It seems that the whole world is enjoying the joy of the festival, and the streets are full of joyful atmosphere.
Yet this joy, which seemed to infect the world, did not affect me.
As always, after getting off work from the company, I walked on the bustling streets of Tokyo. Instead of being excited because of the approaching Christmas, my mood became a little depressed.
About a month ago, Kaori, my girlfriend of five years, broke up with me.
The reason is very simple, it is nothing more than being unable to endure this kind of poverty, and wanting to live a free life of his own.After many times to no avail, I can only reluctantly give up this love.
It seems that even though I have been in Tokyo for more than ten years, I still haven't been able to fully integrate here.
When Kaori was dating me, her parents and friends were always against it.There is no other reason, just because I am a wage earner from China.
I don't have any outstanding academic qualifications. I am just an international student. I started as a low-level wage earner, studying hard while earning money.After a few years of work-study program and being admitted to Dongda University with excellent grades, life gradually improved.
In college, I met Kaori, that elf-like girl.
That was a junior year.In order to better integrate into this world-class big city, I have been trying my best to disguise myself as a knowledgeable person and try my best to cater to the faces of people around me. Thanks to this, I have met a lot in college Have a good time, my friend.
However, she is different.
In order to get a better relationship with my seniors, I chose to join the club where my seniors belonged.There, I met Kaori for the first time.
I greeted her with a smile, and said, "Please give me more advice."
Frowning, Kaori bit her lip and said in disgust.
"......hypocritical."
I thought I would get a polite response, but I turned pale with shock.Before she had time to determine if there was something wrong with her expression, Kaori was scolded by her senior.
Although I got an apology, her words kept echoing in my mind.
Back at the apartment and looking at myself in the mirror, I thought so.
hypocritical.
So, am I being hypocritical?
Yes, you are hypocritical.The self in the mirror replied.
That night, I vomited until the wee hours of the morning, as if I wanted to spit out my heart and lungs, just because I felt sick to myself.
After I stopped vomiting, I made up my mind to change myself.
......
After that, it took me a full month to reveal my true self that I had hidden for many years.And the price is that most of the people I thought were friends left in a blink of an eye, leaving only a few buddies.
Because we are in the same club, we are always doing activities together. By the time we realize it, our relationship has long since ceased to be awkward at the beginning, and we have become very good friends.
Then I realized that I fell in love with her.
Half a year later, I confessed to Kaori, and she blushed and accepted.
However, when her parents and friends learned about my background, they all firmly opposed her dating with me and asked us to break up as soon as possible.
In order to be with me, Kaori chose to run away from home and lived with me in a small apartment.
This stay is four years.
But so what?
When the love that happened to me, a foreigner from China, was about to mature, Kaori still chose to leave, what could I do?
Ten years of struggle seemed like a joke.
Maybe, I will find a girlfriend in the future, and I will live in my own house after the job gradually stabilizes and I have a financial foundation, but so what?
I have always been just an outsider that no one cherishes.
My eyes stayed on the screen outside the department store for a long time, and I touched my wallet again. I let out an imperceptible sigh and gave up the idea of going shopping.
There is still some food at home, so let's make a living first, maybe the things sold in the mall will be cheaper at Christmas tomorrow?
The new year is coming soon, and my life will become a little tight at this time of year.
New Year’s gift for Kaori, new clothes for Kaori, red envelope for Kaori, for Kaori... By the way, now that Kaori has returned to her own home, there is no need to give her these things anymore .
However, I have no intention of making my New Year's Eve more enjoyable because of it.Instead of wasting money on things like pleasure, save some money and save it for later when you buy a house.
For one person, a room of [-] square meters... No, a room of [-] square meters is more than enough, right?It's expensive, but I should be able to afford it before I become a complete old man.
After all, in a few years, after all the seniors in the company leave or get promoted, their salary and position will probably rise, and buying a house should not be a problem.
"Hey, Mr. Jian! Where are we going tonight?"
"Idiot, didn't you bring me here?"
"Hee hee hee, I just want to ask you~~~"
"I really lost to you..."
Suddenly, I noticed that there were more couples around me. I looked up and found that I had actually walked near the apartment.
There are also many love hotels near here.
Shaking my head, I threw out the distracting thoughts that came out of my mind, and I decided to just play outside all night tonight.
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