Savage Divinity

“To recap: Discipline is shit, so I want two sergeants per hundred-man unit, commander’s choice. Inform Mister Rustram of your picks and get to work familiarizing your people with the new policies and formations. There will be drills and public shaming of those who fail to meet my exacting standards. There may also be rewards for those who exceed it, assuming any of you are even capable of such a feat. Got it? Good. Get it done.”

While my officers disperse to communicate my displeasure to their subordinates, my mood sours at Jorani’s conspicuous absence and Daxian’s stifling presence. Another reason not to like the poncy soldier-turned-bandit, because he’s like a taller, more handsome, and more successful version of Jorani. I feel for the little guy. Their situation is almost like the one I have with Gerel, if Gerel was more popular and less bald, but I digress. Poor Jorani went through hell and back down at the Winery, with front row seats to an Expert beat-down courtesy of an ugly Mole Ancestral Beast. Now that the Treaty has been broken, it’s entirely possible we’ll get caught between duelling Divinities and be pulped beyond recognition. It’s not pessimism, but pragmatism. What was I supposed to do, lie about it?

Well... probably yea, because of morale and whatnot, I suppose.

Okay, so I fucked up and a Spectre popped into existence from Jorani’s psyche. Whatever. I handled it. We’re good, and now I know who the mole bitch is and why Mama Gam was so mad about not killing her. I’m curious why so many Ancestral Beasts were following Mila and her fellow Captain competitors around, but I doubt I’ll ever get an answer. Jorani heard multiple Ancestral Beasts and can place GangShu and Mama Gam at the scene, but who were the others? The Bloodthirsty Bull was definitely there and so was the Law-Abiding Rhino, but who was the Cranky Old Timer or the Eloquent Torturer? How many Ancestral Beasts were there in and around Nan Ping? A handful? A dozen? More?

Which brings me back to the whole, ‘We’re all gonna die’ thing, especially with GangShu insisting he stick around. I mean, if I wanted to avoid getting caught in the crossfire, hanging around with a walking, breathing, city-destroying calamity is not the way to go about it. I don’t even get Lei Gong or the Tyrant to bolster my retinue. The scruffy old drunkard doesn’t look like much, but he’s a bonafide Awakened Expert who’s friendly enough to maybe answer a question or two on the matter. As for the Tyrant, her Runic Rod brought the Mole-bitch to her knees and she drew two of them when Guan Suo threatened to kill her, so I know she’s packing serious heat. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen either one ever since the whole Pong-Pong fiasco, which I suppose is a good thing. Pong-Pong is smart enough to recognize them but too stupid to lay low, and I’d rather not find out how GangShu feels about losing not one, but two Drops of Heavenly Water to a worthless brat like myself.

Probably with outrage and bloodshed, if I had to guess. GangShu seems friendly enough, but considering how he dabbles in banditry, I wouldn’t exactly call him a paragon of virtue.

Eager to check on my new Spectral guest, I head back to my yurt for more quiet meditation, but change my plans once I arrive. Making the most of her time before going to bed, my charming wifey Lin baits and beguiles Sarankho and Jimjam into pouncing at their favourite toy, a bundle of feathers tied to a string. Having recovered from their usual seasickness, the bears wrestle with Mafu while the bun buns and quin pups hop and headbutt around them, caring nothing for their difference in size or diet. Huddled by the fire, Luo-Luo trembles in Sorya’s embrace while Anrhi runs interference between my cowardly concubine and the friendliest floof, Aurie, who seems adamant to make his way over and get the snoot boops he deserves.

Leaving Luo-Luo to Aurie’s affections for a little while longer, I wrap my arms around Lin’s waist and kiss her cheek. “Hiya wifey.”

“Hi hubby." Always happy to rest in my embrace, Lin leans into my arms and continues playing with the wildcats. With a wave of her wrist, the bundle of feathers quivers in place and Jimjam lunges for the kill, but my wifey yanks the feathers out of his reach. Waiting for this moment, clever Sarankho pounces once the feathers come to a stop, but Lin uses her foot as a pulley and drags the feathers to safety, dancing across the sand like a taunting bird. Neither wildcat is willing to give up and Lin brings them on a merry chase around the beach, which is much harder than it looks. I should know, because when I’m holding the string, it’s only a matter of seconds before the feathers are caught.

Sporting a mischievous grin, Lin leads the wildcats towards Luo-Luo and Sorya and leaves the feathers within arms length of their feet. Not expecting his quarry to stop, Jimjam overshoots his target but twists in mid air, smacking the feathers as he lands neatly beside the two women, albeit with butt towards them. Shoulders shaking from mirth, Lin’s muffled laughs are lost in Luo-Luo’s screams, and even poor Sorya is shocked by Jimjam’s shocking, butt-first entrance. Struggling to hide my smile, I kiss Lin’s temple and say, “That wasn’t very nice, wifey.”

“I know, Hubby.” Her eyes locked on Luo-Luo, Lin whispers, “But I can’t help it. It’s so much fun bullying Luo-Luo, ya?”

Don’t I know it. There’s something about seeing the prim and proper Imperial Servant cower and cringe which really gets my engine going, and it appears Lin shares my mildly sadistic streak. “I understand, but she’s terrified of the wildcats as is. No need to traumatize her even further.”

“I know, which is why I’m helping her get over the fear, silly.” Letting Sarankho bat at the other end of the string, Lin grins and says, “Look at how cute JimJam is, rolling around in the sand with his toy. Luo-Luo will see it and know she has nothing to be afraid of.”

While I also think he’s adorable, I can see why others might find Jimjam’s antics alarming. Laying on his side, the wildcat shreds the feathers with fang and claw while his hind legs twitch in practice murder-kicks, which is both silly and terrifying at the same time. “Wifey...”

My stern tone shows Lin I’m not fooled by her excuses and she puffs her cheeks in response. “Mean Rainy is bullying Lin-Lin because Mi-Mi, Li-Li, and Yan-Yan aren’t here to protect her. Just you wait hubby, I’ll tell them all about how you bullied me and then you’ll see.”

“I wouldn’t dare. My sweet wifey is too precious to bully.” With a sharp pat on the butt, I push Lin towards Luo-Luo. “Now go make nice.”

Glancing over her shoulder, Lin crinkles her nose and mouths “Pervert”, before skipping to Luo-Luo’s side with a smile. As I move to join them, my presence frees Anrhi from her screening duties as Aurie dives headfirst into my stomach and clinches his paws around my waist. Though I could easily resist, I settle down in the sand and let Aurie think he brought me down, to which he responds with chest-rumbling delight. Abandoning their toys, Sarankho and Jimjam soon join us for their fair share of affection, perhaps feeling starved of it because of Mila and Li Song’s absence along with my recent neglect.

I’ve been too distracted lately, what with regrowing limbs and crafting Keystones, but that changes starting today. First and foremost is I need to get my retinue in order, because surprise surprise, former bandits don’t make for the most disciplined soldiers. Well, Wang Bao's people are doing all right and I never have to worry about Dastan’s crew, but the rest are a rowdy and boistrous bunch, unused to discipline or, in Lang Yi and his former slave compatriots' case, too indulgent of their freedom. I also should pay more attention to my floofs, because they’re getting bigger and deadlier by the day and I’d rather not be on the business end of Jimjam’s murder kicks. What else do I have to do? Oh right, resume sparring on a daily basis and get practical experience using the Keystones. If there’s a problem, better to find out now rather than in battle with the Defiled.

So much to do with so little time. We’re on schedule to reach our destination in seven days, a port town on the border of Central called SuiHua where I’m to receive further orders. Who’s giving those orders or what they might entail are a mystery, since the Legate did not see fit to share his plans with little old me. I might be placed on guard duty and have weeks, if not months to continue preparations, or I might be sent to the front lines to fight off armies of invading Defiled. Who knows. So I might as well make the most of the time I have and enjoy the little things in life while I still can, like cuddling with Aurie, headbutting Jimjam, and nuzzling Sarankho while my wifey coddles and consoles my crying concubine.

God, there’s just something so arousing about Luo-Luo’s tear-stained makeup and heaving chest... I don’t even like her much, but I can’t stop thinking about sleeping with her. I have three loving brides to be, and still it’s not enough to sate my appetite.

Turning my attention back to more pressing matters, I realize I’ve left an important matter off my list of things to get done. I’ll need to keep an eye on Jorani and make sure he doesn’t keep birthing Spectres willy nilly, though I’m intrigued by the concept. If humans and half-beasts can create Spectres by being suitably despondent, could I make this work to my advantage? As disturbing as it was to see a Spectre come into being, they’re no threat now that I know how to make Water Chi. In fact, I’d love to find more and turn them into usable Heavenly Energy, but there’s been a surprising lack of Spectres in Central thus far. Can I create Spectres and then Devour them, thereby creating an infinite loop of Heavenly Energy powered by angst and depression? Somehow, I feel like it would violate the laws of physics, what with conservation of energy and what not.

Then again, where’s the harm in trying?

Alrighty then. It’s time to put your years of practice to work now. You can do this. Be depressed. Become the embodiment of despair itself, a bleak and cheerless soul held together by pain and misery alone, an empty shell housing no joy or hope within. Drown within your sorrows and let the melancholy consume you, for there is only suffering ahead. Basically, life sucks, because trials, and tribulations, and whatnot, you know? Things are bad, and will get worse, like you’ll be eaten by Defiled or something, and uh... in the grim darkness of the grim dark future, there is only darkness and... grim dark...

This isn’t working. Honestly, I feel a little silly trying to force depression, and my wildcat cuddle puddle is not helping. I dunno, despite my pessimistic outlook, I’m actually not too too depressed lately. At least I don’t think I am. Life still isn’t amazeballs, but I mean, I’m handling it reasonably well. I’ve got Lin at my side, and with luck I’ll reunite with Yan and Mila soon enough and we’ll kill Defiled to our heart’s content alongside other romantic ventures or whatnot.

So what are my options? Ethics aside, a Spectre farm might be useful, though I’m not sure I could stomach the necessary misery and suffering required to operate one. I could if I had to, I suppose, model it after my time in the mines and force poor souls to carry out monotonous, back-breaking labour while subjecting them to random acts of torture and suffering.

...

Hang on. Is that what the Canston Trading Group’s been up? I thought they were trying to turn me and the other slaves Defiled, but what if their goal was to create more suffering and birth more Spectres? Siyar said the Winery housed plenty of slaves, but there was no place for them to work. Are newborn Spectres an ingredient for Anathema? Why else would they keep so many slaves on site?

Mental note, bring this up with the Abbot, assuming he ever show his fat, bald head. What the hell is taking him so long? While wounded, Mahakala ran from Sinuji to Nan Ping in half a day, a trip which would take me ten days by boat and five days by horse for half a month of travel in total. At those speeds, the Abbot should have made an appearance by now, which means he’s either not a Divinity like his departed senior brother, or he’s taking his sweet ass time getting here. I hope it’s the latter, because I would really like a second Divinity around to keep GangShu in check, even if it’ll make my retinue a juicier target for enemy powerhouses. I’m stuck with one nuclear weapon, so I might as well go ham and gather as many as I can.

Gotta Catch em All, Ancestral Beast!

“Lord Husband?” Having recovered from Lin’s scare, Luo-Luo greets me from well out of reach, having touched up her make up while I was lost in wilful depression. “May we speak?”

“Sure. Take a seat.”

Though none of my kittens even look in her direction, Luo-Luo flinches away at the prospect of approaching my floofs. “Luo-Luo was hoping to speak in private.” Worried I won’t understand, she adds, “Without the animals, if it so pleases Lord Husband.”

Sigh. If this is another one of her blatant attempts to seduce me, I’m going to... I dunno. Do nothing I suppose. Either way, I don’t wanna stop cuddling with my kitties. “Look, I sympathize with you, but you’ll never get over your fears unless you confront them. Take a seat and relax, it’s perfectly safe.” Unable to resist, I add, “So long as you don’t turn your back on them or make any sudden movements.”

Honestly, if this keeps up, I might lose control and drag her off to my yurt...

Eyes wide and brimming with tears, Luo-Luo sports a pleading gaze while clutching her cloak tight. To compromise, I send Sarankho and Jimjam over to Lin and hug Aurie close, giving her a pointed look to tell her this is as far as I’ll go. Steeling her nerves, she circles around so I’m sitting between her and Aurie, but her caution backfires as her fluttering, furred cloak catches my sweet floof’s attention. Pupils going from narrow slits to wide wide saucers, Aurie turns on his Disney charm as he struggles out of my grasp, and Luo-Luo yelps in fear and backs away. Again, this works against her as Aurie’s instincts to chase kick in, pouncing over me to land neatly on Luo-Luo’s cloak. Caught by the adorable predator, Luo-Luo tumbles to the sand with a shriek amidst Lin’s peal of laughter, and Sorya, Anrhi rush over to help, but I wave the twin handmaidens back since Aurie is content to rub his face against the fur.

While waiting for Luo-Luo to calm down, I stand ready to intervene should I be needed, though I’m more worried about Luo-Luo hurting Aurie than the other way around. Flailing about in a panic, Luo-Luo struggles to scramble away, but her cloak is fastened around her neck and Aurie has the other end pinned down with his weight. Long seconds pass by as Luo-Luo wails and cries to no effect other than to draw a crowd. Not just my retinue, but even the animals are concerned by my concubine’s actions, though their interest seems tempered with a hint of bloodthirst. It’s not the smartest thing in the world to appear injured in front of a predator, but Luo-Luo is the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met.

Finally unable to stomach it, I shoo Aurie away and help Luo-Luo up. “It’s okay,” I say, feeling guilty for letting it go on for so long, but I honestly didn’t think it’d be this bad. “You’re safe and unharmed. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Aurie just wants to play. Shh, it’s okay, come on now, lets go inside and I’ll make tea.” Ten minutes later, Luo-Luo sits huddled at my table while sipping a cup of tea while my instincts scream at me to comfort her. Through sheer force of will, I remain rooted in place with hands folded atop the table and ask, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Taking a deep breath to centre herself, Luo-Luo begins, “This one has certain concerns she hopes to bring to Lord Husband’s attention, beginning with sir Daxian’s treatment. Though this one is sure Lord Husband has his reasons, antagonizing a man like Sir Daxian is ill-advised. Even if Lord Husband has nothing to fear from him, others will see this treatment and look down on sir Daxian’s strength. There is nothing to be gained from Lord Husband’s outright hostility.”

Oh. So it’s another critique. Ugh. “Noted. Anything else?”

Cringing at what I thought was a neutral tone, Luo-Luo continues, “Perhaps Lord Husband could enlighten this one to his intentions? Whatever the goal, there might be a different way to accomplish it without alienating sir Daxian.”

“Perhaps, but you don’t need to know why.”

Okay, it’s verified. I am terrible at cheering people up. The less people who know about Pong Pong’s true nature, the better, but Luo-Luo takes my denial poorly. Hunched over her cup of tea with tears spilling from her cheeks, Luo-Luo looks so pitiful I could almost cry, but I remind myself to stay strong because she still might be an Imperial spy. Even if she isn’t, who knows where her true loyalties lie? She says she’s loyal and devoted, but how am I supposed to take her at her word? “Look,” I say, trying to sound as kind and gentle as I can. “Like you said, I have my reasons but I can’t share them, okay?” I’m not even supposed to mention GangShu’s existence to anyone, because apparently it’s an unspoken rule. Ancestral Beasts and Divinities are treated with respect, but you’re not supposed to tell anyone about what they are, because they don’t like to be reminded of the vast gulf between them and the rest of humanity. They’re doing their best to fit in, and pointing out how different they are only exacerbates their already difficult positions.

Boo-freaking-hoo. Wouldn’t want to hurt the walking nuke’s feelings.

Pouting despite my efforts, Luo-Luo blurts out between sobs, “W-why does Lord Husband hate Luo-Luo?”

This again. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then why do you treat Luo-Luo so coldly?” With an adorable hiccup, the teary beauty sips her tea and waits for an answer, her pleading gaze tugging at my heartstrings.

“We’ve been over this before. I don’t treat you coldly, I treat you like I treat all the other strangers in my life, and make no mistake, you are a stranger.”

Another hiccup. “Luo-Luo is not a stranger!” she declares, with fire in her eyes and steel in her voice. “Luo-Luo is Lord Husband’s concubine.”

Finally, she shows her true self once again. Not the mousy, obedient servant she tries to portray, but a pampered little princess who throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way. “Both are true. You are my concubine and also a complete stranger, because you refuse to put down the act and be yourself. Who is Zheng Luo? What is your goal here? Your real goals mind you, because only an idiot would believe you’re enamoured by my manly charms and aching to warm my bed.”

Her scarlet cheeks show she at least has some shame, but it soon turns to naked rage. “So you did notice my efforts! And you ignored them? What sort of man are you to refuse a woman’s desperate advances?”

A stupid one. “A man who doesn’t want to be entangled in a loveless marriage. Is that the life you want? To warm the bed of a man who uses you to sate his lust?”

“I am an Imperial Servant,” Luo-Luo snaps, finally dropping her annoying habit of referring to herself in the third person. “My life was given in service to the Empire, and it was decided I would serve as your concubine. You are my Lord Husband, and my goal, nay, my purpose, is to please you, but what I desire is for you to love me as you love your other wives. Is that so terrible?”

... I am so turned on right now. I also feel terrible, but mostly, turned on.

Pulling back from the brink of madness before I lose myself to lust, I clear my throat and pray no one outside heard her rant. “I’m sorry if I’ve treated you poorly, but in my defence, I don’t understand your mindset. How can you be so willing to serve? Why are you not upset about being given away as a prize?”

“Such is life,” Luo-Luo replies, and her eyes drop in bashful self-consciousness. “Though to be Lord Husband’s concubine is no trial or tribulation, but a blessing in this one’s eyes.”

Oof. My heart. “Err... I’m not... displeased by you, just confused.” Way to go Romeo. Sweep her off her feet with your silver tongue. “You’re a huge help and I empathize with your apprehension, but I’m not going to sleep with you just to calm your nerves.” No, I’ll do it to sate my animalistic lust. No I won’t. Stop it. “Look, I said this before, but it’s going to take time to get used to this.”

“How long?”

Her plaintive tone is almost too much to bear, especially since I’m unaccustomed to being... wanted. “I dunno. A year? Nine months, at least. If I sleep with you before Mila, she may fly into a jealous rage and pound us both into meat paste.”

Blinking in wide-eyed confusion, Luo-Luo asks, “Mila is a....”

“Yes.” More or less. “So is Lin. It’s Bekhai custom not to engage in intercourse before marriage at the age of twenty. Not everyone adheres to it, but Mila and Lin were adamant about it.” Not so much for Yan, bless her warm heart and round, juicy ass. “So... er... yea. That’s all, I guess.” Please leave before I lose control. Quick, think of grim dark thoughts...

Comforted by our little chat, Luo-Luo fixes her makeup before sashaying out to rejoin Lin and the handmaiden twins. Thankfully, it appears as if no one overheard our little chat and Lin-Lin isn’t the jealous or inquisitive type, happy to sit beside me instead of in my lap and not ask questions why.

Well, one more thing to add to the list, but I can handle it before going to bed. Then again, to be fair, I was probably going to masturbate regardless.

Chapter Meme