Reverse Approach

Seeing that he lowered his head and did not speak, Su Jing hesitantly reached out and patted his shoulder.

 

“You are still young, and your previous encounter is really pitiful. So when you meet someone who helps you, you will feel that he is your lifesaver. But in my opinion, Beimo, he is not mature, he is not much older than you. Being impulsive during youth can ruin a lot of things.” Su Jing’s fingertips tapped the table, catching back Liao Nanqing’s attention. “I’m sorry that my uneducated son misled you. Of course, I will pay for my son’s mistakes. ”

 

Liao Nanqing listened motionlessly.

 

“But if…if you are really like this because of your own sexual orientation and it has nothing to do with Beimo…” Su Jing inevitably talked about, “For this sexual orientation, it is easier to find a partner abroad, isn’t it?”

 

Liao Nanqing stiffened and raised his eyes, dumbfounded.

 

Su Jing did not know that his two simple words were like a dagger that pierced into Liao Nanqing’s flesh and skin. Liao Nanqing liked Su Beimo, it was never a matter of sexual orientation.

 

He only wanted Su Beimo, he only liked Su Beimo. If it was someone else, the meaning was different.

 

Seeing that he was listening peacefully and not refuting, Su Jing slightly eased his tone: “Go study abroad. As long as you break off contact with Beimo and stop seeing each other, I will be responsible for the money until you graduate. As long as it’s within reason and within my reach, you can ask me for anything.”

 

At the same time, Su Jing looked around the small apartment and pointed out clearly: “Pack up your things and go back to school to live. If you don’t feel comfortable living in the dormitory, I’ll rent you a similar apartment outside.” He felt that he had done his best to be benevolent.

 

But Liao Nanqing still stood in place, unable to lift a single step.

 

Su Jing urged him once, twice, and by the third time, Su Jing directly opened the closet and drew a neatly folded travel bag from the side.

 

In the closet, Liao Nanqing’s and Su Beimo’s clothes were well distinguished, and they were also neatly folded separately. Su Jing carelessly grabbed Liao Nanqing’s clothes and stuffed them into the bag regardless. This one action completely triggered Liao Nanqing’s breakdown. He rushed over like out of control and took the travel bag out of Su Jing’s hand.

 

Liao Nanqing shook his head: “I don’t want to go abroad.”

 

Su Jing took a breath, his chest feeling stuffy.

 

“I don’t want to move away from here either.” Liao Nanqing was afraid of using up all his courage, he clutched the things in his hand, his teeth chattering, “Uncle Su, I want to stay with Su Beimo.”

 

Su Jing’s face sank. He silently sat on the edge of the bed, not saying a word.

 

The atmosphere was cold and sharp all the time. Liao Nanqing slightly moved his steps, the cold sweat on his palms came out unaware. His limbs were soft, the soles of his feet were drifting, and even his vision was vague. His throat was as dry as a fire burn, he swallowed hard and eagerly assured Su Jing. “Uncle Su, I swear…I, for the rest of my life, I will really be good to Su Beimo for the rest of my life…”

 

“How good?” Su Jing turned his back on Liao Nanqing.

 

“I…”

 

“Bring him the rumors in the town, or keep him from having a normal family in the future? Is this what you call good?” Su Jing got up and interrupted him in a flat tone. Before Su Jing came to see Liao Nanqing, he also had an argument with Su Beimo. His son, who had always known how to stand on his own feet and had always been sensible, had never made him worry about anything, yet today he had made such a big joke.

 

—— Homosexuality.

 

These three words1 were too ridiculous, he couldn’t know whether Su Beimo would regret it in the future, but he could be sure that these two children were both very hot now and couldn’t listen to persuasion.

 

Liao Nanqing was not good at words at all. He held the travel bag tightly in his hand, his joints were white, and he was naked and cold as a result of Su Jing’s unsentimental tone. The winter months have not yet arrived, but he was already in the snow and cold. Liao Nanqing’s thin body was embedded in the shadows of the room, as if he should have stayed there.

 

The vision in front of his eyes became more and more blurred, and the whole house shaking in his mind.

 

“What, can’t say anything?” Su Jing was very tired, with a few bloodshot in his eyes. He hadn’t closed his eyes much since that night, he was full of sadness, “Nanqing, is our family treating you badly?”

 

Liao Nanqing’s fingertips sunk into his own arm, and the pain surprisingly disappeared.

 

He heard Su Jing ask him, “Nanqing, why are you doing this? Your Grandma Su and Aunt Su love you so much, and your Grandma Su, her health is not good, have you thought about the consequences of all this?”

 

Liao Nanqing’s eyes were full of tears, and it slowly fell.

 

Su Jing’s words were full of despair, even pleading: “Are you trying to ruin our family?”

 

This sentence was like five thunder.2

 

Liao Nanqing’s eyes widened in vain, and the eyes that should have dried up burst out the accumulated tears. The teardrops were as big as raindrops, dripping unstoppable, and the lid of the sluice gate was pulled off.

 

He seemed to recall that summer many years ago, when mosquitoes were loud and the smell of blood filled the air. His mother, Li Qin, tore her heart out and shouted at him—

 

“Why did you ruin this family! It’s all you, it’s all you!”

 

Liao Nanqing lifted his hands stiffly, covered with blood stains, and he saw all those cold sweat as scarlet. His brain began to be confused; reality and the past, all fused in his unconscious memory.

 

——

 

Not me.

 

I didn’t

 

I’m a victim too, Mom. I’m a victim too.

 

…

 

But Li Qin didn’t listen. She covered her face and her expression couldn’t be clearly seen. The gentleness of the past suddenly fell into fragments: “Why are the children of other people’s families so good, only you are like this…why…why is only you so abnormal?!”

 

Such a groundbreaking question, filled with a series of distrust.

 

She said, you are not normal, you are not normal at all. So many children, he chose to focus on you, that Auntie Zhang saw you ran out of his house wearing that kind of improper clothes!

 

She also said, you are not normal, you ruined Liao’s family.

 

In the end, Li Qin’s face was terrifying, and she sentenced him word by word: “And now, you want to ruin the Su family.”

 

Suddenly.

 

Liao Nanqing lost his strength and fell to the ground at once. He panicked and opened his mouth to gasp loudly. A pair of hands carelessly and confusedly let go of the hand, the travel bag fell aside, the clothes inside scattered not into a ball. He jerked back, clutching his head, mouthing the words, “I didn’t… I didn’t…”

 

In a flash, he woke up and blamed himself deeply: “It’s me, it’s my fault… I fell for Su Beimo first, it’s because I’m not good…”

 

Su Jing hurriedly took a step, but every time he took a step closer, Liao Nanqing shrank back a little, his back against the cold wall, and kept begging for mercy: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…Uncle Su, I’m sorry…”

 

“Nanqing? Nanqing, what’s wrong with you?” Su Jing was worried all of a sudden and wanted to go up and pull him up. The moment he touched him, Su Jing realized that Liao Nanqing was soaked with sweat, even his clothes were damp. Liao Nanqing resisted and pushed his arm, without any strength.

 

The door outside was suddenly opened.

 

Su Beimo did not even take off his shoes and rushed in, his cheeks were left with the palm marks left by Su Jing two days ago, and they were still hot and painful.

 

“Nanqing!” He was shocked when he saw this scene. Without even thinking, he straightforwardly took off his own jacket, rushed over and pushed Su Jing away, wrapping Liao Nanqing up and protecting him tightly in his arms. Su Beimo’s eyes were full of anger, shouting at Su Jing, “Dad, what did you do to him?!”

 

“He’s suddenly like this, I don’t know what’s going on.” Su Jing was anxious and took out his cell phone to call, “Go to the hospital first. Hurry up, go to the hospital first.”

 

Su Beimo gritted his teeth and picked up Nanqing with his chin pressed against his forehead.

 

Liao Nanqing was feverish, and it looked like he had been for a while.

 

Su Beimo kissed him on the forehead, speaking incoherently, “It’s okay, Nanqing, it is okay. I’m back, don’t be afraid, Nanqing.”

 

 

 

In the hospital, the nurse gave Liao Nanqing IV drips, and he slept in a lounge chair dazedly. Su Beimo borrowed a small blanket to cover him and wiped the cold sweat on his forehead.

 

The nurse asked: “Family?”

 

“Yes.” Su Beimo answered, “I am his brother.”

 

“Your brother has a little fever and doesn’t seem to have had much rest recently. Take care of a light diet, tell him to stay up as little as possible, and eat three normal meals.” The nurse glanced suspiciously at Su Beimo’s slightly swollen cheek, gave a few words of advice and left. Su Beimo sat on the side of the rest chair and let Liao Nanqing lean his head on his shoulder.

 

A few minutes later, Su Jing bought breakfast and came over, a bag of hot soy milk and a few vegetarian buns.

 

“You eat some, your aunt called me and said you slipped away early in the morning.” Su Jing wiped his face and sat across from them, he tried not to look at his son’s intimate actions with Liao Nanqing, as if one look and he would be furious. “Wait for him to finish the IV drip, go back and put his things away…”

 

“Dad, what should be said, I’ve made it very clear.” Su Beimo interrupted him, unwilling to continue the conversation.

 

“Do you have to be so disobedient? You know you…” Su Jing glanced around and lowered his voice, “You will definitely regret it later, you listen to me, I will not treat Nanqing poorly, I will fund him through college.”

 

Su Beimo turned his head away in annoyance, “I am an adult, and I know what to do.”

 

“What about your grandmother? She’s so old, what would happen if she knew?” Su Jing said sharply.

 

Su Beimo closed his eyes: “I won’t tell grandma.” He never wanted to be accepted and understood by everyone, but at least, they couldn’t hurt Liao Nanqing.

 

Su Jing was so angry that he clenched his fist, almost threateningly. In the past three days, he had beaten Su Beimo, scolded Su Beimo, and tried to reason with him calmly.

 

Unfortunately, none of them worked.

 

Helplessly, he asked Su Beimo: “What if I say that if you want to be with him, you have to cut ties with your family?”

 

Su Beimo was stunned, and Su Jing seemed to have caught his weakness: “Beimo, come home with me. I’ve saved some money over the years, you can start a business or find a company to work for.”

 

The surrounding people were coming and going. Somehow, today’s hospital was particularly crowded. So much so that the noise, the sound of people, the sound of footsteps, all mixed together, scurrying into Su Beimo’s ears. They were crowded and piled up in the empty space in Su Beimo’s brain, which had very little capacity, and eventually collapsed with a crash.

 

Su Beimo tugged at the corners of his mouth and soon settled down.

 

His own clear voice rang in his ears, unusually clear in the chaos.

 

“Dad, I’m sorry.”

 

 

 

December flew by and January was a busy month.

 

All colleges and universities were in a tense atmosphere of final exams, and several dorm rooms were even turning on lamps to study, and Liao Nanqing was no exception.

 

Su Beimo’s company started to enter a dead-end cycle of overtime work, and he would travel from time to time. But every time he was on a business trip, his messages and phone calls with Liao Nanqing were always uninterrupted. Liao Nanqing knew in his heart that Su Beimo was worried about him being home alone.

 

Was he afraid that Su Jing would find him again, or was he afraid that Liao Nanqing would be trapped in a dead end by himself? Strictly speaking, it was both.

 

Ge Yun’s foot injury was almost healed, and she happily came to Liao Nanqing to drink milk tea. Her boyfriend said that even if she became a little fat, he would continue to like her. Ge Yun didn’t know of Liao Nanqing’s misfortune in those days, so she occasionally made fun of the Dog Su.

 

But fortunately because of Ge Yun’s existence, Liao Nanqing would not appear too lonely in the school.

 

He seemed to be retracting into his shell back. Gradually, he stopped participating in school activities and communicated with his classmates even less frequently.

 

Ge Yun noticed that something was wrong with him several times, and asked about it, but Liao Nanqing didn’t speak, so Ge Yun got rid of her wit.

 

“Hey, you’ve been depressed lately. So is Xu Jianjian, he hasn’t appeared in group chats anymore.” Ge Yun completely forgot about the time before and after graduation from high school. She did the same; it was obvious that she rarely appeared in group chats.

 

Liao Nanqing had no appetite to drink milk tea, and sat with Ge Yun on the bench near the school’s flower bed, blowing cold wind.

 

“Liao Nanqing, do you have to wait for Dog Su to go back after the winter break?” Ge Yun joked to him, “When the time comes, will you bring your dog Su to dinner? By the way, give Xu Yanyan a solemn introduction.”

 

“I’m not going back for winter break, I’m staying in City B.” Liao Nanqing apologized, “Next time, I’ll invite you guys to dinner.”

 

“Ah? Why don’t you go back for New Year’s Eve, your family…” Before she finished her sentence, Ge Yun automatically shut up.

 

Liao Nanqing didn’t feel anything, and said lightly, “My mother and my stepfather together, they have broken off with me.”

 

Ge Yun took a sip of the milk tea and said awkwardly, “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, it’s not a secret.”

 

“Well… then, are you going to deliver a late night snack to Dog Su again tonight?” Ge Yun sensibly changed the subject.

 

“En.”

 

“Hey, you’re just too nice to him.” Ge Yun taught him, “Boyfriends can’t be spoiled.”

 

“I’m his boyfriend too.” Liao Nanqing didn’t quite understand Ge Yun’s statement and replied dumbly, “But he spoils me.”

 

Ge Yun crossed her legs: “You are the typical poor little kid who is sold and still helps to count the money.”

 

Liao Nanqing shook his head and thought, what do you know?’

 

He broke off with his family for me.

 

…

 

Just at the thought, Liao Naqing was stuck in panic, and he felt that he had made a terrible mistake. And this mistake, with the current situation of stalling and out of control, would spread rapidly, falling into whirlpool-like helplessness.

 

The tip of Liao Nanqing’s nose was slightly cold, he tilted his head, it was snowing.

 

The first small snow of this winter, the first piece, melted on the tip of Liao Nanqing’s nose.

1

同性恋

2

五雷轰顶(wǔ léi hōng dǐng) – metaphor for people who have done a very bad thing, and they will be punished by God in various forms.