Should Have Let Me Die

4 years ago, June 28th, 2016, Kline Residence.

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I remember it being just after school was out, summer just started and my friends had come over with their console. The four of us sat in front of two tv's, I can't remember what the exact game was, but It was an overhead dungeon crawler and we networked to play together. I remember that moment now, but I didn't feel like it was the same person anymore. 

My three friends were all nerds, but they were cool because they still wanted to hang out with me. I was a hothead, and I was known for getting into fights that I started and finished. That was the reason my friends stayed around, I assumed, but now from the bird's eye view that I had, I saw something else.

All of us were having fun, like legit laughing and cheering playing that stupid game, but it wasn't stupid then. Something changed that made me stop caring about things like that, and that thing happened.

A loud thump and plates breaking came from above us and I heard my father cry out my mother's name as I heard the pounding of footsteps across the floor. Each step was like a hammer in my head, everyone went silent, and that I was frozen for only a heartbeat before running up the stairs.

Suddenly, I was looking over my mother and I was also standing, holding my mother's hand. My father was talking to the doctor, always a formal military man, he was wearing khaki pants and a black T-shirt and he was a mess. His tossed hair was a clear indication of how bad it was, but I already knew the end of this, but I had to watch and listen.

"Mr. Kline, Your wife, Candace is suffering from a rare brain stem glioma cancer that is normally only present in children from five to seven, but your wife's case has progressed to quite an advanced level. None of this is your fault, this is a very fast and aggressive cancer, I am truly sorry, Mr. Kline, but Candance will not wake up."

Memories started to slide by as slow frames. At the funeral, Dad was drunk and sat quietly, not saying a word, so I stayed the same. Then the next day when my friends tried to console me, but I just brushed them off, but that was when a bully decided that they were now easy pickings, grabbing one of my friends. 

That was the first time I had ever put up my hand, that day had been so heavy, but I hadn't cried. My reason for not breaking this kids face quickly dwindled and my hand closed into a fist. Then I was in the principal's office, two cops behind me, fists covered in blood. 

I had almost killed the kid and he would have permanent scarring on his face and everyone was waiting for my father to show up, but he didn't. Finally, the cops took me back home telling me I was not allowed on school property and gave me court papers, but walked me to my house. I walked in with them, and my father was passed out with an almost empty bottle of Jamison.

"My mom just died, please don't mind him. It all happened fast."

The cops were hesitant, but then they told me to make sure I was at the court date and left. Fast forward to three more schools of being kicked out, my father spiraling into deeper drunken depression.

Then, he died too.

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Present, 2 miles above the wagon train.

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Ya, that was the gist of it, life sucks then you die, right? I opened my eyes to the blue sky with the sun beating down on my skin, leaving me with a warm feeling. I was still floating high about the trailing wagon line, my cheeks were still wet from my earlier years, but I burned them off. That smash of the last two pathetic years of my father's existence was enough to sober anyone.

'Why, I didn't need to see that.'

'One day you will get it, Hyde. What happened to your parents wasn't your fault.' -Gripton.

'Really? My father didn't feel that way, he blamed our training with him being distracted from mom, missing the signs. After that, it was hard to be seen a disappointment that didn't act the part.'

'Just remember that you will enter many tunnels in your life, Hyde, but there is always a light on the other side; You can never make it to it if you give up and stop pressing forward. The only way to get out of the darkness is to keep pushing. Don't let that part of your life define you, this world deserves more than that.' -Gripton.

Letting it go? He had a point, but nothing is ever that easy. I can't just unfuck the last three years of my life.

'No, you can't. You don't need to; keep pushing forward to get away from the pain. That will turn into a nagging thought, then a memory, and in time, history. Hyde, I picked you because there is someone else under there hiding, that person was held back, but now you need to push forward for this world, your wives, and unborn children. Hyde, I hand the safety of the world to you. Then next time we talk. You had better be dragging Talon's virtual dead body. Good luck son, I have faith that you will change this world down to its very core and know I will be watching and helping when I can, Goodbye, Hyde.' -Gripton.

I felt him go; I had so much more I needed to say and ask...but Gripton was really gone. My best friend in this whole world and the one that dragged me here was gone. I was trying to swallow spit that wasn't in my mouth, and I was starting to have trouble getting my breath, but I slammed my will and focus back into place and took a deep breath. 

I wouldn't act like some lost child, that wouldn't be fair for the amount of time the god of the world had spent teaching me the ways and helping me get back to the place in my life. I would need to try and be more open and loosen up some, Gripton was right, I just needed to keep moving forward with the winds of change. 

Oh, and I was going to kill Talon.