Rewrite the Stars

Marcus threw his phone on the desk upside down, too scared to check if Vivian would see it and reply, if she even chose to. He tossed himself into bed, burying his face in a pillow and curling up in bed.

This was the first break he was able to take in awhile. He put off replacing his phone to pay for his father's cancer screening and doctor visits. It wasn't an issue to use his email for any work-related messages. Even if Adrian complained every time he had to use it and would spitefully send them in rapid succession.

The phone vibrated and Marcus nearly tripped over his blanket trying to get to it. A new message.

[yeah, night.]

He let out a sign of relief and set his phone down. Marcus wasn't sure what he should be feeling with that response. It didn't seem right to be happy that she responded since he really shouldn't have the privilege to talk to her after he was the one who ruined her life last time. But at the same time, he was happy, happy that she was open to talking with him. Although whether he was ecstatic that she was possibly looking past things, or he was glad for the ability to alleviate some of his guilt, Marcus wasn't sure.

Rolling over on the bed to face the ceiling, Marcus's mind drifted.

The pressure of fitting in with the elite was probably the biggest contribution of Marcus's series of constrictive choices that would kill Vivian's dream. Well, it wasn't like he could completely blame that for all their problems. There were definitely underlying problems that would have eventually destroyed them eventually. Outside forces just accelerated their already deteriorating relationship.

Turning over, Marcus turned towards the window and looked outside. He would have to reflect on what went wrong and try to fix it this time around. If Vivian was willing. Otherwise, he would be content with making sure that no one he pursued a relationship with will end up like her.

Whatever happened, he wasn't going to be like those assholes that forced a person they were interested in to have a relationship with them until they reciprocated.

He looked at the clock on his nightstand.

3 am.

Great. He ran his hand over his face. Marcus was having trouble sleeping the past month and it was starting to seriously impact his work. Maybe he should think about taking melatonin pills although that wasn't really his problem. His body was tired but his brain couldn't stop racing. There were so many things he had to take care of that he couldn't bring himself to rest and recharge.

His body dragged into the office the next morning and he laid his head on the desk, too tired to move anything.

"Geez, who are you and where's my boss?" Adrian nudged the door open with his foot, holding two steaming cups.

"I couldn't sleep again last night." Marcus slowly raised his head and leaned back on his chair, "Is that my tea?"

Adrian set down the cup before he saw Marcus's face, "I don't think tea can fix that." he switched the drinks. "You can have my coffee. I drank a little though."

"This is going to give me a massive headache." Marcus took a big sip of the coffee, making a face at the taste as it went down.

"At least you'll be awake to feel it."

Marcus downed the rest of the cup with a face and tossed it in the trash, "How's everything on your end?"

"All going well. Traffic on the site is steady and people seem to like the condensed news videos we post."

Marcus nodded tapping his finger on the desk, "I think at least small advertisers are getting interested now, but it's not enough."

Adrian glanced back at the open door and leaned closer, "The other side project is ready to go as well. I've found plenty of info, so whenever you're ready."

"Then let's do it today." Marcus said, "I have something going on tomorrow."

"Wow, you're taking a day off? That's rare." Adrian said, "With who?"

"Shut up." Marcus grumbled, "And none of your business."

"Oh, so Vivian."

"Wha—"

"Anyways, I should go and execute your Very Important Project." Adrian ducked out the door, dodging the pen Marcus threw at him. He stuck his head back in, grinning cheekily, "Good luckk~"

Marcus groaned, slowly kicked his chair in a circle. After coming back, Marcus got Adrian to gather information based on what he remembered from the future. Realistically, his company was not going to make enough money to do everything he needed from the start. Medical fees were expensive, and he wanted to make sure his father got the best care possible.

He stayed late in the office, even Adrian had left after confirming that everything was in place and there should be results the day after tomorrow. Marcus had to make sure that he finished his work for today and tomorrow, not willing to set anything down.

Marcus stretched after the clock on the wall read midnight. He slowly began to pack things away when he stopped. Leaving at this hour was normal for him back then and by this point, Vivian would have been sleeping. No wonder they didn't work out if he wasn't willing to leave work early now and then. There was no time for them to spend together and then later, his restriction on activities she enjoyed, what was Vivian even doing? She must have been bored to death. A wave of guilt hit Marcus and he sighed.

It was probably better this time around to just let her go. There was no way she would think of getting back together with him after all the shit he put her through. Really, he might have needed to see a therapist, Marcus thought. His actions were abusive, emotionally. He sat back down in his chair, the realization just hitting him.

How often did he order his employees to not allow her in the kitchen? How often did he ask people to keep tabs on her to make sure she didn't do anything to screw up a business deal, a contract, his reputation? How often did he make promises to her to spend time together, that he would make her happy after they got married? And how many times did he break them?

"Oh my god." Marcus whispered, his head propped by his hands, elbows on the desk. Why did Vivian not say anything? Or do anything?

But it wasn't her responsibility to tell him. She wasn't the one that was supposed to keep his behaviors in line like a mother. He was a grown man and should have checked himself.

"What else have I done?" Marcus wondered. He was almost afraid to find out, but there was no other way else he was supposed to amend himself otherwise.

The next morning, Marcus woke up. Well, he couldn't really wake up if he never went to sleep. His eyes were puffy and reddened, a souvenir of spending the night going over all the possible ways Vivian could have been hurt by him.

He covered everything up the best he could and downed two cups of coffee before he felt awake enough to function. Marcus sent a text to Vivian, to confirm their meeting.

[Does the uni coffee shop at one work for you?]

He set it down on the table and prepared himself a quick breakfast. When he sat back down to eat, Vivian had already replied.

[works for me, see you then]

When he arrived at the shop, Vivian was already there, tapping on her keyboard. He almost mistook her for a college student. As he got closer, she looked up and shut her laptop.

"Sorry I didn't know when you would get here." Vivian said, putting away the laptop.

"No it's fine," Marcus said, "I should be the one apologizing for making you wait." he took the seat across from her.

"Has anyone asked you about our relationship?" Vivian scooted forward on her chair, resting her hands on the table.

"My parents and Adrian." Marcus admitted. "Remember how I proposed to you during graduation? They wanted to know why we called it off so suddenly."

Vivian nodded, "Yeah Luca was wondering what happened to us as well."

"I gave my parents a vague explanation." Marcus looked over at the counter, fighting off a yawn, "Do you mind if I grab some tea? I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh yeah go ahead."

"You want anything?"

Vivian shook her head.

Marcus got up and went up to the counter, a memory triggering a slight smile to tug on his lips.

When he got back to the table, Vivian was surprised when he set down a slice of cake and a sandwich. "I would feel bad if I was the only one eating." he explained, noting her confused face.

"Thanks." Vivian reached for her bag, "How much was it? I'll pay you back."

"No, it's fine." Marcus crumpled the receipt in his hand and stuffed it in his jean pocket. "Consider it my treat."

Vivian reluctantly put her wallet away and took a sip of the drink.

Marcus was pleased when her eyes lit up in delight. He remembered when they came here to study together and she would always order that drink. Taking a sip of his own cup, Marcus happily watched Vivian devour the cake as well.

"Right," Vivian wiped her mouth with a napkin, "I think we should just say something along the lines of we want to be independent first before committing to a long term relationship."

"Yeah, I told something similar to our parents as well. Uh, maybe just avoid going into more detail."

"Because it's none of their business." Vivian said. "I don't think we need to broadcast our breakup either. Avoid people asking us."

Marcus swirled his cup, "That sounds good." he shifted forward, "Listen, Vi—Vivian, I really am sorry about everything that happened."

Vivian's face turned stony.

"I know you probably won't accept my apology—I'm not expecting you to—but please understand that I realized what I had done was fucked up and I—"

"You want me to hear you out so you can stop feeling guilty?" Vivian crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair.

"I don't mean it like that... " Marcus wasn't sure what he meant by it.

Was that what he was really after? Marcus had already resigned himself to the gnawing guilt and sleepless nights, he just wanted her to know that he had seen his mistakes. Or was he just telling himself that to feel better about his choices? Honestly, it could be a mix of both. Either way, it probably looked really bad to Vivian.

"You know what," Vivian pushed back her chair, "This meeting in person was completely unnecessary."

Marcus went to stand as well, before slowly sinking back down. What reason did he have to stop her?

"I'm moving on with my life so I would appreciate it if you would stop bringing up what happened before." Vivian pulled out a twenty and slapped it on the table in front of him, "For the food you bought me."

"It didn't cost that much." Marcus said.

"Then keep the change and consider it my payment to you for ignoring me unless it's a life or death situation." she snapped.

Marcus blinked. He was surprised to see her spit such sharp words aimed at him. She was always soft spoken and gentle. But he shouldn't expect her to be the same as before. If anything, he felt a tinge of happiness that she was learning to stand her ground and speak up.

Vivian marched towards the door and nearly slammed into a person walking in.

Marcus stood up.

And almost spit blood seeing the person that walked in.