Savage Divinity

A single misstep, ducking left instead of slanting right, is all it took to differentiate a winner from a loser.

Baledagh’s last match ended so quickly even his opponent was surprised he’d taken the obvious bait, cheeks heating with shame as he reflected on his swift defeat. Standing in shock with his blunted saber resting against Baledagh’s chest, Zian’s astonishment melted away into a smug smirk spreading across his oh-so punchable face, winning the match in a single exchange. With Sumila winning all her matches and Li Song defeating Baledagh and securing a close victory over Zian, the spoiled narcissist’s single victory of the day earned him third place. This meant Baledagh was dead last, boasting an impressive record of zero wins, three losses, and a tally of thirteen exchanges.

In total.

Out of three matches.

How humiliating.

Brother’s ruthless assessment only made things worse, never one to soften his blows. “Too confident and too careless. I told you Zian favours his right and prefers defence to start, yet you still ran right into his kill zone. Don’t be too eager to close, start slow, circle and test him before engaging. You could’ve also won against Li Song but you were distracted and let her surprise you. Please don't stare so much when Mila and Lin are watching, you're killing me... Anyways, you relinquished the upper hand almost immediately and got beat down once she built momentum. She isn’t faster than you and only has the one saber, so why are you letting her attack without consequence? Block with one weapon and attack with the other, use your sword and shield interchangeably on offence and defence. Husolt went to all the trouble of making these replicas so use them like you’d use Peace and Tranquility.”

Resisting the urge to sulk, Baledagh mentally voiced his dissent. “They’re not the same. The weight’s not right and they lack... something. I can’t put my finger on what it is, but it’s different. I would’ve done much better with real weapons in hand.”

“Yea, but I’d prefer to avoid risking death every single day. I’ll admit, the rules are stacked against us in a spar since we can’t trade injuries, but you still should have done better.” Brother’s tone wasn’t angry, but his disapproval stung. “They feel different because Peace and Tranquility are Spiritual Weapons which can guide your movements to a certain extent. They’re like your arms and legs, but once we put a different weapon in your hands, you don’t know what to do. Your instincts and Forms are top-notch but your decision-making is god awful. You’re unstoppable against a horde of weaker opponents, but the moment you’re matched against an opponent of equal or greater skill, your flaws become obvious. You’re too straightforward and honest with your intent, too cocky and careless despite all your failings. Reflect on these defeats, I expect a better showing tomorrow.”

“Yes, I’ll meditate on my flaws so let’s switch.” Baledagh answered with gritted teeth, guiding Mafu through the busy streets with Mei Lin snuggled in his arms. After the spars finished, Brother left Baledagh to deal with the clean up, but now that it was over, he still refused to retake control, busy lecturing from the void. Were things to go any further, he feared losing all reason and taking advantage of Brother’s betrothed.

“Sorry, I wanna keep practising in our Natal Palace, you have a nice, pleasant ride to the market. Enjoy the fresh air and don’t dwell too much about losing. It’s a beautiful day and you’re among loved ones.” With that said, Brother returned to practising Chi manipulation and left Baledagh to deal with the world at large.

Her hare-ears resting against his cheek, Mei Lin chattered non-stop, filling him in on their time apart. “... and then Tanna tossed him right out on his butt. Dummy thief, she should have chopped his hands off, who steals from a charity?” Pausing for breath, Mei Lin peered back at Baledagh’s face, setting his cheeks aflame once more. “You’re so quiet Hubby,” she said, planting a tiny kiss on his chin and setting his cheeks aflame. “Don’t be sad, it was only a spar. It wasn’t even a real thrust, you bumped into his saber. In a real fight you wouldn’t even notice the injury and keep fighting. You’re just not used to the rules yet, ya? To touch is dumb, you should've made it until someone gives up.”

“It’s still no excuse for my defeat,” Baledagh answered. Brother was right and whining would do no good, he could only learn from his mistakes and not make them again. Seeing Mei Lin’s pout, he feigned a smile and glanced around, pretending to check on the wagons. Loaded with crates and guarded by undercover Sentinels, the wagons overt purpose was to bring supplies to Tanaraq’s school outside the Walls. Once there, the disguised Sentinels would switch places with Brother’s returning retinue. The Sentinels were then free to head out unnoticed while Brother’s retinue loaded the first batch of Spiritual Hearts inside the concealed compartments and returned to the Wall in plain sight.

Those poor souls. Though he was a kind man, Brother had no mercy for those he deemed ‘slackers’, pushing his retinue beyond mortal limits and wholly convinced determination was a proper substitute for endurance and fortitude.

Unperturbed by his silence, Mei Lin continued chattering away and Baledagh strove to do as Brother did, doing his best to pay attention and engage her in conversation, his thoughts drifted away more often than not. Small talk was more difficult than expected, especially since he couldn’t bring himself to care about the comings and goings of a spoiled young lady like Mei Lin. Lovely and sweet as she was, her exuberant disposition was a poor match for Baledagh, unable to cope with her boundless cheer and energy.

Qing-Qing was different. While Mei Lin slept in and frittered away her days with meaningless outings and games, Qing-Qing was always busy doing something or the other. Whether it was changing bandages, stitching clothes, cleaning the hut, or braiding horse manes, her hands never idled for a second throughout the fleeting time they spent together.

She was gone now, but he could still learn from her example.

Giving Mafu free rein, Baledagh focused his thoughts and studied his memories of the day’s spars, searching for ways to improve. An enclosed area suited Sumila’s fighting style well, but if he could avoid her initial thrust and shield charge, he’d be in a position to at least put up some resistance. Parrying was out of the question, so he’d have to dodge, slip to her left and guard against the resulting sweep. Against Li Song, Brother already pointed out the path to victory, matching her aggression and throwing off her timing with sheer quantity of attacks, and though it was easier said than done, it wasn’t impossible. Zian might technically be his toughest opponent, with a style diametrically opposing his own, flowing defence matched against outright aggression.

For the first time, Baledagh felt his inability to manipulate Chi was proving to be a massive disadvantage. Without Bother’s constant Reinforcement, he had no hopes of matching Zian’s speed or power. The Society Brat wasn’t pompous and arrogant without reason, second only to Sumila in raw strength and mass, and without Peace and Tranquility to compensate for his shortcomings, Baledagh had no answer for Zian. More information would be needed, so he made it his goal to last at least ten exchanges tomorrow, swallowing his pride to learn as much as he could.

Since the Natal Palace was supposed to help with Chi manipulations, perhaps Baledagh could use it to learn the basic Chi skills, especially the ones which required precise timing like Amplification or Deflection. It wasn’t easy for Brother and him to coordinate in the heat of battle, and if Baledagh could handle it on his own, it would free up brother to better support him with things like Lightening and Reinforcement. Though it wouldn’t help them in tomorrow’s match, he needed to work hard towards a better future.

Like Qing-Qing always did.

Smiling, he watched the autumn hues slip by as Mafu carried them away, imagining he held her in his arms. She would have fit in well at the Wall even without his help, finding herself work in the cooking tents, or the seamstress huts, or wherever she pleased. A gentle soul wrapped around an unyielding core, she never gave in to despair throughout her troubled life, always looking forward with a smile on her face. She wouldn’t have comforted him over his losses like Mei Lin, or pretended they never happened like Li Song, or overlooked his feelings in her joy like Sumila. No, Qing-Qing would have laughed at him for sulking like a petulant child, before running off to cook up a feast and telling him to put on weight before trying again.

Blinking back a tear, he realized this was the first time he’d thought of her without feeling like he’d been kicked by a horse in the gut. Oddly enough, he was sad to find her death hurting less as time passed, the pain all he had left of her. Taking a deep breath, he held it until his lungs burned with exertion, staring up at the endless azure sky. Exhaling slowly, he felt the misery and anguish slipping away, though not entirely. Things weren’t so easy, but at least he’d stopped clutching to her memory like a blanket, shrouding himself in unhappiness just to keep from feeling empty. She was an optimistic dreamer, idealistic and cheerful, and though she didn’t love him, she wouldn’t be happy to learn she was the source of Baledagh’s misery.

Wherever you are Qing-Qing, I hope you are well. Thank you for saving my life. I will do my best to live it well.

Goodbye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accepting a towel and water-skin from sweet Lin, I wipe the sweat from my face and drink deep, taking a break from setting up gers. “Thank you wifey,” I say with a smile, receiving a hug in return. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Giggling into my chest, Lin squeezes my chest with all her strength. “Look who's feeling better. You were so gloomy on the ride here, I missed my happy, smiling, hubby.”

“Sorry to make you worry.” At least she didn’t notice I was an entirely different person. Leaving Baledagh unsupervised is always a risk, but I was too excited about practising to think clearly. Whatever, he needs to be out and about without me hovering over his shoulder all the time, there’s a lot to be said about going for a ride and getting away from your thoughts. Today’s defeats were a big shock to him. With all his new Insights into the Forms, he thought they’d be a walk in the park, but there’s a big difference between Performing the Forms and using them in a real fight. Theoretically, Baledagh’s Martial skills are on par with Song and Zian but his lack of experience and forethought are a massive handicap. I’ve helped him compensate for poor decisions in the past but it’s time to take off the training wheels and let him scrape his knees a few times.

What better place than in private spars with a dude who hates us?

I’ll be honest, Baledagh showed us a spectacular crash and burn. I kinda wish he hadn’t lost to Zian in a single exchange, the snobby bastard will be insufferable from now on. It would’ve been nice to take him down a peg or twelve and see that arrogant twit lose three times in a row, the man has far too much confidence as it is. Oh well, chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. Baledagh’s taking it much better than expected, with only minimal whining and sulking. Hell, he’s already back at it, practising his Forms inside our Natal Palace.

I gotta say, our Natal Palace is pretty handy. Not only does it allow me to practice manipulating my Chi without wasting it, since all the use is internalized, it even helps me ‘see’ how my Chi is spent. Though I can always feel it, it’s not the same as seeing. For example, I’d always pictured Honing as smooth, circular chain of Chi moving around the edge of my blades, but seeing it in action inside our Natal Palace showed me just how uneven and bumpy my Chi really was. Smoothing it out will make me more efficient and probably make my slashes feel smoother, with less jarring when I cut through bone and metal. Even better news is I think I’ve figured out why I only succeed with 1 out of 3 times with Amplification. It has to do with direction and focus. I have none. When my Chi ‘explodes’, the force shoots off in every direction when I should instead funnel it in one direction. My ‘success’ happens when my timing is right and the bulk of the force just happens to coincide with the direction of my strike. Now that I know, so long as I get the timing right and direct the Amplification properly, I should be able to up my success rate closer to 70-80 percent.

Now, I’m sure someone could have told me these things, but without seeing which parts of my Chi are dissipating into nothingness, I would never have known exactly what I was doing wrong. The Natal Palace is like a self-diagnostic tool and practice area all rolled into one, though there’s more to it than that. When I’m capable of more complex functions of Chi, I’ll be using my Natal Palace to mould the Chi before unleashing it into the world. When Tenjin wants to light his finger, then all he needs to do is visualize it, supply the Chi, and his digits are nice and toasty. If he wants the flame to detach from him in the form a bird and have it make a circuit through the air, then there are a few more steps than ‘visualize’ it.

Heavenly Energy is all around us, invisible and intangible like the air we breathe. Through meditation and the state of Balance, we harness the Heavenly Energy and convert it into Chi. By definition, Chi is no longer Chi once it leaves our bodies, becoming Heavenly Energy once again. Therefore, in order to manipulate Chi outside our bodies, we’re forced to create Constructs, essentially a list of instructions to carry out before turning back into Heavenly Energy. Since Chi doesn’t exactly understand words, trial and error is the only way to figure out how to make Chi do what we want it to do. A Natal Palace is necessary if you want to get enough practice in without stopping to replenish your Chi every hour.

There are other rules in place, but it’s so far above my head there’s no point worrying about it. For now, I’m working on getting my Chi to exist outside my ‘body’ before coming back inside. Like blowing a bubble, except instead of using gum, I’m using Chi.

No success yet, but it’s my first day. Talent means nothing. Hard work is everything.

Taking a moment to cuddle with Lin, we watch a group of kids playing with Aurie, the cubs, and the pups. Their laughter is a balm for the soul and I’m not the only one who enjoys it. Parents, caretakers, and people passing by all have smiles on their faces, the joy of children a wonderful thing to behold, especially in these dark times. Losing the Western Province has everyone in a foul mood and for good reason. Their faith has been tested, the insurmountable Walls breached and the Western Province lost. Though news of how close the Northern Wall came to disaster was suppressed, it’s easy to wonder and figure out what would’ve happened if it did.

So yea, hearing children laugh and play is a welcome change from all the social unrest and crippling anxiety they must be feeling. Hell, if it wasn’t for this school of mine, many of them wouldn’t even have food to eat.

Having watched long enough, I give Lin one last hug and clap Pran on the back while aiming a kick at the sitting Viyan and Birca. “Enough lollygagging, get back to work.” It’s good to see familiar faces again, but the pair of degenerate gamblers have changed little in my absence, only slightly more tanned than I last saw them. Pran and Saluk are dutiful as ever, knuckling their foreheads and shouting “Yes boss,” before grabbing a massive crate each.

“Is good thing, school,” Saluk says, grinning as he effortlessly lifts a box heavier than I can drag.

“Boss is good man,” Pran replies, nodding to no one in particular. “If there is school when Pran and Saluk young, then no bad times.” Pran’s Common is better than Saluk’s but not by much.

They must’ve had it rough as children, most half-beasts do. “Where are you from? I’ve never met anyone else with an accent like yours.”

Saluk smiles sheepishly and answers, “Sanshu.”

Seeing my confusion, Pran adds, “Pran and Saluk very tiny when Mama die. Village no want Pran and Saluk, so we go to city, yes? Guards no let us in, no coin, no skill, no worth. Live outside many winters.”

“Only Pran and Saluk,” Saluk continues, a wistful look on his face. “Bad times.”

Damn. Trying to brighten the mood, I ask, “So what brought you to the army?”

Smiling, Pran answers, “Pran and Saluk kill bad man and friends, take club and boots.”

“Very shiny and purple, good club,” Saluk adds.

“Pran and Saluk go to trade dead man’s things, need bandage and herb for cuts. Guards see club and surround Pran and Saluk, ask where we get. Bring guards to see bad man.” Shrugging, Pran concludes his tale with, “Next day, is soldier. Is good life. Have food and bed, meet Bulat and Ravil, then meet Boss. Good, good, good.” Humming in a rich baritone, the two brothers stride off with their boxes and get back to work, leaving me, Viyan, and Birca staring at one another in shock.

Without any training, Pran and Saluk killed a bandit with a Spiritual Weapon and were forcibly enlisted in the army. I’ll bet everything I own their bounty money was pocketed by the guards too. Shaking my head, I ask, “What about you two? How’d you join the army?” Maybe they've also got some noble backstory I can feel good about.

“Got caught filchin’ a noble’s coin-purse,” Viyan answers with a shrug, unrepentant and unashamed. “He wasn’t a horrible sort, gave me a choice: lose my hands or join the army.”

Dammit. “And you?” I ask Birca, almost afraid to hear the answer. Out of all my former soldiers, I’d say Ravil is the most intimidating. Next would be Birca, a man with the face of a gorilla and the manners to boot.

“Tale as old as any. I fell in love and slept with a merchant’s daughter,” he answers, giving me a roguish wink, so at odds with his rough, villainous look. “Got caught and the family claimed I raped her to save face, so it was the rope fer me. Luckily, my girl pleaded with her daddy and he wasn’t a soulless bastard. She married the man of his choice and in return, he greased a few palms so I’d get sent to the army. Looked her up last time I was in the city. She looked happy. Husband seemed like a good enough sort. Dressed in fine silks and eating good food, it was better’n anything I could give her. They had a kid, too old to be his if ye know what I mean, so there’s that.”

Silva marches by with a coil of rope, pretending to work as he says, “He’s a fucking liar, ain’t a woman alive who’d sleep with his ugly ass without gettin’ paid first. Hell, ye can’t even go whoring with him cause the ladies raise their prices every time he shows up. Me ‘n him joined for the same reason, because we’re idiots with more courage than sense. Join the army, be a hero, that sort of nonsense, and we bought it.”

Embarrassed to be caught lying, Birca scurries away, cursing Silva as they go. Shaking my head, I return to work putting together another ger. Whatever, they’re a bunch of idiots, crooks, and scoundrels, but they’re my idiots, crooks, and scoundrels. Along with Rustram, Bulat, and Ravil, they’re the only survivors of my original cripples and I intend to treat them right. Pran and Saluk are at the top of the list for Spiritual Weapons, but those other three have promise.

Hell, compared to a lot of my new retinue, they’re downright elites.

...

Well... there’s a depressing thought.

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