Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu
Chapter IV.36: At the End of Ununderstanding
- The moment I was dragged out the door, what Subaru felt was the floating feeling of heaven and earth flipping upside down.
"- Ouch!?
I fall off my back to the hard ground and gasp my throat at at the pain of being squeezed out of my lungs. Rolling down the floor with that momentum, hitting the wall and finally stationary. shook his head and raised his face to the feeling of being thrown out, Subaru opened his aching eyes,
"Beatrice...... eh"
Make the girl's name sound like she couldn't even call her name when she broke up, but that no longer reaches the girl in the matter. 'Crossing the Door' was established and there was an impossible separation between the two of them. Her rejection is high and deep, and Subaru's voice never reaches her.
"How could I... always...!
If not after failure, then you have to choose the worst and worst option before you can realize the mistakes you have made?
Why is it always not enough, weak or foolish to only wish for the best means, the best future, for that matter?
"Why did you evangelize... You, what the...!?
The black fitting she had in her hands - the presence of the gospel decisively opened the distance from her.
There have been few Subaru so far, and I have firmly believed that there is something 'something' between me and Beatrice that I have certainly built up in a short time.
Whether they were slapping each other in the hatred or in a relationship where they looked disgusting at each other when they saw their faces, only Subaru believed there was something that just did not end.
That was a assumption. It was thoughtful. It was the extreme of misunderstanding.
I stubbornly believed there should be Subaru. It was a product of solitude, and Beatrice only had verbal feelings for Subaru. She was merely attached to Subaru, as the gospel commanded, just for the sake of deceiving her mission, and genuinely neglected and hated Subaru.
"... really, really?"
I was told that the bond I thought was a bluff, and I wanted Subaru to deny it. But Beatrice cut it off with anger.
Affirming Subaru's imagination that it was a fake bond, he said that he had not shaken his heart or anything to the existence of Subaru, but had everything so far on the sole ground of his sense of duty.
"Oh, and you laughed, and you were angry, and you tried to protect me... and everything was just a mysterious lie... you know what?"
It won't be possible, and Subaru's weak heart still wants to deny it. At the last moment, Beatrice's tears during her breakup cloud the authenticity of her words.
Everything is still too early to draw conclusions just within yourself.
"Whatever the book says, I remember I was helped by you... it's a fact that doesn't change, because I'm the only one who knows. I owe you"
In the loop starting with the mansion, Subaru was saved by Beatrice many times.
I went to her forbidden library to "Back to Death" and put my thoughts together, and when I was exposed to the curse of the Warcraft, I literally had my life saved in hopes of cursing it. In the world of the loop that has disappeared, he has kept Subaru, who lets Rem die and is chased by Ram and Roswar, until he has twisted the covenant only at the tip of his mouth.
Though its greatest benevolence is no longer in this world, but only in Subaru's bosom.
"At that time... I was so happy"
He saved Subaru, who assumed so, that one of his allies was gone.
Beatrice was the only one who considered the two Rem and Ram enemies, saving Subaru, who could not read through Roswar's thoughts and rubbed them off without even believing in Emilia.
That moment, how much the tentative first covenant at that time saved Subaru, it was an indelible favour to her that could not be exhausted in words.
"I'll pay back what I owe you. I don't know if you lent it to me from me, or if you respected the will and doings of the book, because I don't know either... make sure of that."
It is no longer clear that we can throw the question at her, who has cemented his will to reject Subaru. So Subaru's readiness makes no sense in this world, and he carries it over to the next.
Lift your right hand. Hands with three missing fingers. Pulling shoulders and hips. Striked head. Just a little shorter tongue. None of this is an unforgettable pain.
I have a lem behind my closed lid. Petra, Frederica floated, Beatrice turned her back here, and Emilia floated at the end.
- Everything Subaru took away in this world and couldn't grasp.
To get it back, we stomp on what we can do. Beatrice blocked me and it didn't come true. Let's do it again and jump into the spiral again.
――――
Stretching his shortened tongue, Subaru solidifies his readiness to chew a thousand times again.
Once I think of a self-determination that has been compromised, my suffering is revived and I am scared. Weakness is created, feet tremble. Readiness is a word play, not worth much before the end.
Screw those backward negative emotions and push through the biggest negative emotions that come to death. And just as I pray to go back to the time of redoing everything, Subaru tries to close his eyes for the last moment -.
"... where are you?"
I finally realized that the place I had reached through "Door Crossing" was unrecognizable.
That was an unknown space for Subaru, unlike any of the familiar Roswar mansions.
Slightly damp cobblestones, depressed and crawling thin dirty walls. Rusty metal on a messily placed desk - something like a tool scatters and evokes discomfort from visual information.
And more importantly,
"Uh-huh!?"
Once you realize it, you can't help but be aware of it, the stench until it's dense.
Unlike the rotten smell of raw garbage, but only described as rotten, the stench evokes vomiting sensation and Subaru squeezes gastric fluid out of his empty stomach when he puts his hand on his mouth.
Subaru glanced around as he pummeled yellow diarrhea on the floor and exhaled in a rough breath. The more I see it, the more unknown the space, the more heterogeneity stands out than unknown.
The space is a cobbled, dim room, the size of which is about two rooms in the Roswar Mansion. It's not as spacious as it sounds, but it's not a small space.
There are desks and mysterious apparatus scattered around the corner of that room, and the opposite of the desk - roughly in the space occupying the majority of the room,
"A broken desk and a crystal...? Crystals, demon ore shards? And this hole..."
In front of the eyes that look down, the wreckage of the destroyed desk and the demonic ore that has lost its power are scattered, and there is a hole in the mouth about four meters in diameter ahead. It also has a hole so deep that you can't see the bottom even if you look out for the scarcity of light sources.
If you look up at the wall, it is the moss that emits a light blue glow from the wall. Crowded in forests and such. That seems to have the nature of absorbing and glowing atmospheric mana, and even forests around mansions and such can be avoided if you rely on starlight and light moss lights.
Crawling through the ground aware of its moss lighting, staring at the bottom of the hole, disgusted by the wet feel of his pants and the mucus that dirty his palms.
The quiet, cold wind was coming up from the bottom, and that was the nose bending - no, it seemed to be bringing in the stench from there that could crush the nose.
"Ugh... Ugh. Inside, you don't have the courage to peek and you're right... what's that smell?
If this was the unique raw odor of what was pregnant with life, Subaru's imagination might have assumed one of the worst and the worst that would go up. But the stench that pours in is something else than rotting meat and water, and if you insist, it's close to releasing chemicals.
Irritation of the nostrils with unparalleled pain that you feel when you smell odorous chemicals. What comes from the bottom of a slightly dark hole is that sort of non-biological odor.
- What else?
Giving up physically and mentally to check the bottom of the hole, Subaru looks around the room consciously wiping his nose head and teasing his mouth breathing.
What stands out is the wreckage of a rolling desk at your feet and the squeezing of demonic light stones. The iron desk had been smashed with a slight impact, and the demon ore was apparently piled on that desk. When I flipped over the shaky desk, I noticed the tattoo engraved in such a way as to carve it into the top of the bent desk.
"Magic Formation... it looks like..."
These sorts of magic formations are a kind of promise in different world fantasies, but I don't remember seeing anything like it since I came to this world. Basically, magic is the magic of this world that interferes with the outside world via the flesh of living beings, and I never came across any of them other than magic lights or magic instruments, which are some exceptions.
So, the surprise at discovering the magic formation was one thing.
"In fact, does it work? Even if there is, why are we here? I don't know why we put the magic team here."
Directly, he could not initiate magic on this occasion, or he might have had the power to receive remote magic measures. Or it's also considered a system for continuing and performing some sort of surgical ceremony without an operator,
"Then you know why the demon ore is rolling with no contents beside it."
The view that the contents of the demonic ore, which had been externalized as an energy tank, were emptied and as a result the magic formation lost its potency - would be most obvious. What you don't know when you get that conclusion is who the hole is and the desk that was destroyed. The possibility that when the procedure was interrupted, it was supposed to explode and scatter from room to room was almost impossible to discard.
Nevertheless,
"In the end, there's no answer to the question as to where this place is"
A dark hole like you don't even know how far it lasts. Magic formations and demon ore that I think were performing some sort of surgical ceremony. Observe a room with a rotten, stinking stench and pick up another desk and tool - hardware full of red rust - that rolls into the corner of the room.
They are roughly similar to tools when making plastic models, such as pencils or nippers. This is also applied to the same mucus that pollutes the floor, more importantly how much time has passed since it was no longer used, the weathering that crumbles and becomes dust from the edge where Subaru's hands touch.
Tools as well as desks were in the same condition, broken legs due to aging. They were already on the verge of becoming dust due to too much wind, and as soon as I gently put my legs on, I lost shape and changed to scum iron.
I don't even have the information I can get from you. Only one thing, if you have something to worry about,
"The way it broke and when it broke is much different from the desk in front of the hole..."
Unlike this one, which became brittle over time and had collapsed, the desks by the hole were twisted with obvious force of destruction. If you also look at the condition of the broken scaffold, you can also see that its destruction is extremely recent - within just a few days.
"Broken Room... Who's For What..."
With his doubts in his mouth, Subaru finds his thoughts ridiculous.
What shall we do with the questions that arise? I don't think it's like I get an answer for thinking about it, and more importantly, the problems Subaru embraces are already so full that I can't hold them off with both arms.
On top of this, we must avoid imitations that would speed up the collapse, such as packing small items in the gaps in our luggage. More importantly, the very act of turning consciousness to another was intolerable as a bad scratch that postponed the time for self-determination that was now approaching.
However, it should be noted that the heterogeneity of this room does not grasp Subaru and let go of those difficult 'shame' emotions. I'm seeing something very important right now...
――――
Unanswered certainty, Subaru turns around his neck as he is guided by it, searching for the exit of the room. It is unlikely that Subaru was thrown into a room of doors that could not be opened or closed, beyond the fact that it was' door-crossed 'that threw him here.
Subaru then rampantly drops himself into the room - finding a small open and closed door for ventilation or something, provided at the top of the room wall.
Other than that, I don't see any doors that could be the entrance to or exit from the room. Perhaps the formal door was beyond the collapsed hole - on the other side of the inaccessible room.
At the time of swallowing that fact, Subaru abandons the path of choosing a legitimate means of escape. As he slips the perspiration of his palms and unidentified mucus down his pants, he fills his breath small and stretches his fingers out to the opening and closing door of the case.
Is the opening and closing doors at heights such as stretching back and finally reaching closest to analogy with dust chutes in size? It's not so small that humans can't get through, but Subaru isn't luxurious enough to make it into a passage.
As he pains with the grip of his fingerless right hand, he makes a rusty door sound and opens it, he screws his body into the narrow passage and begins to move. It's a narrow place like a vent. Worst of all, it considered the possibility of being a hotbed for insects, mice and other things, but surprisingly clean - but only salvation was the dusty passage, but with no signs of creatures at all.
Approximately three minutes through the narrow road. The second half is also used to crawling forward, reaching the goal point where the behavior is smoothed out. When you descend in the same manifold into the room connected by this vent with the previous room, check the perimeter. I paid the utmost attention to see if there were any similar holes,
"That's different from the room I was in earlier. Compared to what looked like a lab, this one looks like a waiting room."
A degree of size that further halves half of the previous room. It's set up as a room that just passes through, and besides two kinds of doors that walk through the ground, there are no objects that look like objects. Correct, a waiting room.
Now if the magazine and chair had been placed, I would have said the perfect formation -.
"In the direction we've been going, beyond this door... and I knew it"
Twisting and pushing the twisting door knob, the hole spread right in front of him along with the collapsing scaffold. It leaks a small exhalation into a mostly destructive state, and Subaru closes the door with little service due to mental health problems. - The stench is sneaking into this room, and I regret that my judgment was slow.
And when I gently shake my neck to the side, this time to the opposite door. The end of this door should be an unconfirmed space for Subaru -
"………………"
Naturally, I can't stand the sweat that I should have wiped on my palms and the cold sweat flowing down my back.
I don't know where beyond this door is, but in the worst case scenario for that place, I just needed to imagine what was there.
"If this is... inside the mansion..."
It's an unrecognizable room, but it's not strange to have Elsa in front of you as soon as you open it and exit. And assuming his killer was at present, there was no confidence in Subaru that he could remain calm either.
A rush towards self-determination to the harsh point of having to die as soon as possible translates into hatred that reminds us that we have chewed up the roots of our teeth.
Petra with that blade, Frederica - the anomaly who killed Rem just thought he might be there, and he gets so angry that Subaru's brain is about to boil.
The feeling of the curse of wanting to be there and the shallow raw thirst for not being. Swaying between the emotions of both extremes, Subaru carved a ferocious laugh into its mouth,
――――
Whether you were there or not, that mad emotion can't betray you.
Before the world came to the end of such insane thinking,
"-"
Witnessing an unlikely sight, Subaru forgot me at this moment.
- In Subaru's brain, there was actually an answer to the question of where this unrecognizable space was.
In the first place, his strange possibility that Subaru was free to enter and exit even in a sense in the forbidden library, with little such as a place where he had never set foot in the Roswar mansion - if that were to remain, nothing more than at the end of the door of the 'evacuation route', where he could never reach that door twice.
Once blocked by the spirits of grey body hair, the second time in this loop is where he was forced to disperse relative to the murderer. Therefore, Subaru has never worshipped the end of that door.
So, even though I was distrustful of the place where the unknown room came together, I didn't have any doubt that the place was part of the Roswar Mansion.
"Where... here?
Remaining stunned, he raises a voice of doubt to no one but a dumb voice.
Front of Subaru, it is not the cold, dark underground passageway that spreads at the end of the open door - but in the midst of the depressed and green trees thriving nature, which is also strange,
"Ah, morning...?
In the sky I looked up from the gaps in the trees, I saw the presence of the rising sun. From the height of the sun, and the feeling of the wind, I guess on my skin that it is the early morning wind, and further suspicion scratches my brain.
It was before the evening that Subaru returned to the mansion, and considering the subsequent conversations with Petra and Frederica, as well as the passage of time such as the Elsa raid, Subaru's injuries were just before the night began to tarry - and that is now nearly half a day away.
"While I was unconscious, or...!?
Once, Svalbard is unconscious when he bites off his tongue and stomps to self-determination. When he woke up again, he forgot that his remorse for being healed of his injuries and not being cut to death preceded him in becoming conscious, but how unconscious Subaru was in the forbidden library.
I remember Beatrice twitching that place was' a place disconnected from the passage of time '. And I don't know how credible it was.
"Keep it up, if anything gets overwritten save......!
This is going to be a hell of a thing.
Subaru must live his life as soon as possible before many times a matter of concern can be repainted into reality. I don't, but there's another emotion that claims to exist to bump its anxiety and forehead together. This is how the emotion was screaming.
- We have to see where this place is.
I don't know what that means. If you look back at how it's been so far and see the perniciousness of Back to Death, you should kill yourself right now.
But the badly calm part of Subaru is proposing it after understanding the circumstances in which he is now placed.
"- Ku, shit!
Kicking the ground, spitting and discarding, Subaru steps into the forest in front of him. It's a conversation with Petra that floats behind her brain as she runs through gaps in the trees.
The evacuation route leads to the mountain in the back of the mansion, to the mountain hut there, and when evacuated, he said he should be able to escape with emergency exit bags, etc.
If you believe that word, it will mean that the place now is its mountain hut, and that what you are running is a mountain behind you that you have stepped into several times. However,
"Is that the mountain hut now? Where's the take-out bag? In the first place...... what remedy is being placed in a place that seems to be left alone for so long......!?
The only thing that Subaru has been in that place is a bunch of physical evidence that supports the unobtrusive space and unpleasant hunch. Too little coincides with what Petra said. More importantly, if Frederica and Rem had gotten their hands on it on a regular basis, there would be no explanation for the deterioration of that place. As confident as I can say about that, Subaru knows how to work as those two maids.
Running through the woods, the lack of slope also raises questions. Is the cabin, which is supposed to be in the mountains, built a hundred meters without a slope around it? I almost lose sight of where I am and get frustrated that I don't look right in the first place.
And the critical points of frustration and distrust that arose were unexpectedly to be broken down quickly.
The trees open and the sight clears on the lid, causing Subaru to stop the momentum on the horizontal slip. The pavement, or abusive working ground, is a testament to the fact that people come and go, and more importantly, it truly represents that the far-sighted but side-by-side houses are the land where people live.
Keeping them in mind, Subaru's thought was finally stunned and tangled in a true sense.
Because this view...
"Let," Sanctuary "!?
It was where I was supposed to say goodbye half a day ago and count on it to take a whole day to get back.
Lift your right hand according to your fears. I don't have enough fingers. Missing. 'Back to Death' is not activated. And yet now I'm standing where I'm not supposed to be.
"What, so... here. Is' Crossing the Door 'the reason...?
Other than that, I have no answer.
Subaru was sent from the mansion's forbidden library at Beatrice's hand to the corner of the "Sanctuary" in "Crossing the Door". But how did that happen?
"Distance doesn't matter... do you? No, I did get transferred from the mansion to the village stables once..."
That was still an acceptable distance in terms of distance as a level of metastasis. But given the distance between the 'sanctuary' and the mansion, the long journey to this point is clearly out of imagination and common sense.
Drink down the fact that you have witnessed those supernormal powers too often, and Subaru, scratching his head u, is forced to belly his thoughts,
"Anyway! If you're in the 'Sanctuary' right now...... Roswar!!
I'm going to run back under that clown, and I'm going to let you spit out all of that thought.
Roswar, who was generous with Beatrice at the Mansion. His demon would necessarily know her qualities, even why she holds the gospel.
If you know everything and you're trying to clap a subaru you don't know on top of it, that's fine. I'll punch that nose in the face, burned or torn, and I'll eat it up in my throat and let it all spit out.
――――
Now, at that moment, Subaru runs out forgetting the restrictions he has to self-harm, dyeing his thoughts with bright red anger to the edge of the village. Roswar walks into a sleeping building.
The speed of Subaru, who became the incarnation of anger, the flesh running through the 'sanctuary' abruptly invites fatigue, forgetting the suffering, to the place of purpose.
kick-breaking momentum and opened the door, Subaru stripped his fangs as he broke into the house,
"Roswar! Face it! I really want to ask you something, I've got a heap of it!
Subaru jumps in with a sword screen that could be subjected to a cage of sided maids and cuts the roughest of openings. No response from the indoors, Subaru rambled open one last door as he crammed into the bedroom with high footsteps,
"I won't let you cut white, and no lies. Wash away everything you're hiding..."
Subaru's voice interrupted me trying to keep trying to get it.
A grudge festival condensed that previous dissatisfaction, because I didn't see anywhere in the room where I should have heard it.
He's disappearing, further anger at that fact boils his brain. Svalbard leaps out of the building as he kicks his sleeping table thoroughly and adds more anger to his painful nail tips.
If so, the house of Lewes - are you meeting Emilia, or are you taking Lewes or Garfield under? Either way, it would be nice to move out as soon as Subaru is gone. The timing is good enough for such a reckoning to work that it wasn't really a major injury.
An uncut spiral of negative emotion if you doubt it. Keep your thoughts dominated by them, with a sharp eye for the 'sanctuary' - once again Subaru gets an understanding too late.
"... ah?
The time is early in the morning, to the best of Subaru's knowledge, and within the day-to-day time schedule of "Sanctuary," it should be time for the residents of "Sanctuary" to start preparing breakfast and laundry. The absence of evacuees eliminates the need for cooking, but it is nevertheless necessary for each household to cook.
It's supposed to be, but I can't see any signs of that everyday business. No, before that,
"It's not just the Rosewales...... guys, where have you been?
Whether you look right or left, you don't see one human child.
From the time I thought about it I went through the woods and back to the 'sanctuary', I don't remember being so different from anyone else on my way here, or seeing anyone.
Considering that the absolute number of inhabitants of the 'sanctuary' is not so large, how little of an eye was drawn to it as a possibility, such as poking through the middle of the village and not seeing anyone's face?
"That should be..."
Shaking his head, Subaru knocks on the door of a private house nearby so as to shake off his unpleasant hunch. Knock, still make sure you don't hear back, open the door, peek inside. - It's deserted.
There were two beast-eared women in this house, who were supposed to live with their sisters.
As far as memories go in that way, Subaru takes one peek after another at the private houses he sees, and each time he is betrayed of his expectations and accumulates disappointment.
Nobody, nobody anywhere. People's signs are disappearing from The Sanctuary.
"Somebody! There's someone out there!? Where have you been?!?
A bad feeling piles up.
I remember this sense of impatience, this sensation of unimaginable loss of body.
It is in the midst of a confrontation with witchcraft, unprepared for anything, the memory of a tragedy that welcomes Subaru back to the village of Aram late - a folding corpse, a host of dead faces of pain and despair. Face acquaintances who have lost color, and Petra, who broke and will never move again.
"- Ah!"
Fear runs up Subaru's back and runs out to be pushed out by tremendous anxiety. With a screaming voice leaking, Subaru is just one place to head.
The edge of the village, an international splendid building. It is a manifestation of the few respects as chiefs that bind this' sanctuary ', now in the bunk for one girl who rents the place.
"- Emilia!!
Jumping in, Subaru looks around the room screaming for the name of his beloved girl.
A silver-haired girl looks back at Subaru with her sleeping eyes, looks surprised after several blinks, and then smiles "Good morning, Subaru," enough to make her chest ache -,
――――
The place where you were supposed to look back, but it still remained deserted.
Run over to the sleeping area and stretch your fingers to touch the messy sheets. The warmth isn't there, and it's already been quite a while since someone slept away from here.
Make sure that's all. Subaru popped out of the house, his legs. Now his last stronghold. A place where you might tell me the answer to this situation, a senseless irrationality that doesn't make sense.
"Ha... Ha...!
I can't breathe. Running with the taste of blood behind his throat, Subaru rushes to the sleeping graveyard of the 'Sanctuary', the 'Witch of Greed' Echidna.
On the road, the obstruction of Garfield, who was supposed to be sitting around, made it to the front of the graveyard without his appearance. Is that salvation, or would you have been lucky to have been able to ascertain what he looked like even if he had been obstructed...
"No... what side down..."
I couldn't save just one of his sisters, so how could I face him like no other?
It's terribly ugly and negligible that you don't omit that weakness, even though you feel a sense of impatience that makes you feel relieved that you weren't there, that nobody can find you.
Throw away the sentiment with a head shake and Subaru turns his foot to the graveyard undisturbed.
It's not time to start a "trial," or maybe some sort of action comes from the witch's side. In anticipation of it, and as to it, Subaru asked for the appearance of a witch who might answer the inquiry -
"- Ka, fu"
The moment he stepped out, Subaru gained the feeling that something was going through his body.
Look slowly down. Beneath the chest plate, above the lower abdomen, in the middle of the torso - where a pompous, round fist-large hole had arisen.
"Huh... huh?
Reach out and hit the hole. And, make a noise and a lot of blood will blow out of that hole. Slightly blocked with palms, but the hole penetrates the body and also opens on the back side. There was no stopping them both, and even a body that was losing too much blood fell in without maintaining its posture.
- Pain, no. Understood, I can't. What happened?
Die. Die. Die. Death, I know. It turns out it's coming to the present.
Why, why, to this. Elsa? So far after Subaru? How far is the Mansion and the 'Sanctuary'? Beatrice, no way. Gospel. She said, why? Rem. Who's like this? Die. Fear. What? Who? Emilia. Witch. Witch. Demon...
"-"
Vision begins to glow. The end begins to draw near.
Expected death comes in unexpected ways. Subaru doesn't feel relieved that he's finally dead. Just even, I'm afraid of death now.
Even if you say you're ready to die, this is what happens if death comes through a different path than you're prepared to die. The mind is disturbed, the thirst for shallow raw screams, and while the soul refuses to be stripped from the world - still, 'death' slowly erodes Subaru,
- No, no, no.
Subaru's heartbeat stills with only his powerlessness flushing down his cheek, which he can't help.
The face of death, which obtained the long-awaited death in an unwanted way, is distorted by pain and fear, and no one can blame the pity of its death.
"- Huh"
Make a noise, it was chewed.
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