Senpensekai no Madoushoshi

Atashi is dreaming now.

It's a dream of sleeping in a fallen tree sinus holding a thin, dirty tail of my own.

But Atashi in his dreams wakes it from his dreams without realizing it as a dream, and starts walking quietly through the woods, suppressing his stomach complaining of hunger.

It's been a long time since I've had this dream. For a long time, this past was dusty in Atashi's head.

By now it's come to life that I'm probably...

"Hey there, you, in my garden, what are you doing?

Golden hair stretched to the shoulder. The person with green eyes that reminded me of the leaves that wore the morning dew - probably because I fell asleep thinking about Tosrilun F. Iriburg.

"Fu?

When Atashi woke up, there was a toslin in front of him. He brings a chair beside the bed and sits there with his feet together. Looks like I've been reading books all my life while Atashi's asleep. I'm gonna take that book in bed, and I'm gonna peek into the Atashi.

I'm not the same height, hair length, and finally chest size as my girlfriend in my dreams, but the color of my hair, the color of my eyes, and my name goes hand in hand.

"... hair, you've grown"

"What? What, all of a sudden..."

Toslin's hair is about hips now.

He also grew taller than he did then, and now he's taller enough to hurt his athlete's neck when he looks up.

When we met, it didn't make that much difference.

"... oh here... hospital bed..."

"What, are you okay? Is there any cloudiness in your memory?

What is it? I hope you don't use hard words like Saluena until Toslin. Atashi can't even read or write letters.

"... dreaming, I was dreaming"

"Ah... well, yes..."

After Atashi was admitted to this hospital, the night dawned.

I haven't spent the night away from Toslin in a long time.

I missed you, but in a way, I could say it helped.

Sleeping in the same bed in the same room or something is a little... tough right now.

……

……

……

"What kind of dream were you having?

Dreams... dreams... I wonder why Atashi said that. I remember when I pummeled the contents of the dream that Carbuncle showed me, and I wanted to bite off my tongue and die.

"Mm, old...... one. Toslin and the first time I met him, he..."

"Oh yeah...... How many years have I met you? What, like, ten years? I never thought we'd be together this long."

……

Atashi, that's not true.

Toslin and I were going to be together forever. So I strive to fill in the difference in stride that spreads from year to year, and Atashi is here now.

……

……

There is a bed with rosé next door across the partition curtains. I have Iris and Saluena over there right now, and they talk about something all the time.

On the other hand, there is no conversation between Atashi and Toslin.

Even so, as just now, it interrupts quickly, and a quiet time lies between Atashi and Toslin.

"Get well soon."

"I'm fine now. I'm just being forced into this place."

"Well, that's probably true... But sometimes, you know, just in case, right? Get some rest."

"... yeah"

Words float like bubbles and disappear, and they break off again. Nothing. That's not offensive or anything. Rather as comfortable as it sounds. What, but now we're kind of looking for words from each other.

We already know why that is.

They can't measure each other's distance.

I've exposed my dreams, since then.

... trouble.

I don't have anything to talk about.

I don't know what to do because I've never been with Carol before and I haven't had any trouble talking about it.

I wonder how the hell we've been having this conversation before?

I feel as if I feel uncomfortable walking, breathing, baffled and bewildered.

If they originally told me to get better even though I'm fine, then I'd have trouble with the words I'd give back. Even I knew it before I spoke. But I'm in a hurry to say something. Not really, the words were coming out with my mouth shut.

I can't measure my distance from Carol right now. Only such a sense of crisis and impatience is going to recruit, which is likely to escape if we get close to it.

"... ah..."

A church bell announcing the sunset can be heard through a glass window.

The meeting is set for the evening.

Already the Iries are waving at Rosé and trying to get out of the hospital room. I have to go home too......

"Oh, uh... see you tomorrow?

I called out horrible to Carol, who remained nagging. I kind of got a loose voice.

"Yeah, see you... tomorrow"

But it reached Carol's ear, and she replied.

For me it was a tremendous salvation, and most of the rush was fogged by that word alone.

The day I was hospitalized and the second night dawned. Atashi had been sorting out his feelings that morning.

And I thought about how far that feeling had been passed on to Toslin.

"Ugh..."

After thinking about it and thinking about it, I kind of got a fever. Fluffy head, boggling. Does it also have to do with the fact that I didn't get much sleep yesterday?

"What are you doing? You. I've never seen a guy get sick in a hospital before."

"... because..."

Mouth it that far and realize there's no way I can explain it. Apparently, Atashi's head is boiling like nothing can be done right now.

"... what the fuck?

……

Without being able to answer, Atashi put the sheets on his face.

"Really, you're a handy one, for a long time. Look, I'm gonna heat you up, so get the sheets out of the way."

Toslin's hand was mounted on Atashi's forehead.

"... cold..."

"Be patient."

"Ugh, not..."

"Ah?"

……

Toslin exhaled briefly as Atashi was unable to say anything.

"If you want me to, say so."

"... yeah, sorry"

Apologizing, Toslin's hand gently combed his hair.

I started stroking Carol's head, and it's been awhile.

The word that came out after thinking and thinking was' what are you doing ', which also sounded like blame.

Would you have made me feel bad? Or would I have been depressed?

"Phew..."

But then, suddenly, Carol laughed.

"Hey, why are you laughing? Is something wrong?

"Ugh, it's not..."

Carol still laughs.

He's completely hiding his face again with his sheets, bending over and laughing. If you stop that piece of shit, I'll urge you to stroke it.

I don't know what that means.

"... you're a weird guy"

But if you're laughing, that's fine. If I thought so, a grin seeped into my mouth, too.

That reminds me just a little bit.

All we had was this kind of conversation and exchange that didn't matter. And that's why they've been together for ten years without ever getting tired of it.

Also, church bells ring today.

If I looked up, a darker sunset was shooting in through the window than yesterday.

"See you tomorrow. The fever doesn't seem like a big deal, but just stay calm, okay?

"Yeah, okay"

Carol's reply sounded clearer than yesterday.

I was so happy with that.

- I also thought about it last night. Tell me what your feelings are and how far it is torn apart by Toslin.

I even thought about it while eating a meal with a thin flavour. I even talked to Rose about food preferences along the way, but spent most of my time thinking about it.

"Whew..."

And in the end, I came to the conclusion that it would be undisturbed.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."

"He even gave me the ring to Atashi... so Atashi, in two replies..."

The fact that I was just making excuses for falling asleep and dreaming about it like that proves Atashi's thoughts.

"Oh, ugh..."

"What is it today? Toddler regression?

You know how Atashi feels, and you keep turning a blind eye to it, Toslin...... I hate it. But it's better than being distanced at all.

"You come every day."

"What? Well... you're coming. You're in the hospital."

What's so obvious about this chick? Toslin said, looking at him like that.

"Yeah......"

But I was glad that you took it for granted, and Atashi would still nibble today.

"Apples, I want to eat"

"Hmm? Ah... there you go"

On top of the chest placed beside the bed were some fruits that Iris had bought for me. He must have cared because Atashi complained that the rice tasted thin. Really, Iris is a good one. I like it.

"... ha"

In exchange, Toslin doesn't care. When I grab the apple, I try to give it to Atashi as it is. Musty, he presses a gritty apple against his mouth.

What is it? I suppose you could be a little nicer because they're sick, too. Specifically, I want you to skin them, cut them apart, and feed them.

With such eyes, Toslin finally thought of the reason for the Buddha's top surface of the Atashi, and took out the knife and began to skin it.

"That knife, it's washing properly, isn't it?

"... of course"

Wasn't there anything disturbing right now?

"Look, it's bait."

"Wow."

He grabs one apple that Toslin cut, and brings it closer to his mouth. Atashi leaves it rolling asleep, twitching like a squirrel.

Shakushakushaku...... Oh, this is so sweet and delicious.

"Sounds like a squirrel."

"That's a compliment, isn't it?

"... oh, yeah"

There was another time.

"... well"

But I wasn't expecting him to snort, so I was a little confused.

Toslin has been so sweet the last few days.

Hospitalization may also be good once in a while.

When has it been the first time I've peeled an apple?

The knife was used this morning to butter the bread, but, well, you probably don't know. Oh, no... but this guy has a good nose, so he might be a little ripped off.

"Sounds like a squirrel."

I swelled one cheek and saw Carol scratching the apple and I thought so. But I regretted it right after I said it.

Because I felt like I was clouding the happiness I was feeling right now.

"That's a compliment, isn't it?

Carol lowers her brow butt and puts on her little neck. Rarely did I feel guilty, and after a little while, I nodded.

"... oh, yeah"

"... well"

This happiness is something you might not have gotten. It's something that could have been lost permanently on that altar at Nogrint St.

So I don't want to ruin it anymore.

"Yummy?

"Yeah, sweet and delicious"

In the end, all the apples I peeled off fit into Carol's tummy. I haven't had anything out of the hospital in a long time and it seems pleasant. Now I'm trying to narrow my eyes and sleep.

"You're finally discharged tomorrow."

"Right. I wanted to get out of the hospital immediately at first, but maybe I could stay a little longer with this."

"Huh, well"

... I don't like it. I don't want hospitalization to be prolonged any longer.

Because it's cold to sleep alone, and I miss you.

"... lying. I knew it, Atashi, I want to get out of the hospital soon."

That's what Carol said when she looked at me. The city of Sorletta, where dusk is approaching, is still stained red today. Its red light also shoots in through the window, and I wonder why, Carol's face also looks red tide.

"... even a small, sturdy bed would be better with Toslin"

"... yeah, right. Me too."

Wear a sheet to your mouth and bring your head closer to mine. You mean to stroke me again, like yesterday?

You're a cute guy, this guy.

"Speaking of which, what would you like to celebrate discharge?

That's what I heard as I stroked my sleeping head.

"Hmm... I don't need that"

I asked you because of this, did you say that? But I had some anticipation of this answer.

This guy has always been twice as obsessed with food as he is with people, but he shows little interest in anything else, no, not at all.

Even when I presented Amber's claw a long time ago, I kept poking hard. Did you comb your hair and tail like you do every day and make them receive it by teaching them how comfortable it is? Because of that, I get picked up quite often, but, well, that's good now.

"No, but you got something, right? Clothes, for example..."

I don't need it.

"You don't have to hesitate, do you?

"... don't hesitate, that's not it. Really, I just don't need it. If you need clothes or something to change, that's fine..."

Carol said that when she paid my hand, she looked kind of like she was going to cry. Long eyelashes are trembling. I know you don't want something, but where the hell does this stubbornness come from? Is there any reason?

We've been together a long time, but there's still a lot we don't know.

"... well, I wouldn't say it's impossible."

"Yeah......"

Carol snorted at it and shut up. The story runs out, and silence envelops us both again. But now, the silence is not bitter either.

Carol's finger peeking from the sheet. That got me on my knees. Next on the head, they want you to hold hands.

I don't want things, but it basically doesn't change where I'm starving. In this case...... what? Warm? Or......

"I like the view from here at this hour"

"Right."

So I kept holding that hand until the end of the visiting time.

The last meeting is over, and finally tomorrow is discharge day.

On the way home from the hospital. After breaking up with Iris and Saluena, I caught my eye on a shop on the road to the inn.

……

Carol said she didn't need anything. But I want to give it to you. That a miracle happened and Carol was saved. I want to do something to celebrate that.

That's why I walked into the store.