Shi Jiu couldn't hold back anymore.
"But I dare not break through." Xiao Yusheng said in a low voice, his voice muffled, and he secretly turned his head to look at Shi Jiu.
Shi Jiu scratched his head: "Why? Is there any danger?"
Xiao Yusheng withdrew his gaze and shook his head: "I don't know what path to cultivate."
After hearing this, Shi Jiu understood the seriousness of the problem.As the saying goes, entering the wrong profession and marrying the wrong man are two major regrets in life. They are related to one's future development. Naturally, which path to choose is the most important thing, and it is worth careful consideration.
But Xiao Yusheng's answer surprised Shi Jiu: "Actually, I didn't think about what path to practice in the future, but once Master asked me what path to practice in the future. It's all right, just tell him, I want to practice swordsmanship."
"Because... I think they are all the same. Tianmen Mountain has the most comprehensive swordsmanship in the whole world. Fenglei Sword, Kurong Sword, Tianshu Sword... there are all kinds of swordsmanship. And I have read many and mixed sword manuals. I think I can go either way.”
Shi Jiu was dumbfounded. What Xiao Yusheng meant was that she no longer chose Tsinghua University or Peking University in the college entrance examination, but which major major she chose...
"The next day, the Supreme Elder and the sect leader called me over and asked me if I wanted to practice swordsmanship, and I said yes."
"As a result, the matter spread like this. They said that I want to cultivate the origin of swords, the origin of swordsmanship that includes all swords in the world."
Shi Jiu felt that he was too early just now.
At the beginning, she was hesitant about which major to choose, but her parents asked her to take all the degrees of all majors in the university...
"Because you are Tongming Jianxin?"
"Probably." Xiao Yusheng's voice was heavy, and these words seemed to be taking away her strength, "If I think about it for a while, maybe I will choose this path myself. But if it comes from them , I don't like it."
Shi Jiu hummed from time to time to show that he was listening.
"Besides, since the news spread that I want to practice the Unsurpassed Sword Way, I must practice the Supreme Sword Way, and I cannot practice other ways. If I practice other ways...Master will be very disappointed."
Shi Jiu hesitated to speak.
He understands too well: when parents say that their children want to be admitted to Peking University, it doesn't matter which school the child wants to go to.
"Are you afraid that your master will be disappointed?"
Xiao Yusheng nodded vigorously, and then tried to explain clumsily: "That's... If I didn't practice the Supreme Sword Art, Master would feel ashamed, and others would say that Xiao Yusheng boasted that he wanted to practice the Supreme Sword Art, but in the end he didn't practice it casually. This way...then they will say it in front of the master, and the master will be very sad...if it is because of me that the master feels ashamed, I...in short, it is not very good."
"But no one knows what the Supreme Sword Dao is... No one knows what it is, they guessed it by themselves..."
"I understand, I understand..." Shi Jiu took a deep breath and covered his face in pain.
He wasn't listening to Xiao Yusheng complaining, he was listening to Xiao Yusheng execute him.
After Xiao Yusheng opened the chatter box, he seemed to be unable to stop: "Besides, if this is the case, the practice will become very boring, and practicing swords will not be fun."
"It's that kind... I want to practice swordsmanship, and I'm already on my way. But suddenly someone said to me, you go to practice swords-I was very interested in it at first, but when they said that, I didn't have the motivation gone."
Seemingly afraid that Shi Jiu would not understand, Xiao Yusheng tried hard to describe the feeling: "In this way, from what I want to do to what others ask me to do, the feeling is very different. If I decide to do it myself Cultivating the Supreme Sword, it will be very fun during the practice, and I will be very happy if I complete it in the end. But if they let me practice..."
Xiao Yusheng paused, and said in a low voice: "Everything has become very boring. Cultivation is very boring. Even if I finally complete it, I feel that I have finally completed the task instead of doing something."
Shi Jiu nodded: "Have you explained it to them?"
Xiao Yusheng fell into the longest silence since Shi Jiu knew her.
The evening wind was blowing, pulling Xiao Yusheng's long hair very long in the wind.
"I don't want to explain." Xiao Yusheng sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees, "They think they want to teach me well, so they have to teach me everything."
"I used to like swords very much, so I learned the way of swordsmanship. But they wanted to teach me everything, but they didn't tell me what to do."
There seemed to be a contradiction between Xiao Yusheng's two sentences, but Shi Jiu felt that she might not have slipped the tongue: "I understand—they will guide you every step of your practice, but the way of guidance is to tell you what you must not do? "
Xiao Yusheng once again looked at Shi Jiu with surprised eyes: "How do you know?"
Shi Jiu laughed: "You guess?"
Xiao Yusheng wrinkled his nose and thought for a while, then asked reluctantly, "Because you're smart?"
Shi Jiu's eyes faltered: "Because my parents were like this when I was young... and from the time you first said it, I felt very familiar..."
They are all people who are poisoned by patriarchalism!
Chapter 50 Chapter 48 A Poor Xiao
Shi Jiu felt that Xiao Yusheng looked at him with pity.
Wait, aren't we talking about your question?Why are you pitying me?
"There is actually a special term for this thing called [Sense of Accomplishment Deprivation]. In short, it means washing the dishes alone. After washing, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You feel that you are really good at doing housework on your own initiative. This sense of accomplishment will push him to take the initiative to do it next time - but if he is ordered by others to do something, the sense of accomplishment will turn into a sense of exhaustion after completing the task. I will remember the fatigue from last time."
"And especially when a person is suddenly ordered to do the dishes when he wants to do the dishes, he will not only suffer from fatigue, but also suffer from the frustration of being deprived of the sense of accomplishment-this is called the sense of accomplishment. deprivation."
"That's probably the case with you."
Xiao Yusheng put his face on his knees, staring at Shi Jiu's face in a daze: "Don't listen to me, listen to yours."
Shi Jiu scratched his head and smiled wryly: "I...may be a little different from you. When I was young, my mother liked to order people, but she claimed that it was not an order - of course it doesn't matter, the important thing is that when I want to do my homework, She told me to do my homework; when I wanted to sweep the floor, she told me to sweep the floor... In the end, everything I wanted to do became what she ordered me to do. Without her, I'm just a waste who can't do my homework and sweep the floor."
"And often when I have already started to do my homework, she will come to me and sit down next to me and tell me that I must study hard. The future of the family depends on me. My parents are working hard outside, so tired. It's for me..."
"When I was eating, I just picked up a piece of meat and wanted to eat it. She quickly said: Xiao Jiu, eat meat, eat meat."
"I wanted to eat vegetables after eating this piece of meat, but she scolded me before I ate vegetables, saying that I was not in good health and coughed in the middle of the night and couldn't do my homework because I ate meat and asked me to eat more Order. She doesn't reason with me and takes pride in it."
"Just... everything I do seems to be done under her command, and I feel very powerless. I was still very young at that time, and I wanted to explain, but she didn't listen, and said to me: You live in my house I will provide for you to support you, what's the matter with you?"
"Then she will tell me that my mother just loves nagging when she is old, and it's all for your own good."
"What she meant was to tell me that she would not change and let me endure. And she felt that she gave a very good reason, that is, she was getting old."
Having said that, Shi Jiu sadly gnawed on the chicken leg.
Dead memories suddenly start attacking me.jpg
And during this period, Xiao Yusheng stared at Shi Jiu's side face without blinking, seeing that he was uncomfortable, said in a low voice: "If you feel uncomfortable, don't say it, it's poor..."
The most tormenting thing in this world is nothing more than when others think that there is no difference between whether you have attained the Tao and become an immortal or you have already achieved the Tao and become an immortal. They start to demand you with the standards of an immortal even though you have not attained the Tao.
If you can't, they don't criticize you, they just look at you with pity and disbelief.You want to ask them not to look at you like that, but you can't say it because they didn't scold you or beat you, they just pity you.
For this kind of matter, Xiao Yusheng felt that he had the right to speak.No wonder Shi Jiu can guess what's on his mind with just a guess. It turns out that his childhood experience is similar to his own.
Xiao Yusheng suddenly became sympathetic to each other.
"No, I still have to say." Shi Jiu swallowed the chicken leg meat, "After they passed away, I suddenly realized something."
"If I don't listen to them, it's not a problem. After all, life is my own, I don't live it for them. If they need something that lives for them, a dog is not much better than me gone?"
"Not at all." Xiao Yusheng comforted Shi Jiu seriously, "I think you are much more useful than a dog."
Shi Jiu looked at Xiao Yusheng with a stiff neck, but he couldn't feel any malice when he looked at her pure eyes.
"I, I, I didn't mean that." Xiao Yusheng also knew that he had said something wrong, blushing and shrinking his neck, "I mean, you must be much better than a dog."
Shi Jiu covered his face, not knowing whether to laugh or cry: "If you just endure it, others will only think you are obedient, and being obedient means that when the balance is destined to be unbalanced, an obedient and obedient child must make concessions."
"Because a well-behaved and obedient child meets two elements: being unable to beat an adult, and not being able to resist, so when faced with unfair treatment, they can only swallow their anger and let others bully them."
"Now I have made my own way, and I don't rely on them, and they won't care about me underground."
"I don't know what your situation is, anyway, that's how I am."
Shi Jiu spread out his hands, lay down on the tile, and smashed it on the spot.
"That's great..." Xiao Yusheng leaned on his chin, stared at Shi Jiu ecstatically, and made a dreamy voice, "But this is not so good..."
Shi Jiu stretched his waist: "Yusheng, I just asked you why you didn't explain to Master that you didn't practice Supreme Sword Art, and you said you didn't want to explain—do you think it would be pointless to explain, or are you too lazy to explain? ?”
"It doesn't make sense to explain it, he won't listen..." Xiao Yusheng replied aggrievedly, "He would just use various reasons to tell me that it won't work."
Shi Jiu raised his head: "Then what will do?"
Xiao Yusheng said with three points of resentment: "What he proposed is OK, but what I said is not OK. Even if he can't find a reason to refute me, he still has to pick out a lot of problems in front of me in the direction I chose. And told me it was giving me clarity on the path I've chosen."
"But I don't need him to tell me how difficult the road ahead is. I just hope he can tell me how to solve it if I encounter difficulties." Xiao Yusheng's voice gradually quieted down, and the sadness in his voice had reached the point where it was useless to cover up "But he never taught me this, the implication is that he asked me to listen to him."
Shi Jiu turned over.
It is said that the older a person is, the more stubborn he becomes, but he did not expect that the same applies to people who cultivate the Tao...
"Admittedly, I have to admit that older people are indeed rich in experience and knowledgeable." Shi Jiu sighed, "Their self-confidence comes from their own personal experience, which is easy to understand. Perhaps their purpose is not to deny you , but think that you are very smart, and you must understand that they want to check for you and fill in the gaps, so that you are ready to face the difficulties on the chosen path."
"I know, I know they are doing it for my own good." Xiao Yusheng hugged his knees and stared blankly at the night sky, "So I have no reason to deny what he said. I can only listen to what he said."
"Master taught me to practice. I shouldn't complain to him. This is unfilial. But I am always unhappy in Tianmen Mountain."
"The disciples in the school always said how powerful I was, and I couldn't talk to them well. Later, I didn't want to talk to them anymore, because their tone and expression when they talked to me made me feel uncomfortable."
"I'm not saying that they are rude, but they are too polite and always say good things to me. But I think they are lying to me and comforting me. Because before that, no matter what I did, Master Everyone thinks I’m not good enough. If I’m good enough, he takes it for granted that I should be able to do it.”
A supper turned into a complaint meeting, and a Xiao Yusheng turned into Xiao Poor.
Shi Jiu cautiously asked: "May I ask, what is your master's cultivation level?"
"Peak of the sixth rank." Xiao Yusheng said without hesitation, "He said that I will definitely be able to reach the eighth rank, and maybe even the ninth rank. But I don't think it matters. Swords are boring."
Shi Jiu understood: "Because your master thinks that you are an enlightened sword heart, it is only natural that you stand out among all the people?"
But Xiao Yusheng didn't seem to want to answer this question: "If you say... I mean if you say that some people only like me with a bright sword heart, some people only like me who is gluttonous, and some people only like me who is quiet and silent. Then in their In my eyes, as long as I'm not doing something they like, I'm wasting their time."
"I'm not a swordsman who can only dance swords, but in their eyes I should be a swordsman who is very good at dancing swords. Once I stop practicing swords, there is something wrong with me."
"It's the kind where everyone stares at you with shocked and strange eyes, as if... as if I am a monster if I don't practice swords."
"I really like to practice swords, but sometimes I also want to do other things. But when I do other things, they look at me with that kind of eyes, which is very uncomfortable."
"Later, I gradually stopped doing things other than sword practice, because it would only make me uncomfortable in the end."
Xiao Yusheng lowered his head, his voice tired.
Looking at Xiao Yusheng who was in a jade state, Shi Jiu couldn't help reaching out and stroking her head.
It feels good to the touch, fluffy like a kitten, and the hair is also very moist...
Xiao Yusheng turned his head sideways and squinted at Shi Jiu.Although she didn't resist, Shi Jiu felt that she was not used to it.
A little doubt appeared in Xiao Yusheng's eyes, after thinking about it, he buried his face in his arms again.
"Actually, Tianmen Mountain is not that bad. Everyone is friendly and treats me very well." Xiao Yusheng's voice was muffled, "It's just me...I'm not very good."
Seeing that Xiao Yusheng didn't refuse, Shi Jiu continued to tease Xiao: "What's wrong with you? You are beautiful, with high cultivation, promising future, hard background, and good at eating..."
Xiao Yusheng seemed a little anxious: "This is not an advantage!"
"This is my advantage." Shi Jiu boasted without shame, "Knowing how to eat is a skill. Let me tell you, this thing is innate, and others can't learn it even if they want to learn it."
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