Seirei no Moribito

I loved her.

Red eyes burning like a sunset, stunning silver hair dispersed in a snowfield.

And a rambling tone and a strong grin.

For the first time since I lost them, I realized that all of them were important to me.

... come on in, you're touching me, and that's why I'm made to feel distorted.

A corner of the forest, hidden by the “spiritual art” of the “light attribute” I put up.

There's an out-of-season snow scenery.

As if he had cut off the winter season and stopped time, the wind that pushed him over was cold, his feet covered with deep snow, and the trees were dyed brown,

"... Long time no see, Chris"

She sleeps in that place covered by frozen bright red roses.

Red coloured cheeks by the cold, slightly reddish lips, beautiful silver hair shaken by the current...... one thing remains the same as it was back then, figure.

... where she is, in a frozen fountain.

Only the surface freezes, and clear ice makes her figure float through the sun's rays. … If a third party sees this, what will it say?

If you're Eve, I'm sure you'll give her eternal sleep this time after you hit me.

And if Al and the others see it... will you pity me? Or do you see me as a lunatic?

... No cursing noise of any kind will strike my mind.

I don't think this is the wrong thing to do.

She - Chris, her heart is dead.

It was that winter day that cut me off. We were ambushed. We were destroyed by the Guardian.

I've been tortured.

Chris was broken in spirit by the atrocities committed in front of him.

Shu punched him in the head and brainwashed him on top.

And Eve hurt herself to avoid sacrificing herself.

Survived, all of them.

The only time I could get back to normal - Eve, there's just one.

Chris goes without saying, Shu lost his memory and became a 'Knights' handkerchief, and I was sane and crazy.

What is righteous and what is evil?

I started saying I don't understand, and this is the hang-up. Most of all, there were quite a few things I didn't understand before that.

... Hardly recovering my disconnected self, I was buried in the snow in that snowfield with Chris.

I crawled up desperately moving my phantom painful arm and ran off to this place with Chris in my arms.

Run, and Chris opens his eyes... there was no such thing as a heart.

No matter how many times I called, or cried like an idiot... Chris didn't respond.

Even if the flesh was alive, the spirit was dead... if I went to that state, it would be a situation where I could be so sure that one woman named Chris was dead.

But I couldn't kill her.

My hand with the dagger trembled, I couldn't stop crying on my own, my chest was bitter... and I realized that I loved her.

If this was Eve or Shu... I would have been able to kill him, no matter what I grieved about.

But she was the only one who couldn't kill me.

... I can't kill you because I love you.

I don't understand such emotions... you can't say anymore.

I kill because I love you, and I can't kill because I love you.

In my case, it was the latter.

Couldn't kill her, I put her to sleep with the "magic" of my mental system, where my body was completely regenerated, creative to keep her from dying, and then sank her into the fountain.

As time brings back her heart one day...... such a wish.

Cut the scenery, cover the corner with "spiritual art" and cover the surrounding area with the red rose she liked... I asked myself what the hell I was doing and found out she was hoping to wake up as Chris again.

... I thought I had no connection for the rest of my life. Love someone and do it for others… I once knew the act of ridiculing myself.

So I went back to my routine.

... No, you still had it.

Chris died and it was Eve who gave him a permanent sleep. … it's not wrong.

So why is she alive and Eve alive again... I know the answer to that question.

But I guess that's something you shouldn't even talk about yourself. Even though I knew that the fact was something to be avoided... I thought the fact was trivial myself.

There's only one thing I can say… we're stupid, sinful, pathetic “people” everywhere.

We're supposed to be dead, and that's something that even Gloeidin, reflecting the 'Elves'... didn't anticipate, I guess.

But I appreciate it.

I'm a “traitor” who lies to Eve and secretly keeps her alive.

That's why I'm acting like I'm on their side, because we've been stupid and pathetic everywhere.

I'm... weaker than anyone.

Once the budding emotion turns to despair, I will cut my throat instantly.

While losing him, Gloeidin found meaning in living.

Eve, who, over and over again, vows allegiance just to the pipe.

And lost his beloved in front of him, “The Witch".

I can't be as strong as them. If Chris had died... I would have died in despair.

That's a little lonely... just a little sad.

If you're going to die, with someone else.

All I had from the beginning was loneliness.

That's why I was afraid of being rebelled or rejected.

I'm sure my brother would have spotted me like that. That's why I was conflicted.

... Does the word similiar fit with each other?

Add another new red rose to the frozen red rose, and I reach out softly.

Cold ice also seems to represent the distance between me and Chris' heart, and at the same time, I feel like one of them is already dead.

"... Chris. I love you."

But I'm not going to push this love or share it.

This is my own selfish wish to act.

If you really think of her, you should save her by killing her, not by placing her in stupid hope.

Once you lose your heart, you'll never get it back. That is exactly the same thing as not bringing the dead back to life.

Even so, I...

"... I'm guilty. Chris, next to you, I don't deserve to stand..."

Instead of deepening the distance because we don't understand it, we take the distance because we don't understand each other for the rest of our lives.

For that reason, I did not break my manners towards anyone else, and after Chris died... I even distanced myself from understanding.

Even I had a heart.

If you're sad, you cry, if you enjoy it, you laugh... your hometown has worn out such a heart.

I'm weak, cowardly, lonely.

One is scared, one is lonely.

So I lost my brother without either of us, and I got Chris involved.

… more sinful is that you do not regret this choice.

Oh, I can't save anywhere...... I'm a fool, I am.

"Chris, if you look at me now, what the hell do you think? Do you laugh if it doesn't seem like it? Do you get angry that you don't do anything stupid?... can you reach out gently that I have a heart too?

None of that, I don't know the answer.... for the rest of my life, I can't find it.

But that's fine.

This is just an excuse for me to be self-satisfied... and make a reason to live somehow.

Yeah, I'm not going to die yet.

I...,

"... I'll come again. No, again, can I come, Chris...?

Why do I love Chris?

I don't understand that emotion and I don't want to understand it.

I'm a doll in the form of a lost heart.

If I understood, I would go back to being human, wouldn't I?

... If I go back to being a human, I have to kill Chris.

I don't want to... I don't want to.