Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

Bokuboy

When Jubadi and I showed up at Stark Tower, Jarvis started talking about different additions to his new core processors and I chuckled the entire time we rode up in the elevator. The inventory parts had checked out and I immediately went to work. His thoughts on improvements were easily added, since I was working on his core processing node.

I worked for a solid three hours and we were both happy with how it turned out. With the new adaptations, expanding and adding more modules would be downright easy, as if it was an actual server farm. More parts would arrive during the week and I would need to spend an hour or two each evening before bed putting Jarvis together.

Thanks to the specs we had taken from the LMD project, we modified them to include enhanced strength and durability. Only having human level strength in an android was the stupidest thing the both of us had ever heard of, which meant a massive enhancement of the superstructure and joints to handle massive loads.

We also included some of Tony's original armor design to give Jarvis the 'bones' to move. It was a thing of beauty, because Tony's personal manufacturing plant handled the main parts for us. All we had to do was assemble them when it was time.

Of course, I built two backups that could be nestled in the chest and the lower back. They weren't strictly necessary, because Jarvis would be connected wirelessly at all times to his main server. The body would only be an extension of him, so if it was ever somehow disconnected, it would operate in autonomous mode until it regained contact.

Jubadi and I left Stark Tower when I was done and we went home to meet with May. We cooked a nice meal together and Jubadi was attentive and learned what she could, before she promised to learn more. Both May and I laughed, because we were still learning as well. We weren't experts at all and just learned as we went.

Most things worked out and we all enjoyed it, while some were abandoned with extreme prejudice. No, we are never talking about the custard again, even if May still laughed her ass off whenever it was mentioned. Why did she have to enjoy my embarrassment and pain so much? Oh, right. She was my mom. It was her god-given right to do so.

It made her laugh harder when I told her that, which was why I said it.

The three of us relaxed on the couch, even though Jubadi normally tried to hang back to stay out of the way. May wasn't having that and invited her to sit on my other side. Jubadi did so reluctantly, then we watched one of May's favorite movies and she was enamoured with it.

By the time it was half over, both she and May were cuddled under my arms and were quite happy to be there. When it finished, Jubadi gave May an approving nod and told her that her taste in entertainment would be well received back in Wakanda.

Needless to say, a thousand copies of the movie and appropriate movie players were added to the next relief shipment that would be sent to Wakanda next week.

After I carried a pleased May to bed, Jubadi scooped me up in her arms to make May laugh. She carried me into my room and we had a bit of slap and tickle before I settled down to study my ass off for several hours. I had a lot of work to do at school to earn the extra credits I would need to pass the year and then the school's full course curriculum to graduate.

I really needed to thank Mary the receptionist for allowing me to do it, too. I also had to visit Gladys in the library, because it had been well over a week since I had last been in there. I closed the books and set aside the workbooks that were necessary to teach me what questions would most likely be asked on the course finals. They were a godsend and I wasn't sure what else I could do to thank Gladys, besides what I had already done for her.

I went to bed and cuddled Jubadi close as I tried to fall asleep. Just as I was about to drift off, my phone beeped at me and I checked it to see that I was ordered in to work the next morning. I responded with an affirmative and put the phone back on my nightstand. I was sure that tomorrow was going to be an eye opener at work, even though I didn't know why I thought that.

The next morning was an early one, because at five in the morning had myself at Central Park Rink to meet Kate Bishop and we trained for an hour and a half. By the time Kate was done trying to run me into the ground with different exercises, she admitted that I wasn't a total waste of her time. I hid my laugh by coughing and she smacked my arm before she told me to get lost.

Jubadi and I made it home in plenty of time to have another shared meal with Shuri and May. It was almost funny how quickly it had become normal to have such a weirdly combined meal with Shuri's image on the television, with her cell phone propped where she would have sat at the table and with us around the table. We talked to her as if she was really there and she looked quite happy about that.

I signed off with her, saw May off to work, and then I dressed in a nice suit before I left the apartment with Jubadi. She grumbled about the hat until I told her to lift the side to let her cuddle in close. She was more than happy about that and we waited for the bus to take us to work.

Almost as soon as I stepped inside the office building where I worked, I was handed a note and it said to report to the Deputy Director's office. I kind of thought that was redundant, considering Maria always overrode the elevator when she wanted to see me anyway. Jubadi and I stepped inside and the elevator rose up to the top floor.

When the doors opened, it wasn't Maria that stood there. Nope. It was someone I never thought I would meet. Just as I thought that, my spider-sense started to tingle.

As if she felt me staring at her, the woman that was surrounded by agents trying to calm her down turned to stare back at me. “YOU!”

The agents scattered as the seven foot tall green skinned muscular goddess stalked over to me. I held a hand up briefly to stop Jubadi from stepping forward and I ignored the increased tingling of my spider-sense. I stood my ground as the very large woman came right up to me and invaded my personal space.

She came to a stop right in front of me to loom and glare at me. The jumpsuit she wore wasn't flattering in the least. “I hear that you're the asshole I need to thank for this!” She spat at me.

I looked way, way up at her face and smiled at her. “You are quite welcome, Power Woman.”

She blinked her eyes at me. “What... what did you call me?”

“Power Woman.” I said and kept the smile on my face. “I sincerely hope you didn't let them give you a code name like She-Hulk or something else that's immediately derogatory and defaming. The Hulk has more bad press than the Abomination and you don't need that marked against you before you even make a debut as a hero.”

Her face flushed to a darker green. “I... I didn't know I had a choice.”

I took out my cell phone and used the computer department head's access code to enter the secured records. I did a blanket search for She-Hulk and replaced every instance with Power Woman. I showed her the alterations and she smiled at me.

“Thank you, Agent Parker.” The now named Power Woman said.

“You're welcome.” I said and put my phone away. “So, are we gonna have sex now or later?”

Power Woman blinked her eyes at me and confusion showed on her face. “Excuse me?”

“You don't seriously think I'm going to let the biggest and sexiest woman on the planet out of my sight before I make her scream with delight, do you?”

Power Woman opened and closed her mouth several times. “Did you just sexually proposition me in the workplace, in clear violation of both workplace etiquette and common sense?”

I caught my breath and then sighed. “Dammit, Penis Parker!” I said and slapped myself on my erection. “Now I have to go to HR and report you!”

Power Woman looked down at where I slapped myself and saw that I actually was erect. “You were serious?”

I nodded and looked at Jubadi. “You can wait in Maria's office for the next hour or so. I'm probably going to be a while talking to Gail, so let Maria know.”

Jubadi nodded and went to the office.

I took Power Woman's hand and she didn't stop me as I took her into the elevator. “I sincerely apologize for what I said. I've spent some time in a culture where some of the strongest women would be insulted if you weren't honest with them about being attracted to them.”

She gave me a pointed look and then glanced at our clasped hands.

“I like holding hands.” I said with a shrug and she raised her eyebrows at me. “No, it doesn't matter if you can crush my fingers like toothpicks. I've been in a similar situation before and I don't mind risking life and limb for a chance to be closer to someone so awesome.”

Power Woman looked surprised and didn't comment as the elevator came to a stop. I led her out and down the hallway and right into the HR department. Two of the women there let out laughs when they saw me and the green giantess.

“Hanna and Jill, this is Power Woman.” I said and they greeted her. “Is Gail free? I made another boo boo.”

“Go right in.” Hanna said and waved me forward. “You really keep shooting high, don't you?”

I chuckled. “She's seven feet of green deliciousness and I couldn't resist.” I said to make them laugh and Power Woman's face flushed a darker green. I led her over to Gail's door and knocked before I led Power Woman inside.

“Oh, for fuck's sake.” Gail groaned when she saw us and slapped a hand over her face.

“Yep. I'm sorry.” I said and waved for Power Woman to sit. When she did, I shamelessly climbed onto her lap and put my arms around her neck. Her arms seemed to go around me automatically to hold me.

“Aren't you engaged to be married?” Gail asked.

“Betrothed to be married in four years.” I corrected and looked at Power Woman's face to see her surprise. “There are exceptions that I negotiated with Shuri to ensure that I didn't violate the agreement.” I said and smiled at her. “A seven foot tall green goddess is definitely a valid exception.”

“Oh, god.” Gail said and rubbed her face. “Ben stop talking! You're making this a whole lot worse than you think you are.”

“Possibly.” I said and looked deep into Power Woman's eyes. “Would you be willing to sign a mutual combat and defense contract and possibly a child bearing contract that will give any possible children between us dual citizenship with the U.S. And Wakanda?”

Power Woman's mouth dropped open and she stared at me.

“I'm willing to pay an annual salary of $100,000 and will provide a full wardrobe in this size. I will also hire your civilian identity for my company Parker Incorporated and can keep you on retainer for $500,000 a year, tax free.” I clarified for her.

“DEAL!” Power Woman exclaimed.

“Ben!” Gail gasped. “You can't just hire future agents out from under us like that!”

I chuckled again. “Please, Gail. I'm not that short-sighted. My offer is in addition to her working for SHIELD.” I said and nodded at her desk. “Can you start the paperwork for verbal assault and work out my punishment for breach of trust and workplace hostility?”

Gail nodded and took out several forms to do just that.

Power Woman's hands around me tightened and she held me close. “Why are you doing this?”

“I really need to get a handle on my tendency to not think before speaking.” I said and turned in her lap to look into her eyes again. “I really should have asked to talk to you in private and then made my offer. I also shouldn't have been so crass about it. I sincerely apologize for that and I didn't mean to insult you or to make you feel uncomfortable.”

She looked deep into my eyes. “You really mean that.”

“I do.” I said and reached up to pause with my hand an inch from her face. “May I?”

Power Woman nodded and I rested my hand against her cheek and then lightly caressed the skin.

“I know it was way too forward and I'm sorry about that. I've had it drilled into my head to never let a wonderful opportunity pass me by. When I saw you in the hallway...” I glanced down at my lap. “...I reacted without consideration of exactly where I was at the time.”

Power Woman's hand touched my chin and lifted it to lock eyes with me again. “Is it because I'm someone you've never met before, because of how I look, or the danger I represent?”

“Yes.” I said and smiled. “I know for a fact that all hulking out does is enhance what's already there, so I know that in either form, you're going to look spectacular.”

Power Woman's face flushed to a darker green again.

“You're also super strong.” I said and my hand went to her arm and rubbed it to feel the muscles under the jumpsuit. “I would be happy to help you learn how to control your strength.” I whispered and wagged my eyebrows at her.

Power Woman gave me a surprised look and then let out a rumbling chuckle.

“I'll add sexual innuendo to the charges.” Gail said.

“Thanks.” I said and smiled at Power Woman. “I'll have the contracts delivered as soon as...”

There was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal Hanna. “These documents just came in and I printed them off for you.” She said and handed the papers to me.

“Thanks Hanna.” I said and plucked a pen from Gail's desk. “I suggest signing these with both of your identities, Power Woman. Just in case.”

She looked at Hanna and the woman nodded and left. I stood up from her lap and let her read the contracts as I took out my cellphone and sent a text to Jarvis to thank him. She signed both contracts as Power Woman before she shrunk down to her normal size and signed both of them as Jennifer Walters.

“I think you're crazy for doing this.” Jennifer said and handed me both contracts. “There's no provision in there for us to actually have sex or for me to bear children.”

“You say that now.” I whispered and folded the contracts up to put into my inside breast pocket, then I sat down on her normal lap, to her surprise. “Wait until I make you some titanium boots to stomp through cars like tissue paper and armored gauntlets that will let you punch through six inches of steel without tearing up your knuckles. Oh, and an expanding shield for both arms, too.”

Jennifer stared at me and still looked surprised.

“They will be collapsible as well, so you can wear the bracelets and anklets in either form.” I said. “No one will know you have such great protection until they attack you.”

Jennifer looked at Gail for a moment. “Close your eyes for a second.”

Gail gave her an incredulous look for a moment, then sighed and closed her eyes. “Go ahead.”

Jennifer nodded and pulled me close to give me a passionate kiss.

I wasn't going to disappoint her and gave her some of my best moves. She responded in kind and her hand went to my erection to see that it was still there and hadn't gone away. She slowly grew to her hulk form and neither her hand movements nor her kissing stopped for almost thirty seconds.

“Ahem.” Gail fake coughed and we broke the kiss. “This development doesn't mitigate what happened.”

“No, it doesn't.” I said. “What can I expect as a punishment?”

“Probably a two week suspension without pay and a corrective course on workplace behaviour.” Gail said. “There's also a mark in your employment record.”

I nodded. “Those are all reasonable punishments. Thanks for not throwing the book at me, Gail.”

Gail nodded back. “I had to give you some leeway, just because of how some things have been handled around here.”

“How is Sharon, by the way?”

“She hates being the secretary for the mayor.” Gail said with a smile. “It was the best assignment I could get her.”

“The best. Got it.” I said with a chuckle, knowing she meant it was actually the worst. “I'll pop by in the morning with some breakfast bagels for you and the girls.”

“Thanks, Ben.” Gail said and handed us each a copy of the filed report. “Bad, Ben! Bad!”

Power Woman let out a rumbling chuckle at the admonishment. “I think I'm actually going to like working here.”

“You say that now.” I said and hopped off of her lap. “They have to put Jennifer through basic and then they'll put you through it.”

“What? Why?” Power Woman asked and stood up.

“Baseline to compare your powered up state to.” I said and took her hand. “Let's go. We have a Deputy Director to annoy. I mean meet.”

Gail groaned behind us. “I'm gone for the day, so don't come back if anything happens!”

That made Power Woman and I laugh as we left her office. I waved to Hanna and Jill and we left HR to go back up to the top floor of the building. We really did have a meeting with Maria to get to. Power Woman for her orientation speech and introduction and myself for another chewing out for how I acted the last time I had been at work. Or because I flew across the country without asking for permission.

In either case, I expected Maria to be upset that I was going to be off for another two weeks.