Translator: humu

UWAHH! Thankfully, I was able to support him at the last minute, but my heart was pounding heavily from having escaped the danger. A thin light sigh passed through my lips.

“Don’t push yourself too hard, old man…… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Even the slightest amount of difficulty in lifting the foot was sufficient to make one fall.

If one was tired and aged, it’s best not to overdo it.

“I’m not gonna get hurt.”

I knew that if a child like me tried to worry for him, he would only become stubborn, yet I still couldn’t help but say something. It’s so frustrating.

“I know you’re athletic, Yamada-san, but because this place is slipperyー”

I leaned closer to Yamada-san, almost shouting at him to at least let me carry his belongings, and made my way to the changing room slower than before.

I seemed to faintly hear Toyoda-san and the others walking behind us, whispering softly to each other, “Grandson……”.

After we separated into the men’s and women’s baths, Yamada-san explained everything to me in the name of guidance.

There were other veteran table tennis players, but he was the most eager to teach and the kindest to me. Moreover, he was outstandingly good at the sport.

This was a special time to break a sweat, listen to areas for improvement during play and get good advice.

There weren’t many opportunities like this where I could receive one-on-one guidance from a senior in the club. Furthermore, the advisor was a specialist in the sport, so I was very thankful to be able to review my performance on the same day. It would be even better if I could immediately reflect the suggestions in my play, but I’m still miles away from that level.

Yamada-san, who knew of the psychological depression that came with constant criticism, did a good job of firing me up and making me feel as if I’m being genuinely praised.

As I slowly soaked in the bathtub and doused my burning body with the warm water, my body and mind felt completely relaxed.

“Yamada-san, I’m going up first.”

“Oh. You’re as fast as usual.”

I called out to Yamada-san, who kept repeating that the baths at home were even hotter, and left the bathroom first.

It was still a strange experience for me to put on my uniform in the changing room of a public bathhouse.

The time spent playing was shorter than the regular club activities, but I felt that the condensed duration used purely on concentrating to win was better suited for me.

If the place was crowded, we might have to take turns every other game, but since everyone was so willing to play with me, I didn’t have to wait long for a table to open up. Thank goodness for that.

“Or rather, I don’t like being obligated to do something.”

If I had been allowed to join the club on a provisional basis and then sent off with the message, “You can check out other clubs, but you have to come back here to join us,” I think I would have faced the activities of the table tennis club with a slightly different attitude.

The training was tough, but the atmosphere wasn’t bad. I certainly enjoyed being uplifted by the sense of unity that was distinctive of a strong school.

When Yamada-san and his friends talk nostalgically about the fun they had while they were still active, I envied them when I heard glimpses of their comrades from those days occasionally in their stories.

As soon as I left the hot and humid changing room, a pleasant breeze caressed my sweaty skin.

After dropping off my belongings at the lounge, which had tatami mats and sofas, I asked Gramps1 to treat me to a glass of milk. I drank it down in one gulp while it was still cold, and as I relaxed on the tatami mat to cool off, I felt so pleasant that I almost fell asleep. While I was dozing off, Toyoda-san and the rest of the “Baachan2 group” came up. The lounge was getting crowded.

Anmitsu3 seemed to be popular with the Baachan group today. “Come over for a minute.” Toyoda-san called me over as she had prepared my share of anmitsu.

The grandmothers were apparently talking about their school days, and as soon as I sat down and started to eat, they started conversing again. It’s just like a spy’s code, with fragmented words flying around, like how ‘S’ was and how ‘lily4 was. I listened to the story and barely understood that it wasn’t about English or plants, but I still couldn’t make sense of it.

“What is a ‘yuri’?”

“Oh my, don’t you know? It’s a love story between two girls.”

“Eh…… I’ve never heard of it before.”

She used to be very interested in this field last time and Toyoda-san’s spirit was rekindled as she taught her grandson.

“Women also like love stories between girls…….” 

What popped into my mind was Miyano. I had always thought his hobby was unusual, but maybe I just didn’t know about it and it wasn’t as unusual as I thought it was.

Because we are usually unaware of what people are passionate about.

“Do you have something (you’re passionate about), Tashiro-kun?”

It was asked casually but I was taken aback.

“Hmm…. I wonder. I haven’t really thought about it.”

I wrecked my brain trying to think of something I was passionate about, but nothing came to mind. 

“Aren’t you into table tennis?”

Suddenly, I heard Yamada-san’s voice and my shoulders jerked up in shock.

I wonder when he came up.

“I just want to be strong enough to defeat the captain.”

――Because if I practice in the same place as the enemy, I’ll never be able to defeat the captain.

It’s a situation where one has no choice but to learn everything in his hands and habits as a subordinate.

Yet Yamada-san shook his head in exasperation.

“It’s just an excuse.”

I was annoyed at being dismissed in a mature manner, but I had nothing to say in return.

ーーI’ve been thinking about it for a while.

Why was it so frustrating to keep losing and learning from someone you couldn’t beat?

The reason why I could enjoy the game with Yamada-san and Toyoda-san was that it was more interesting and mellow as compared to playing with the captain. I also have more energy to work on my secret training.

――I want to win. Against that person.

Months passed after that. I tried countless attempts to win him, but in the end, I was still no match for him.

On top of that, it was December and the captain was retiring. It was an extremely late retirement for an athletic club, but for me, it was too early.

It’s only been eight months since I came to join the club on a provisional basis and that’s all I’ve been doing.

“You’re not coming back, captain?”

“I’m no longer the captain.”

“That’s not what I meant! I haven’t won yet…….”

I clenched my fists at the lonely, empty, void sense of loss.

“Oh. I see. I’ll give the authority to quit the club if you beat the next captain, don’t worry.”

“What……?”

ーーNo, no. The loneliness dissipated into the air.

The new captain was Hanzawa-senpai.

“Look forward to working with you~”5

He smiled at me and said, “Of course he’s strong, he’s been appointed as the captain. He’s strong.”

“Eh…?”

It’s been handed over.

As I froze in shock, Hanzawa-senpai patted my shoulder while I was still in a daze. “Good luck~” I could never surmount his composure.

Ultimately, the month of December was coming to an end and the goal of defeating the captain was still unachievable.

While feeling the impatience of wanting to quit but unable to see chances of victory, a new system was steadily put in place.

I was told that winter break would be short and there would be no practice, so my participation in club activities went up somewhat, and I even got to play in a game.

Winning the first match against a player from another school gave me a feeling of elation that I had never experienced before, and I couldn’t stop my excitement.

Of course I wanted to feel the joy of winning, but I also wanted to experience the reassuring feeling of being empowered by the cheers of my friends again.

A sense of unprecedented unity was almost addictive.

Unfortunately, I lost in the second round, but I’ve gained the experience of carrying the name of a team on  my back, even if it was an individual competition. It was such a unique feeling of joy. It was also fun to cheer for Hanzawa-senpai who won. “Ah… I’m in trouble” was a feeling I deeply felt.

I’m going to be stuck here.

But at the same time, when I saw the players from other schools crying in frustration when they lost, I knew there was something different about them from me.

Because I didn’t have that much passion in me to cry over a loss.

ーーI guess that’s what they call ‘zeal’.

Then, when I reflected on how I felt, it was difficult to come to a conclusion.

I couldn’t defeat Hanzawa-senpai and Yamada-san. Excluding senpai and the others, there were many opponents I still couldn’t outplay.

I was able to beat Shirahama and my classmates relatively early on, but the wall was still high.

Going back further, I just hated that I couldn’t beat the previous captain in the beginning. If you’re caught by a troublesome club and lose while not feeling well, even the usually good natured me would crack and feel regrettable frustration.

It was a matter of willpower to find a place to practice outside of school.

I found a table-tennis table at the district center and a public bathhouse to practice secretly, and I was happy to see myself getting stronger and stronger―― but there was a nagging doubt in my mind that passion was supposed to be about something you really like.

I thought it was something irreplaceable and non-negotiable.

ーーFor me, table tennis was not something that I absolutely had to do, but…

“Yamada-san, let’s play one more game!”

My breath became harder to catch.

I was able to more or less compete, and my game was lasting longer than before. Still, my limbs were still moving well. It became easier to do the actions that reflected the advice given and my vision became clearer.

ーーIt was like I could see and feel clearly that the road was right in front of me.

“I’m tired, I’ll pass.”

It’s not that I liked it, but I could now face table tennis as a pure goal to achieve, not for any negative reasons.

“Ehー!”

“You’re with me then.”

Kumano-san, who had been the referee until just now, was going to be my opponent.

He was another veteran player and according to Yamada-san, he was “extremely good at reading opponents”.

It’s a whole new level here.

I’ve been getting pushed around a lot at the public bathhouse table tennis hall full of crooks, but the fact that I didn’t get swept up in the atmosphere during the inter-school tournament, was a testament to the fact that I’m a good player. I’m sure that it was my experience here that kept me grounded.

After the second game, I had sweat it all out and was headed home when I met Shirahama on the station platform.

Under the pitch-black winter sky, the whiteness of my exhaled breath was dimly lit and luminous.

“Huh? Tashiro, are you on your way home?”

He was probably on his way home from club activities.

I heard him get all excited about practice after he had a moment of regret from hearing that his first-year peer had played in an official match. The basketball team was a team sport, so there was a strong sense of camaraderie. But even so, the atmosphere could get tense when competing for a spot in the team.

I was a little dazzled by the expression on his face as he talked about his love for basketball. But that was a story that only started until last month.

As someone who had been in the match once, I knew a little of that feeling.

“Oh. You’ve worked hard.”

“You look somewhat refreshed?”

“I came from the bathhouse.”

“Oh, that one. How’s it going? Are you better than the captain?”

“Don’t ask!”

“I figured.”

It was during summer vacation that I was able to beat Shirahama.

The original gap in skill level was not easy to close, much less reverse it. The realization that I was able to turn things around due to my natural athleticism encouraged me. I’ve never dared to say this to my friend who was with me since middle school, because I felt like I was being pompous. 

Even if we don’t talk about it passionately, there was a sense of fulfillment that we could share while poking each other and waiting for the train.

ーーI didn’t have that kind of special fondness for something like Miyano or Toyoda-san, but……

I’m sure this was the best I could do right now.

I mean, the right to leave the club was at stake. Yup.

* * *

“TAー SHIー ROー KUNー”

When Hanzawa-senpai wandered into my classroom during lunch break and called my name in a cheerful voice, I stiffened.

“GEH-”

They found out that I skipped the meeting yesterday.

Hanzawa-senpai was on the disciplinary committee, so there were times when his schedule just didn’t fit. The vice-captain would take charge during this time. Apparently, I was marked absent since I didn’t wait for the club activity to start.

ーーI thought I’d have more time.

Yesterday’s discussion was, as I recall, to confirm the annual plan under the new system and to discuss the candidates for the next captain.

I wanted to leave the club if I could, so I thought that I didn’t need to hear about it, which was a mistake. They took me in and told me about the meeting over my lunch break. I was devastated.

ーーI was going to go to the store to buy some more food because I was hungry after P.E.

The bell would be ringing anytime soon. Well, what’s done was done.

“Ah, captain, please have a match with me!”

“You can come to the club after school today.”

Right now, this was what I really wanted to win most.

The first current goal: To defeat Captain Hanzawa.

ーーThe youthful drama of Tashiro Gonzaburo’s fated decision of leaving the table tennis club starts now!

There’s nothing to be afraid of now that I’ve raised the rousing text in my chest.

“Yes!!”

“And we’re also going to talk about who we’re going to appoint as the next captain.”

“It’s still too early.”

“It’s like using a year to show them your capabilities and then taking over the club.”

Hanzawa-senpai, who was in a good mood, mentioned about the next captain. I didn’t know if he was referring to me. I took in a breath of the cool, crisp December air.  “That’s tough.” I laughed as a reply, treating it completely as someone else’s problem.

.

.

.

.

I forgot about it. I really did. I even heard you talking about it before!

Ah ah, I knew it. It seems like I couldn’t quit the club!!

t/n: ah~ this chapter made me reflect… what is passion? Passion doesn’t need to be something you feel so fiery about, something that you excel in. Passion can be something you like, something that makes you want to improve in, something that you don’t dislike doing. Thinking about it, translating seems to be my passion?? HAHA~!

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