Savage Divinity

Cursing her feeble body, Sarnai’s withered, wrinkled hands trembled as she faced a struggle greater than any she’d ever faced before. She’d fought Defiled Champions and Demons with a smile on her face yet this ordinary, everyday task had her quivering with abject terror. She wished she could harness the Energy of the Heavens and change her body to avoid going through this degrading process ever again. Her body betrayed her not only with age but now infirmity and frailty, all but crippled after waking from oblivion.

Mother knows what Sarnai would give to return to oblivion or better yet, to have died cleanly during last night’s ambush. No, not last night, the ambush took place almost seven months ago after which she slept through the better part of half a year. Almost two entire seasons had gone past, like a story out of some outlandish opera where the heroine falls asleep until her hero arrives to save her. Except in the opera, she’d be a beautiful maiden instead of an old crone so weak and ill she can’t even get up to use the chamber pot without help. Glancing at her handsome, virile husband, she wept silent tears as he lifted her into his arms and proceeded to help her void her bowels.

So humiliating. If he didn’t regret marrying her before, he most certainly did now. In the prime of life, he was stuck here helping a woman who looked old enough to be his grandmother wipe her ass. A pox on Healers everywhere, especially the flea-bitten, buck-toothed, rabbit-eared braggart Taduk. ‘There’s nothing I can do,’ he claimed, stating her body’s natural state had atrophied despite all his efforts. He was right, Healing could only slow the progress, not stop or reverse it, but she still wished things were different. It would take plenty of hard work and exercise to regain full control of her body and though she knew he’d done everything he could, she cursed him out regardless, blindly venting her frustrations on a man she owed her life to.

Except what sort of life was she left with? How long would it take to recover her strength? A year? Two? Ten? Would she even recover in time before age brought her low once more? At close to eighty years old, most of her childhood friends who weren’t Martial Warriors were in similar straits, ancient, decrepit living corpses who needed help wiping their drool. And those were the lucky ones, the ones still drawing breath. Better for her to have died in glorious battle than to be reduced to a worthless cripple, nothing but a burden to those she loved. Better had she stayed in oblivion and wasted away than to subject him to this miserable existence. Her death would pain him but he was strong and had so much to live for once he was free of her, hopefully finding love once again with someone who could match his lifespan.

Why did she listen to his enthralling voice, so full of pain as he pleaded her to return? She should have ignored it and remained... wherever she was. 

After finishing the mortifying ordeal and she was all cried out, her sweet, dutiful husband placed her back in bed and tucked her in like a child. “Dry your tears, my rose,” he said, dabbing at her cheeks with a handkerchief. “This is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember the wound I took in Shen Bin hunting the megalodon? You were covered in blood and shit gushing from my ruptured entrails, but you held my guts in long enough for Taduk to find us. This is nothing in comparison.”

Dog-brained fool. How were the two events even remotely related? Too tired to muster a scathing response, she turned away from his loving gaze and closed her eyes. His sigh tore her in two as he sat by her side, stroking her hair as she fell asleep.

She prayed this was all a terrifying nightmare from which she would wake.

Or not. Either outcome would make her smile.

The next time she woke he was gone from her side, a discovery which left her conflicted. This was what she wanted, to push him away and set him free, but it still pained her to see him gone. If she could go back and do it all again, she would have listened to her parents and refused to marry him, not because she regretted their life together but because he deserved so much more than she could give. He deserved a partner who would age with him, not grow old and die before he reached middle-age. It was a child’s dream to think they’d be any different from the countless mixed pairings before them and Sarnai’s heart wept for all the other couples like her, like her daughter and Charok, or Rain and his two little wives. A human lifespan was too brief and fleeting compared to the long-lived, it’s no wonder they set themselves apart more often than not. Better to avoid the inevitable pain and live a different life altogether.

...

Pei. Foolish woman, what good does lying to yourself do? Given the chance to leave a thousand times and you’d run headlong into his arms at the hint of a smile.

“Hiya.” Rain’s chipper greeting interrupted her bout with self-pity, far too lively and animated for someone in his precarious situation. Even ignorance had its limits but Rain ignored those like he ignored all other basic conventions. “Mentor stepped out for a bath, he’ll be back soon. How are you feeling?” Grunting in reply, she lied in bed and studied Rain’s features, unsure whether to thank him or scold him. If not for his optimism and insistence, it was entirely possible she would've died in her sleep, a suitable end to a satisfying life. At least that way her husband could remember her the way she wanted to be remembered, as a strong warrior instead of the weak cripple she’d become.

She shouldn’t blame Rain, not for this. Oh how she’d wanted to cast him out the first day they’d met, a scared, vulnerable child who represented needless risk with little to no reward. Now he was a man grown and a true hidden expert, unknowingly forming his Natal Palace years ago. She was so proud of him despite hardly believing half of what Baatar said about him, but her husband insisted it was all true. What she knew of Rain’s accomplishments before her extended, involuntary nap was already impressive enough, but after hearing the full story, the pragmatic part of her wondered if the People would be better served by quietly disposing of this one-time slave and, in his own words, almost Defiled.

It was certainly the cleanest solution. Rain was a candle burning bright, one who drew far too much attention to their corner of the Empire like Akanai and Husolt or... others. Worse, Rain himself had so many secrets worth killing over, like his healing method or how he’d bonded with a drop of Heavenly Water. Then there was his parentage, something she’d kept quiet for Baatar’s sake, but she wasn’t the only person with half a brain who pieced together the obvious clues and reached the same conclusions. The old guard had good reason to be wary of Rain when he was merely a half-broken slave, but her hard-headed husband and starry-eyed daughter just had to aggravate things by not only teaching the boy to fight, but also pushing him towards glory, short-sighted fools the both of them.

Falling Rain, hero or calamity? Only time would tell.

“I’m tired of laying down. Help me up?” The words were barely out her mouth when Rain jumped to obey like the dutiful child he was, always seeking to please. He even had a cup of tea on hand to soothe her parched throat, steeped to perfection and kept warm by the brazier. Mature beyond his years, she prayed history would not repeat itself, knowing there was much darkness inside him and with good reason. Though kind and compassionate to the extreme, the cynic in her couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to cover up his hidden anger, to smother it with charitable deeds and humanitarian efforts in the hopes it would simply fade away given time.

Foolish child. Hiding the darkness only allows it to fester, but if she knew how to help him she’d have done it a long time ago. “Thank you,” she said, body drained from merely staying upright, propped up by a seemingly endless swarm of pillows around her. “For everything, not just the tea. You gave him strength when he needed it most, supported our family as you should.”

Flashing a smile, Rain sat down to lend his support, both physical and emotional. “Happy to take credit but I didn’t do anything worth thanking. All I did was offer a few words which weren’t even mine.” Taking the cup, he filled it once more and tilted his head, wordlessly asking if she wanted more. Torn between quenching her thirst or delaying her next session with the chamber pot, the former won out and she nodded, greedily gulping down three more cups of tea.

Dabbing her lips clean, Rain sighed and said, “It’s a damn miracle you know?” Sarnai made a face and refused to speak, but Rain paid no mind and continued rambling. “After coming back from Sanshu, Mentor and Sister were both heartbroken over your condition. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. Sister tried to convince herself you were gone so she could start processing her grief while Mentor wore his sorrow like a cloak and snapped at anyone who came near you. You were comatose for months with no improvement and then out of nowhere you opened your eyes. It’s incredible when you think about it. Yesterday, you were all but dead and now you’re sitting upright and drinking tea.”

Unable to hold her tongue any longer, she snapped, “Is there a point to this? I’ve precious few waking minutes left in me and I’d hate to waste them listening to you praise the Mother. Never took you for a Mother-Lover and though I’m thankful for Her mercy, that’s a private matter between me and Her thank you very much.”

Taking her anger in stride, Rain chuckled and shook his head. “Glad to see you haven’t lost your fiery disposition. What I’m trying to say is, you’ll have to forgive them for not noticing how distraught you are.”

Silence hung over them for several heartbeats until her sorrow broke the dam. “I closed my eyes and months passed,” she whispered, trembling from head to toe. “Now I’m weaker than a day-old kitten and barely able to keep my eyes open. Is this how my life will be? Waking for brief minutes at a time as the world changes around me? How long before I wake and don’t recognize the stranger in the mirror?” Her voice broke as she sobbed into Rain’s shoulder. “I’m so weak and helpless, I don’t want them to remember me like this...”

Rocking her gently, Rain held her close and shushed her. “Don’t be silly. You’ve been asleep for months, of course you’re weak. Your job now is to eat and recuperate, and in time, you’ll be strong as a bull. I stayed up all night plotting out exercises and equipment we can use to help speed things along, but one step at a time, okay? Akanai told me, then I told Mentor, and now I’m telling you: Where there is life, there is hope. If you don’t believe it,” he added jokingly, “Well, I’m living proof.”

Reaching up to cup his cheek, Sarnai rested her head against his and nodded ever so slightly. Eager to avoid speaking more about his past, he rambled on about things she missed in their time apart, mostly focusing on the twins or his pets. Only half-listening, she marvelled at his strength of will, privy to the knowledge of how much he’d suffered to get to where he was now, going from brutalized slave to celebrated hero in less than a decade. He had more than his fair share of luck but if given the choice, how many would willingly follow in his footsteps?

In her current situation, she’d believed hope was a sweet poison, one she had refused to partake in, but perhaps she was being old and cynical. Six months of laying around left her weak and helpless, but this was her first day back in the world of the living, so perhaps she had expected too much. Hope, a tiny thing, so fragile yet so precious. 

Letting Rain into their lives was the right decision, no matter what the future entailed.

She merely hoped things would not end in horrific tragedy.

When he first arrived, she spent weeks waiting and worrying about the fallout, wondering how she could fix things after he inevitably snapped and hurt someone. Only a few weeks later, she turned into a nervous wreck after Alsantset declared her intent to bring two infants into her home, a disaster in the making so long as Rain was still there. When the day of adoption arrived, Sarnai rushed over to her daughter’s home to meet her new grandchildren only to be greeted by the sight of young Rain cradling little Tate in his arms. Still yet to recover from his injuries and emerge from his shell, Rain stood there with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes, singing a sweet little nonsense song which melted Sarnai’s heart.

On that fateful day, she had not two, but three new additions to her family: Tali, Tate, and Rain.

He wouldn’t turn against his family, of this she was certain. Rain was stronger than he looked, a young man talented beyond belief who defied all expectations. A hero to his peers, a measuring stick for the next generation, and most of all, a Sentinel of the People. Though old and feeble, there were still things she could do to protect her adopted son, things not even her husband or his mentor could accomplish.

Her son. How strange, she thought she accepted him into her family so long ago, but this was the first time she referred to him as her son. She liked the sound of it. Her son, Falling Rain.

When Baatar returned, Sarnai put her plan into action. “Rain, be a dear and go fetch my grandchildren. I’d like to see them before I fall asleep again.” As he strode out the door, she added, “Bring your pets too. I want to see these outfits you keep gushing about and I’ve yet to meet your bears.” By the Mother, did the boy intend to open a zoo? Someone had to put a stop to it before he adopted every stray animal in the north.

Once alone, she turned to her husband and Sent, “Inform my mentor I would have words with her in the morning. She’s maligned our son for years now and I’ll not stand for it any longer. He’s a good child and keeping him at arms length isboth stupid and pointless now that the world knows he’s one of the People. I’ll not leave him unguarded for another second and if she won’t listen to logic or reason, then I’ll resort to blackmail.”

Surprise flashed across her husband’s face, which was immediately replaced by sheer delight. “Gladly my rose, I will personally send word the moment Rain returns.”

An idea came to her and she Sent, “No, have Gerel pass the message along. Another one of her idiotic actions. Either Gerel is her Disciple and should be defended at all costs, or he isn’t her Disciple and there was no need to publicly break ties. I swear, that arrogant woman is living proof age and wisdom do not go hand in hand.”

“As you say my rose, though I caution against being so direct. You know her temper.”

“Pei. So what if she has a temper? If I think she needs to hear it then I will tell her so myself.” She wouldn’t say it to her face and he knew it, but hearing him caution against it made her want to say it which he also knew. An aggravating man. “Also, you dog-brained fool, what were you thinking falling apart so easily? Did I wed a warrior or a weakling?”

Anger lighting a fire within her, Sarnai continued ranting at her husband through Sending, drinking in the sweet sight of his wagging tail and upright ears.

Chapter Meme