Seizing Dreams

Translated by: DMlations/Zryuu
Edited by: Amelea, FistFullOfDollars and Juurensha 

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After he sneezed, Yu Hao rubbed his nose and didn’t ask any more questions. He laid on his bed, took his phone, and scrolled through it for a while.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“I’m happy for you.” Yu Hao said, “It’s pretty good.”

“What’re you happy about?” Zhou Sheng said coldly, “Happy that I went out with her?”

“Zhou Sheng.” Yu Hao took the initiative and said, “This is pretty good. We can find some way another day to deal with Medusa together……”

“Can you shut up?” Zhou Sheng’s voice still sounded cold and indifferent, “Since you’re sick, just lie down quietly, will you?”

Yu Hao, “General, I don’t want to avoid this problem anymore……”

Zhou Sheng suddenly got up, kicked open the balcony door with one foot, then pushed open the windows twice in a row. The roars of the rainstorm immediately surged in. 

“Can’t we communicate properly?” Yu Hao shouted.

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Zhou Sheng ignored him and sat down in front of the induction cooker. At that moment, Yu Hao really wanted to just take something to throw at his head. He thought, this is one of the reasons why you can’t beat Medusa to death. However, when he thought of this, Yu Hao felt that it was as it should be and couldn’t help but find it amusing himself.

They were reluctant to communicate because of avoiding their own feelings, but communication was necessary to solve this problem……and thus they were stuck in a never ending loop.

Yu Hao looked at Zhou Sheng and suddenly felt his heart deeply ache. 

He hoped that Zhou Sheng could live well, and as long as he was happy, Yu Hao didn’t need anything else. Zhou Sheng should live the life he deserved, marry a beautiful girl, inherit his father’s business, and have an obedient daughter.

At this moment, Yu Hao truly felt how much he really loved him.

When he thought of this, Yu Hao suddenly recalled Liu Pengxuan. He was surprised to discover that his affection for Zhou Sheng had already surpassed everything else. He even liked him to the point that he was willing to give up on Zhou Sheng of his own accord, thinking only of his happiness.

“You really don’t need to be concerned about me.” Yu Hao said amidst rain that seemed to encompass the world, “By the time you think that you can come to like Jinya, I’ll be able to take good care of myself. Zhou Sheng, we’ll be friends for a lifetime, just like with Gege.” 

But the rain was so deafening that he wasn’t sure if Zhou Sheng had heard him or not. Maybe he had heard some fragmented words, or maybe he hadn’t. Yu Hao wanted to continue, but Zhou Sheng poured the ginger soup into a cup, got up, and handed it to him.

“Don’t spill it on the bed!” Zhou Sheng said impatiently in a loud voice.

Yu Hao took the cup and looked at Zhou Sheng, startled. Murderous intent was evident on Zhou Sheng’s face. It was the first time Yu Hao had seen Zhou Sheng show this kind of expression, which seemed to carry an inkling of  dislike.

“What’s wrong?” Yu Hao asked.  

“Drink it!” Zhou Sheng said.

Yu Hao wanted to say something else, but Zhou Sheng closed the windows, and the dormitory instantly quieted.

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“Yu Hao, I’m going to get angry.” Zhou Sheng said, “Because of you.” 

Yu Hao could only drink the ginger soup. Zhou Sheng, who looked like his anger was exploding, went to the induction cooker to drink the rest of the soup, tidied up, took Yu Hao’s cup, then turned around and left the dormitory.

“Where are you going?” Yu Hao asked.

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Zhou Sheng didn’t answer him. Yu Hao continued, “Take an umbrella! Zhou Sheng!”

At 6 o’clock in the morning, Zhou Sheng left the dormitory. Yu Hao sneezed again. He felt dizzy, and his head was beginning to ache. He wanted to send Zhou Sheng a message; he had already written a huge chunk of text, but he deleted it all. He eventually threw his phone aside and closed his eyes. 

I’ll sleep a bit first ba, Yu Hao thought.

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“Yu Hao?” Fu Liqun’s voice rang out beside his ear.

Yu Hao didn’t know how long he had slept for, and he was feeling groggy. Fu Liqun said, “How did you catch a cold??” 

Yu Hao sat up. Fu Liqun was carrying a sports bag and hadn’t even put down his luggage yet. He shook Yu Hao awake and asked, “Do you want to have some porridge?”

Yu Hao got off the bed and looked a little pale. He asked, “What time is it?”

“It’s already 2 o’clock.” Fu Liqun answered, “2 o’clock in the afternoon.

The rain had stopped, and the dormitory was extremely stuffy. Fu Liqun didn’t dare to turn on the electric fan, and handed Yu Hao a sandwich. 

Yu Hao felt like something was clattering in his head, and he was very hungry. Fu Liqun twisted the cap off of a bottle for him to drink and placed an assortment of snacks on the table.

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“Eat this.” Fu Liqun said, “Your sis-in-law got this Shiroi Koibito for you.”

Yu Hao was extremely exhausted. Fu Liqun lowered his head to text and said, “Young Master said that there’s porridge in the rice cooker. Let’s have some porridge ba.”

“I’ll just eat this……” Yu Hao said, “My head hurts so bad, did Zhou Sheng come back?” 

“He bought medicine.” Fu Liqun said, “And asked me to bring it over. I just met him at the college gate……yothere’s even salted duck eggs.”

“Don’t tell him I fell sick.” Yu Hao answered. When he saw the porridge Zhou Sheng made, he did want to eat it, and it was still piping hot too. It seemed like he had come back once in the morning to cook the porridge? Yu Hao really couldn’t resist the temptation to eat, so he went to get a bowl with Fu Liqun to eat porridge.

“Was Japan fun?” 

Fu Liqun smiled, “I’ll show you the pictures tomorrow. Are you still going tomorrow?”

“I’ll go.” Yu Hao said, “I don’t have a fever. After I take a pill and sleep, I’ll be fine.”

Yu Hao has always had a very tenacious body; he could endure illnesses just by drinking some hot water. Still, since he had agreed to go to the amusement park with everyone tomorrow, he’ll have some medicine to be on the safe side ba.

“We’ll see and decide again tomorrow morning?” Fu Liqun said, “The tickets aren’t booked yet, and we’re worried that it might rain again tomorrow.” As he spoke, he tore the packaging of the cold medicine for Yu Hao to take. After Yu Hao took his medicine, he felt weak so he went back to his bed to lay down. He took his phone out and wanted to text Zhou Sheng to ask about his whereabouts, but he saw that Zhou Sheng had sent him a few voice messages to ask if he had eaten, and that he had asked Fu Liqun to take the medicine back. He had something to do outside today, so he would only be back in the evening and asked Yu Hao and Fu Liqun to wait for him to have dinner together. 

Zhou Sheng was quick to anger and cool off; he had returned to normal within just a few hours. Yu Hao was about to reply to him when Ou Qihang’s message came.

【Are you free, Gege?】Ou Qihang sent a message to Yu Hao,【Our General Assembly just ended. Security isn’t that tight today, so I can still sneak out. I’ll go over later to find you?】

Yu Hao replied to him. He took out his Rubik’s cube, remembering that Zhou Sheng wanted him to return it to Ou Qihang, and thought that this guy always has such a strong desire for control. Hopefully it would improve after he got together with Huang Jinya ba; Zhou Sheng can’t always interfere with his affairs while he himself was dating? 

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Yu Hao arranged to meet up with Ou Qihang. Fu Liqun was watching a show and reminded him, “Wear more clothes, it’s cold outside.”

Yu Hao responded with an “un” and put on a jacket before going downstairs. Fu Liqun continued, “I’ll order a pizza for dinner tonight, I finally have money now hehehe.”

Yu Hao said, “Order a large one, Zhou Sheng’s coming back for dinner too.”

Ou Qihang had one foot on his bicycle as he looked around below the female dormitory buildings. Ou Qihang quickly looked back when Yu Hao called out to him. He wasn’t wearing his school uniform today and was instead wearing a printed white T-shirt and black shorts like Yu Hao.

“Why are you looking around below the female dorms?” Yu Hao found it amusing and threw the Rubik’s cube to him.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Ou Qihang caught the Rubik’s cube and was a little embarrassed, “I was looking for your dorm. What’s up? Why return this to me?”

“I just wanted to.” Yu Hao said, “There’s no ‘why’.” 

Ou Qihang observed Yu Hao for awhile, and eventually nodded, “Oh.”

There seemed to be slight disappointment in his eyes, and Yu Hao felt a little guilty for some reason.

Ou Qihang put away the Rubik’s cube into his bag and asked, “Did you catch a cold? Your nose is stuffy.”

“A little.” Yu Hao said, “I still have something on tonight, so go back ba. Study hard, you’re in your third year, don’t always think about unimportant things.” 

Ou Qihang said, “You’re overthinking it, you even think that I like you.” Then he suddenly laughed.

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Yu Hao said, “It would be for the best if you don’t, I’m afraid I’d harm you.”

“Harm me in what way?” Ou Qihang shrugged and walked to one side. He surveyed the surroundings and chose a place outside the bamboo forest where there were less people around to sit at. He smirked, “Afraid that if I like you, I wouldn’t be able to focus on studying?”

Yu Hao didn’t know if he should cry or laugh, “It’s fine if you just had those hidden notions, why expose them? It’s so awkward.” 

“I don’t feel awkward.” Ou Qihang smiled, “The one who has hidden notions is the one who’ll feel embarrassed.” 

Yu Hao had taken cold medicine. He felt discomfort throughout his entire body, and he was in a bad mood, so even his words sounded a little impolite. He sat down beside Ou Qihang.

Ou Qihang said, “Do you have a boyfriend? Your boyfriend’s jealous? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Yu Hao said.

Ou Qihang said, “You don’t? There must be a lot of people who like you ba?”

The cold medicine made Yu Hao feel a bit muddle-headed. In a daze, he stared at the puddles that reflected the clouds in the sky.

“No.” Yu Hao shook his head, “Actually, I’m pretty lonely.” As he spoke, he looked sideways at Ou Qihang and said, “But everyone is destined to be alone from birth to death.”

“That’s what my Dad said too.” Ou Qihang answered.

Yu Hao wanted to return to the dormitory. He didn’t want to talk to Ou Qihang for too long. After all, he had just started his third year; his life still has many possibilities, so Yu Hao couldn’t hold him back. Even if Zhou Sheng hadn’t eaten this unfathomable vinegar, Yu Hao would still have made his attitude clear, just in case this kid really does like him. It would affect his third year studies if he kept sneaking out to find Yu Hao.

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Yu Hao said once again, “What do you want to talk about with me? Go back after you say it ba.” 

Ou Qihang said, “Just wanted to talk to you, we can talk about anything.”

Yu Hao said, “Do your parents know?”

“My Dad’s dead.” Ou Qihang said, “My Mum doesn’t know I’m gay. I don’t dare tell her, I’m afraid she’ll collapse.

When Yu Hao saw Ou Qihang bravely step forward to stop that old man on the subway yesterday, he had already thought that this kid must have been brought up well, and that his parents must both be honest people. He didn’t expect Ou Qihang to say something like this unbidden. 

Yu Hao didn’t know how to comfort him for a moment, and could only say, “My Dad passed away too, when I was very young.”

“Was your Dad a cop?” A bright idea suddenly struck Yu Hao. He vaguely guessed based on his impressions, but his conjecture was quickly proven to be wrong.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“No, my Dad jumped off a building last winter and killed himself.” Ou Qihang smiled, “He was being investigated by the CCDI.” 

Yu Hao fell silent for a while, then nodded at Ou Qihang. 

“This topic is too heavy.” Ou Qihang was a little embarrassed, “Let’s not talk about that. I’m not trying to pretend to be pitiful so that you’ll like me more.”

“No, no.” Yu Hao quickly said, “I never thought that way at all.”

Ou Qihang said, “I feel like I need some psychological counselling.” 

Yu Hao said, “I don’t have a license, so I can’t be your counsellor. Qihang, do you feel like you’re under a lot of pressure?”

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Yu Hao vaguely felt that what Ou Qihang needed wasn’t a relationship with him, but someone he could pour his heart out to. Someone who had nothing to do with his social circle, was neither a teacher nor a classmate, and not a relative or friend. He needed a stranger who knew nothing about him and wouldn’t be too concerned about him, but would be willing to lend him a listening ear.

It was just like when he was in his third year of senior high. He really wanted to make a friend outside of school, a person whom he could bombard with all the troubles he faced in his life. There must be a reason why his father was investigated by the CCDI, and there must have been a reason for his suicide……not too long ago, Yu Hao saw a report on how officials jumped off buildings to commit suicide because they were “suffering from depression” while he was translating articles.

The reality was that most of the officials investigated didn’t suffer from depression, or at least not to the extent that they would want to commit suicide. Their suicides were really because there were too many implications behind the investigation; officials protected one another, and their network of power was extremely extensive. As soon as they couldn’t endure the investigation, they would have to sell out even more people. Many offending officials thought that compared to having all these links get ferreted out one by one, it was better to commit suicide and just end everything once and for all. In this way, their wives and children would at least be properly cared for. 

Yu Hao turned around and sat with one foot on the side of the bench, facing Ou Qihang.

“But if you have anything you want to say, you can say it to me.” Yu Hao said, “I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”

“What’s there to say?” Ou Qihang smiled, his eyes glimmering. He lowered his head and took out a pack of cigarettes, then asked, “Do you smoke?”

Yu Hao waved his hand. Ou Qihang lit one. He wanted to say something, but held himself back, and in the end, he changed his mind. 

“I’d better go back ba.” Ou Qihang said.

Yu Hao frowned slightly, but he didn’t urge him to stay and said, “Okay then. Qihang, I have a friend — who’s also a teacher — who said this to me.”

Ou Qihang’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“The world is much bigger than you think. Once you leave college and enter society, I believe that you’ll meet someone who likes you, who you will also like in return. This path is very difficult, but it’s not as difficult as you imagine it to be. The important thing is, you definitely shouldn’t torture yourself.” Yu Hao said, “Finish your third year, and your world will see the light.” 

Ou Qihang fell silent. Just as he was about to speak, a voice rang out beside him.

“Handsome boy over there, lend me a light?”

Yu Hao, “……”

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Zhou Sheng had a cigarette in his mouth. No one knew when he had returned. There were band aids on his right index and middle fingers.