Rika

#26

"Come back"

A voice boomed in my head and my body jerked up with my mouth open with a big gasp. What the fuck happened?

I maniacally looked around and saw Rika sitting right next to me. Looking calm and composed, as she always does.

"You.. wait.."

I brought my hands onto my throat – I remember the last scenes before I blacked out. I was sure, Rika had a knife, and she slit my throat. I was bleeding. I was dying – no. I actually died. But now I felt nothing in my throat. My skin was intact. Nothing had been cut.

"What happened? Did I fall asleep? Fuck, it's like I had the craziest dream ever!"

"It wasn't a dream"

"huh?"

"I killed you. You were dead. And I brought you back"

"What?!" – how was one supposed to react to something like this?

"I don't know if you should count yourself lucky, or cursed. But you came back from death, unlike the girl and the man you killed before"

Fuck, she knew. How, why?

"Not that it was your own doing. I brought you back from death"

"Sorry, I'm extremely confused. Could you please explain..?"

She chuckled and continued.

"Well, you almost killed me too. Remember you dropped on my head?"

"er.. yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"Stop fucking saying that!" Rika snapped.

"hugh… I'll calm down and explain. You broke my neck. I should have died. Any normal human being WOULD have died"

"But… you survived..?"

"Yes. I told you you can't kill me"

"We've had this conversation before.. you are something else aren't you? You are… immortal?"

"You fool. I will say this again. YOU can't kill me. Not again. Never again"

"I'm still confused.. maybe I have a concussion? Is all this real?"

"It depends the way you look at it. But I will save that explanation until later"

"I'm completely lost. I don't understand anything at all"

"You don't need to. At least not for now. Just trust me and do as I say from now on"

"er… ok?"

"I will say this just once. Get it engraved on the inside wall of your thick skull – don't die. Don't you ever dare to die. Only I can take your life, and bring you back"

As I sat there still puzzled, I noticed she sneakily took out a dagger from somewhere and was adjusting her grip on it on her side – oh shit, not again..

This time she stabbed the knife right into my chest, shoving the blade between my ribs and puncturing my heart in an instant. It was fucking painful. And all went black. Man. This is getting old quickly.

Predictably, I woke up soaked in sweat. I don't know how much time has passed, but I was in my room. Things were starting to make a little sense, although it was crazy to believe this could actually happen – coming back from death? And Rika has power to do that? But why only me?

I took out my phone from my pocket to check what time it was. It was close to the midnight and I saw that I had an unread message.

"Come meet me at the rooftop after school tomorrow"

Right. I trust you this time. It is Rika.

Next day after school I was walking up the stairs leading to the rooftop again. I have done this a few times now, but I guess things are different this time. I reach the end of the stairs and the door was still closed. Rika's maybe not here yet, so I opened the door and step out.

"Sike! Motherfucker!" – oh fuck not again

I felt something hard whack me on the back of my head and I drop like a rock onto the concrete ground. Gees, I won't die from this but this hurts nonetheless.

I see the blonde delinquent dickhead standing there with a baseball bat over his shoulders with a big grin on his face.

"How..? what..?"

"That was for Rika" – I knew what he was going to say next

"And this one's from m-" he lifted the bat to swing it down on me again

"Stop. That's enough" oh, now, this is Rika's voice

"Meh, you spoil the fun"

"Maybe there will be next time"

"I hope so. This is fun"

"Now get out"

"Yes, my lady", the dickhead theatrically bows his head and walked down the stairs.

"Get up"

"Hell, you asked him to do this to me again?"

"Yeah"

"What's the fucking point?! I now know you can kill me and bring me back. Were you trying to get him to kill me to prove that he can't kill me or what?"

"Nah, it was just for fun. Let's say it's a running joke"

"For fuck's sake, this joke ain't funny"

"Oh, and don't get it wrong. You CAN get killed, and you won't come back"

"Huh?"

"I can bring you back to life only if it was me that killed you"

"I don't know what to think or believe anymore"

Rika just smiled and walked towards the fence of the roof, the sun was setting down bleeding the beautiful red onto the sky.

I just followed her quietly and stood next to her, looking out to the sky as she was doing.

"It's beautiful here isn't it", Rika broke the silence

"Yes"

"We used to do this a lot"

"Huh?"

"You, me. Long long time ago"

"That doesn't make sense. Nothing you have been saying makes any sense"

"Consider yourself lucky. Nobody explained anything to me ever. I had to figure it all out myself. All alone. By trial and error, and with lots of bloody ends"

"Just what are you..?"

"That is the right question. It is up to you to figure out what you are. But you can ask me what I am"

"So..?"

"I'm the girl you killed a long time ago"

"What the fuck?"

She just gave me an angry glare, as if she was actually remembering an angry moment from long time ago.

"er.. you told me I can't kill you though?"

"Only since then"

"Ok, fill me in from the start"

"It goes back centuries. 622 years to be exact. You killed me on the first full moon of Autumn that year, on the night of mid-autumn's festival we have in this town every year"

"That still doesn't make any sense, but do go on"

"I don't know how, or why, but I came back to life"

This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

"And every year, I died again. On the same night of mid-autumn's festival, for the past 622 years"

"That is horrible"

"You bet. But I'm used to it now. Lots of things happened in different variations. I inevitably die on the same night, but I always come back. Somewhere along the line, you 'killed' me. The first time was puzzling, as I didn't die when it would have been humanly impossible for me to survive that – well, it is already impossible that I die every year and come back, but it was almost like I couldn't be killed by you"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because every year I die in different ways, so although I always come back, I know I can be killed. But until then, no matter what fucked up mistake you make in between that should have resulted in me dying, I didn't"

"Man you must think I'm horrible.. but er, I don't recall any of this, I only met you this spring – so is this some kind of a time loop?" – nothing was unbelievable anymore although it felt silly I was asking about something stupid like a time loop.

"In a very loose sense yes. I die, but the world continues. I 'hibernate' until the spring, when I come out again all fresh and clean, and resume my 'life'"

"Is this like a re-incarnation?"

"Not quite. I come back as same age. Always 15. I've never turned 16, although technically I've lived 622 years"

"Hang on – but if you 'die', and come back the next year, wouldn't that be like super weird to everyone? To put it most mildly that is"

"After I die, every time, people just forget about me, forget the fact that I ever existed. Life continues and no one has any memory of me, and I come back the next year, sometimes meet the same people, and they treat me like it's the first time they ever met me"

"So memory of you gets erased after you die, then you come back, it's like only you are stuck in your own time loop"

"Something like that"

"And.. how is all this related to me?"

She then flashed another blitz of anger in her eyes and swiftly kicked me on my balls

"YOU are the fucking idiot who caused all this"

"ouch… I don't know what happened but I'm sorry"

"sigh.. you will never know"

"so.. am I in the same time loop as you? I always come back to your life?"

"Not exactly. You came and went, in irregular intervals. Sometimes I met you again the next year, sometimes you wouldn't turn up for like decades"

"Did you miss me then?"

Another kick in my balls.

"Ouch, I need them you know?!"

"Fuck you. You will never need them. I know that for a fact – never!"

Awkward silence.

"so.. what do I do? How do I come back into your life? Am I also re-incarnating every now and then?"

"You are easy to identify. You will always have that hateful name Tobi. No matter what decade or century it is"

"Huh?"

"that was.. a nick name we used between us", did Rika just blush a little?

"Anyways. That's irrelevant. But of course, it can happen that there can be other boys with the same name. It's not common but it does happen"

"How do you know then, that I am.. .this same 'Tobi'?"

"Because you invariably end up accidentally killing me, or shall I say, almost killing me. So when that happens and I don't die, I know it's you"

"I don't know if that's good or bad"

"Me neither"

Silence.

"So.. what now?"

"I don't know. This is the first time things have taken a different turn. You ended up killing someone, someone totally unrelated to our doomed fate"

"yes I did.. how did you know?"

"I just know. I don't want to. But I just do"

"It was an accident.."

"I know. But it's fine by me"

"Really?"

"Yes. Because that put a lot of things into perspective, the fact that you can permanently kill someone, but just not me"

"What does that mean?"

"Like I said. Nobody ever told or explained me anything. There isn't some human like god or angel or even a devil that comes to you and speaks to you after you die. There is no fucking afterlife. But I come back, so I have time to contemplate. To go over the details. To deduce the pattern, to identify what's happening and why"

"That sounds depressing"

"Irrelevant now. What became clear now is that you are an abnormally"

"That's hell of a weird thing to say for a girl that's been dying and coming back to life for past 622 years" – I instinctively cover my balls this time, but Rika didn't make a move

"I think I know what you are now, but as I said, that's for you to figure out. I know why I keep coming back, and why you could never kill me again after the first time"

"And that would be..?"

"You have wronged me. Grievously. I consider this as some grotesque form of justice, some kinda fucked up cosmic 'reward' let's say, that you shall never hurt me and take my life away from me again. And this is now proved by the fact that you are capable of, and did kill other lives, and they are never coming back again" – I felt pang of guilt thinking about the bitch and the man in the toilet (that was kinda horrible way to describe people that I killed accidentally), but everything was so surreal and I was captivated by Rika's story.

"I'm glad justice is being served. But why do you still die every year?"

"I think it's because to some extent, you can't change the destiny. Although you killed me the first time by accident, it was still my fate that I shall not live past the night. Yet it's like I am being cruelly rewarded to live my life again repeatedly. So I can relive this world and 'enjoy' the life that had been cut short for me, but I get put back into my place when the fateful night comes"

This was all too much to take in, let alone comprehend

"So what now?"

"I have some new theories, which I want to prove if they are true"

"How?"

"Go kill another girl"

#27

Zap.

"ARgggggh!", I screamed in pain as an electric shocker was thrust into my left side just below the rip cage and the lightening shock surged into my body – enough to hurt like hell, but not enough to make me pass out.

"So tell me. Why did you kill her?", the now familiar voice of a man asked me as I still lay in the darkness.

"You are fucked up. I was already caught by police. They were bringing me to the station. I was going to be tried and probably get executed. I don't know what fucking grudge you hold but there is no point you doing this to me now" – actually, what fucking happened? I remember sitting inside the police transport, and that's where my memory cut off and skipped to the point where I woke up in this dreadful dark place.

Zap. Zap. Fack.

"I don't actually give a fuck what other girls you killed. It's despicable but that is to be handled by the law. I'm normally a man of laws, but this one you are right, I hold fucking grudge, like you would never know"

"oh I see.. you her father or something?"

"FUCK YOU!"

I get zapped repeatedly and I'm almost on the verge of blacking out, but he stopped after maybe just one last time before I would have lost consciousness.

"You killed my daughter. My one and only daughter"

"I guess I have to say I'm sorry. Actually, I really am sorry.." I was sincere this time.

"That won't bring her back. It never will. Nothing you can do or no amount of apologies you make will ever bring her back."

"What is the point of all this then?"

"I hate you, but I don't give a fuck about you. You are just a lump of meat, an insect to be squashed – but I want that bitch"

"that bitch?"

"Rika"

Why does he want Rika – does he know anything about how shits are related?

"Tell me, why do you want Rika?"

"Because she's the one who led you to kill my daughter, and I believe I can find a way to bring her back if I can catch her"

"You are bat shit crazy", okay, this guy really was bat shit crazy, but I knew he was onto something

"You say that now. But she will come. She will come to find you again. And I will catch her, and bring everything back to normal"

"Your daughter can never come back to life, and Rika will never come here, she won't even know where I am, fuck I don't even know where I am now"

"You think I'm doing this shit without a plan? She will find out, and she can't help but come here trying to get you out, it's just matter of time"

"Whatever the fuck you say – and when would that be?"

"Next spring"

#28

I'm waiting in the park at night. It's the night of crescent moon, as dark as the night gets. I see the girl walking across the grass field, make her way to the bushes on the other end. She's holding a little paper packet in her hand

"Come out kitties"

She beckons into the darkness as she whispers.

One fat cat comes out, looks around, and three more kittens come out as well a moment later.

"How are you feeling today? Your babies are looking healthy"

The cat meows, and smells the food the girl has taken out from the bag and laid out on the grass. She takes one bite, and soon the kittens lunge forward to feast themselves on the food.

"Good girl. You need to eat well to be healthy again. I'm sorry I can't take you home. This is the best I can do", the girl says somewhat sorrowfully.

I feel bad. I found this girl maybe two weeks ago by chance. She was a nice girl, feeding the homeless cat and her kittens at night, every day, and it's the sad truth that her genuine niceness is the reason why she will get killed here, tonight, because I knew for a fact she will be here again tonight, alone, with nobody around nearby at all, she was just the perfect target to kill – for Rika.

I slowly started to creep up behind her, closing the distance quietly, trying to not make any sound. But the animals have much more keen senses than us humans. The cat is suddenly startled

"What's wrong kitty?", she obviously didn't hear me herself

Meow. The cat looks like she senses a danger – would this be a trouble for me? Nevertheless, I can't let this chance pass. Soon the kittens will grow up and they may move on, I have to take this opportunity while she's here, so I take a few more steps to be closer.

The cat arcs her back up – I heard this is what cats do when they feel threatened and want to make themselves look bigger, but hey, I'm not here to do you any harm, and frankly, you should not risk the lives of your offsprings to protect a random girl, no matter how kind she has been to you.

As if the cat received my inner thoughts as telepathic message, she scuttles away in hurry, grabbing one of the kittens by scuffle of her neck. Other kittens are startled and they follow their mom into the bushes.

"Hey! What's wrong?", the girl asks in the direction where the cats have run off to, and by this time I'm standing right behind her.

I hesitate for a minute, not because I was uncertain about killing her all of sudden, but because I couldn't decide whether I should say I'm sorry before I stab her or after.

As I was thinking this, she must have felt a presence right behind her slouched back, and as soon as she saw me holding the knife she let out a squeal.

Fuck I wasn't quick enough. I should have slit her throat before she could scream, like I did with the other guy. But luckily, I was quick enough to instinctively punch her hard in her stomach, she gasped and fell to the ground panting, unable to scream as she was catching breath.

This is it. This time it is no accident, and I don't feel particularly good about killing a nice girl that is kind to homeless animals, but it had to be done. I quickly kneeled down on her, my right knee pressed hard against her chest and the left palm covering her mouth. The faint light from crescent moon reflected on her glasses, and our eyes met briefly. Why. Why always these eyes. I thought to myself as I plunged the knife into her throat.

#29

"'A girl is brutally murdered in a park while feeding cats'. Come on, isn't this a bit harsh?", Rika asked me, looking up from her phone as she was reading the news.

"Fuck me. I don't feel good about it either. But it was the best chance to do it and she was just unlucky to be such an easy target"

"Your self-justification disgusts me"

"You wanted me to do this. I did it only for you"

"Well, thanks I guess"

"So now what? What does this prove? I hope this helped you because I feel fucking horrible about this one, unlike the 'bitch' I killed before. So this better has been worth it"

"Unfortunately, nothing conclusive. I have a hunch I am correct, but this is not enough sample size to conclusively prove"

"FUCK. I had to.."

"Shhh, there are people around here"

I calm myself as I was reminded that we are sitting in a café, a public place

"It did help me somewhat. So thank you for that. But it's just not enough. I'm sorry"

"Oh man. What more do you want from me?"

"You need to kill another one"

"Jesus.."

"But let's make some rules, because we might have to do this a few more times"

"I really don't want to do it again"

"Please. You owe me this much at least. It should be fine if we set some rules and principles"

"What would that be?"

"You target the bitches that actually deserve to be killed" – I almost said 'such as yourself' but held back. It was crazy how much love and hate I felt for this girl at the same time.

"Here. I printed this out. This shall be your next target"

Rika then laid down a small photo card on the table and pushed it towards me. I look down to check the photograph.

"Right. This I can somewhat agree. But you are truly evil"

Rika just grinned back – an evil grin.

#30

"Tobi Krux, you are under arrest for murder of.. thirteen girls and a man you fucking asshole!"

A police baton came crashing down on my head. There was genuine anger on the hand that gripped this blunt object of violence.

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Tobi.. why… is this real.. why did you…", my mom came into the room, half out of herself with disbelief, and not coming any closer to me than a few steps away – maybe even my own mom is disgusted with me now.

"You guys got nothing on me"

"You are busted. Give it up. We will bring you to justice, and you will be executed like you deserve"

"Like I give a fuck"

"Where is Rika?!"

"Who?"

Another brute hit of a baton landed on the back of my head

"Oh fuck come on. I'm sure you guys are not allowed to do this"

"Just answer the fucking question. Where is Rika?"

"I have no fucking clue. And she has nothing to do with anything"

Then the police officer that was pressing me down against the floor turned me over and looked me in the eyes, then spitting on my face.

"We know she's your partner in crime. We will catch her, just like we got you now"

I found this unwavering determination and self-belief hilarious, so I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it

"What the fuck are you laughing about!"

The cop gave a choking grip on my throat and yelled at my face.

"You guys have no fucking clue. You will never find her again – never"

"We will find her – whether you fuckhead cooperate or not"

"You can't. I bet you my life that you can't. At least until the next spring"

Maybe I said more than I should have, but it was hilarious and it wasn't like there was anything they could have done. The cops brute forced me up with handcuffs on my wrists and my ankles chained, dragging me down the corridors and down the stairs banging me around good deal along the way – for fuck's sake guys, I live on the thirteenth floor.

#31

Tobi..? I noticed a name near the bottom of student list, ranked according to the mid-term exam result. That name sent a pang through my heart. It hurt. This is not the first time, but it's been very long time since I saw this name last. Maybe more than thirty years ago. I had to check for myself if this was who I thought it may be.

After some digging around, it turned out this 'Tobi' was just in the next class. I wanted to see him, to see how he looks this time, not that I missed him in any sense, but he is an undeniable part of the puzzle nevertheless, and I can't say I never enjoyed any single moment that we shared – it's been too long for me to keep denying anything remotely good that happened between us. By this time I acknowledged that some things were worth reminiscing back at, as there were so few moments like that in my life.

I got chatty with the class gossip girl to ask a few questions about this Tobi boy in the next class. She was a bit surprised I asked about him, but it was so obviously and completely out of question that I would have any romantic interest in that boy, so she thought I was just after some creepy rumors. I didn't know whether to be glad or feel bad that this Tobi has such a bad reputation. I was told that he was a quiet and awkward boy in the class, always looking kinda creepy, but very good at art – the only problem was that everything he drew looked creepy too, although it was never discernable what he was drawing. Let's say it was some sort of abstract creepiness art.

There was one simple way to test if this Tobi was any good (or bad, should I say), so I sneaked into school one night and left a note inside his desk drawer, asking him to come meet me on the rooftop the next day after school. I've used this trick once before, and it worked back then to identify him as the real thing.

The next day, I was waiting on the rooftop, admiring the view of red sky as the sun was going down. As expected, he came through the door and spotted me standing by the fence at the edge of the rooftop.

"you… you are the one that asked me to come here?", he asked shily. His personality varied from time to time, but there was always something invariable – like his little shyness and being clumsy like a puppy, and this was exactly what I was going to use.

"Yes. Come closer"

He looked a bit taken back.

"er, why?"

"You know.. I wanted to talk to you"

"Why me?"

"Come closer, I will tell you"

He hesitantly walked a few steps towards me, and stopped

"Why did you stop?"

"I don't know.. what do you need from me?"

"You know.. I have been watching you for a while.." – time to play girly.

"er.. eh?"

"It's embarrassing to say it out loud, please come closer.."

As stupid as he was, I think even he got the hint by now and walked a few steps closer to me, and stopped just about a meter away from me.

"Is this.. close enough..?"

"For now.. you know.. do you have a girlfriend?"

He was startled a bit, instantly followed by a blushing face. How cute.

"No.. No. I don't"

"What do you think about me?"

"I.. I don't know you.."

"Look up and look at me"

He looked up at my face and our eyes met for a split second, and he was very quick to turn his gaze away

"I think.. I think you are very pretty"

"Come closer"

He was already just about a meter away from me, getting any closer would be, well, quite intimate, so he understandably hesitated, or more like, froze on the spot.

I was losing patience a bit, so I extended my hand and pulled him closer to me by his sleeve, and he dully obliged. I pulled him so close that his face was maybe only twenty centimeters away from mine, and I could feel the heat from his blushing.

"Look at me"

"this is.. embarrassing"

"I like you" – It felt like I could hear his heart start beating faster

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"no.. no.."

I closed my eyes, still holding his sleeves and keeping him close to me.

"Kiss me"

"I don't know how.."

"Just close your eyes if you are too embarrassed, and kiss me on my nose"

"That.. I think I can do.. if it's not on the lips I guess"

I slightly opened my eyes and saw him squeezing his eyes so tightly shut. It was stupid but also kinda cute this way. He inched his face close to mine slowly, and just as his lips were just a few centimeters from my nose, I let go of his sleeve and grabbed his hand with mine. They felt warm.

"Bwwaaaah!" he screamed in shock, startled – it was probably the first time he's ever had his hand held by a girl – and with a sudden jerk of his head he accidentally headbutt me on the nose – ouch.

Then I lost my balance and fell back towards the fence, which, erm, I knew had some screws loose, which meant that the fence gave away as I fell on it and I descended into a free fall towards the ground

"Nooooooo!" I closed my eyes as the sound of his scream grew more distant, and I landed crashing my head onto the pebbly ground, probably cracking my head open. Ouch. This hurts.

I then felt someone shaking me desperately by my shoulders, and my consciousness was coming back.

"Please, oh god no, are you okay?"

Ah – this was Tobi. My Tobi. My one and only Tobi that I love and hate.

I opened my eyes and saw him crying.

"It's okay Tobi. It's okay"

I embraced his head with my arms and gave a little kiss on the top of his head. This Tobi is probably the sweetest of them all.

#32

I was hiding behind a tree just next to the house gate of my next target girl. Rika indeed was pretty bad. The girl she picked was none less than her friend that I saw many times before, the one who always stood next to her and called me a jerk – the one that first pushed me onto the ground after I kicked a ball onto Rika's face, making me pass out. I don't know what grudge Rika held against her despite hanging out with her all the time, but I didn't like her either, and if Rika says she's a bitch deserving to be killed, then I believe her.

I was holding an aluminum baseball bat on my one hand while peeking out from behind the tree. I've already used the same knife to kill three people, and maybe I could throw the cops off a bit by doing thigs a bit differently this time. It was a dark cloudy night, luckily for me, but not for her. Today was the day of the week where this bitch normally studied until late in the cram school, and with Rika's tip I knew exactly when she would return home.

I saw a silhouette of a girl walking towards the house of the girl – this must be her. As she was getting closer I could hear her talking on the phone, I recognized her voice since I'm pretty good with these things.

".. and so I was like, so creeped out you know? That guy's disgusting.."

She's bitching about someone over the phone – this girl seems to be bitching about one man or other all the time. Gees, get laid or get fucked, in different ways.

"anyways, I'm almost at home now – I call you later after shower"

Can't she just shut up and go to sleep? Why does she need to be constantly talking? She's probably gonna start bitching about something, or someone else later on the phone, but well, there won't be later for her.

As she was taking the house key out of her pocket I jumped out from behind the tree and viciously struck her head with the baseball bat.

"Sike! Motherfucker!" – heh, I always wanted to say this again.

She fell instantly to the ground, but the bitch was strong willed, which I did not expect. She grabbed my trousers around the ankle area and started to pull her body up. Shit, I was supposed to end this quick and make a run, I can't do that if she dies and I have to pry her dead fingers off my trousers. So I started to mindlessly beat down on her with the bat, again and again. She was screaming like a pig getting slaughtered, and that sent me more into panic, and frantically speeded up beating her head with the bat. If Rika saw this she probably thinks it's funny, as the way I was beating her was like those double speed old black and white films, except that it was anything but silent. Then I heard someone running towards the gate of the house in desperation, with a cracking female voice screaming "Is it you Tika?! Are you okay?!" – this must be her mom, and I didn't want to hang around any longer. She was now laying flat on the ground facing up, blood flowing out from her obviously cracked skull.

"you…" I think she recognized me for that moment, too bad bitch that the last face you see in your sorry life is mine – then I whacked her nose down with the top of the bat in a planting motion. The gate was rattling now and I was running down the street, and just as I was turning the corner I heard a soul crushing scream of a mother.

Next day in the classroom, everyone was in viral shock and irresistible gossip about the news of yet another girl who was murdered last night. I overheard conversations of some boys theorizing whether this was the same serial killer from before or not, with one boy saying that it can't be as serial killers tend to be obsessed with using the same method, while another boy chimed in to say maybe he did this to throw cops off the trail a bit.

Then the teacher walked in to begin the home room

"Everyone – be quiet and return to your seat. Now"

We all scuttled back into our seat and the class rep stood up to do the routine greeting, but the teacher waved her to sit down.

"We will skip that for today"

The class rep looked a little confused, then sat back down.

"I'm sure you've all heard about another horrible incident last night, again, involving a student from our school"

Everyone was silent.

"The police officers have come to our school today, and as of this moment, they are standing guard by all the gates around the school"

Oh? They think everyone needs protection now?

"Listen very carefully. We have been told by the police officers that there is very high chance that this dangerous criminal is in our school"

What-? Some students were visibly unsettled and whispers and murmurs filled up the room

"Quiet!" The teacher raised his voice as he slammed the attendance record book on the podium in front of the classroom.

"They have good enough lead to be sure about this, and believe in the good nature of normal students – this disgusting criminal is an exception like I have never seen among young people in my twenty years as a teacher"

All the students were listening attentively.

"Now. Class rep, come out to the front"

The class rep hurriedly jogged to the front and stood next to the teacher.

"You will take this stack of paper and give one to every student"

She hastily obliged. What's all this about?

"Now listen very carefully. This criminal, no matter how long you've known him, or how close you are to him, he is not someone you should hide, keep secrets for, or protect"

He said…. Him? Well I guess it's usual to suspect that it would be a man behind such brutal murders. I shan't think anything much of this

"That's right. We know that it is a he – this criminal is a boy in our school. Confirmed. I think there is a good chance that some of you may recognize this guy by the specific expression he used. We know it is a common slang, but he said it to a girl, which is quite odd, so we suspect this is a habitual expression this culprit uses"

Uh oh

"Now, I want you to write down name of any boy, that you have ever heard saying, 'Sike, motherfucker'".

Shit.

#33

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" – Rika exploded on me, in whisper.

"Sorry, I have no idea how this happened"

"Somebody must have fucking heard you!"

"But I'm certain there was nobody around.."

"Actually, I know"

"…what?"

"It's Mila. She was on the phone with Tika. Mila's the one who told the cops. She was on the phone with Tika and says she heard some male voice scream Sike Motherfucker, which I, and only I for now, know for a fact that was you"

"Shit"

Rika was eye balling me hard.

"Shit.. how did they know it's someone from school?"

"Did you get seen?"

"I don't think so. Her mother came rushing out but by then I already turned the corner and was out of the street"

Rika seemed unsatisfied with the answer and looked at me up and down, and then she frowned.

"Your trousers, your trousers, you silly boy"

"huh?"

"Look down on your left ankle"

"I looked down and noticed that it was slightly torn"

"Did she grab you?"

Oh fack.

"Yes"

"Great. Now they have physical evidence. Take off your trousers"

"Now..? here..?"

"No dumbass, follow me"

Rika then led me around to the usually not visited area at the end of the hall way on the ground floor, where I noticed for the first time there was a steel door with a number pad lock on it. She looked around quickly and pressed a few buttons and took the lock out, and hurriedly rushed me into the room. It was very dark inside as she closed the door.

"What is this place?"

Rika took out her phone and turned on the flash.

"It's an old storage room that's no longer used. Some bad shit happened here before long time ago and the school doesn't use it anymore"

"How do you know? And how did you know the pin for the lock?"

"Because I put that lock on. It was long time ago. Too long time ago for any of the current staff to know why we have this room closed out. It's just accepted over the years that this area is off limits"

"You sure know some weird shits"

"sigh.. when you've been around as long as I have, you just know shits. Beside, I have been coming to this school for past 117 years"

"Jesus.. you are the first graduate from our school?"

"I never graduated. You should know that. And of course I was. I've been in this town for centuries before such education system even existed for the common people. Now, just shut up and take off your trousers"

"Er… is this the right place and time..?"

"What the hell are you thinking you pig?!" Rika gave a slap upside my head, so I duly obliged and took off my trousers. She took out a sewing kit from her skirt pocket and quickly went on to cut the end bit of the trousers as little as possible, folded it in and started sewing it back.

"Wow. You sure are skilled at this"

"Because I have been going to home economics class for 117 years now dumb ass"

"Right, I will shut up"

"Ok, there, done. Put this back on. Nobody would notice anything, but if they really got onto you and examine it properly, they will be able to tell it was altered. So wear your spare school trousers from tomorrow on, and trash this one safely"

"Gotcha"

"And don't say anything stupid like Sike Motherfucker ever again"

"Sorry"

A moment of silence

"Do you think… that could lead the cops to getting on my tail?"

"No. They will get on to a wrong guy"

"Huh?"

"The blonde dickhead. I wrote his name down"

Oh.

The same afternoon. The cops dragged the blond dickhead out of the school building and threw him inside the transport truck. They probably should have been more discreet about it, as, well, innocent until proven guilty – that sort of stuff, but maybe they had no choice as the dude went on an absolute mental state screaming he was innocent again and again like a lunatic, which did make him look more suspicious and made it impossible for all the students to not notice who the police got on to.

After that eventful day, I kept low profile as Rika instructed, and there were no further instructions to kill anybody. Rika told me it was too risky to do anything further, and that she was quite certain about her theory that further killings may not be necessary now – but she wouldn't tell me what her theory was in the first place.

In any case, the killings stopped, naturally, which probably piled more unwarranted suspicion on the poor sod. Sorry, I vomit on your head before, and now I shit down on your life.

#34

This Tobi was a bit different. He was so obviously in love with me, and he was ready to admit it and express it, which I did not explicitly accept, but he was happy enough to accept my smile as a good enough answer and our time spending together every day in our school lives as a sign that we were hooked – or more like, he didn't seem to care whether we were officially a couple or not, he just stood by me like a loyal shepherd, never pressing for more, but never leaving me behind either.

That's why I had built up a new hope for that year. I thought maybe, just maybe, in once in a six centuries chance, that this final 'happy ending' of our relationship would end the bad cycle of doom and grudge.

The summer passed filled with a lot of joy, with us spending most of time together out in the sun and under the stars around the outskirts of the town. I still never managed to leave this town, but those days I felt like I never needed to if I could spend my days with him like that.

As the autumn festival was drawing closer, I was growing nervous and excited at the same time. Would I survive past this full moon? Or would things go horribly wrong again and I have to repeat yet another year, with everyone having forgotten me and me needing to establish myself in school again as a transfer student, and the worst of all, probably with no Tobi around.

That was the problem. Every year when I came back in spring, my previous classmates have moved up a year, and lived on as if nothing happened. I even once gave a farewell graduation speech to my old classmates who no longer remembered who I was. But on the occasion where the real Tobi was in my school, I came back in spring, he was gone. He was not like me at all, because he was completely gone, physically, and was not remembered by anyone either. I never came up with a good theory for why that happened, but that's how things worked.

On the evening of the day autumn festival starts, I was all dressed up in a new dress, nervously pacing around the fountain near the main festival street waiting for Tobi to turn up. He was late, which I did not like, because he was always on time – actually earlier than the promised time whenever we met up. Is something wrong? What is happening? Why tonight of all possible nights? This could be my last night, this could be the last time I see this Tobi, and this could, perhaps, be the night where everything could break away from the chain that slaved me to this way of 'life' for so long.

About an hour later than the agreed time, I saw a silhouette of a couple walking towards the fountain where I was. The man walked like how Tobi walks, clumsily swaying his body from side to side – but who the fuck was the girl? My heart stopped cold when they got closer and I realized that she was holding onto Tobi's arm, her body closely pressed against his, Who is this bitch.

"Hey Rika, sorry I'm late", Tobi stopped in front of me, with the girl still clinging on to his arm.

"What is this?" my voice was trembling and the girl seemed a little taken back by hostility in my voice that only another woman could sense.

This, surely, must be some sort of misunderstanding. It's so sudden and random – but why tonight out of the possible timing.

"You know, I probably should have told you earlier, so I'm sorry, but…"

What the fuck?! I reflexively slapped Tobi on the cheek with a vicious swing of my hand.

"Oh my god! What are you doing?!", the girl squealed.

"Shut up you bitch!", I snarled back at her as I was reaching for the small but very sharp dagger I always kept with me tied around my thigh below my skirt – this is just something I got into over the centuries.

She looked completely in horror when I flashed out the knife, and Tobi jumped onto me shouting "Please stop!"

I was getting flash backs – all the expectations and worries had been draining me for the past two weeks, and to see Tobi, MY Tobi turn up with a girl on our special night drove me completely over the edge. I remembered back at the night when Tobi killed me, the anger, the rage, the disbelief, the pain, what he must have felt – I hated him for not trusting me and making such judgement, after all the time we've spent he did not trust me when it mattered, but although it will never be forgiven in eternity, for a very brief moment I felt like I could understand how Tobi must have felt that night, albeit mistakenly.

I brushed off Tobi's launch on to my body and he fell heavy on to the stone laid out ground, and I turned the dagger around and smacked down on the bitch's head with the bottom end of the grip. She let out a little yelp and flopped onto the ground.

"Rika, please – stop it, she is my precious.."

Those words that were coming out of his mouth tipped me over completely even before he could finish the sentence. I've heard enough. I will kill this bitch first, then I will kill Tobi. This Tobi is no good after all, and it will be the first Tobi that I will kill, and I hope he never comes back.

I flipped the dagger around again and gripped the handle hard with both of my hands, and drove it straight down to this bitch's heart. It felt almost like a firework of blood – oh how I would have loved to see the firework with Tobi on that night instead of what actually happened.

"Noooooooooo!" Tobi screamed and ran over to the girl. She's dead you little piece of shit. And you will be the next.

"Gina, Gina… wake up! Gina, oh god, no, please..". Tobi was hunched over to the girl and embraced her with one arm, while trying to stop the blood gushing out from the gaping hole in her chest.

So you are not even looking at me now. As if I don't exist. So this is how it was. I might have forgiven you if you came out clean with this earlier, but to do this tonight was unforgivable. I gripped my dagger tighter as I looked down on Tobi.

"Rika.. why.. why did you.. I don't understand.."

I didn't want to hear anymore. I slashed across the back of his neck as hard as I could, my blade making destructive sweep between his two vertebrates, cutting off all the spinal cord. Surprisingly, the blood did not shoot out like it did from the girl, but rather, it seem to just kinda drip out thickly.

Tobi fell to the ground, his whole body writhing uncontrollably. It's probably some fucked up reflex of his disgusting body. You, are just a fucking lump of meat after all.

Tobi was spread on the ground on his back, his face looking up to mine with already half-vaccant eyes, he looked like he was trying to say something, I was surprised he could move his mouth at all. I kneeled down to listen to what this fucker had to say for the last time.

"Rika.. why… Gina… my only living cousin…"

Oh fuck.

"Tobi! Tobi!"

What the fuck did I do? Then it dawned on me – he probably just wanted to introduce his cousin to me, who may have come to see him from out of town, maybe to check out the festival together with us. Maybe he was late because he had to wait for this girl to get ready, maybe he meant to tell me he should have told me earlier that his cousin was coming to town… oh no.. what did I do…

I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck trying to stop the bleeding, but I knew it was futile. I felt it before. I cut off his spinal cord. Bleeding was not an issue. There's no way he can be saved.

My tears were dropping on his face. I was rubbing my tear soaked cheek against his that was still warm. Oh Tobi, no… I made a mistake. I made a grievous mistake. Come back, please… come back..

"Come back!!!!!!!" I wailed into his face in despair, and against all logic and the laws of nature, his eyes flashed open and his eyes focused on mine.

"how..Tobi.. are you okay?"

"huh..? what happened.. are YOU okay? Why are you crying?"

"Oh god.. thanks god you came back.. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.."

"You smell salty – must be your tears"

Then suddenly there was a loud bang sound and a pebble next to where I was kneeling over Tobi jumped up.

"Drop your weapon and stand up slowly! Now!"

Shit.

I looked back and there were bunch of police officers. To them, I must have looked like a murderess. Well, I was. I have no idea how Tobi came back, but I did kill this one girl, and she was never gonna come back. I stood up slowly, but keeping my eyes on Tobi, not facing the officers.

"Rika.. what's going on..?" Tobi started to sit up slowly, holding the back of his neck as if it hurt, but there was no more blood, in fact, there was no sign at all that it was cut open just a minute ago.

I'm glad you are okay Tobi. But I did something terrible. I killed a girl in the heat of inexplicably foolish misunderstanding – maybe I'm worse than you were back then. At least something actually happened, and you killed the bastard and me. It was not fair, but I could understand how you could misunderstand. But I killed a girl who was never in the mix. This was never supposed to happen in my cycles.

"Drop your weapon! Now"

I cant.. I can't be caught and put into jail. Just like every year, things will reset again when the spring comes – I have to force the reset.

"Good bye Tobi. Thanks for the memories.. and I will find you again"

I then swung around and dashed towards the town constable that was holding the gun up towards me, he was the closest one to where I was – come on. Do it.

I lunged myself towards his direction with my dagger pointed at him, I saw a flash of fear in his eyes, heard the loud sound of bang, followed by Tobi screaming my name, and I blacked out.