Still, Wait For Me

Xu Tiansheng and apple leave before the party is over.

Left the car to Huang Yaming and Tan Yao, who eventually didn't become little stars. Of course, they will not give up. Huang Yaming's fatalism of "God told me to wander” has long been accepted by Tan Yao in its entirety without hesitation.

So they both felt like they had a life direction and a comrade.

In fact, in their view, Xu Tiansheng should also be a comrade, except that he has always refused to admit that he is stubborn.

Xu Tiansheng and apple walked the streets of Shenghai City in the middle of the night, in the summer and evening breeze.

apple laughed and wept again.

Xu Tiansheng walked not far behind her.

apple stood on a bridge, leaning against the bridge and opening her arms, letting the wind blow her clothes hunting, and letting her hair drift wildly, including on her face.

And then she started singing "We're All Good Kids" with her loudest voice.

She said, "I was supposed to be like this, Mr. Xu. ”

Xu Tinsheng said, "This is good. ”

apple said, "What are you supposed to look like? Xu Tiansheng. Are you 20 years old and tired of acting like Superman? Actually, what should you look like? ”

Xu Tiansheng thought about it, tucking up the sleeves of the high-end suit, letting it wrinkle, then tearing the tie, unbuckling the top of the shirt, picking up smoke,...

Like a very bad teenager.

“Hello, meet my name is Xu Tingsheng, I'm 20 years old. ”

After that, Xu Tinsheng said, “I think so. ”

So apple laughed out loud and said, "Who can imagine?! But you're so handsome. ”

Everyone had a time when they were juveniles, at least imagine, and then life changed the way most people looked. Xu Tinsheng did not say the second half of the sentence: “This time, I was born to be changed. ”

In fact, men are generally common in the memory of youth.

Rich people, high-ranking officials, celebrities, ordinary people, in short, most people, when one day they are in their thirties and forties, have big stomach stools or rough palms, accidentally cross the hillsides or parks or alleys of their first date in life, in fact, are generally the same emotions and emotions.

Occasionally, men even miss the fact that they had singled out, won or lost, and were stuck in front of the school by a group of people.

Even then, nervousness and fear, remembering after years, actually found it interesting.

So, it was society that ended up carving teenagers into different faces, not so-called growth.

Describe the changes that teenagers are forced to make in society as growth. This is the biggest lie in this society and the most “dirty” defamation of life.

It's like somebody cut a knife in a wonderful painting and said, "Look, years have cracked it.” Such shame.

apple kissed Xu Tiansheng's lips gently, stopping at the touch, but being so serious. Do you remember the first time that girl kissed your lips?

Then she held his hand and kept walking.

So people went from the street lights to the neon glow.

Finally, another head went into some deep alley.

Two people crossed an alley and found a small shop at the end of another deep alley. Outside the store, the old bulbs shine a dull light under the roof, and the boss and the boss sitting at the door are both young.

apple said, "Boss, boss, do you remember me? ”

Two people looked at it, thought about it, and finally shook their heads.

apple was not lost either, took Xu Tiansheng into the store, ordered a few small dishes and ordered wine again.

The first glass of wine, apple said:

“When I first came to the high seas, my mom worked in this shop. We lived behind this, in a small attic in an old house. I remember every rainy night we had to climb up, take out all the pots, and then the leaking rain from the corner of the bedside.

Then they held each other, leaning against the bed, listening to the wind and rain, and the thunderbolting sound of thunder, and they dared not sleep all night. Daddy used to love Mommy, and I remember he said that we were like he had two daughters. ”

Then, for the first time, Xu Tiansheng listened to Apple so seriously about her past. Despite the fragmentation.

In 1993, Apple's father suddenly decided to divorce him and then left Libei in a hurry. So the 10-year-old apple followed his mother to the high seas just because she heard that he was in the high seas.

They didn't find him, but they chose to stay.

Spoiled moms begin to learn to live strong and independent while taking care of apple.

“I started going to school here with a lot of strong, strong anxiety and fear," Apple said. “At the time, I was actually very quiet and very good at first. Don't laugh. ”

“Actually, I always thought, if Dad had been there, maybe I'd end up being another kind of girl, maybe like someone you should have seen too. She is one of the girls I have met in Libei Junior High School. No, one of the most envious and aspiring girls I have ever met. Her name is Ye Yingjing.

I envy her more than Xin.

Of course, my grades may not be as good as hers, but they won't be so bad. You know, there was a time when I wanted to be friends with her, but it couldn't be, could it? ”

apple finished, tearful. Then go on to say:

“But nobody cares, they just say I'm a dirty countryman, classmate, even a teacher. They said I spoke with a country accent, dressed in dirt, and a dirty name. Someone else would pinch my clothes and laugh at me for being poor. I was really poor at the time and my clothes were always old, though clean. ”

“Later we started having English classes, and I realized that most of my classmates had already studied. They took turns walking to the stage, introducing themselves in English, telling everyone their English names, some of them called Dave, Aaron, some Rose, Jessica,...”

“When it was my turn, I was nervous, and the teacher saved me the introduction and asked me what my English name was. I said, apple.” Apple smiled, “Actually, it was because that's all I knew at the time, except for hello and hi, so I said it. ”

“The classmates were laughing, but the teacher said the name was cute," apple said, "and since then, I've told Dave and Rose that my name is apple. ”

apple had a lovely English name, but eventually it wasn't recognized by those "good” classmates, and finally she had to realize that she was only likely to be one of those bad classmates who started sneaking yellow hair.

“I learned to talk like them, walk, play with them. I have friends. And then I found out that, while more and more people hated me, they started to dare not say it, and they started to fear me.

Including those who were previously unwilling to join me at the table, they later sat down honestly and did not dare speak up. They hate me anyway, don't they? So why do I care?

And then I grew up, and I grew prettier and prettier, and there were a lot of boys who liked me, all kinds of boys, and they liked me. Then I learned how to deal with them and use them. I'm good. ”

apple found her protective color.

“And then I became the first person you saw me like. Until senior year, I didn't know that I was going back to Libei to take the college exam. My mom insisted that I stay in Libei before taking the first college exam, so I arrived in your class.

In Libei, a small county city, in Libei Middle School, I found myself the most special kind of alien, and when I describe myself to others, I would even exaggerate the difference and enjoy their incredible gaze, even their loving, following attitude.

Do you remember that time? ”

Xu Tiansheng shook his head and said, "I forgot, I don't remember much about that time. ”

"Yeah, you didn't seem to care about anything at the time, you played soccer, and you messed with Huang Yaming and Fucheng. You even chased Yao Yao like an occasional game, and I wanted to laugh. But you hated me then, didn't you? You don't look at me. You don't look at me.

Actually, I was curious about you at the time, but once I took the initiative to say hello to you, you see, I wasn't talking. You see, my eyes are like those of my ex-child classmates. So I felt like you were something, and I started making myself hate you. ”

Xu Tinsheng said, "Not many people were likely to like me at the time. I'm another strange person. ”

apple laughed and said, "Later, until three months before the college entrance exam, you suddenly left and came back, and then you started glowing like a god. Oops, I've never seen such a magical person, so I was fascinated. But then I thought, the real reason, you know what? ”

Xu Tinsheng said, "What is it? ”

“Because you did what I fantasized about, what I fantasized about becoming," Apple said. In a word, don't laugh, but it wasn't until then that I realized that I really wanted to be a good person, that I didn't have to find a way to find identity, but to be recognized by everyone. ”

Drink a glass of wine and apple goes on to say:

“I started trying to get close to you, and we had contact. And then I found another you, and I found a warm and steady possibility with you, and I started to like you. Then do your best, hope you like it.

I've always wanted so much to be able to show you a special me, to be a person you can identify with, no matter how hard and how hard you grieve. ”

apple's life, from the day she came to the high seas, has actually been doing the same thing, losing herself, disguising herself, changing herself, finding identity, finding belonging.

Then she lost herself.

The root cause of depression is self-denial. She went through the darkest part of her life, and even when she finally came to Xu Tiansheng, she only found herself a non-existent, non-existent client.

A lonely little plum deer searches for a roof and falls into the swamp and darkness along the way. After a difficult escape, she looked back and stood by to see the roof. Finally, she turned to the other side of the forest, where she was the plum deer.

On the second count, apple said, "Thank you, Mr. Xu. You let me see who I wanted to be. ”

Last drink, apple says:

“You and me, let's say goodbye to apple, I'm Tsen Xiyu. Tsen Xiyu would still like Xu Tiansheng, but not like before. I hope you like me the way I am. ”