Reluctantly Willing

Chapter 101: Calm and Cold

Gu Jun waited at home. The days passed, but there was no significant news regarding An Xiaoyan. The spy said that An Xiaoyan stayed in an apartment in the north. He basically stayed indoors all day and occasionally went outside to throw out the garbage. It was unknown what he was doing.

He’d wait a bit longer. An Xiaoyan must hate him now. They could talk after they’d both calmed down.

One day, two days…An Xiaoyan didn’t go out for five days in a row, but the spy said that An Xiaoyan hadn’t thrown out the garbage in two days.

Garbage meant that the person was still alive. Gu Jun was clear what the absence of garbage meant.

When he reached the bottom of the apartment, he looked at the old building and went up without hesitation.

He knocked like a landlord and An Xiaoyan opened the door quickly. The moment the door opened, Gu Jun slipped inside.

“What are you doing here? Leave!”

An Xiaoyan’s tone was still unfriendly, but Gu Jun thought that it had improved a lot. At least, it wasn’t “get the f*ck out.”

“I think we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Gu Jun didn’t give up. “Can’t you just listen to my explanation?”

The atmosphere grew tense. After a long while, An Xiaoyan said, “Why don’t you consider it from my perspective?”

“I am. That’s why I didn’t want you to know. The old man is forcing me to get married. What can I do?”

An Xiaoyan stopped speaking. He felt like his words were useless.

“Go. I have things to do.”

Gu Jun didn’t want to be in An Xiaoyan’s way. He said, “Contact me after you think it through,” and left.

He’d wanted to give An Xiaoyan a chance, but he was still the one that got hurt.

After a few days, An Xiaoyan was sure that his health was okay and went to the Liu family according to the address from Liu Cheng.

The Liu family was a large family. They had a house in the wealthy district. An Xiaoyan stood outside the door for a long while before ringing the bell.

A servant opened the door. Seeing An Xiaoyan, she inquired about his business there. Upon learning that he was here to give something, she had him wait in the living room.

A while later, a fifty-something-year-old man walked downstairs. He looked similar to Liu Cheng. As soon as he arrived, An Xiaoyan hurriedly stood up.

He’d seen so much now, so he wasn’t intimidated.

“What are you here for?”

“There’s something important to give you.”

“What?” Liu Lianxun thought back but couldn’t remember anything about this man. He didn’t reject him directly though.

“These are Liu Cheng’s ashes. He passed away on the 14th. His lawyer gave it to me.”

At the mention of Liu Cheng, Liu Lianxun’s expression changed. He waved his hand to make An Xiaoyan leave.

“In his will, he asks that you please take it.”

Liu Lianxun tossed away the thing that An Xiaoyan gave him. “I don’t have an immoral son like him. You’re probably no good either.”

“Uncle, Liu Cheng is a good person. You must’ve misunderstood him.”

“Misunderstood? He personally told me he has AIDS. How would he get that disease if he didn’t mess around?”

He was right and An Xiaoyan didn’t know how to refute him. Liu Lianxun’s aura was too powerful. An Xiaoyan had no confidence.

This stalemate wouldn’t do. An Xiaoyan placed the ashes on the table. “Uncle, he’s already passed away. Just take it for the memory.”

When An Xiaoyan walked out of the Liu family home, he felt that the sun was blinding. If he were to suddenly pass away, he didn’t even have friends to go and notify his parents.

As soon as An Xiaoyan left, Liu Lianxun collapsed onto the sofa. He stared incredulously at the box on the table.

Cold sweat beaded on his forehead. He couldn’t believe that his only child had died.

Last time he saw him, Liu Cheng had confessed that he’d contracted AIDS and he’d yelled at his son. He didn’t regret it until Liu Cheng left. Later, he’d asked many doctors. They said that AIDS had a dormant period. If he took medicine and had routine checkups, he could live a few decades without any problems.

Without any problems? All that remained were ashes now.

…

The next morning, An Xiaoyan took Fifth Dumpling on the way back to the island. He didn’t know that all his actions were under Gu Jun’s surveillance.

He first rode the train and then the ferry. Before leaving, he’d had Ji Lin help water the plants in his apartment. Ji Lin was reliable, so it should have no problems.

When he put his things down, An Xiaoyan went to the rooftop and ran into the landlord.

“A few days ago, a fellow came to help you, but I was back, so I told him to go back. You’ve taken good care of the flowers. You’re the first one who kept his promise.”

An Xiaoyan replied politely, but the landlord stuffed some vegetables into his hands. These were freshly picked. If he didn’t eat them, they’d go bad. There were also some tomatoes and cucumbers.

After thanking the landlord, An Xiaoyan went downstairs to clean up.

He hadn’t been back in a dozen days, so there was a moldy smell. He opened the windows for circulation. Fifth Dumpling jumped around on the windowsill. This scared An Xiaoyan, so he tossed it into the bedroom.

Meow.

“I know you’re lonely, but you still have me. I have you too. We can accompany each other.”

Fifth Dumpling knew that it couldn’t live a rich life with its owner, but this life seemed good enough.

When he returned to work, Ji Lin immediately noticed that something was wrong. It had taken a while for An Xiaoyan to finally seem alive, but now his eyes carried a story again.

“How come you were gone for so long? Did something happen?”

An Xiaoyan shook his head. He put on gloves to take a cat’s temperature. He didn’t want to talk about Gu Jun. His heart was like dead ashes now. No spark would ignite it.

Ji Lin could tell there was definitely a problem and it was something big. An Xiaoyan was very similar to how he was the first time they met.

“Uh, if you’re not in the mood, you can go home and come tomorrow. You’re so busy today.”

“I’m okay. I’ll focus on the work.”

He was still stubborn, so Ji Lin didn’t ask more questions. After taking the cat’s temperature, An Xiaoyan wiped its face with a towel. “What kind of store has the lowest expenses?” he asked Ji Lin. “I think it’s better if I work alone. I can’t keep staying here. You should hire a professional.”

“I think you’re fine,” Ji Lin said loudly. “You’re skilled.”

They moved on from this. The main point was that An Xiaoyan felt apologetic to Ji Lin. The average salary on the island was less than 3000 dollars, but he earned 4000 each month. Ji Lin was biased. An Xiaoyan didn’t like owing people and Ji Lin’s actions clearly gave him emotional pressure.

Since he’d decided to leave the pet store, An Xiaoyan started thinking about which kind of store had the lowest costs. He didn’t have big aspirations. He just wanted to do something he liked.

The island was beautiful. This was one of the reasons why he didn’t want to leave. The air was fresh and this haven was tucked away from the loud crowds of the mainland. This all proved that it was a suitable place to live.

More importantly, this place bore good memories of him with Gu Jun.

He thought back to the man who wore crocodile-skin swim shorts and grilled barbecue for him at the sea, the man who held the umbrella and drove him to the pet store in the rain. Now, the memories were like a sand castle washed away by the sea with the tide. After the many tides, not even a ghost of the original structure could be seen.

July came. Many cicadas called from the tree outside the window. They sang the songs of summer, but people grew annoyed when listening.

An Xiaoyan had the day off. It was too hot, so he killed time by reading indoors.

No one disturbed him these days. He was more familiar with the island too. He knew that there was a large bookstore about 500 meters from the pet store. The furnishing was classic. He could also order a drink on the second floor and sit there the entire afternoon. He went there often. Turning on the air conditioning for the entire day at home was a luxury, so he would bring Fifth Dumpling there. Fifth Dumpling was obedient. It would sit in a chair beside An Xiaoyan and enjoy the cool air conditioning.

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Many girls saw Fifth Dumpling and couldn’t help but come pet it. Fifth Dumpling didn’t care either. It would close its eyes and let them touch it.

As time went on, the bookstore knew that every Thursday afternoon, a thin man with a limp would bring his cream-colored cat, order lemon tea, and sit there the entire afternoon. The girl who worked there would quietly organize the shelves when she saw An Xiaoyan reading silently, fearing that she would disturb the man immersed in the sea of books.

When the sun set and the sea breeze awoke, the man would set his book down. He would sometimes choose some books from the shelf and pay at the front. Then he would bring his cat outside the bookstore.

He was like the wind. He would leave just as he came.

By the time July had passed, the workers of the bookstore all had good impressions of An Xiaoyan. But to him, all that mattered was that Gu Jun still hadn’t come.