Becoming a Villain from the Bishop of Sin

Although the pain is still the same, so it means that if you want to die, you have to bear more pain than a normal person, but compared to the gains, he feels that it is still profitable.

....................

....................

Emnesia, who had always thought it was incredible, heard the numbers given by Luo Mo, which were even more unbelievable than what she had heard before, and her head was dizzy, and she doubted her hearing again.

However, in the ignorant trance, she still asked subconsciously:

"...The involuntary is...?"

"The involuntary ones are killed."

"... was killed?"

"I don't really remember the number you asked. If this is the reason..." Luo Mo thought for a while, and then replied solemnly:

"For a great purpose, it is inevitable to sacrifice life, whether it is my own or someone else's, but many people and their families cannot accept it, so naturally they have to seek revenge from me, right? So ah~ After all, there must be someone When a conflict occurs, and when the wound recovers too slowly, suicide is also required to speed up the healing, so it will be more convenient to move, right?"

"...The wound heals too slowly to commit suicide? Why...?" Emnesia couldn't understand his words at all.

Ke Luomo took it for granted, and explained with a smile:

"Anyway, you won't die. Suicide and resurrection can naturally become a shortcut. At least compared to waiting to die slowly, or enduring this kind of pain, suicide doesn't sound very good, but it's actually much easier. It's just like euthanasia. The reason is similar, right? When you think about it, if you can die immediately when your whole body is in pain, isn't it surprisingly easy?"

"But, but... that kind of... If you really die...how can you die completely...?"

"Then die, what else can I do?"

"But! If he really died, wouldn't everything be meaningless?!"

Emnesia never thought the idea of ​​disregarding or risking her life was handsome, and she couldn't even bear his indifference.

But he just looked at the girl in front of him who seemed to be angry, shook his head and said: "It's okay not to be so angry, it's just like what you said, these are meaningless."

"——How can it be meaningless?! Even if you did something wrong! Only if you are alive can you have a chance to go..."

"Wait! As I said in advance, I don't think I'm wrong." He suddenly interrupted Emnesia's words, just thought about it for a moment, and added: "Perhaps there were indeed such things in the early years. This kind of thinking, but now that I think about it, those things are actually irrelevant. It’s just the same if there is something wrong. If you want to get something, you have to sacrifice something. Isn’t this the truth of the world? In this case, the difference is only who is sacrificed.”

"....I....."

Emnesia couldn't understand his point of view at all.

She felt that this should be wrong, but Luo Mo didn't seem to care about the so-called right or wrong, she just acted according to her own ideas and her own righteousness.

However.... At this time, she also recalled another question on a whim.

At the moment when the atmosphere was so heavy that she could hardly breathe, she instinctively didn't want to talk about that aspect, so she immediately changed the subject:

"This, this... Does this have anything to do with your liking to drill into the closet?"

"Ah~ I'm just talking about this... No, it doesn't seem very long?" Mentioning this, Luo Mo's expression was a little subtle.

"That....."

"To be more specific, when I was nine years old, the village was slaughtered by a cult, and I was taken away half dead, and then became a cadre of a cult. Well, hard work may not be counted, because I am too childish I really wanted to do it, and after a while, I happened to be sleeping one day, and then..."

Halfway through the speech, he pointed to the wall beside the bed, and continued: "The wall suddenly smashed open, I was caught before I woke up, and after using the pain-enhancing magic, I was nailed like Jesus. On the cross... probably because the impression of dying for the first time was too deep, so I was not used to sleeping on the bed, but it also benefited from this, and it would be no big deal if I died in the future. Looking at it from this perspective Just getting used to death should be considered a good thing.”

"... At that time, you should be just a child, right? Why do those people want to..."

"I can't blame them, after all, I'm a cult member. If I really want to blame, I can only blame myself for not organizing the people to deal with them first." Luo Mo's face was full of regret, only hating himself at the beginning. Too young, not even knowing how to abide by the basic rules of survival, can't stop shaking his head:

"It's really self-inflicted to be in his position but not to seek his own government."

"...The point is this?"

"Huh? Otherwise what?"

"... Pain, grievance?"

"Ah~ If you are such an adult, if you still have such emotions, wouldn't it be too childish?"

"Yes, that's right..."

Emnesia, whose mind was already in chaos, nodded subconsciously at a loss, but didn't know what to say.

Luo Mo also lowered his head and looked at the table and fell into silence, which made the room suddenly surrounded by silence.

Emnesia opened her mouth many times, but she was forced to swallow again when she wanted to say something.

No matter how I sort out the information I heard, my head is still a mess, and I can't sort it out at all, and I can't say the right words.

And Luo Mo also felt that what he originally wanted to talk about should be something else, why did it become these?He himself was a little confused.

....................

It made people's backs straighten until it hurt, made people feel tense for no reason, and even in the oppressive atmosphere, Luo Mo fell into the situation where he could not speak when he was clearly in the situation that he should say for a long time.

Although he has done most of the things, it is the first time for him to talk about his own affairs to others, which should be a common thing.

After all, he never thought of asking others to understand him and know his past, because it was a bit like complaining, and it couldn't do anything except make enemies laugh and relatives and friends worry.

At most, it would serve as a confession. Is this really necessary for him?

He himself expressed doubts about this. Although talking about this kind of behavior can indeed relieve his mood, he still has to consider the things of the person he is talking to, and he doesn't know what his mood is.

Just staring out of the window with one hand on his chin and pondering for a long time, he noticed the old street outside the window...

There happened to be a tree under the moonlight, and the branches on the top of the tree were swaying in the cool wind, and his eyes could not help but follow the branches.

In this way, after a while, he finally chose to speak:

"Actually, you may not believe me when I tell you that I am chosen by God...Well, it will be more convenient for you to understand it this way."

"Ah, um. God...was chosen by God?" Emnesia's thoughts were pulled back, and she nodded blankly: "Isn't this a good thing?"

"Good thing?"

"It's not a good thing to be chosen by someone? Especially the words of God... Although I don't know exactly what kind of existence God is, but since you think it is a god, it must be very powerful, right? Shouldn't it be a good thing? "

"...Indeed, normality should be a good thing, but there are exceptions." Luo Mo shook his head and smiled: "Actually, I should have died a long time ago, but I was selected and survived; but living It doesn't mean that everything will develop in a good direction, after all, everything has a price."

"cost?"

"Yes, my price is to kill the god who has lived enough. Of course, it is impossible to do it at this stage, so ah...there is a so-called task, and the difficulty of the task is also troublesome. Many times There is no way not to die a few times; in order to live, don’t you have to force yourself to learn the necessary knowledge and skills? But now thinking about it, it’s not bad if you can die.”

There was no sadness, no loneliness, no anger in his words, as if he really didn't care about it at all.

"Oh, I digressed, I probably haven't been selected anyway, and occasionally I was selected, and I accidentally drew a lottery; but then again, I have been a human being in two lives, but I was abandoned in two lives. This kind of luck is really unreliable. Yay! It’s fine if the village is destroyed, I didn’t like it anyway, but I grew up in a cult, and every day there is a pervert who is too energetic and actively provides wake-up calls....”

Luo Mo calmly, with a little depression, stated his experience and thoughts.

This self-deprecating monologue made Emnesia unable to say anything, and the only thing she could do was to listen quietly.

....................

....................

Fighting is too meaningless, so Luo Mo never thought about fighting, but chose to compromise and obey.

In order to live a better life and not be made too miserable by others, I can only try to learn some things that I don't really want to learn, and reproduce various weapons and abilities with pain.

Since the day when the ghost village was shattered, he deviated from his ideals day after day, so he continued to consume his mind.

Fear and anger that could not be vented kept washing his heart, but he had no choice but to face the wrong choice and embark on the wrong path.

I have already lost the so-called calmness, lost motivation for all actions, unwilling to face my future, or... never thought about my future.

"...Wanting to be happy is certainly not a lie, but now, should I say it is the road or life? Maybe it's a lost way of living?" He looked at the deserted street scene outside the window, with a touch of emotion Saying:

"But these mistakes seem to be nothing. The 'future' is too extravagant for me. Anyway, I have to die after a while. It doesn't matter if I get used to it. After all, it's just killing and being killed. That's all, I just can't see the possibility of achieving liberation, so I have a little headache."

I have been working hard and working hard alone, but I don't know where the end is, suffering, worrying, and helpless, not knowing what to do.

Then after giving up, you can only continue to give up, isn't there only despair left in the end?

He gave up completely and looked for the end of the journey, because he didn't have that kind of thing himself.

Even an ordinary traveler has it, a place that he longs to return to, a place that he longs for, but he...

........

At the end of the long narration, Luo Mo cast his eyes out of the window until now, the dawn is about to rise but he is still on the street, full of excitement of returning home or resurrection, talking and laughing. He took a breath, shook his head and said:

"It's really hard to understand why they would do such a pointless thing."

"......what?"

"Don't look at the fact that they seem to have a good relationship on the surface, but that's really just a superficial thing; even if they see the same things, spend the same time, say the same things, and have roughly the same feelings. In fact, they are thinking about completely different things with completely different cognitions. They have completely different hearts and no connection. They communicate only because of survival needs. Why are they so stupid? Are you laughing?"

"...Aren't you always smiling too?"

"This situation is not the same." Luo Mo looked at those people who were happy from the heart, and also smiled: "I just think that there should be an expression, and it is always more convenient to do things with a smile, and their smile Well... it seems that we really feel how important the bond between each other is."

"You're talking like..."

"—The reason why people communicate is because they are social animals. They can only choose to cooperate in order to survive, but in fact they think about themselves, and they live to maximize their own interests."

"How is it possible! There is no talent..." Emnesia tried her best to refute, but Luo Mo interrupted again:

"Although some people will have so-called ties because of cooperation, it is actually just an illusion."

"You said...an illusion?"

"To put it simply, it's just that in the same situation, someone with the same interests happens to be a companion; although some people sacrifice their lives for this kind of thing, such as those hunters before, it's actually just a poor joke. If Being able to stand aside and observe, you can see how ridiculous those emotional bonds are."

This straightforward and unhurried reasoning is cold and empty without emotion.

Luo Mo may feel that he is right, but Emnesia feels that he himself does not seem to think so at all.

Or it seems that I am forcing myself to think so... Others may not be able to find out, but she who is always losing memory and traveling, and can still live well until now, can "see".

Honkai is hidden in his words, and what is reflected in his pupils is helpless distortion.

So she just looked at him quietly, sadly.

The greatest level of terror and despair occurs in a place beyond one's reach... in one's most important person, but oneself is completely unable to do anything.

The heart seemed to be shattered, it was like a big hole was opened in the heart, and the chest seemed to be pierced by thousands of needles at the same time, the pain seemed to be dying.

This outrageous and unreasonable tragedy made her so angry that she wanted to scream, but she couldn't make a sound.

Anger, sadness, and pain were intertwined, causing tears to drip uncontrollably.

"...I didn't cry, why are you crying?" Noticing that the girl looking at her kept crying, Luo Mo couldn't help being speechless.

"...Why don't you cry?" The girl slowly lowered her eyes.