Star Crossed In Time

The elixir burns all the way down like strong alcohol but as soon as the elixir hits my stomach, I feel the worst pain of my life. I drop the bottle and lean over to clunch my stomach but soon the pain begins to spread.

"Remember to relax! The more you fight it, the worst it is!" Zhen says from the side. I want to tackle him and shave him bald but I can't even speak let alone move! Relax!? You want me to relax with this type of pain!? I feel like my whole body has been dipped in acid!

I fall over on my side as I try to remain breathing but it's hard to do with the amount of pain rolling through me. I try to do something, anything! To lessen the pain but nothing I do seems to help. I shut my eyes tight as I try to keep breathing.

In.... out. In.... out. I tell myself over and over as I try to think of happy thoughts. Suddenly my mind goes back to the first and only real Christmas the Orphanage had. I was six years old that year... The Orphanage had always decorated for Christmas each year but this year, we had Christmas presents!

Someone had donated a bunch of toys to the orphanage that year so the ladies decided to wrap them and put them under the tree. It was the perfect Christmas... it was even snowing! Even though it was a little cold inside the old building, the large fire in the commons area gave everything a strange warmth.

My present was wrapped in newspaper, all of our gifts were, but we didn't care! I quickly ripped the paper off and saw the cutest stuffed sock monkey I had ever seen. He was perfect! I instantly fell in love with the monkey and named him Mr. Toes. I was an odd kid...

Later that night, I cuddled Mr. Toes for warmth but I felt something hard in him. After removing his little red knitted sweater I found a little metal wind up on his back. I gently turned the wind several times and nearly cried when it started playing music.

There was a music box inside Mr. Toes! I later found out the song was called Memories... heh, somehow it's befitting. I would wind that thing up every night before falling asleep. I'd wind it up when I was hurt and crying or even when I was sick. Mr. Toes was magical.

Suddenly the pain from the elixir is gone and I'm left on the floor in tears. I wasn't crying because of the pain, I was crying about Mr. Toes! He slowly fell apart as I grew older but I still loved him dearly. When I was sixteen, I lost him to the fire that took place at the Orphanage that year.

I was never the same after that... Zhen's face pops into view as he looks down at me with concern. "Did it hurt too much?" He asks with worry. My chin trembles as tears fill my eyes once again "Mr. Toes!!!" I cry out like a child. Zhen looks at me with confusion and growing concern.

"Did she break?" He mumbles as I have a small mental breakdown. After a few minutes, I get up and wipe my face. I'm Twenty-five years old and I'm still crying like a damn baby over Mr. Toes! "I'm fine! Sorry, a trip down memory lane is a little painful for me..."

Zhen nods his head and says "Crying is how your heart speaks when your words can't explain the pain you feel. Sometimes you can't let go of what's making you sad because it was the only thing that made you happy at that time. Let it hurt, then let it go. Don't wear your tragedies as shackles, wear them like armor and become happier." I look over to Zhen with a look of shock.

I feel a smile creeping across my face when I realize he's right. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional! How long will I hold onto the very things that keep hurting me? Sighing I push myself up and stretch. I feel so much lighter! Physically and emotionally... when I open my eyes again I find myself shocked once again!

What's this feeling? I slowly lift my hand up to my lower stomach as Zhen says "That's the beginning of your new power! Now we'll work on making it grow! No Granddaughter of mine will be weak!"