? Old-fashioned, bloody, even already You use so many and so frequent plots that are disgusting to watch. If your writing is good, it’s fine if you can write new ideas from old-fashioned content, but you don’t have this ability at all..."
"and also……"
Hasegawa unceremoniously pointed out the mistakes in Yoshiki Saikiza's writing.
Looking at Zaikiza Yoshiki like this.To be honest, Hasegawa felt a little guilty, and he was not a particularly vicious person.The reason for this.On the one hand, Hasegawa really doesn't like the weird secondary school image of Yoshiki Zaikiza.Another point is that, for a person who is relatively fond of reading, reading a piece of content is very bad, and even feels disgusting like shit.I really can't control my emotions.
Furthermore, Hasegawa also felt that Zaikiza Yoshiki should recognize himself earlier.Either learn to write from scratch, or start changing lines now, without delaying himself.
Just like the original Yuigahama Yui.Hasegawa knew that there was no benefit for her to continue studying in school, so Hasegawa made this point very clear, and let Yubihama Yui choose her favorite career, and finally Yubihama Yui chose to step into the entertainment circle.
So, for the sake of Yoshiki Saikiza being a friend of Hikiya Hachiman, Hasegawa directly pointed it out like this.As for why not be more tactful?Hehe, a boy who is obese and has a particularly habitual behavior, is tactful to him?I'm really sorry, Hasegawa can't do it.
"For the time being, let's talk about this first." Hasegawa finally softened his heart. Looking at the appearance of Saikiza Yoshiki who had suffered a major blow, Hasegawa shook his head, and finally chose to stop, leaving more than half of the shortcomings, Still don't say it.
"Ah! I won't give up. Hasegawa-sama! This general will remember your advice for the time being, but this general will never admit defeat. Wait for me, and I will come to you again." Cai Muzuo This guy Yihui jumped up suddenly, yelled at Hasegawa, then turned around and ran out.
Looking at this guy's figure, Hasegawa was a little speechless. This kind of person's face is really thick enough, and Hasegawa felt that his venomous tongue was too harsh.But this guy actually resisted it completely. Is it because he has a big nerve, or is he thick-skinned enough?
"I'm sorry Hasegawa, Zaimuko, he has a thick skin." Hikigu Hachiman said to Hasegawa embarrassedly.
"It doesn't matter. Although Cai Muzao's novels are not about anything, his perseverance is not bad. After all, he can persist in writing so many words without being recognized by anyone."
Chapter 59 Yuihama Yui is back
To be honest, although Zaikiza Yoshiki left a deep impression on Hasegawa, Hasegawa didn't take him too seriously.
Only once, on the way from school.When Hasegawa encountered a sneaky guy who seemed to be following his Yoshiki Zaimuka, Hasegawa felt a bit of a headache, and Hasegawa probably understood that this guy might want to teach him how to write novels, so he just But this guy's personality is so awkward, or in the second grade, so I'm a little embarrassed to come forward.
For this situation, Hasegawa really felt quite speechless, either he came up to ask for help, and Hasegawa didn't mind pointing out some of his problems, or he just walked away and followed behind stealthily, so what?
It's also fortunate that Hasegawa himself is a boy, otherwise he might be so frightened that he would call the police if he was followed by such a guy.
It's just that when Hasegawa thought of the word "call the police", he suddenly found two policemen appearing behind Yoshiki Zaikiza.Hasegawa was a little taken aback, are the Japanese police so powerful?
Seeing this situation, Hasegawa smiled.It would be nice for the police to give Yoshiki Timakiza a good lesson.Anyway, in the case of Saikiza Yoshiki, it was probably just a verbal lesson.
What Hasegawa thought was correct, however, it was a bit inaccurate.
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked Zaikiza Yoshiki.
"Huh? That, I, I, I, I am, I am with—"
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