Savage Divinity

There was a storm brewing over the horizon, a coming calamity from which Luo-Luo feared she could not escape from. The signs were all there, a glance here or a smile there, minor things when taken separately, but when put together, they painted a most ominous portent. Luo-Luo did her best to maintain composure, but the more she looked and remembered, the more clues she uncovered, and she soon worked herself into a nervous tizzy imagining all the worst case scenarios her mind could come up with.

As much as she wished it were otherwise, she knew her fears were well-founded because they made too much sense. Earlier, she’d ironically been pleased by Lord Husband’s attention to his manner of dress, arriving at her hut without prompting to request she help choose his outfit. She’d taken it as a sign of improvement, but sadly, Lord Husband had an ulterior motive, one which revealed itself to Luo-Luo after he disappeared mid-banquet.

An impressive feat considering he slipped away with the Guardian Turtle in tow.

Given how concerned he was with ‘looking nice’ and his lusty nature, Luo-Luo had a good idea why Lord Husband made an escape, but no idea which harlot he snuck away with. Her first guesses were Du Min Yan or Ryo Da’in, because of the former’s supposed history with Lord Husband and the latter’s shameless and brazen display of interest, all but stripping Lord Husband bare and ravaging him with her eyes. At least Du Min Yan showed a modicum of propriety, but in Luo-Luo’s eyes, this was merely a ploy, feigning disinterest to entice Lord Husband to join the hunt. Judging by Lord Husband’s obvious disappointment at her cold reception and his ravenous stare, the horned hussy’s ploy worked fabulously and Luo-Luo feared for her already tenuous place at Lord Husband’s side.

A most formidable foe, this Du Min Yan. Strong, beautiful, and confident, ‘Yan-Yan’ already had Mila and Lin-Lin’s blessings, though Luo-Luo took a small measure of satisfaction at seeing her rebuffed by Li-Li. From what she could piece together from overheard snippets of conversation, Yan grew close with Lord Husband while under pursuit from their enemies and fought side by side in battle, long before they experienced their meteoric rise to fame. Had she not been selected as Du Min Gyu’s Terminal Disciple and adopted Grand Daughter, then Yan would have most likely already been betrothed to Lord Husband, a stunning revelation which left Luo-Luo seething with jealousy.

Were she wedded to almost anyone else, Luo-Luo would hardly bat an eye at how many wives or lovers her Lord Husband took, but Falling Rain had strange views on love and marriage, namely being that marriage required love. While love had its place, Luo-Luo was taught that marriage was largely a political tool, and should love blossom from such a union, then she would be doubly blessed by the Mother. Now, not only did she yearn for her Lord Husband’s love, she worried he would have none left to spare after doting upon Lin-Lin and Mila. What would it be like if a third, fourth, or fifth wife was added to the mix? Luo-Luo hated being the outsider looking in and now it seemed she was fated to be pushed away ever further to make room for the accomplished and talented Du Min Yan, or whatever temptress succeeded at stealing him away during the celebration.

And to think, Luo-Luo foolishly believed she was making good progress with Lord Husband...

So engrossed in keeping up a brave front, Luo-Luo almost missed the startling change in the banquet’s atmosphere. By the time she noticed, many of the most prominent guests were already on their way out, while onlookers gabbed and gossiped about this stunning breach in etiquette. At first, the whispers attributed the departures to Du Min Gyu’s disappearance, having abandoned the festivities to sort out his family matters, but this rang false to Luo-Luo, especially given the aged hero’s recent contribution and glowing endorsement from the probable heir to the throne. Leaving a party would hardly be enough to upset any politician in their right mind, and considering most were leaving together, this meant the exodus was either a coordinated show of disdain for a living legend, or some matter of the utmost importance had drawn all these powerful men away.

Calmly making her way to Mother Sarnai’s wheeled chair, Luo-Luo quietly shared her observations, but Mother merely smiled and patted Luo-Luo’s cheeks. “No need for you to worry girl,” she said, brimming with confidence as her eyes narrowed in joyous anticipation of the unknown. “Even should the sky fall, there are taller and broader shoulders around to bear it.” Despite Mother’s assurances, Luo-Luo noted Father Baatar and Mother-in-law Akanai looked none too pleased as they too made ready to leave.

Retaking her place at Mila’s side, Luo-Luo arrived just as they were bidding their hosts farewell. “... and come visit soon, ya?” Still nestled in Yan’s (insignificant) bosom, sweet Lin-Lin seemed unwilling to part, so enamoured by the pale, short-haired beauty, though why, Luo-Luo couldn’t say.

“I will, I promise,” Yan replied, squeezing Lin-Lin tight with a knowing smile, and Luo-Luo suspected it’d be sooner rather than later.

Mila also shared a hug with Yan, but when Li-Li’s turn came around, the half-cat girl rebuffed her with a preemptive martial salute, which was perfect since Luo-Luo was having difficulties feigning a smile. With all the grace and charm she could muster, Luo-Luo curtsied before Yan-Yan as proper decorum demanded, but it went unnoticed as Yan-Yan frowned at Li-Li’s back, utterly befuddled by the half-cat’s cold attitude. Using this to her advantage, Luo-Luo offered her thanks and slipped away before Yan could recover, less of a slight than Li-Li’s outright disdain, but Luo-Luo had to tread carefully. If the talented Du Min Yan took offence, there was little Luo-Luo could do but cower and plead for mercy.

Gnawing on her lip the whole ride home, Luo-Luo decided she could no longer afford to be subtle. While she’d all but thrown herself at Lord Husband already, if she wanted to win his affection, she would have to be even more shameless than her competition. Seeing how Zabu and Shana travelled with Yan for more than a year, Luo-Luo could easily see her or Ryo Da’in forcing their way into his bed, possibly even conspiring to do so together. Well, they weren’t the only ones who could tempt Lord Husband with quantity, Luo-Luo’s handmaidens would undoubtedly leap at the chance to serve Lord Husband in a more intimate fashion...

Cheeks burning from her forward imagination, Luo-Luo put her plan into motion the moment they dismounted outside their yurts. Feigning a modest yawn, she turned to Lin-Lin and said, “Today’s excitement has driven Luo-Luo to exhaustion. This one begs leave to retire early.”

“Silly Luo-Luo, you don’t hafta ask permission, ya? Goodnight, see you in the morning.” With a cheerful farewell, Lin-Lin gathered all the animals and marched off with Mila and Li-Li in tow.

Right into Lord Husband’s hut.

“Ah, where are you going?”

Luo-Luo blurted out the question before she could think better of it, but Lin-Lin replied with a cheery smile. “We’re gonna wait up for hubby cause Mi-Mi wants to know where he ran off to. I told her not to worry about it, but you know how Mi-Mi gets.”

Thickening the skin of her face, Luo-Luo pretended as if the idea never occurred to her and said, “Oh, then allow this one to join you in waiting.” Struck by a sudden flash of inspiration, she added, “Perhaps we should all change into something more comfortable first?”

If Luo-Luo had to debase herself and find partners to entice Lord Husband with, it would be much better to join hands with her senior sister-wives instead of introducing even more women into the fray.

Thankfully, Lin-Lin, Mila, and Li-Li were all too kind to bring up Luo-Luo’s sudden change of plans, though the first two tried to talk her out of joining them, but Luo-Luo would not be dissuaded. After throwing on a sheer, seductive night-robe which left little to the imagination, Luo-Luo wrapped herself in a cloak and made her way over to Lord Husband’s hut, keeping her eyes down so she wouldn’t have to face any leering stares from nearby soldiers. It wasn’t her imagination, for she heard the two guards snicker as she closed the door behind her, and her cheeks burned with shame. “There is nothing to be ashamed of,” she silently told herself. “You are Lord Husband’s concubine and this is perfectly natural behaviour.”

Perhaps that last bit was a stretch, but she’d learned early on how to adapt to new circumstances.

As last to arrive, all eyes were on Luo-Luo as she turned around, studying her choice of outfit while she studied theirs. Wearing a loose, long sleeved tunic with her white scarf wrapped around her, Lin-Lin looked darling as she snuggled with the sleeping Mama Bun, so charming and defenceless despite the complete lack of eroticism in her choice of outfit. Beside her, Mila sat in an over-sized shirt with bare legs folded to one side and a single freckled shoulder also on full display, so similar to what she usually wore but somehow more enticing than usual. Li-Li had also changed out of her party clothes and sat wrapped in a blanket with two wildcats, the third off in the corner sleeping with the bears, quins, and rabbits. While there was nothing overtly enticing about Li-Li’s outfit, her actions were a distinct change from her usual aloof demeanour, showing a touch of vulnerability which even Luo-Luo found hard to resist.

Not for the first time, Luo-Luo marvelled at Lord Husband’s eclectic and varied tastes.

With so many women and animals crammed inside, Lord Husband’s large hut seemed a little cramped for what she had planned, but Luo-Luo could make do so long as the animals kept their distance once things were put into motion. She’d been taught to expect and accommodate a multitude of perverse desires, but hopefully, Lord Husband loved his pets and didn’t love his pets...

For some odd reason, everyone was behaving more subdued than normal, especially sweet and adorable Lin-Lin, who kept sending wary glances Luo-Luo’s way while shifting Mama Bun around in her arms. As Luo-Luo moved to sit beside her, Lin-Lin’s eyes widened in alarm and she shrank away. “Ah, no Luo-Luo. Go away!” Hurt and confused, Luo-Luo shrunk back and gawked as Lin-Lin corrected herself. “I mean... um... there’s no room here, so go sit with Li-Li yea?”

Even as she spoke, Lin-Lin shifted over into the space Luo-Luo had been about to take, and Mila and Li-Li soon followed suit. Unsure why she was being bullied so, Luo-Luo accepted her place without question and sat in hurt silence for the next few minutes, wondering what she could do to mend this divide. Were her clothes too scandalous, even for a concubine visiting her husband? Or was she intruding on some unspoken alone time for Lord Husband and his proper wives? Or had Lin-Lin realized her marriage bed was getting too crowded, and thought to get rid of Luo-Luo to make more room for ‘Yan-Yan’?

Before Luo-Luo could decide whether it’d be better to stay or retreat, she heard Lord Husband’s voice from outside the door. “Jochi, Argat,” Lord Husband began, greeting his guards like close friends. “Glad to see you both still here. Sorry for the bother. Anything happen while I was gone?”

“Nope.” Luo-Luo didn’t know which guard answered, but she could hear the hidden mirth in his voice. “Nothing happened, nothing at all.”

“Don’t you worry about us, boss,” the other guard said, seemingly on the verge of laughter. “You head on in and get off your... foot.” The first guard snickered while the other continued, “You need a hand?”

“Hilarious.” Lord Husband’s tone said otherwise, but it all seemed in good fun. It baffled her why he let his subordinates speak with such familiarity, but it wasn’t her place to criticize. Nor did she understand what all the mirth was about, at least not until the door swung open to reveal her tired, blood covered Lord Husband standing in the torchlight, his right hand lopped off at the wrist and his right leg amputated just below the knee.

Drowning out Luo-Luo and Lin-Lin’s horrified gasps, Mila’s feral snarl spoke volumes as she leapt to her feet. “Who did this?” the red-haired heroine demanded. “Who hurt you? I’ll kill him!”

“Really?” Supporting himself with a polearm, Lord Husband flashed a wry smile while pretending to cower. “In that case, I beg for mercy, beloved. Spare my dog life, I beg you.”

“You mean you did this to yourself?” Rushing over to help steady him, concern and disbelief warred across Mila’s lovely face. “Why?”

“Long story, but no need to worry. I’ll tell you all about it, but you mind if I sit first?” Shaking his head, Lord Husband muttered, “Can’t trust those idiots with anything. They only had one job: Let no one in my yurt, but they couldn’t even do that.”

“Sorry hubby.” Uncharacteristically subdued, Lin-Lin remained seated the entire time, still cuddling Mama Bun in her arms. “I forgot about... yanno... but it’s okay because...” Almost as terrible a liar as Lord Husband, Lin-Lin’s actions gave away she had something she couldn’t talk about, but Luo-Luo magnanimously pretended not to notice. Perhaps it had something to do with whatever Mama Bun had hidden in her paws, but Luo-Luo was too relieved to care. At least now she knew her sister-wives weren’t scheming to get rid of her, though she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t hurt by their lack of trust.

As Lord Husband found a seat beside Lin-Lin with Mila’s help, Luo-Luo’s handmaidens brought in food and wine before making themselves scarce, as per Luo-Luo’s instructions. While pouring wine into five cups, she avoided looking anyone in the eyes so as not to give away her plan, hoping to lower everyone’s inhibitions before making her indecent proposal. Undeterred by Lord Husband's missing hand and foot, Luo-Luo intended to strike while the iron was hot, or before she lost her nerve, and there could be no better time than now, whilst Lord Husband was tired and vulnerable.

Draining not only his cup, but also everyone else’s, Lord Husband politely gestured for more, but Luo-Luo hesitated to obey. Experience showed he couldn’t hold his liquor, and five cups was already four too many since she wanted him drunk, not comatose. Still, something in his eyes told her not to argue, his pain and sorrow visible for all to see, so she poured him yet another cup as he told his tale. Thankful he merely played with his cup instead of emptying it into his gullet, but Luo-Luo’s relief was short-lived as she listened in fearful apprehension, cursing Lord Husband for focusing on all the wrong details as he glossed over the broken Treaty and an entire room filled with Ancestral Beasts and Imperial Dharma Protectors.

She didn’t know the portly monk who’d attended her wedding banquet was a Dharma Protector, but she’d heard tales of their legendary prowess. The finest warriors in all the Empire, a Dharma Protector was a title reserved for those a half-step away from harnessing the pure Energy of the Heavens. Even longer lived than normal Martial Warriors, they were on par with Ancestral Beasts and reportedly powerful enough to be mistaken for living gods. Even the Emperor only had a single Imperial Dharma Protector guarding him, so for a vagrant Dharma Protector to take an interest in Lord Husband showed just how important he really was.

Only now, his Dharma Protector was dead...

“... and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” With his head resting against Mila’s, Lord Husband nuzzled Lin-Lin’s ears and sighed. “Either I keep my word and anger the Legate, or I ignore a dying man’s last wishes and become the Legate’s designated ass-kisser.”

“Don’t worry about the Legate hubby,” Lin-Lin exclaimed, her lips set in a darling little pout. “You do whatever you think is best. If he turns against you, then... Hmph.”

Mila did not agree. “Is the message really so important? You said yourself, it was more a personal confession rather than anything of grave importance. Can it not wait until later? It’s often said Imperial Scions are stronger than most Martial Warriors, but it’s always been attributed to their superior bloodlines or the Mother’s favour. If there really are Imperial secrets, then this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Can you really afford to pass it up just to deliver a message?”

“Hubby doesn’t need their stinky help, he’s...”

As Lin-Lin and Mila argued back and forth, Lord Husband sat in silence, but Luo-Luo didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. After going over his words a second time, she waited for a lull in the conversation before tentatively asking, “Er... Lord Husband, perhaps Luo-Luo is slow and foolish, but this one doesn’t understand why the decision must be one or the other.”

“What do you mean?” There was no anger in Lord Husband’s voice, only confusion. “I can’t stay here and deliver the Monk’s message, they’re two mutually exclusive decisions.”

“...Could Lord Husband not send a message?”

“No, like I said, the Monk specifically told me the message must go from my lips to the Abbot’s ears.”

“Yes,” Luo-Luo replied, wondering if she was making a fool of herself. It was so obvious a solution, but no one else had mentioned it, so there must be something she couldn’t grasp. Nonetheless, Luo-Luo pushed on and asked, “But if Lord Husband sent a message explaining his current predicament and asked the Abbot to come to us, would this not solve the issue? As a Junior Officer, being unable to travel freely in a time of war is a reasonable excuse for the imposition, is it not?

Lord Husband’s open-mouthed shock made Luo-Luo think he was about to scold her for being an empty-headed concubine who should know better than to open her mouth, but instead, he groaned and tried to palm his face, forgetting his right hand was missing as he smacked his chin into the tender wound. Wincing in pain, Lord Husband took a deep breath, then another, then a third before declaring, “Wow. I’m an idiot.” The tension melting from his shoulders, Lord Husband favoured Luo-Luo with his charming smile and said, “Thank you. Got any other really obvious solutions I’ve overlooked? Any advice at all, really.”

“This one is always happy to be of service.” Taking a second to calm her beating heart and gather her thoughts, Luo-Luo resisted the urge to clap in delight before explaining, “Even should Lord Husband remain in Nan Ping, some damage has been done to your relationship with Shen ZhenWu. For a man as powerful as he, it’s beneath him to even need to persuade Lord Husband. In his eyes, Lord Husband should be honoured to be his servant, so...”

While this wasn’t exactly the night she had planned, Luo-Luo found things had worked out even better than expected. Though she might not have his love and affection, at least she’d won his respect while keeping the tattered remains of her dignity intact.

Now if only she could get him drunk enough to forget about the toilet incident...

Chapter Meme