Royal Gold Medal County Magistrate

Lai Gou'er hunched over and sat down next to Fang Zheng, letting out a long breath.

He sighed, "Hey, Brother, I think I should just go back to being a beggar. Working at the Chu family isn't happy at all."

Fang Zheng slowly got up and glanced at him sideways, "What's not happy? You think begging is happy?"

"Getting a fixed salary every month makes me feel like I'm not living for myself, not free."

"Heh, you have quite the novel ideas! It's not easy to have a proper job, so work hard. It's a rare chance to turn over a new leaf. Or, if you want, I can help you pull that Dong Fu down and put you in his place?" Fang Zheng said casually.

"Brother, why do I feel like you sound like that rebellious eunuch from the storytellers on the street?" Lai Gou'er scratched his face and chuckled foolishly.

"If you can't talk properly, then shut your mouth!"

"Hehe, Brother, what are we going to eat tonight? Doesn't the Chu family forbid us from going out?" Lai Gou'er asked.

"We're going to the kitchen, I'll take you to eat something good! I saw the purchasing agent bought a lot of meat today, there will definitely be some good stuff left over!" Fang Zheng licked his lips.

In order to maintain relationships with the other guards, the leftovers from Yuhua Restaurant were all sent out.

He hadn't had any greasy food in the past few days, and his mouth tasted bland.

He wanted to take this opportunity to improve his diet!

"Stealing food?" Lai Gou'er began to feel uneasy.

His big brother was good in every way, but he wasn't like a proper beggar, always doing things that violated the law...

Fang Zheng looked displeased, "What stealing food? Can a scholar's actions be considered stealing?" Then came a series of incomprehensible words, such as "A gentleman is steadfast in poverty," and "...therefore?" which made Lai Gou'er feel even more helpless: "Brother, how could someone who reads and writes end up begging? I don't understand."

"Everyone has side hustles! There's no such thing as an iron rice bowl in this world. I've been there, done that. What haven't I done to survive?"

Suddenly, Fang Zheng teased, "Hey? Why didn't I see you go to the South Courtyard today?"

The South Courtyard was where the Second Miss Chu Youyi lived. Ever since entering the Chu family, this kid Lai Gou'er had been secretly running over there whenever he had the chance.

Fang Zheng had interrogated him several times before he found out that he had actually taken a liking to Chu Youyi's personal maid, Xinzhu.

Spring hadn't even arrived yet, and he was already getting restless.

Lai Gou'er's face flushed, "I'll go later... It's not good to go too often. I don't dare to talk to her, so I just take a few glances."

"You haven't even spoken to her?" Fang Zheng asked in surprise.

Lai Gou'er stammered, "I... I have, I said it twice. I praised her for being pretty... She ignored me."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk!" Fang Zheng curled his lips and shook his head, "Aren't you just a simp? I despise simps without skills the most!"

"What's a simp?"

"Watch." Fang Zheng made a fist as if he was grabbing something and called out to the big yellow dog guarding the courtyard not far away: "Chirp, chirp, chirp! Big Yellow, come here!"

Upon seeing this, Big Yellow wagged its tail excitedly and ran over, approaching Fang Zheng.

Just as it was about to reach out its mouth, Fang Zheng retracted his hand. Big Yellow sniffed the air, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

Fang Zheng extended his hand again, and Big Yellow wagged its tail and came closer again.

Once again, he retracted his hand. Big Yellow stood there, stunned for a moment, then started barking loudly at Fang Zheng: "Woof! Woof! Woof!"

"See? That's a simp. You're just like this dog, not using your brain and ending up getting nothing."

Lai Gou'er stared at Big Yellow in a daze. Fang Zheng continued, "That's not even the most pathetic thing. The pathetic thing is that pure simps are shameless and never learn from their mistakes!"

With that, he extended his hand again, and Big Yellow wagged its tail and approached his fist again.

Fang Zheng swiftly slapped the dog's face!

"Awoo~~ Awoo woo~~ Awoo~" Big Yellow tucked its tail between its legs and ran away, wailing.

"See? That's the fate of a pure simp. They don't learn their lesson and keep simping! The only result is getting hurt." Fang Zheng pointed at Big Yellow.

"Woof!! Woof woof woof!!" Big Yellow stood in the distance, barking incessantly.

A mutual slaughter, Big Yellow felt particularly uncomfortable!

"Uh... forget it, Brother. I'm not worthy of her anyway. I'll just look from afar." Lai Gou'er said self-deprecatingly, "Without you, I'd still be begging on the streets, no different from a stray dog."

"Gou'er, with that kind of mentality, you'll never eat more than four dishes in your life! Just because you call me Brother, and I call you Brother, every woman in the Chu family is lucky to be with you! What are you being such a wimp for?" Fang Zheng sighed.

Lai Gou'er chuckled foolishly, "Brother, you know what? I especially love listening to you talk. Every time you brag, you can make it sound like it's true."

Fang Zheng: "..."

"Okay, I'll listen to you! I won't be a pure simp anymore. What should I do?" Lai Gou'er asked.

Fang Zheng nodded in satisfaction, "That's right! With me here to teach you, are you still afraid of not getting a girl?"

"That girl Xinzhu is indeed quite pretty, but have you ever thought about how many people there are in the South Courtyard? There are at least as many as here, right? Even if there are only ten or so of them! They probably all have a crush on Xinzhu, and there must be many people praising her, so your praise won't be effective!"

"At this time, you have to go against the grain and leave a deep impression on her first! Then slowly simp for her!"

"There are techniques to simping too. Simping can't just stay on your lips, you have to provide her with convenience. Send her food when she's hungry, and give her water when she's thirsty!"

"Constant daily sweet talk, you have to be shameless."

"In short, give her the feeling that with you, life is much more convenient. It's best to turn her into a cripple!"

Fang Zheng said, shaking his head. Lai Gou'er hesitated, "Why do I feel like I'm becoming a pure simp again?"

"What are you saying! What are you saying!" Fang Zheng scolded, "I haven't finished yet. Once she gets used to having you in her life, you absolutely can't continue simping!"

"Then what should I do?" Lai Gou'er's eyes lit up.

"Go simp for her friends, make her jealous, make her unhappy! The so-called favored ones are always fearless, and they only regret it when they lose it."

"She thinks you're her exclusive benefit, but who would have thought that others also have it. At this time, she will feel psychologically unbalanced, and maybe she will give you some sweet treats in return. Don't rush to accept the sweet treats, and decide according to the situation. I'll create a 'wounded lover' persona for you, making her ashamed and regretful! What you simp out, you'll make her lick back sooner or later!"

"Amazing! Big Brother! Is that how you tricked your sisters-in-law into your hands?" Lai Gou'er said excitedly.

"Tch, I only teach you this way because you're a newbie. I don't play tricks, I only talk about true love." Fang Zheng sighed.

"Okay! I understand, then I'll go now!" With that, Lai Gou'er hurriedly wanted to leave, but Fang Zheng stopped him.

"What's the rush? Clean yourself up first, at least make yourself cleaner before you go! Look at your yellow teeth, even old women wouldn't want to kiss you!" Fang Zheng scolded.

"Oh! Then I'll go brush my teeth first." Lai Gou'er ran away, blushing.

......

Two hours later, the sun was setting.

Fang Zheng was still sighing about the beauty of life in the garden when a figure with a cane came into view.

The figure gradually approached... A person who looked like Lai Gou'er appeared in front of Fang Zheng.

His face was bruised and swollen, and he looked at Fang Zheng with tears in his eyes, aggrieved: "Brother, what you taught me was useless..."

"Who are you?" Fang Zheng asked, frowning.

"It's me, Brother, Lai Gou'er!" Big tears rolled out of his eyes.

"Damn it! Who beat you up like this? Did you get into a fight?" Fang Zheng was shocked and quickly got up to observe.

Lai Gou'er cried and sobbed, "After I brushed my teeth... I went to the South Courtyard... to find Xinzhu. Didn't you say to go against the grain and leave a deep impression...?"

"I said she was an ugly bitch, and she found someone to beat me up... Wuwuwu..."

"......."

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【S-Level Handsome Men and Beautiful Women Check-in Point】