Simmering Jams at the Edge of the Forest
Seventeen, Walter.
My mother's whereabouts are fixed at Meeserie's mansion. Kitchen, backyard fields, veranda rocking chairs.
So if I had avoided these three places and, more importantly, written a report that I would submit to a given guest, I knew I would not have to face each other until the village chief arrived.
After breakfast, Margaret went out to the clinic with Hugh, who picked her up, writing a word in the palm of my hand with the expression of despising her ill-made brother and expecting something.
I guess you remember the story of your mouth slipping that night. As much as I think about it myself, what if someone else just sees it? I didn't know you found it more difficult to bring about between you and my mother than a council at the Royal Palace.
The two downstairs work near Buddy playing outside doing laundry and cleaning the garden. There's still time for the village chief to come... now I guess. I took a gentle breath and peeked in the kitchen, and my mother was still there and pinching the powdered dough.
Hold your right hand and speak up in the guise of calm.
"... what were you making"
"Oh, Walter. I thought the village chief would join me for lunch. Scones."
"Didn't you also make Margaret in the morning?
"How much is that for the clinic? I knew it would be better to stand up."
A meal I thought about eaters. The way I don't hate labor. Think of it, every plate of meal served here was just my favorite. I'm pushed back by that fact.
"You still like to cook,"
"Right, I like it, the cooking, the field work... as a nobleman you would be disqualified. I'm sorry you're such a mother."
No, I don't want you to say those words, it's not my mother who apologizes. It's
"... it is up to me to apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I always wanted to apologize. It's a good thing your mother didn't say anything, but she's been stretching."
"Walter..."
My mother, who stopped moving with her hands buried in the fabric she was making, looked up at me with an incredible face.
The height difference between me and my mother is considerable. My mother, dressed to look up almost directly, still called my name standing beside her, without turning a blind eye.
"I always wanted to apologize. That I have allowed my life to continue for years in the Wang capital that did not go along with my intentions. That he tied himself to the Count's house with the shackle of me. That the servants of the mansion had not satisfactorily controlled it and had caused them to feel narrow shoulders. Being mean and out of line for a long time...... about my broken up wife"
"Oh, because of you,"
"No, it's my responsibility. It's all supposed to be something I managed to do."
Really, pitifully. How narrower my horizons were to realize it now?
"Ah, even you will have a position. I'm the one to blame, not you."
"Externally, it may be, but as a family, it's a mistake. Mother's not bad at all."
"... I'm the bad one. If I could do better, you would..."
Yes, this mother would never blame anyone else. The measure of accepting that everything is the result of one's actions is truly aristocratic. Unlike my father and tutor, who are just on the upper side. I was proud of my mother like that.
I was young. Since I realized it was my mother, not myself, who would be reprimanded if I told her I wanted to see her, I hardly ever saw her again, even if she lived under the same roof. The forcibly opened distance gradually drew me apart to my heart. It must have been my father's or grandmother's idea to provide the right education as the 'successor to the Count Dustin family'.
I do not believe that everything in the past has been a mistake now that I am thus an adult and fulfilling my duties. But there must have been other ways.
"... why don't you accept the apology? If you say you can't forgive me, I swear I won't bother you again."
I think it's a cunning way to put it. But if it wasn't this much, I'm sure it wouldn't reach my mother. What I want you to take is liberation, not apology. Please, I want it to arrive. Again, I held my right hand in.
"... stubborn."
"She looks like my mother."
"Truth is, I know you're sweet."
"My mother gave it up, too."
In the misguided eye, something glowing seeps. The puffy and zero falling tears are sucked into the powder at hand and disappear.
"... let's accept the apology. I forgive you, Walter."
"Thank you, thank you...... Mother"
My mother, who hugged me from either side without a scratch of powder, was still smaller than I remember. And it warmed up just as I remember it.
In the morning, the letters written on the right palm come back to life.
"It's not too late."
You're right, Margaret.
The fabric, stained with plenty of tears, continued to be made and went into the oven.
"I'll make it a memorial. Something not to be thrown away."
If I offered my mother to help me start making it again in a luminous way, she was vegan and dismissed. I can take off my whitened jacket and let the tea sit in the chair beside the table with one hand.
"Sit there more than that. Tell me something."
If you ask me to be listening, I can't even refuse. That said, I can't think of a topic that entertains my mother or anything, and when it comes to common topics, it's about Dr. Reynolds… Dr. Daniel and Margaret.
"For a long time, you're close to her. From the beginning?
"Margaret? Well, I don't know why, but he's not alert. Daniel tells me she's like a mother and daughter."
"It looked that way to me, too. At least she's more like a real child than I am."
My hand stops perfectly. Oh, don't mislead me, that's not what I meant. This is how conversation always stops, so that's the situation.
"Walter..."
"No, not disgust or anything. On the contrary, I was relieved… well, there was some jealousy"
Round your eyes to the surprised wind. I haven't seen a face like this in a long time.
"It's more than anything if you're having fun living in Meeserie. Besides, I'm not alone. Rest assured."
"... thanks. Kind of honest."
"I just blew it off. I've had enough for the rest of my life to regret it without telling you."
"Yes... yes,"
From the hand where the movement resumed, the molded fabric magically lines the top plate one after the other.
"Margaret will always be here, won't she?
"Well, I hope you'll stay till I get to your wife."
"You have plans?
"I can't say I don't. Hey, it's so popular. Although he hasn't noticed because Daniel and Buddy's guard is stiff."
I can't believe I'm delaying my daughter's marriage. I'm replacing my father, I say with pleasure. Dr. Daniel is certainly good at Buddy anyway. My mother has listened to me deliberately as a prank.
"Do you care too?
"... I think you're an attractive woman. You're not scared of me, you're gonna stay together and settle in wonder."
"I get it, so do I. It's really like family. I can't care less."
Family, family... I never got it though. If the warmth of the table that surrounds you here is family, I'm sure it is. Put your mouth on the cup that stayed in your hand.
"As far as I'm concerned, if that's what's going to happen, I wonder if they're Mark or you."
[incomprehensible]
"Oh, surprise?
"... I'm failing once"
"It will depend on the other person. I need to think of a successor."
"Adopt a child or whatever"
"Right, I'll take care of it. Do as you wish."
It's clear to the side that Mark thinks of her, but what about Margaret? Although there is no doubt that the next distance between my mother and Dr. Daniel is close.
Having finished arranging all the fabrics, my mother washes her hands and clears the table. The useless behavior is creepy to watch.
I think of my mother and Margaret standing side by side in the kitchen. Laughingly and pleasantly, the two cook handsomely one after the other and clean up again as they complement each other with a breath of abalone. The sight I've seen so many times in the last three days, suppose I go in there...
"... I feel more like a sister than a wife"
Tranquility that night, a peaceful time. I'm sure that's something you should call dear rather than love.
It's also been a really long time since I saw my mother smile happily in "Mother's Face".
The discussion between my mother, the village chief and the three of us about the village came to a close. Revenue and expenditure reports and tax collection relationships were reported twice a year and family ordinances were dispatched, but things I hadn't seen in this eye for a while actually caused problems with the land.
Pick up lunch, leave my mother and follow the mansion in a boxcarriage with the village chief. I went to see the actual location and went around to determine the order and magnitude of the repairs and where they needed to be repaired, which I had also heard lightly on the first day.
It was a good time to finish looking at all of today's minutes, so I decided to send the carriage straight to the clinic after I broke up with the village chief. Hugh is back in King's Capital and Buddy is home with his mother. I wonder what it would be like to let Mark walk alone... though I think Mark would send it.
Margaret was just out there surprised to see me picking her up unexpectedly. He said he had just dropped off his last patient.
"I was just stopping by because I had inspected. It's almost over, I'm going back to the mansion now, but what do we do?
Mark appears to have overheard the carriage under Margaret, who writes in her palm and returns to the clinic, wondering if she would wait a moment. I realize the atmosphere between the two people talking at the doorstep is different from it was until yesterday...... I see, I am awed by my mother's wise eyes.
As I watched, Margaret went indoors and came closer to me with Mark standing beside the carriage.
"… are you picking up"
"I'm on my way home. You wouldn't have to be so vigilant."
You didn't think it was on your face, I look out for you unexpectedly. “Excellent Dizleili" can't afford to talk about his lover, he says. Some things are cute and outrageous.
"You don't have to worry. Sure, she's attractive, but she hasn't seen it that way"
"Even so, just because you're Adelaide's son, you certainly deserve to be in that position… I honestly can't afford it, and I'm not happy"
"I see, each other"
Eyes on each other. I accidentally strayed.
"... Ever since I was a child, I've always wished my teacher was my real father. Your position is my year-long wish."
The indescribable silence ended with Margaret returning. Put the escort on Mark. Get in first and wait. The carriage departed quietly as Margaret, who had been riding for some time, sat diagonally across the street.
"... my face is red"
The grin spills unexpectedly on Margaret, who was pointed out and stuck in the basket. This feeling of no jealousy or anything like that would certainly not be love.
I have a teasing guilt, so I decide to confess it here.
I talked to my mother.
As soon as I get to the bottom of my face, I raise my face. I'm staring straight at you. So painful. I looked again at the palm of my right hand and gently gripped it.
"... thanks, Margaret"
That's all it conveyed.
There were no more words on the road to the mansion, but neither did Margaret's grin disappear.
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