Savage Divinity

Five hallways and two flights of stairs away from Sarnai’s room, I finally feel far enough to let the mask slip, my forced smile melting away into a more natural frown. It’s tough pretending to be optimistic and cheery, especially after a long day’s travel followed by an entire night spent making soup, but my Mentor needed love and support, so that's what I gave him. Alsantset and Akanai are too... practical. While they both love Baatar, their concept of moral support starts and ends with a swift kick in the ass. It’s not that they’re unaffected or unsympathetic, far from it. Alsantset clung to Charok the entire time and went misty-eyed more than once, while Akanai implied no less than a half-dozen times I should visit Baatar as soon as possible. The problem is, neither one of them knows how to help my grieving Mentor, their sensible, matter-of-fact approach only driving him away.

Both of them kept saying he needs to let Sarnai go and move on, but I disagree. They keep trying to muscle him out of his depression, but anyone who knows Baatar will tell you he’s a stubborn and, dare I say, dogged man. With the love of his life still drawing breath, there’s no way he’ll ever give up and neither will I. Though my jolly demeanour was faked, I meant what I said: So long as there is life, there is hope.

Even if Sarnai’s situation were more dire, Baatar isn’t ready to give up and neither am I. Coma aside, she's actually in pretty good health. Her heartbeat is steady and circulation is good, plus she’s capable of drinking and breathing on her own. Bedsores and infections are manageable with a little light healing and her muscles have a long way to go before atrophy kicks in.

I can’t imagine what I’d do in Baatar’s shoes, though I know giving up would be the last thing on my mind. He’s handling it better than I’d expected, sitting with her and tending to her needs instead of raging around and destroying furniture. Not that I've ever seen him lose control, but this is his wife. Hell, I was worried he’d be Tainted, but when I got there, I found a grand total of two Spectres hanging around him, unable to get through his iron will. I’ve seen happy-go-lucky idiots with more Spectres hanging around them.

That’s my Mentor, unblemished and untouched by lies and deceit.

Lin’s finger pokes my cheek and somehow eases away all my troubles, her sweet smile like a balm for the soul. “It’s okay hubby,” she says, swinging our clasped hands back and forth. “You’ll figure something out, I know you will. Did you find a book about comas? Can I read it?”

“Mm... I read the book a long time ago, can’t remember its name. There wasn’t much though, a paragraph or two mentioned in passing regarding patient care.” Hiding my past life's memories is getting harder by the day, but my lovely Lin takes my explanation in stride. I feel guilty about lying to her, but admitting I’m from another world and significantly older than I appear is something I hope to never do again. Yea sure, Baledagh accepted it easily but he’s so adorably trusting and naive, I can’t help but worry about him. Without me, he’d make so many mistakes, I shudder to think what would’ve happened if I'd never arrived.

Then again, it’s technically his life and his mistakes to make. Who am I to stop him?

Whatever. Maybe he’s right, maybe he’s my reincarnation and our soul split in two for reasons unknown. Or maybe I have multiple personality disorder and Baledagh and the Spectres are figments of my imagination. Or I’m a figment of Baledagh’s imagination... Ugh, great. As if existential crises weren’t enough, now I’m pondering if I’m even real. Now I’m half convinced the world is an illusion and my brain is floating in a jar of nutritional fluids stored inside a warehouse to be used for scientific research...

...

I mean... It’s not... not possible, right?

A second poke to the cheek snaps me out of my thoughts as Lin tilts her head in concern. “Rainy, you’re worrying too much.” Yawning, Lin hugs my arm and adds, “Things will work out or they won’t, ya? Worrying won’t change anything, so why bother?”

Stroking her chubby cheek, I smile and ask, “Oh? When did you get so old and wise? What happened to the unruly little brat who pouted all day because I wouldn’t take her out to fly a kite?”

“That was one time! And it wasn’t all day, I only pouted for an hour, maybe two.”

“Yea, because I gave in and brought you out, which almost cost us our lives.”

“Don’t be dramatic hubby, it wasn’t so serious.”

“A flock of jattuyas grabbed the kite and almost carried us away because a certain silly girl wouldn’t let go of the strings. We were almost dragged off a cliff, so yea, I’d say it was serious.”

Flashing me a toothy grin, Lin shrugs and yawns and says, “I didn’t want to lose my kite. It was my first gift from you.”

“Silly girl.” Noticing her dragging feet and frequent yawns, I stop to let her climb on my back. Piggy-backing her through the Inner Wall, I ask, “So where’d you go last night? No one knew where to find you or Teacher.”

“The guards brought me to see Daddy,” Lin replies, her voice muffled as she nuzzles into my back. “He's treating someone and couldn’t talk, so I fell asleep on the couch. After I woke up, he asked me to come find you and bring you there. He needs your help hubby, so hurry.”

Keeping my retort to myself, I collect Mafu and follow her sleepy directions out into the ruins of the city, where the scars of battle are still plain to see. The stretch of land between the Inner and Outer wall is bustling with life as the hardy citizens and stalwart soldiers work to repair the damage done by the Defiled, with not a single stone left unturned by their murderous advance. Off in the distance, I can barely make out the ruined remains of the Outer Wall, the sight of fallen gates and crumbling battlements sending a chill down my spine. Just over a month ago, those formidable defences were breached by Demons and Defiled, leaving only a single Inner Wall standing between them and the utter annihilation of the Northern Province.

It would’ve made for a really shitty cherry on top of my sweet victory sundae at Sanshu.

Thankfully, the Defiled retreated, but rebuilding the city and repairing the Outer Wall is a colossal undertaking which will take years to complete. Years we probably won’t have before they return. Knowing this, Han BoHai is more focused on putting up defences and fortifying the area as opposed to building housing. Problem is, since the Inner Wall was designed to cater to visiting diplomats and dignitaries and now filled to the brim with soldiers and supplies, most workers are roughing it out in flimsy tents and makeshift shelters. Even Alsantset didn’t warrant a room on the Inner Wall after refusing a billet on the Outer Wall, which says a lot about the situation.

According to Akanai, who sleeps in a suite on the inner wall, the Outer Wall was used to house soldiers. Close to 600,000 bodies are packed into its confines, taking up all available rooms. I can’t blame Alsantset for refusing, it doesn’t seem like the safest place to live. Considering the fortification’s ramshackle condition, I doubt they’ll hold for long against the superior Defiled numbers should they return, but there’s no other option. If we abandon the Outer Wall, we’ll be leaving a stone fortress for our enemies to wait out the winter in. Even though the horde retreated into the northern wastes, it’s still only a two-day march away. No one knows why they retreated in the first place, but the fear of their return is palpable. Every living soul is working as hard as they can to shore up the defences, and I’ve placed my retinue under Alsantset’s command for the time being. Training will have to wait until everything’s settled.

Lucky them...

What concerns me most is the coming winter. The temperature will drop well below freezing and while food isn’t an issue, there’s a severe shortage in warm clothing and shelter. Funding isn’t an issue, but all wood and stone resources are being used to plug holes in the Wall and build barricades instead of fixing the housing shortage. I sent word to BoShui and asked him pass these concerns on to his uncle, but just in case, I’ve tasked my brain trust with presenting ideas for cheap, warm, affordable housing we can build using the resources at hand, meaning no treated lumber, cut stone, or clay. Despite wracking my brain all night, I haven’t been able to come up with any useful ideas on my own. Dirt houses won’t be warm enough or built fast enough while layering clothes and huddling together will only go so far. After the first snowfall, these linen tents will be as useful as nipples on a breastplate, meaning we have two months before people start freezing to death in their sleep.

Memory is a strange thing and my memory stranger still. I’ve realized I’m more of a critic than a thinker. Show me a plan and I’ll point out flaws as quickly as I see them, like Dastan's crossbow, but ask me for a solution and my brain goes blank. For example, I wasn’t sure how to help Baatar or Sarnai until I was in the room with them, and then all these ideas kept flowing out, like talking to her, exercising her muscles, and periodic testing for responses. This tells me I’ve got solutions rattling around up in my brain, I just need to find the proper inspiration.

I could become a professional critic, travelling the Empire and complaining until someone fixes things. That’d be a dream job for me, though I doubt it’ll earn me many fans.

After a half-hour of riding, we arrive at our destination, a sheltered, secluded hut on the western edge, nestled between two mountains. If it wasn’t for Lin guiding the way, I probably would’ve missed it and ridden right past the concealed entrance. Ignoring the poorly-hidden soldiers, I follow my little wifey into the hut where my long-eared Teacher greets me with a hug. “Rain my boy,” Taduk says, grinning as he thumps my shoulders. “Welcome back. I heard you had quite the adventure out in Sanshu.”

“Doesn’t seem like much compared to what you went through here.” Lean and haggard, my future father-in-law seems to have aged in my absence, with a smattering of new wrinkles dotting his handsome face. Weeks worth of scraggly beard hangs from his chin, a wild, tangled mess so jarring compared to his formerly neat, well-groomed appearance. “Are you okay?”

Short of breath and barely standing upright, he takes my arm and leads me deeper into the lantern-lit hut. “I’m fine, I’m fine, lacking in sleep is all. I’ve been busy as you can imagine and I overspent some Chi, but nothing a good night’s rest and a hot cup of tea won’t cure.” Stopping in front of a bed, he pulls back the covers to reveal a half-charred corpse, mangled beyond all recognition, while chattering away at a mile per minute. “I heard about your adventures from Lin’s... guard and I could use your help. I’ve been keeping him alive for weeks now, just barely that is, between the burns, wraith poison, Demon Ichor, broken bones, internal injuries and whatnot but I’ve reached the limit. Not my limit of course, but his. He’s no spring chicken and if I continue forcibly Healing him, he’ll wither away and die from the expenditure. I was hoping your aquatic friend could do something about it, so hop to it.”

Ending with a long, much needed breath, my teacher slumps down into his chair and gestures at the corpse, leaving me worried for his mental health. How long has he been treating this cadaver? My Teacher is a proud man, kind-hearted and loving to all things besides rabbits, so I’d imagine being unable to save Sarnai was a huge blow to his ego. Shuffling over, Lin hops into his lap and yawns, father and daughter both drowsily waiting for me to perform a miracle and bring the dead back to life as if it were simple as plucking an apple.

They really have too much faith in me.

Wondering how to tactfully ask if my teacher’s gone insane, the corpse twitches and sends me recoiling in surprise. A closer inspection shows that the poor bastard is still drawing breath, though I’d bet my substantial, newfound wealth he wishes otherwise. Why did Taduk waste so much effort on this one person? “Who is this?”

“The Colonel General.”

It takes a few seconds for his words to register, my brain unable to connect the dots between the Northern Living Legend and the disfigured person lying before me. “Nian Zu? What the-?”

“Language, my boy, language. My sweet Lin-Lin is here.” Ignoring Lin’s frown, Taduk pats her head and continues. “Demons and Wraiths happened. They sent three or four nasty scoundrels alongside two dozen Wraiths give or take, all to put an end to our great hero. Hard to do a proper count, especially after the good Colonel General flattened his manor and the surrounding area. Been keeping his condition a secret, need to know basis, would send the province into a panic if they hear about it. Best if he makes a full recovery, otherwise, we must keep him going for another week or two and say he passed away in his sleep. Morale and propaganda, yes? Unyielding unto death, the great Nian Zu. Hogwash I say, it’s little better than torture, but Baatar made the request and I acquiesced.” Making a sour face, Taduk hesitates before asking, “Is he doing better? I was rather harsh when I broke the news about Sarnai, too tired to think straight.”

“He’s managing.” Unlike this poor bastard. “I've a few ideas I want to run past you later.” Throughout Taduk’s explanation, I’ve been trying to get Blobby to come out and fix Nian Zu, but the lazy droplet won’t budge from his roost. All my pleas and entreaties are met with steadfast refusal, Blobby turning his metaphorical nose up at the Northern Province’s most stalwart defender. ‘C’mon,’ I beg, mentally kneeling before Blobby. “This man has defended the province for decades. You’re hunting Demons right? If you help and stay with him, the Demons will come running to you. You’ll have more than you can eat, I promise you this.’

Instead of appealing to Blobby, my words seem to offend it, my amorphous tenant clamming up and refusing to respond. Guess he likes it here.

I suppose I should be flattered.

After spending a good thirty seconds cursing the unpatriotic bead of water to no effect, I turn to Taduk and shake my head. Sighing, Taduk slumps in his seat and snuggles with Lin, looking like the weight of the world sits on his shoulders. “I used to boast of how I could heal anything short of death,” he says, voice thick with regret. “Perhaps this is the Mother’s way of teaching me humility. I’ve failed my friend and now I’ve failed my country. What use am I?”

While Lin and I comfort Taduk, Baledagh chimes in, having watched the entire episode from his room. “Why can’t Nian Zu’s body take anymore Healing? Can't you just give him more Chi?”

Putting my thoughts together, I explain to my little brother, “Healing isn’t as simple as most people think. Most of the time, Taduk doesn’t fix injuries. Technically, he directs the body to fix itself. Sometimes, a little physical effort is needed, like setting bones and removing foreign objects, and other times he structures the Healing in a way to make it more efficient or see the process through to its entirety, but mostly his Chi acts as a catalyst, speeding along what will naturally happen. With me so far?”

“Yea.”

“Now, the energy to heal has to come from somewhere, and Chi can’t create matter out of nothing. That’s why we’re so skinny, because every time we’re injured, our body breaks down fat and muscle tissue to fix our injuries. Now take a look at Nian Zu. He’s gaunt and emaciated, with little muscle left on his frame, and still in this poor condition. His body’s been overtaxed and if Taduk heals him without giving him time to replenish blood and nutrients, then his body will shut down and go into organ failure.”

There’s a long pause before Baledagh speaks up again. “Then how do Demons do it?”

“Do what?”

“Create matter using Chi.” Sensing my confusion, he explains, “Vivek Daatei, the Defiled Chieftain. While turning into a Demon, he grew twice as large in a matter of heartbeats. Heavier too, his footprints went deeper into the soil than before. Wasn’t he creating bone and muscle out of Chi? Or the Demon equivalent or whatever?”

Opening my mouth to refute him, I’m unable to produce a counter argument. It doesn’t mean he’s wrong, it’s just that I don’t know enough to dispute it. Instead, I pose the same question to Taduk who frowns and shakes his head. “A good question, but I hardly see how the answer will help.”

Once again, Baledagh picks up the slack. “Could it have something to do with these Spectral remains?”

Seeing no harm in asking, I take Taduk’s hand and explain everything about the purified Spectres through Sending, including my tests on the subject. While travelling home, we found that although the Spectral remains differ from Chi, neither Baledagh nor I can explain how it’s different. It’s more... more, I guess. I can’t absorb it like Baledagh does, but I can use it in place of Chi. In fact, I think it's better than Chi, easier and more responsive to my directions. Otherwise, it's the same.

When Baledagh absorbs the Spectral remains, it doesn’t change our physical body, but his Forms have shown marked improvements in a short time. Despite only being in the driver’s seat for short periods of time, Baledagh’s grace, control, and reflexes have left me in the dust. Why, I don't know, but I assume it's giving him some form of Enlightenment or something. Why him and not me? I dunno.

When I’m done explaining everything aside from the twinned-soul aspect, Taduk ponders my words in silence, cradling the sleeping Lin in his arms. Boiling a pot of tea while he thinks, he snaps out of it as I hand him the cup. “After you killed the Demon in the city, you were covered in its fluids yes? Too much for your friend to neutralize in time?”

“Yea.”

“And you used some of that... Energy to heal. Did you suffer significant weight loss?”

“Nothing notable. Actually, I remember thinking I looked surprisingly healthy. I was half covered in burns, but I still had the hand that got soaked in Ichor. I never did thank the Healer who saved me the trouble of regrowing it.”

Shaking his head, Taduk points out the flaw in my logic. “You were burned by Demon Ichor, unconscious, and in the midst of battle. Any Healer worth their salt would have stabilized you and moved on. The hand would have been ignored. It’s possible you healed yourself, or rather, the... ahem, Energy, helped heal you.” Perking up, he asks, “Do you have any left? I’ve a theory on what these remains are, so try to transfer it to Nian Zu and we’ll test it out.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

Taduk shrugs. “Then he dies and the nation grieves. At least it’ll spare him from another two weeks of agony.”

“Well... better to try and fail than fail to try, I guess.” Wrapping the Spectral remains in Chi, I whisper a small prayer before placing my hand on Nian Zu's chest and directing the Spectral remains into him. My Chi dissipates into nothingness the moment it leaves my body, but the Spectral remains are unaffected, flowing into the wounded hero without resistance. I used more than half of what I collected on Yo Ling’s island in testing, so I hope what remains is enough to save Nian Zu.

“Stand aside,” Taduk says as he lays hands on Nian Zu. Holding my breath in anticipation, I’m not left waiting for long as Taduk removes his hands only seconds later. While my teacher stands in shocked silence, a tear falls from my eye in honour of this celebrated hero, waiting as he draws his last breaths. Beloved by the people, he dedicated almost half his life to the Wall, following an already impressive military career. A high ranking member of the Situ Clan, his story could have gone much differently were he a lesser, more self-serving person, but his love for his fellow countrymen led him to give up his pursuit of power and accept the thankless task of Commander of the Bridge. For decades, he held the Wall against wave after wave of Defiled warriors, killing Champions and Demons like plucking chickens, and I’m running out of things to say, because honestly, I didn’t know him all that well and only met him that one time, where he prevented me from killing his nephew. Is Zian his nephew? No that doesn’t seem right, but then again, I don’t really understand the family bonds. So confusing, sharing the same name yet not really being blood related, how does that happen?

...

Not to be rude, but why isn't he dead yet?

Breaking the silence with a whoop of joy, Taduk lifts me into the air and twirls me about, laughing as Lin wakes up and joins the celebration. “Rain my boy, we did it!” he exclaims, relief and satisfaction flooding his face. “Do you know what this means?”

“Er... we saved a national hero’s life?”

Putting me down, Taduk scowls and throws his hands into the air. “Who cares about one life.” Switching to a silent Sending, he explains, “Those Spectral remains? That’s pure Heavenly Energy. Heavenly Energy which you can manipulate at will! This is the discovery of a lifetime!”

...

Maybe I’m dumb, or maybe it's because I haven't slept in thirty-six hours, but I don’t get it.

What's the difference between Chi and Heavenly Energy?

...Whatever. Taduk's happy, Lin's happy, Nian Zu's alive, so I'm happy. I'll take the wins wherever I can. 

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