Should Have Let Me Die

"But, wait! You gave them the choice!" The dragon whined.

"They didn't drop me into a thirty-meter hole!" 

"In my defense, it did say not to stand there! Come on! Don't be such a hard ass! I can cook! Yes, I am a very good cook!"

"You're a dragon, I would like something other than burnt to a crisp to eat," I said, crossing my arms.

Kyra was giving me a tongue lashing about being a big old meanie, but I wanted my treasure before I accepted any more orphan monsters. Plus, this was a bone dragon, what was he going to turn back into? A skeleton? That might actually be funny.

"My husband is just being a tool, Mr. Dragon. Hyde! Quit torturing him with your boring question and let him in already!" Kyra called over the intercom.

Couldn't I shut that damn thing off? Was this not technically my body? I guess Kyra had technically turned me into her home, and that sounded cute if you didn't know what it actually meant.

"Better listen to her, she sounds like the boss!" The old dragon cackled, but I had already closed the distance.

A strong Bitch Slap of God was pretty funny, but I just gave him a good face-turning slap with my big metal hand. The reeling dragon burst with light and started to shrink down.

"Hyde!"

"Babe, if you keep this up, I am not going to take you places with me next time I go out. I love you, but let me deal with these problems out here. You can do what you like with them, but only after I deal with them, okay my little pussy cat?" I said so only she could hear.

"Don't talk dirty to me like that, I am a wolf, not a cat! You just don't need to be so mean to them," Kyra said, but I could see her tail twitching, and her cheek getting pink. 

I would have to make time for her later, but for now, I wanted to get through as much as we could in one day. I was barely even lunch, but I really hoped...oh yup, he is a walking pile of bones. Wow, I hope he can actually cook, but seriously, he was just all bones.

"Are you okay down there?" I asked the skeleton that was looking himself over. 

He jumped back and looked up at me when I spoke.

"Oh wow, you really are big! So, umm, what now?" 

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Jeeves."

"No, what's your real name."

The skeleton paused and then looked away.

"Phil," the skeleton said quietly, but thanks to a microphone in my feet I was able to hear him.

"Fine, Phil, I hope you are as good as you say you are. Go to the outside of my left foot and there should be a door, but one more thing before you get in. Where is the treasure?" I asked while squatting down to loom over him.

"Just keep going and knock down that hidden wall that's dark up ahead, can't miss it. The reward is on the other side, and don't worry if you can eat, then I will make you something good but you will have to catch it for me to cook!" Phil said, jumping and clicking his bone heels together before running to the outside of my left foot where the door had already been open.

I stood back up and let that weird feeling of the mouse up my pant leg pass, and I rolled my shoulders before getting going. I was starting to think it was turning out to be more of a dangerous hiking trip than an adventure through a dungeon frozen wasteland!

I probably shouldn't be complaining, the frozen trees were probably going to have something really meaningful. Plus, after that, it was going to be cloudy with a chance of angry Micro-Dwarves, so there were those two. 

I stepped forward, I had bolstered myself with faith that this dungeon wouldn't do me wrong with the treasure. I didn't really complete it properly so I might not get the full reward.

I punched the wall once and the entire section fell, but then disappeared. Only leave a large hole that I was able to crawl through.

On the other side, there was a large pedestal with a weird-looking ray gun looking thing with a blue and red spinning glass core. I didn't know what it was, but it looked pretty fucking cool, but it was tiny to me.

'Put your finger up to it and I will take it and do a scan of it and apply it to your suit.' -Eva.

Ooo, a raygun attachment! This sounded pretty dope, so I gently put one large finger up to the pedestal.

Little electronic arms folded out and grabbed the gun and pulled it inside of me.

'Scanning weapon...Heat Ray; it has no combat abilities, but it has unlimited uses. Installing into your palm and side of your feet, this will make it so you can at least melt snow.' -Eva.

Stupid fucking heat ray! More like summer day rays! What the hell? Now I was spring trying to walk through a snowstorm? 

Whatever, it was going to make it easier to walk, so it wasn't that bad. Plus, it wasn't like I needed help in the combat department. So, maybe this was the best thing for me? 

I blinked, I was in the cold again, and the snow seemed like it was coming down hard now. I looked down at my palms, and there looked to be a big gob of honey on each one. 

"Okay, let's try these out then Eva. Activate the Summer Day rays!" I called out to her, even though she could have heard me with a simple thought.

"Aye Aye, captain!" Eva called out over a speaker and I started to laugh as a bright orange light burst from my palms.