Resetting Lady

It shouldn’t have ended like that, but it did. Countess Elva and Lianne remained silent throughout the carriage ride back. Lianne tried to strike a conversation a few times, but when the countess’ silence persisted, the girl just shut herself up. It’s good enough that she wasn’t told to sleep during the ride.

“How was it, Milady?”

“Haa.”

She felt dirty. Finally able to let out a sigh, Carynne let out a deep one.

Donna helped Carynne change out of her clothes. Women naturally couldn’t eat much while wearing corsets, especially in social gatherings. The act of eating during a social function was a mere tool to occupy one’s mouth while you’re on a break from complimenting the host.

But today, Carynne ate too much. And it was because of Crown Prince Gueuze. He continued to force her to eat while he had fun watching her. That man had nasty preferences that Carynne would never be able to understand.

“Haaa…”

As the corset was being loosened, her stiff body was freed little by little. However, she still didn’t feel comfortable. Her back and her stomach both hurt to the extent that it felt like they were being pressed down.

“I think I have indigestion. I feel so bloated.”

“Should I fetch you some digestive medicine?” Donna asked anxiously.

“Yes. Please.”

At Carynne’s reply, Donna went out. Carynne plopped down on the sofa, cradling her forehead with one hand. She chucked off her shoes and flung them away.

As she lay down, portraits of numerous women hanging on the wall were all looking down at Carynne. Of course, this was only in her imagination. Portraits were just that—portraits.

She laid back and stared at her predecessors. Their eyes were all downturned, staring back at Carynne as well. Did they all meet someone and had an ending where they fell in love?

At the end of the line was her mother, Catherine.

“…You luckily managed to snag such a man and lived happily ever after. Ah, well, I don’t know about ‘happily ever after’, but anyway. Tell me though, why didn’t you take care of me. What kind of attitude did you even…”

Amongst the women in front of her, Carynne stared intently at the face of Catherine, her mother. She was her predecessor. Her mother. Perhaps simply 「 Carynne 」’s mother. (Even still, Carynne imagines that she’s from outside the book.)

“Why did you leave just like that?”

Carynne found it difficult to think that Catherine left no records. Why didn’t she leave anything behind, something that was maybe more detailed? It was so ambiguous to be given just the hint of ‘love’, but even that had been an erased memory. No, perhaps not. Perhaps her memories hadn’t been erased. Perhaps…

No, it can’t be. Carynne rubbed her eyes. She was so tired that she was falling deep into her own thoughts like this again. It’s no use. There’s a lot of other problems she must face.

“Fall in love.”

“To the extent that it can be acknowledged.”

Carynne, of course, chose Raymond. Because there wasn’t another man she had been as acquainted with as him. His face was fine, he had some money to his name, he didn’t gamble, and there was no other woman for him.

Although he was behaving quite double-faced in this life, it was only natural for him to do so because, well, considering what she had done so far, he was suspecting Carynne.

“Things just keep happening back to back nowadays… Fine. Alright. It’s okay that I’m living the same life over and over. The lesson of finding true love is fun in its own way.”

“……”

The portraits hanging before her remained silent.

“But I wasn’t even considering it could be a man from your past, Mother.”

Carynne wanted to cry a little. No, this really wasn’t right. Wasn’t that man even older than her father? He even had a son. That’s not true love. There should be something like a set of rules for romance novels, right?

“……”

Carynne recalled the romance novels that occupied her library. Among the male leads in those many novels, there were older men and also men who already had children, too. They were archetypal men who were hurt by their past lovers, kicked to the curb and left all alone.

“I didn’t think it could be…”

However, she knew of no novels out there where the male lead had aimed for both mother and daughter at the same time.

Carynne clasped her hands together. Please, not him. In one corner of her mind, she was aware of the cliché saying of, ‘If you want to know who the male lead is, look for the one who holds the most power,’ but she desperately ignored this. Don’t even think about that cliché.

Rather than a logical decision to do so, it was more of an instinctive rejection.

“…Is it because I’m only looking at men’s faces? But if I consider the portrait I saw of him, Crown Prince Gueuze was more handsome than father in their youth… No, no. I seriously hate him. Mother probably did, too.”

Carynne looked up at Catherine’s portrait and agonized over this. Why did Crown Prince Gueuze make her feel so uncomfortable?

“What do you like about Sir Raymond?”

That’s what Prince Lewis asked her.

Do I still like Raymond? Even now? I’m not sure. What I’m sure of is that Crown Prince Gueuze makes me uncomfortable. But why? Why does my heart feel so heavy? Murder is nothing to me, sex no longer has any meaning to me. It’s the same with love as well, but why am I so confused? Crown Prince Gueuze wants me. I know that. However I don’t even want to imagine saying that I love him, even in front of Dullan. Why on earth am I feeling this?

“My head hurts…”

Carynne drank the medicine that Donna gave her, then she closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think about anything. All she wanted was to beg for Raymond’s love the moment he’s back. Then, she knew how he’d just stare blankly back at her, tell her that she should stop reading and just go out to exercise.

Even if all they were right now were distant conversation partners, she needed him. She needed to see him, even when he looked at her with such an aloof gaze.

The moment Raymond’s back, she decided that they should discuss this—the matter of how Crown Prince Gueuze was looking at her.

* * *

“It’s from the Royal Family.”

However, reality never worked the way you wanted it to. As was the case with most things.

The next morning after that, Carynne received a letter bearing the royal seal. She received no contact from Raymond.

The content of the invitation was simple. There were instructions about the time, the place, and for her to wear the gifts sent along with the letter. The message was simple, but the meaning behind those words was not.

Crown Prince Gueuze sent a pink dress and a necklace. Seeing those made her mood foul.

“Clothes, huh.”

It was a finished garment. This in itself was not a polite gesture. Anyone who was considerate towards a lady wouldn’t give clothes as a gift. It was difficult to get measurements exactly right, and there’s no gift more embarrassing than ill-fitting clothes.

It would have been more appropriate to send cloth, and if you were truly being thoughtful towards the other person, you’d send a talented tailor as well.

However, Crown Prince Gueuze sent a finished garment. As if it was her who should fit into those clothes.

“It’s made entirely of silk… It looks quite expensive.”

“I must be, yes.”

And it was out of fashion. A light pink dress for a lady with red hair? That middle-aged man’s fashion sense was terrible. This dress’ design would have been popular twenty years ago, but he’s expecting her to go out in this? It’s so obvious that she would just be a laughingstock.

She took a deep breath. If she was Isella, what would she do? She might say, ‘I'd rather die than wear that thing!’ Carynne could almost hear the high-pitched ringing of her voice.

“It’s fine… Yeah… It’s not like I’ll die…”

“Still, it kinda looks p…pretty?”

When Donna tried to praise the dress without so much of a hint of confidence, it didn’t comfort Carynne at all. Donna had already gotten used to Carynne’s luxurious clothes these days, so her standards were high enough that Donna herself wouldn’t dare wear it.

Besides that, the maid had a look in her eyes that said, ‘That outfit looks like a grandmother’s, seriously.’ However, when she saw Carynne’s grim expression, she quickly changed the topic.

“But how about this necklace?”

Carynne lifted the necklace that the crown prince had sent along with the invitation. The dress was certainly made with grandiose cloth, but the brightness of the dress was nothing compared to the necklace. The dress was the accessory to the necklace instead of the other way around.

The real present was this necklace. This was what the crown prince intended to send.

“What do you think?” Carynne asked.

“…It looks very expensive.”

“Right? It must be.”

The design was fine. Jewelry designs went out of fashion at a slower pace than clothes. This necklace wasn’t exactly trendy. That term couldn’t really be applied to the necklace, since for anything to be ‘trendy’, it had to be something that anyone could get their hands on easily. Unlike any other accessories, this necklace couldn’t be like that even after a long time.

“If my mother received this before, I don’t think we’d have owed anything to Mister Verdic.”

“To that extent?”

“Yeah.”