Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

What does it mean to be happy?

Subaru thinks that it is one of the definitions of happiness, that it is unchanged.

Subaru thinks that tomorrow that is no different than today is happiness that today that is no different than yesterday will last for days that will never change.

Whatever it is, I can't keep living without changing anything.

The passage of time creates change, goes through wear and reaches the end of either evolution or degeneration.

- So is this how I got to the other world moving forward? Or is it retreating toward the back?

If it should be called change, there is no more change than now that it has been knocked down from everyday to unusual.

Natsuki Subaru has feared more than anything, hated more than anything, and neglected more than anything, the change in the environment, the transformation of the situation, the change of position, the transformation of the way of life.

So even in a world where everything had changed, I was desperate to find something that wouldn't change, and I was leaping.

Once you don't want to let go of what you got, stick around and stick with it, and still.

Still - I am.

When he woke up, Subaru was frowning at the invisibility of the heavens he looked up to.

It is not the ceiling of the Roswar mansion, where wasted luxury has become familiar, nor the ceiling of a simple but well-handed inn. Of course, I'm not in a loving room with a thin dirty feeling.

Subaru drifts into the vague sensation of consciousness for just a few seconds, remembering such emotion at the height of a pointless ceiling.

For Subaru, who is too awake, the feeling of sleeping sheep is remote. Taste the slightest difference from normal and dig up memories in your hand exploration.

What happened before I fell asleep and where is this place in the first place?

It hurts like it hurts around the temples, with slight tears in her thin-eyed eyes.

I'm not sure if that was due to pain or to a feeling of waking up.

Softly wiped with a raised sleeve of floating droplets, Fu Subaru noticed the discomfort on his right wrist that went into his eyes.

The wrist on your right hand peeked from around the cuff, and there's a flashy scar you can't remember.

Inside and outside of the wrist, engraved into both. It involves a faint paralysis -,

"... I thought, I let it out"

How unusual an eye I am and how feathery I am to leave such a scar.

And this scar still means that

"Didn't die... you mean"

Subaru doesn't realize how uncomfortable and arrogant it is to have spoken that word.

Additionally, I don't even realize what I want unconsciously.

It's just...

"Subaru, are you awake?

The sound of the silver bell tickling its ears seemed terribly uncomfortable now.

Tilt his neck, Subaru turns his gaze toward those who heard his voice.

Next to the sleeping table lying, there was Emilia walking toward us.

Her figure of walking is no different from the outfit she saw in the hall of the king's race earlier.

The white based costume is not aristocratic flashy, but well suited to her well-rounded, clean standing. The white robe that I was completely familiar with when I walked outside was beautifully folded and now held in its arms.

Comparing that figure of hers to the orange sunshine that plugs through the window, Subaru decides that little time has passed.

Probably a few hours. Given that the start of the king's race was before noon, was he unconscious for about four hours at best?

"How's the wound? I don't think there's anything weird about it because it's Ferris' treatment..."

Emilia comes to herself with her worries in her eyes. When the amethyst's eyes looked at Subaru's wrist, he narrowed his eyes painfully to the scar strain left there.

Despite what that gaze takes into account this one's physical condition, Subaru gently hid his right hand behind his back feeling like he was being seen something he didn't want to see,

"Uh, uh, well, I don't see anything bad about it when it feels like I saw it pah. No, actually, you're a threat until you feel your broken teeth."

I hold my tongue in my mouth and fight for the feel of my front teeth that should be gone.

It is regrettable that the scene of treatment was not conscious. Were the teeth that should have been broken fulfilled allowed to regenerate, or reconstituted?

Starting with the tragic state of his mouth, he can see that injuries all over his body have also been healed, and Subaru admires the same universal healing magic of this world.

If fractures, lacerations, permanent tooth retiring, etc. are to be fully restored in four hours, hospital facilities in the original world would be commercially available.

"No, wait. I don't think I can act against the disease. Thinking about it, there's still an advantage in the hospital..."

"The water system magic also works on the inside of the body like a disease, so I don't think Subaru has anything to worry about"

"Seriously, magic all-purpose theory. Farewell white vick tower. Say hello to BJ."

Attempt to make the tongue wet the same as normal by tapping the appropriate light mouth. but the inner microscopy around it seems Emilia also understands, and there is no change in the pitiful emotions cluttered by the gaze you see here.

As such, it is best to be 'sympathetic' to me now.

"Yeah, well, are we successfully done discussing the king's race?

its gaze and Subaru provides the topic so as to avoid silent time. take it, Emilia pulled her jaw small and responded, "Yes,"

"Roughly. All we had to say to each other was in a discussion in the hall, so all we had to do after that was pack a really fine king's race. Mostly because Rosewire's just snorting and it's over."

That, when I was stepped into the details, I guess Emilia still in the process of fixing something imperialistic had a heavy load. When he hears a sound in his voice mourning his lack of power, Subaru realizes he finds relief there.

That in that place of the king's race, Emilia also tasted a feeling out of reach of herself and remembered the sorrow - by such a miserable empathy.

As he deludes such a dark emotion born inside himself, Subaru turns a blind eye to his quick mouth as he lifts his face.

"So, which way does that Rosewire go? There's a strong feeling that it was air in the lobby."

"When I finished my duties as a supporter, I now turned to those of you who work as court magicians. Yeah, but it looks like they're counting on you here.... I can't do anything without Roswar, but it's not what I'm saying."

Dignificent, it changed from when he claimed his own thoughts in the hall, and Emilia's thinking is somewhere backward and weak now. If you compare yourself to the other candidates and are recessed on them, I think Subaru is underestimating yourself.

If you do make the education you have received, or your birth in the first place, a condition for evaluation, Emilia's flag color is pretty bad just because of its origins being a half elf.

But her claim that she didn't value those parts and wanted them to appreciate how she was going to be in the future was muscular, and it was also true that there was so much in her attitude at that time that it made the old man who was a solid rounder disappear.

Those she laments that she's not enough for herself, she gets as much as she wants acquired.

That's what Subaru thinks she needs most in her quest for the throne - that she has it with her from the beginning.

So Subaru thinks her grief is off-target, and that's not what's missing for her in challenging the king's race. And as fearful of being made aware of it by her,

"Let's get back to the inn as soon as we're done discussing Roswar over there. Rem, retrieve it and work out future measures. And there's still something to do in the castle or something?

"Subaru"

"If not, fine. I don't know where my eyes and ears are set up here, and it would be ideal to go back to the mansion if possible. So I'm going to tell you a little bit more about it... No, because I've come all the way to Wang Capital, I'd better hold a powerful man or something first..."

"Subaru......"

"No, no, rather, on the contrary, maybe we should exchange some conditions here with the other Kings candidates. It's hard to figure out when and where to set it up..."

"- Subaru!"

Speaking quickly, Emilia sharply calls Subaru, who lines up the barrage of words on the spot. The barrage was unintentionally interrupted by that voice, and Subaru matches the gaze he was distracting to her.

Firm, straight, purple blue eyes were staring at Subaru.

- Let's talk.

Quiet, but not shaky enough, it sounded so heavily on Subaru.

Waking herself up, keeping her back on the wall near the entrance, the front of Subaru replacing her sleeping table with a chair, Emilia holds the robe tightly in her hands.

It was late, though her fingertips showed in advance unconscious tension that the content of the story she was about to start was never something like being able to laugh at each other soothingly.

"A lot, I wanted to ask... because earlier I couldn't because the place was a place.... really, a lot"

"... oh well, you do"

Emilia trembles her lips in confusion as to what to talk about by hand.

Her hesitation was such that she knew that the sway was in Subaru's hands.

Anyway, it's my own mess. All would have been out of her imagination for her, and all she wanted to do was ask for an explanation.

So if you dare to put it into words, Emilia should not question all of 'Subaru's actions today', but its sincerity.

If the answer to it, Subaru can return only one answer without a coward.

But...

"Uh, so... how did Julius and I get to fight?

Her chosen topic was not what Subaru wanted.

And more importantly, it was the kind of part where people would ask and wrinkle their eyebrows. Naturally, there is an ironic grin about her choosing words but still calling them 'battles'.

"... what, that awesome, disgusting face"

"No, nothing. I just didn't think the battle was a glorious thing to describe in a few words."

That's all they did unilaterally, so it should be more of a ravage than a fight. Or, as Julius himself called it, 'punishment'?

Whatever Subaru's rough inside, Emilia gives that response a painful look. Svalbard, who usually responds lightly, naturally surprised himself because he said so in both mockery and dew.

She lets the glow of those pale eyes soak with sad emotions,

"I'm sure there was a reason, wasn't there? It's about Subaru, so it must be important..."

"Reason, or..."

Julius appeared beneath Subaru, who had been struck in the holding room. When he went to the squad as he was invited by him, Subaru immediately decided that this was a payback for his disrespect in the hall.

The difference in power between the opponent, Julius, and himself, was also reading less. It was originally the human character of Subaru who quit the spot because of abdominal pain and broke the crunch and the other person's thoughts, and some parts of him thought he should do so.

Yet the fact is that Subaru took the sword on that spot, albeit the wooden sword, and challenged an unlikely opponent to win - as a result, he was struck down like a bollocks.

How could you do such an imitation? The answer is:

"One arrow, I wanted to reward you."

"... Huh?

"In the hall, in the holding room, he... that bastard said I was... unworthy. I know that. Even I know better. That's not how I lack power, no one tells me. I knew best. But!"

Face up. Standing in front of you, looking up at the silver beauty, bewildered eyes,

"I wanted to show you. I didn't throw it away. No, that's not it. I just wanted to get in line. If I could show him the shards, I'd be better off."

Unable to put the words together, Subaru leans down to the passion that scratches through his head, clenching his fist placed on his lap and biting his lip.

Better, I resent myself for not getting the word out. If I had been hit with all the emotions that smoke in my chest, I wouldn't have had to feel this bad.

"Subaru......"

"Meaning, it was. I'm like, useless, intrusive, 'cause he hates me for trying to cut me off from you... and he wants me to retract it, and I challenge him."

I think that's what happened.

If you don't deserve Emilia, Julius strangled Subaru more harshly than anyone else on that spot. But no one had to tell me that, and Subaru himself knew best.

Subaru has desperately taken care of herself in an attempt to avoid being enlightened about it. I can't forgive the man who made me reveal himself under that desperate mask.

Somehow, I was desperate to cover it up when I was exposed to it during the day.

I suppose the result led to an unusual result that would sink into the sea of blood.

Emilia is small and breathtaking at the nagging Subaru's powerless answer.

I guess that wasn't what she was looking for, a more fruitful answer. I don't know what ideal answer she was looking for. But the reality of Subaru's will betrayed the ideals she wanted to believe.

the disappointment spilled out of her lips so that it slipped slightly,

"Oh, for that matter?

"That's what mattered... ugh"

That was the big thing that Subaru couldn't give up.

Subaru was able to put his chest up just because his surroundings would acknowledge such boredom.

Just being aware of such a boring thing, Subaru is frustrated by the emotions of shame and unable to move.

I walk forward with refreshment, I can't keep up with that back.

But Emilia doesn't understand the thought of Subaru.

She covered her mouth with her palms in a squeezing Subaru answer, as she pushed trembling words out of that gap in her fingers.

"Is that... is that why Subaru fought?

"... oh"

"I feel so painful, even painful, and yet?

"Yes, I am."

"- I said don't use it, even use magic?

Svalbard's face tenses strongly as if the child were plunging up and turning his gaze away.

Trump cards, hands, last resort - no matter how you put it, it was cut off as a naive measure before Julius.

A definite force that Subaru should have come to this world and gained from bending over.

A second loop - a force I should have relied on no more in one case at the Mansion. That it was easily broken had had less impact on Subaru.

There's a feeling of powerlessness as if they've truncated everything in their days since they came to this world.

"Hey, Subaru, answer me"

――――

"Really, that's why Subaru used magic...?

"... Emilia, once in a while"

Trembling words compel Svalbard to confess himself to feelings of powerlessness.

She doesn't know how cruel and merciless it is to throw an inquiry.

So Subaru remained a weak voice, unable to see her,

- Emilia doesn't know.

――――

Yes, I was letting it go.

As soon as I said it, Subaru realized that this was an eight-win kind that could not be helped.

He said it was also the lowest word to reject the other person's attitude of understanding and cut off his mind.

Silence falls.

Subaru knew that his remarks were of a kind that he refused to pursue any further, and that should have been clearly conveyed to Emilia.

I wanted to avoid being stepped into that battle reason any more.

No matter where you dig back, no matter where you look back, Subaru can't give you back the answer Emilia wants. Because digging up this topic any further is nothing but deepening each other's wounds.

"- Yes."

A breathless voice reaches Subaru, who remained unable to raise his face.

of the pitch close to exhaling. It was what Subaru said, and what she indicated from her side that she was unwilling to pursue the topic in depth any further.

Gaining a sense of relief in that reaction, Subaru exhales out of his shoulders.

Then at the very least, I think that for not being able to return the answer she asks for, it has to help her ahead -,

"Subaru, let's talk about what's coming"

"Yeah? Yeah, I thought I had to do that, too. In the meantime, I have to calm down more and ask about the situation before I can make a decision, but first Roz meets me..."

"Me and Roswar are going back to the Mansion tomorrow. And we'll have Subaru stay in the king's capital."

I couldn't swallow the meaning of the words I was told, and Subaru said, "What?" and make the question sound as it is.

whereas Subaru leans his neck incomprehensibly, Emilia, with a voice that suppresses emotions as much as possible,

"Originally, that's the deal, isn't it? Subaru came to King's Capital with the aim of getting the exhausted gate treated. I have that promise attached to Ferris, so all I have to do is get that kid treated and focus on restoring the gate."

"No, wait a minute"

"We're talking about taking care of you at Master Kursch's Karsten house rather than Ferris's while you stay in the Wang capital, and don't worry, Lem will leave you with us. We'll talk about it after the treatment is safe."

"So wait."

Emilia mouths her plans for this one in the future early. Understanding that his own will is not reflected there at all, Subaru calls his voice absurdly.

Face up, trying to look straight at her face, which had been distracting until then.

However,

"Emilia......"

"I've made up my mind. Focus on treatment."

Turn your back on this one, and Emilia will head to the door at the end of the story.

Unexpressive, emotionally unintelligible, Subaru stretches his finger over its hem trying to keep away from her at all times, remembering the chills that make her bottom-cold.

about, a bloodless body malaise disturbs vision in an attempt to interfere with the act, but somehow the fingertips barely reach its back as it leaves,

"How could you do that, suddenly? I..."

"... because that's how Subaru does it when I'm around, right?

Emilia responds to Subaru's pitiful voice without turning her face.

to the breathtaking Subaru of the word, Emilia lifted her face and turned upwards,

"Even when we first met. Even when there was a lot going on at the mansion. Besides, even today... it's all because you're with me, right?

"You don't have to put it that way..."

The way you say it, like obstinate, is too cute to fit.

Literally, it was a pretext that conceived a clear dissatisfaction. Subaru answers that way with a weak verbal butt, too uncommon a negative emotional irony for Emilia.

In Emilia's way, Subaru won't be rewarded too much for anything.

The content is the same as Subaru's mouth, but the road to it is different.

At least, because I just wanted you to know that.

"That's not what I'm trying to say.... I just"

"Just?"

"I just want to do something for Emilia, that's all."

"Mine, for?

To the words to be heard back, Subaru nods back with affirmation.

That was an invisible trick for her with her back turned, but I guess the move was also known to her due to signs. What did Emilia think when she heard it with her face slightly upwards, just a few seconds of silence falling between them,

- It's for me, isn't it?

Then to the sound of the spinned word, Subaru had none other than to cease.

――――

Beyond silence, blanks sweep through Subaru's brain.

Ununderstanding pushes through confusion, and the mind flirts with empty pain before anything else, rather than emotion than words floating.

I don't know what they said.

I don't even know what you're trying to say.

Is it sad, painful, regrettable, pathetic, angry, or crying?

"Me... just for you..."

I want you to do something that makes you happy.

I want to help you do what you want.

I want to protect you from all the factors that make you sad.

Subaru just thought his actions were what underlies them.

And I'm sure the behavior believed it to be something that would be passed on to her, even without words.

Such a solitary assumption that does not omit the emotions of others,

"- Wow."

Subaru, whose soft fabric had been hit in the face and relieved, was speaking out in surprise.

I feel it at the edge of my sight that it was a pure white robe with an embroidered eagle on it.

I realized that it was what was originally in Emilia's hands, and I also knew immediately that it was what was thrown towards Subaru.

But that abusive behavior and Emilia's appearance can't be connected this way.

Even if reason is convinced that it is Emilia who has thrown it, she doesn't want her emotions to acknowledge it.

'Cause Emilia was always kind in front of Subaru, full of compassion like a Mercy Mother, and she was mean not to admit it herself, but still a loving girl who couldn't stop applying it to others.

So Subaru couldn't acknowledge the reality in front of him.

My consciousness came to a standstill from the girl who believed it was something I wouldn't do, working so abusive that I was too weak.

"What, Emilia Tan...?

Without recognizing reality, Subaru lifts his gaze by calling his name.

Immediately in front of him, Emilia still stands in the position she reaches if she stretches her finger.

She turned her back until earlier, her long beautiful silver hair shaking to represent her emotions, her purple blue eyes looking straight down at herself.

I've never seen those purple blue eyes, shaken by waves of emotion.

This is the first time I've seen a stretched face, biting off lips that are about to tremble with passion.

I don't know why, even though such a look and glance don't suit her at all.

Even though there is no doubt that it is you who are being pointed at those two spearheads.

Subaru took her like that, knowing it was a misplaced sentiment.

I thought it was beautiful how she revealed her emotions like that.

"Whatever you do, stop lying for me -"

A wave of emotions is a drop of tears, filling those purple blue eyes.

shaking his neck small and sideways, Emilia spit out everything she was accumulating,

"You came to the castle, you fought Julius, you used magic... you said it was all for me? I didn't ask you to do that once!

"- Huh"

"You asked me for everything I thought I wanted Subaru to do!

――――

"Hey, remember? What I asked Subaru to do"

"Oh, I..."

Clearly, Subaru's thoughts are frozen, denied her actions from her mouth.

That's why I can't explore her inquiry into blurry memories.

To Subaru, who can't return the answer, but I guess Emilia didn't expect the answer. She exhaled small, closing her eyes firmly,

"I asked Subaru to wait at the inn with Rem."

――――

"If I use magic, I don't know what will happen to my body if I use the gate any more, so I asked you not to use magic."

In both "Please," I remember asking.

These are all words she told her about Svalbard and her desire to keep him company. Subaru heard it, but acted on it.

It was all about pushing her own malaise, but when she had to act as her salvation, she was pushed by an obsession to the point of being half unusual.

Contempt for those wishes can also be remedied by anything if we bring back the fruits of just trampling on them.

I didn't explicitly think so in words, but such light-hearted thoughts were always at the root of Subaru.

But as a result, Subaru scorned Emilia's wishes, and on top of that, he failed to achieve one decent achievement, exposing her to the likelihood of just pulling her leg.

But still, the source of action is that its beginning-

"I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said, I think. Really. I'm really reflecting. But! But no. It's not. I'm not doing it for me..."

I just wanted you to know that that thought at its root was real.

Subaru's tongue, however, cramped like a paralysis, rejecting any further line of words.

Subaru covers his mouth with his hands, unable to hide his frustration at the disobedience of his own body, which disobeys his will. Emilia watched such an ugly state of Subaru with a sad face.

to those eyes, in case of uncomfortable self-restraint, Subaru turned himself down and weak,

"Emilia's got me... believe me, won't you, huh?

That was too selfish, self-righteous, solitary language.

It was a word I shouldn't have said. That was not a good word for a human mouth earlier that refused to understand the other person.

"I want to believe it.... I want to believe Subaru"

He was about to cry.

In fact, maybe he was crying.

But Subaru didn't have the courage to confirm that.

I raised my face and couldn't have the courage to face that face, the girl I was supposed to love.

You could be crying, but you could have made me cry.

If you don't want me to make that face, that's how you've been running, but on the most pivotal occasion, Natsuki Subaru is...

"I'd like to believe it... but it wasn't Subaru who made me believe it. No!

Emotions explode.

I'm calm, rational, I've never been angry before, but still I shouldn't have ever been emotional and shackled off.

its shackles off, and Emilia mouths the overflowing emotions intact,

"Subaru won't keep a single promise. Promise...... I did, but you would easily tear it all apart and get to this point!?

I've trampled on it.

The promises we made, that is, trust.

When it's all for her, wield a great name that only serves her own good.

"You don't keep your promises to me, but you still want me to believe you... that's what they said, I can't. I can't..."

No, I wanted to shout out loud.

But in reality Subaru's throat doesn't spin his voice with trembling, and his neck can't move as if it had been solidified with lead.

Tremble, weep, flirt with emotions, and choose whether or not to keep turning your back and betraying the girl who is supposed to be looking for Subaru's honest answer.

That's how Subaru shakes off the hand that Emilia still offers with her childish emotions. To his stubborn demeanor like that, Emilia repeated her little breath,

"... Hey Subaru. Why is Subaru trying to help me so much?

That must have been the question Emilia has been hesitating to say over and over again.

The words reached Subaru's side so quickly that Emilia repeatedly rebelled it in her chest during her short breath.

More than once, she saw Subaru running until she was scratched, laughing naggingly, or quitting hurting. Patience, she must have had that doubt about Subaru jumping into a dead place and still kept her mouth shut.

So here, on this occasion, even if it finally came out on the table, it was an inevitable flow.

If he hadn't spit it out here, Emilia would have stayed in her chest with that question extended, and there was nothing more to Svalbard's appearance of powdering herself unchanged and trying to do to herself than to keep breaking her heart without knowing why.

Subaru realized that Emilia had clearly shown us the way of salvation in that way.

It was an inquiry where every word was thin and I assumed that I would not get anything on my own now that I had trampled on my promise, but still, I would be able to convey it sincerely.

- Why does Subaru devote himself to Emilia until so long?

- How can you be so obsessed with her since you came to this world?

It's

"Since I first met you, Subaru has helped me. I won't forget about that stolen goods store. Besides, let's go to the mansion. Ever, ever. Hey, why? How could Subaru do that to me?

What Subaru keeps giving herself is not inexplicable to Emilia.

From her point of view, Subaru comes out abruptly, suddenly saving my life, devoting herself even without telling me why, and if I forgive my heart, I will betray it and do the fool.

Because that's how I don't know.

But Subaru has a clear reason.

She seems to assume that she has done nothing to Subaru, but that is never the case.

Subaru continues to be given to her. And I'm just making a leap towards returning something comparable to that given.

The beginning is not Subaru. She gave me the beginning.

So Subaru's answer is -,

"I want to do something for you because you helped me..."

"If I... Subaru?

"Yes, I am."

In a world suddenly invited into another world, twilight on the way without knowing the right or the left, exposed to violence that could not be avoided, or possibly ended as it were.

"I don't think I know how much what you've done to me has saved me. But I... I was saved with it so much that I couldn't speak."

The fact that Emilia was there for me wasn't just to say that she saved Subaru's life.

It was Subaru itself, not life, that Emilia saved me on that occasion.

Even if I wanted to put that into words somehow, it was something I couldn't put into words. So Subaru is vague, shapeless. I just have to shape it a little bit and convey it with my thoughts on Emilia.

"I don't know, Subaru..."

Weak, Emilia shivers her lips as she drops her tail about to disappear.

Subaru stretched his fingertips to the point where he was about to disappear.

"What I don't know is, I can't help it. But it's true. I was saved by you. So what I'm doing is in return for what I was saved... but now"

That's not all. That's what I wanted to connect you to.

"- I don't know, I'm telling you!

It didn't reach her to shake her head, shake her silver hair, and explode her emotions.

Emilia looked at Subaru with tears in her eyes, roughing her breath and shaking her shoulders with emotion.

"Did I help Subaru?... That can't be true. The first time me and you met was about a stolen goods store, something that couldn't have made contact with Subaru outside of there!

"No, talk to me..."

"If there's a contact before there, if that's true, I... even I..."

Covering his face with his palms and hiding Subaru's appearance from his sight, Emilia has no ears to listen to. She was trying to lock herself completely in the shell and Subaru's voice had no power to stop it.

I don't know what the hell touched her weak spot.

Even if I don't know, I have to make words.

So Subaru stays sudden in emotion,

"You may not know, but still listen to me. I'm telling you the truth! I'm telling you, for the first time in this world..."

Moments - when the curb of the world came, Subaru realized that he had touched the ban.

A world where time freezes and the movement of all things stalls.

Even the sound of his own fierce heartbeat turns away, the voice of Emilia that he has ever heard, and there comes a silent world where even the remnants of the sound of the high earrings disappear.

Subaru is not outraged by his own detachment and the shadow of an enforcer who does not read the situation.

Shadows are born. A merciless executor shows up independently of Subaru's inner indignation.

The right arm, more clearly shaped than before, immediately shapes from fingertip to shoulder to approach Subaru. And, similarly, the left hand born is unbalanced to the elbow.

His left hand strokes the stiff Subaru cheek gently thanks to his love.

The right arm sneaks into the chest of the tense Subaru and touches to mercy the heart that plays life.

Severe pain crushes Subaru's entire body as the roots of his chewing teeth remain motionless.

The pain of being torn apart so much that the sense of loss that you are about to disappear, the pain of not being allowed to strike around that which screams out, falls unilaterally as punishment for Subaru, who has broken the shadow's established prohibition.

I don't know how long the pain lasted.

Was it a few seconds, minutes, or hours?

The stupidity of counting time in the stopped world of time can never be a means to pass on pain, it is merely a play of thought, a shake.

Shadows to lose, a world that begins to move as soon as possible.

Emilia in front of her is still in turmoil, and Subaru, desperately prepared to have to stop it, has no choice but to respond with a rough breath to the dodgy overflowing sweat.

The pain, the pain, the shadow of the curse, interrupts Subaru's thoughts.

The words I was supposed to say rolled down to the back of my throat, and the sincere thoughts I was supposed to convey were on both shoulders of Subaru with no place to go and turned into heavy stones.

"... again, you won't say anything"

The frozen voice of Emilia's emotions, like she gave up, disappointed, slapped her eardrum.

Both the emotions that seemed to cry out and the ones that shook his chest, all of which pushed over as a wave, scratched and pushed Emilia's heart away.

And Subaru, the only being who had the means to stop it, chose silence rather than reaching out to her for salvation.

As a matter of fact, even if it wasn't, I could only feel it for her. And if you try to deny it's different, the black shadow will tighten Subaru's gut again.

Out-of-place anger has engulfed me.

A grief without a place to go was swelling up all the time ripping my chest open.

What do you want me to do?

If you sincerely try to convey your thoughts, Emilia won't have the ear to listen to it.

If you try to tell us everything on the road so far, the shadow of the curse will hinder it and get in the way.

"What I want to do to you... is you want me, me first..."

"... that's not me. Subaru."

To a weak, following, frightened and spinning word by a black demon hand, Emilia denied it by spreading a pitiful emotion that she could clearly see,

"It's not me. I'm just looking inside me."

"No, it's not... it's not..."

Lie down, cover your face with your palms, and Subaru leaks powerless words of denial that do not reach you.

Emilia, the first girl who picked up Subaru who fell into this world. The memory doesn't exist in this girlfriend. The history, the world, is only in Subaru.

But still, it was definitely Emilia.

If the same situation were available, she would undoubtedly behave the same way.

When Subaru was in an alley, trying to finish that life unharmed, trying to crush it for nothing, that moment that saved me, I will surely visit.

Even if it hadn't happened in this world, it certainly did.

Even history, assuming it wasn't there in this world, Subaru continues to be saved by her by extension.

There was only enough gratitude to exhaust the words.

Yet there is no place in the world where words merely convey it can be found.

Still, I believed it was telling her.

I wanted to believe it. That's why I wanted to convince myself that I was allowed to be on my side.

"How can you not understand..."

"... Subaru"

"I thought Emilia... you would understand..."

"In Subaru, I'm amazing"

Sadly disconnected, the separation of hearts was put into that word.

Sharply, in front of Subaru, who raised his face, Emilia turned her gaze away and turned to the side.

Floating in my mouth was a lonely smile, which also seemed to mock me, and it was like pitying Subaru for wasting like a child if I didn't know it.

"I can tell you everything, everything, even if they don't ask me. Subaru's pain, sorrow, anger, I can make you feel like you"

"... ahhh"

"- You have to tell me, I don't know, Subaru"

Denied. It was smashed. Fantasy, it crumbles to pieces.

My shoulders get heavy, something invisible all over my body covers me, and fierce nausea strikes Subaru. Vision circles, cloudy emotions swirl around in your chest -,

Emilia thought she'd figure it all out without having to say anything.

Emilia believed that Subaru's pain and sorrow would feel the same way.

Emilia hoped that Subaru's thoughts and everything would be absorbed and accepted.

- It was too, arrogant, arrogant, solitary a push.

"My..."

Denied. It's been denied.

This is how I've fallen into this world, and believe me, I've been stopping by. To that.

I would have squeezed my life, eaten my teeth in pain, tied them up, endured them, overcome them with grief and wipes my tears, and that and all of this, to continue to protect the idols that I had imagined.

Well, I could see a selfish ideal place that didn't even make a sound and collapse.

"Previously, all..."

My lips tremble. It's hot in the back of my eyes. My tongue cramps and my heart beats so loudly.

Face up. I have eyes for Emilia. The purple blue eyes look only at grief. Because my face in those eyes was too miserable to be saved.

"- Thanks to me, you're doing something about it!?

With a cut of gold, he shook up an outrage that rocked the holding room.

"The badge was stolen, in a stolen collection! Shit, it's dangerous. I saved you from a killer! I'm in shape! All because you mattered!!

The fingertips grabbing the sheets are faint, and the blood begins to stain the nail-eating palms.

The screaming voices were all turned upside down and echoed in an applause of deafness.

"Even at the Mansion, yes! I got stuck everywhere, I was desperate! You got your head cracked, your neck blown off, and you still helped everyone in the village! Even Rem, even Ram, must have come in the best shape! Because I was there, wasn't I?

List your activities.

As much as I can think of, I line up my accomplishments and pursue her shadow as far away from me.

"It would have been worse without me! No one could have helped! Nobody, nobody, nobody! All of them, all of them! Guys, I got this! Because I was there!

With the stolen goods, Emilia should have finished. So is Felt, and so is Grandpa Rom.

Even through that, in the mansion, Lem died, the villagers died out, or the curse could have even spearheaded Roswar, Beatrice, or Ram, who remained in the mansion. Naturally, there was also a potential threat to Emilia's life there.

It is my own merit to have eliminated them all.

Proud, rewarding, as a result of Natsuki Subaru's actions.

Because this is all I've done, and this is all I've done.

"You owe me, you just can't pay it back -!"

I betrayed even the thought that was supposed to have been at the root of my actions, and shouted.

Feelings that were never rewarded led Subaru to the extreme of confusion, with vanity seeking praise, thirst for fulfillment, and selfishness hoping to be loved.

And that, for each other, was a decisive word.

"Yeah, right"

A pounding, trembling voice was called Subaru, sweating on his forehead and roughing his breath.

The sound was convincing, giving up, determined, that is, over.

"I owe Subaru, wow, a lot, a lot"

"Oh, yeah. So I..."

"So give it all back and let's get it over with"

Clearly, Subaru looked up to jump at the words told.

And when he saw in Emilia's eyes, staring at this one, that only emptiness was spreading, omitting his own remarks, Subaru realized that he had said irrevocably.

I left it to the momentum, pushed away by the flurry of emotions, to say what I shouldn't.

I trampled down to my, purest, deep-rooted thoughts of that emotion and ruined everything with my child's eclamptic anger.

If you consider yourself and her relationship to be a 'borrowing' relationship, it's

"No... no, no, no, that's not what I wanted to say..."

If the "borrowing" scale matches, that's where the relationship ends.

I have to if I bring my intentions into what I should have done that would have cut free thoughts for you if I wanted to do something.

"That's enough. - Natsuki Subaru"

My dear, since the first time we met, she had called Subaru by her first name.

When that girlfriend called Subaru by his full name, he got the understanding that Subaru was too late to do anything anymore.

To Svalbard, Emilia does not reach out.

She rocks her silver hair to shake it off and turns her back on this one,

"I'll have Rem later, so follow that kid. I'll leave everything to him after he stays in the capital."

I can't respond. And I'm not even asked to do that.

Emilia walks away. Instead of stretching your fingers out on that back, even the courage to drop that back off doesn't come to Subaru right now.

Physically distant distance. And there is a distance of mind that was further away than that.

"Me, right..."

Second, Emilia's leg with her hand on the door stopped and such a grunt fell indoors.

Instead of letting Subaru speak and listen, she whispered to herself,

"I was hoping. Maybe Subaru won't treat me special... just Subaru. I was wondering if you would look at me like other, normal people, like normal girls, without distinction..."

In the hall of the king's election, she asked for fair treatment.

I guess the fact that it is a half elf has forced her to have painful time enough to even wish for such a whisper.

But...

"No, I can't."

Pompous, Subaru also responds with a small grunt.

Every Emilia didn't sound like asking Subaru for an answer. So Subaru's whining is also meant to make herself heard, not the body of answers to her words.

rebelling the words in her mouth, Subaru shook his neck sideways without force,

"Even if you've pulled out all the humans in the world, you can't. You're the only one who can't see Emilia with the same eyes as any other human being."

That's all I can't go wrong, it was the real deal.

The door closes and the air calms down.

Only Subaru is left in the room, and he wanders his gaze around on the sleeping table.

Second, a robe hooked to the end of the sleeping area and about to fall on the floor caught my eye.

Reach out and hold it in your hand. I still feel like the warmth of whoever held it there is still there, and Subaru held it over his chest as if trying to connect and stop it from going away,

- And on this day, for the first time, Natsuki Subaru became truly alone in another world.