So Long For Now, Summer

So Long For Now, Summer

Chapter 11

Guilty

………………………………

It’s a reality that’s different from normal people. So no matter what he did to do so much for him, it was not realistically natural.

His response to Chairman Jang was similarly to the power that could make her even more miserable than Jang, whether because he was her boss or because of her unrequited love.

It just happened, instead of being controlled, he was able to come up with another idea that would not have forced her.

Would you do this to any woman other than me as well?

Perhaps because of that temprament, she became fond of such a man in the first place, a man who was cold but morally strict, who seemed not to care much about others, but who was willing to thoroughly protect his own people.

And she was his people, but she had instead given her unrequited love for him. 

He was a very respectable boss, and that had given me pride in her feelings for him. It was even more so because of what happened today.

But the premise of ‘no woman other than me’ inflates her pride for him endlessly, but it also cuts her self-esteem like a double-edged sword. 

The truth is she was no different from anyone else in the end. 

She recounted those facts over and over again, wondering if there was any more potent way to kill this love. 

There’s nothing to be mistaken about.  

Shim Hee-joo. You’re not special at all…..

No matter how much she reminded herself, in the end she’s just trying to embroider his anger or discomfort earlier. Thus, she opened my mouth to distract myself.

“I really think I could get some settlement from Chairman Jang.”

She felt him who had been looking out the window, turning his head toward her.

“Take it, as much as you can.”

“I am still dwelling it on.”

“I can’t force you anyway, and if you don’t have any sense of self-confidence, you’ll only be buried in silence, and I’m not even going to have a scratch on that Chairman Jang.”

She recalled that situation when she had been evaluating it while being afraid of Chairman Jang at the same time. 

So she nodded without any thought, because she did think so as well.

“Then take as much as you can. I don’t think it’s a big deal for him to get several million deals, but it’s pretty hard for someone like President Jang who doesn’t want to spend a million won. I wouldn’t touch it but couldn’t write it in vain as well.”

“…a million?”

“I’m sorry,” he replied at, my alarmed voice.

“Do you write it down?”

“There are too many.”

“It is closest to the minimum. Less than that, it isn’t good.”

“You said you couldn’t sue anyway, so how would you—”

“If you want to, I’ll do it. I can help you.”

He was drunk, wise and self-indulgent but he just seems to become someone else completely.

“I recklessly did whatever I wanted to do, and I’m sorry.”

The apology was also ambiguous.

“I thought it was natural for my boss. ‘She’s so nice, she’s not going to be able to speak to her defense, she’s not going to make a complaint or a claim’. I really did think it would’ve happened too. Not very pleasant, but I… I was grateful for it. I might not sound very grateful…. But I was so grateful, since you didn’t have any obligations to do that for me.”

He and the company had to pay too much. It was already uncomfortable as it was. It was all due to the other party. 

If Chairman Jang was just a common middle-aged corporate executive, he would have been indifferent about it now, but unfortunately it was not the case at all.

A small nobody like her would have been pleased and satisfied just by serving Chairman Jang. Even if she didn’t want to until the very end.

He laughed while saying excuse me.

“That’s what I thought.”

“What?”

“You didn’t actually have to do that.”

“…….”

“I was just being a little fucking airheaded.”

“No.”

“I saw you alarmed, but I didn’t realize the reason.”

Woo Jin-ha’s voice was mocking with laughter. She shook her head seriously.

“It was all true and proven if that’s what you were worried about.”

“Did you …?”

The truth is that it was really all that had happened. 

When a personnel team involved in a sexual harassment case in the company, it had happened just right after his placement to take up the vice president position.  

He had quickly finished his training periods then got himself promoted to vice president after the training period was done.

“I mean, I’m a little sorry for you, and I’m just saying that I should be a little more—”

What could I do? 

There was nothing as stupid as saying, ‘I should have done well.’ 

I was really feeling guilty. 

She was a disastrous person standing in the gap between the rich and had to blame herself more that she damaged the deal.

In the end, this frustrated feeling only proves how different he and I are.

‘Isn’t it because I was usable anyway? He’ll go abroad with a pretty secretary, and he’ll change it if he’s tired. No one was as convenient as the secretary.’

A handy woman. Usable. Toys that could be changed when one got tired of. 

She has never been used like that, and Woo Jin-ha has never forced or used me in that way.

Nevertheless, her poor origin felt glaringly displayed in front of Woo Jin-ha.

She’d shown him that drinking for her was just drinking, that it won’t matter what is the taste or the brew and she could only treat the liquor like that. 

So she could not be happy that he stood up for her, because the damage he had to suffer for protecting her was worse. 

If Woo Jin-ha was really a boss to her, how happy and strong his protection would have been as a subordinate.

She was just destroying her pride because of her love for him, and she was eventually breaking apart.

“More, then what?”

“…….”

“I can’t buy fantastic status, and I couldn’t refuse when Jang invites.”

“…….”

“What should Shim Hee-ju have done there?”

She tried to make a little bit of a joke, but she was pushed back.

“If you get it that way, then it’s not my plan from the start.”

“…….”

“So if Ms. Hee-joo apologizes now, I’ll be rather offended, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good answer.”

It was a strict-tight voice, but then again it has a light tone, murmured in a soft voice, and it was really new to her who had seen the drunken Woo Jin-ha in these four years every day. 

She’d never told him this before, and she’d like to see what he looks like if she was not driving.

I’ve been miserable for a few minutes, and I’m crying. I don’t have guts.

“But Ms. Hee-joo is right….”

“What?”

“I didn’t really have to do that.”

Do you ever have any habit of saying something you didn’t mean to say when you were drunk? And after you regret it?

No wonder he did something to vent it. He glanced at the right side mirror, and he kept his chin leaned on the side, as if he were thinking.

“So, if it wasn’t for Shim Hee-joo….”

“…….”

“…..Well, I’m sure he did it on purpose, and I don’t want to see those dirty stuff.”

At first she didn’t understand what he was saying.

“But you’ve found the right words, and if you try, there’s a way that won’t make you be ashamed towards him.”

“…….”

“I don’t know why I did it like a madman….”

“…….”

“Do you know why Ms. Shim Hee-joo?”

“I don’t know at all.”

Her heart thumped from below, as if it were on my foot, and she didn’t know, because she didn’t really want to think of anything.

“Why do you think I’d know?”

“…….”

“You really don’t know?”

“Yes.”

She was expecting her place here. She had long ago abandoned any expectations.

He smiled a little silently, then pointed to the green light. She started the car late. The drunken Woo Jin-ha was very dangerous. He played with her without even knowing what he was talking about. He was angry, excited, sad, good, pathetic all at the same time.

Why would he say that to me? Maybe I’m a little special? 

Thinking about these old ideas made her flutter.

“So what about the charges?”

“What?”

“It won’t do much, but I think I might have wanted to go ahead and try.”

“It’s okay, I just feel embarrassed, but I don’t want to put any more pressure on the company. And like that, this was it.”

She tried to put herself in, but the voice that seemed to know her well poured oil on her grubby sentiment.

She never felt so close to Woo Jin-ha, this is too good to the point she wanted to run away.

She felt the car’s steering wheel nervously with her ten fingers, as if she was more drunk than he was, and she managed her vision as if she was afraid of the illusion if she turned to face him.