Searching For You

"Yu Sha... our Dark Prince, was a man not capable of showing expression, let alone love someone." She exhaled a breath to help her move forward and added. "It wasn't until he brought you over... although it was short, those of us who served him, knew that he would give up his life to have you."

Although, recently she felt the same, to hear someone said so convincedly to her made her heart skip a beat. 

"Can't you at least tell him how you truly felt? If you don't want him, said so and give him closure. If you want him, he's the type that will fight the world to have you." Tears rolled down her face as she finished this sentence. Amari hastily bowed and turned around to leave. She may have spoke out of turn and showed an embarrassing side of herself.

Yu Sha was bewildered of the tears that bursted from the innocent Amari. Why was she so passionate about the prince? Did she also have feelings for him? "Amari... Do you like him?" 

Amari froze as her heart had been found out. Her mother worked in the palace and was privileged to see him from the distance. Knowing that no matter how she changed herself and how high she climbed the latter, she would never enter his sight. Instead, she chose to serve in his palace and take care of him in other ways. She always observed and watched him whenever he came into view. His life was only filled with black and white until Yu Sha came around. She was then determined to help them even it meant that she would only be watching him be happy, but that was enough to make her content. Is it what love is?

"Love is pure, it is kind and selfless. When you find someone you love, you will understand that their happiness overpower your desire to have them in your life. You are willing to see them with the other person if the other person is their happiness." She had long come to accept her fate that there could never be anything between the prince and her. Their social status were too different and even if it was close, he hadn't glimpsed at any of those women either. She accepted that she could only admire him secretly from afar. 

Amari walked out after making a wonderful moving speech of love. Yu Sha was unable to think as she was also moved by Amari's pure hearted passion. 

Yu Sha controlled the wheelchair to take her out to the balcony. Those words somehow strongly affected her. She hasn't for once taken Hue Chi seriously. The treatment she received from him, was what many dreamt they could have. Yet she hasn't done anything deserving of his love and attention and she freely received them. 

Yu Sha pulled up to the rail, put her arms on the rail, and perched her chin on top of her arms. "The Night Owl had too many wonderful women admiring him. Should I be sad that he was loved by many or be happy?" She slipped a hand down to touch her heart. "It's a good thing that others found him charming, right?" Images of the many times he attacked her with his charming dazzlingly look flooded her mind. The more she thought of their past interaction, the more water formed in her eyes. 


Someone knocked on the door, interrupting her thoughts. She turned to the door and commanded for them to come in. A cruise maid wheeled in dinner for her and asked if she wanted it in the kitchen or out in the balcony.

"In the kitchen would be fine." She shouted as she made her way in. 

The maid told her, she'll come get the dishes in an hour and left. 

Yu Sha reached for a dish and scooped a spoon, but for once she couldn't stuff it down. She spat out the food, put the spoon away and went back out to the balcony. This was so unlike her, to not have an appetite when food was in the picture. If her family and friends were here, they would lose their mind and be worried. But tonight, no one was around except her. 

She went back out to the balcony to lose her mind in the sea and beautiful skies only to lose her mind to the unsettling feelings and dreams she dreamt of. The dreams of that fantasy man who had the same dazzlingly, loving expression as Hue Chi and the dreams of the woman Atlas love. Both the man could love a woman with all their heart, all they had... men so hopelessly and innocently in love.

She had yet to figure out who that fantasy man was, but if the dreams of Atlas and that woman were true... She'd feel sorry for him. But unless she checked in with her grandma, she wouldn't know how much of it was true.

Yu Sha stood up, putting most of her weights into the unwounded leg and touched a sunflower petal. "You know, if you purposely showed me those memories, then I have prayed the best for him." If those sunflowers carried the wishes of that woman, she wanted that woman to know. Somehow she felt responsible to do something about it.

Filled with intense mix emotions of the things happened today, she had to vent her frustration at something. She went up to the rail and looked up at the moon. "You know, you're not even full yet, why am I so restless?"

A bell sound soon interrupted her thoughts. She turned back into the suite and yelled, "Come in!" The same maid came in and took the dishes, but saw that it hadn't been touched.

The maid asked, "Have you not eaten?"

"You can take it. I'm not hungry. Sorry. I wasted food." She didn't know they would bring in food without her asking. And when she tried, she didn't have an appetite. 

The maid took the food away. Outside the hall, the same hooded cloak guard waited beside the door only to see that she hadn't touched the dishes. He looked through the door and saw her solitary figure out there all alone.